Rox (Nameless Order: Heart Chapter #1)

12. Mimic

Twelve

Mimic

I may look calm, cool, and collected, leaning against my bike under the spotlight of the streetlamp. I’m anything but. I’ve mastered putting on a mask so no one can see the truth beneath the surface. To the outside world, I’m a very picturesque version of a bad boy coming to steal your daughter away. I know what I look like to others, and I accept it. As long as others don’t see the truth, which is nothing but anxiety. I’ve missed her more than anything, but the truth is that seeing her for the first time in a week is setting my mind on fire. The panic I feel stems from the fact that I’ve been away from her for so long. Mentally, I needed the space, but I’m fully aware I didn’t give her the explanation she deserved. So here I am, trying to make up for the space I asked for. It’s been seven, almost eight, days since I’ve laid eyes on her.

I don’t deserve her or the way she accepted my needs. Out of respect for me, even though I’m positive I didn’t deserve it, she didn’t message me after her initial ask. I read her words, and my heart melted. She made it clear I should take the time I needed. Her support and her not fighting me on the space my soul needed made me fall deeper in love with her. Something I’m going to keep close to my chest. For now, anyway.

As I wait for the love of my life to come outside, I think back throughout the days I spent away from her. One in particular stands out. I’d been coming and going at the ranch. Doing my time and leaving. I didn’t want to be around anyone if I couldn’t even bother to be around the one person in the world who means the most to me. But I wasn’t going to abandon the animals or the families we were helping hide from their abusers. I was there, but I wasn’t there .

It was easy for Angel to corner me in the barn a few days ago. My mind was so focused on what I revealed, and being away from Rox, I didn’t notice him until he was in my face. My first reaction was to think he was going to hit me for something. Maybe he remembered his drunken rage and was ready to finish it. I was prepared to fight back. I wasn’t prepared for him letting me know he’d done his part in getting her to forgive him. I didn’t understand why he was telling me this. As far as I was concerned, it was way past time for him to apologize for how he’d treated her. Did he tell me that because he knows how close Rox and I have become? Prez might have a better idea, but unless Rox has been talking about me to them, neither of them should know.

“Good for you, brother. I know you guys have been close for years, and this has been killing you both, " I told him, going back to the stall I was mucking.

“You need to make her smile now.” How can something so innocent and straightforward make me feel as though my life has been truly threatened? Before I can ask him about it, he turns and leaves the stall. Leaving me even more confused.

Add that moment to the guilt I’ve felt, and I’ve been a goddamn wreck.

I watch as she finishes up with a client. It’s late, but she isn’t alone. Duncan is still with her. I’m hoping I won’t have to teach the twig a lesson about treating my girl right. Something tells me I won’t have to. At least not today. Even from this distance, I can see the twinkle in her eye. The smile on her face tells me she’s on a high from creating artwork. This is what she was meant to do, and watching her in her element twists my heart in the best way.

Seeing her happy brings some of the heaviness off my chest and gives me some hope this talk won’t turn into me getting my heart ripped out of my chest. I’ve been letting her know she’s on my mind. She is the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing as I close my eyes at night.

As much as it pained me to be gone, I know I’m not the only one who needed it. For her to be able to love me, we needed me to have a better mindset for this relationship to work. If I hadn’t given myself the time to clear my head, I would have ruined the best thing that’s ever happened to me before it even started. After the week of fighting with all my new emotions and old ones that I thought were dead and buried, I’m now in a place where I can tell her about the battle we’re going to face now that I’m being my authentic self with her.

“Mimic?” Her sweet voice cuts me from my thoughts. I was so locked in the memories of the past few days that I didn’t even notice her leaving the shop. Looking at her now, it’s clear the smile that was shining in the shop is still out, and now, it’s directed right at me.

“Hey baby,” I stand from my leaning position as she runs towards me.

I catch her on the jump as she wraps her long legs around me. She’s holding me as closely as I am her. Her lips drop to mine in a soft but powerful kiss. Her lips are doing a fucking fantastic job of letting me know how much she missed me. I feel born again in her arms. The distance helped me gather the clarity I needed to deal with the onslaught of emotions, but having her back in my arms had me feeling like I was coming home.

I lean forward, her legs refusing to let me go. Her arms wrap tighter around my neck, and she buries her face between her arms and my neck, shaking her head. I can’t help the bark of laughter that comes from my mouth. You’d think we have been apart for years and not a week.

“Baby, I wanna take you for a ride,” I tell her, trying to pry her off me enough so she can look at me.

“That sounds almost too indecent for these public streets, even this late at night.” Rox’s voice vibrates on the side of my neck, sending a chill straight through me.

“Get your mind out of the gutter, you pervert.” I laugh at her again as I try to pry her koala-like grip from my body. “I want to take you somewhere special so we can talk. I owe you a long explanation.”

With that, she pulls back and lets her body slowly drag down my own. Full transparency, it’s not helping me stay focused, and I think her devious mind knows that. But when her eyes meet mine, I don’t see mischief. I see my sweet, beautiful woman looking up at me with worry tinged in those beautiful blue eyes.

“You know I’m not mad at you, right? I understand that was a lot, and you needed to deal with it. You don’t need to apologize.” Rox tells me as her soft hands rest on my rough cheeks. She keeps me in place, forcing me to hold her gaze.

“Hop on baby. We’ll talk about it more when we get to where I want to take you. I know I don’t deserve it, but trust me, please.” I lean down and brush my lips across hers.

Stepping back, I lead her to my bike. I secure the helmet I bought her to her head, even though I’m fully aware she knows what she’s doing.

Feeling her pressed against me as we speed off from the shop fills me with something new. Something I’ve never felt before, yet I’m positive I’ve yearned for it. This feeling is something I’ve craved before, but I never understood what it was. Rox wrapped around me has finally put a name to the feeling I craved—lust, love, perfection.

It doesn’t matter that she’s been on the back of someone else’s bike. I can’t be mad at her for riding with her dad or Angel. They were in her life long before I was. Now that I have her on the back of mine? She’s never going on the back of another man’s bike ever again. No matter who it is. Her holding me as she presses her body against my back feels like the start of something great. I don’t think I can ever be in a cage with her again unless it is the only way to travel.

Once we hit the deserted highway, I sit up a little taller. Rox runs her hands from my abs to my chest. I rest my left hand down on her knee before I shift and rub up and down her calf and squeeze it playfully. I’m met with her hands, taking my pecs and squeezing them before I feel her chest vibrate with laughter against my back.

I can say I have never been involved enough with a woman to enter this playful stage with them, yet being here with Rox seems easy. There is nothing forced about our banter. In our short time together, she’s been able to pull a newer version of myself out of me. Which says more about her considering I left to get my mind, heart, and soul in check so I could be the man she deserves.

I pull into the parking lot by the pier, helping her off the bike. Rox wobbles a bit—needing to get her sea legs back. I hold her steady by keeping my hands on her hips. My thumbs run along her waist and peek under her sweater to graze her soft skin. She shivers, pulling me into a sweet and gentle kiss. Taking her hand, I lead her to a bench overlooking the water. It’s too dark to see clearly, but the sounds are as smooth as the sights. It’s as beautiful as she is and has the same calming powers she has. And I need calm for this talk.

“Thank you,” I tell her as we sit. She turns to me with a puzzled look on her face, so I continue before she can ask any questions. I want her to, but I also need to get this out first. “Thank you for seeing me for who I am, what I truly am. I had pushed all of the feelings and life from Max down until they were almost forgotten.” My voice shakes a little as I explain. She reaches out and rests her hand on my leg. It’s a simple way to let me know she’s here with me. She smiles softly and nods, letting me continue to talk about my feelings. My heart leaps, bringing in more emotions of love and adoration for her. “When we were talking about the good memories of my life as Max and my life as me, I started to get overwhelmed with all the bad memories attached to them, too. Then guilt, anger, and so much I couldn’t handle bubbled up to the surface. It was too much at once, and I wasn’t sure how to compartmentalize everything.”

“I would never expect you to, Max. I’m sorry I pushed you for so much. I should have known that by digging too far down, we would hit more than a few bad memories. I’ll be here for whatever you’re willing to share. I won’t push for more.” Rox tells me, both her hands on my leg, guilt washing over her face. That tugs at the guilt gnawing away in my gut. I am not doing my best to explain it.

“I want to be open with you, Rox. I want to share my past with you and let you hear about my growth, the good, the bad, and everything. I have never wanted that with anyone before. I have been content in the one night here and there when the urge hit me. Baby, what I see with you is so much more, and I don’t want to have secrets.” I lightly run my hand over the front pocket of my jeans. Making sure I didn’t lose what’s in it on the ride out here.

I don’t know how she is going to see this. Will she take it as a gift, or me attempting to lock her down and steal her away from everything? “I saw this and thought it was a perfect representation of us and what I see for our relationship going forward.” Rox carries my heart with my past, present, and future. With as much soul-searching as I have done, they are very much separate parts of me but intertwined, symbolized by the chain connecting the two hearts.

One whole heart is what my heart is now. Open and ready to show the world how much I love her and am proud to be with her. The chain runs through one heart, and a heart-shaped lock is attached to the other end of the chain. Creating a loop. The hearts are locked to the chain, and once the lock itself is shut, it can’t come undone without the key.

The key I hold.

“You have seen both sides of me and didn’t run. You loved and respected me, you didn’t push, you asked, and I answered. I let you in, and you now hold everything I locked inside my soul. You have the power to love me without conditions or destroy everything I have built. I’ve given you my power because you’re it for me. You’re my endgame, Rox.”

As I speak from the very bottom of my soul, I watch all her emotions reflect in her eyes. Everything I’ve been reflecting on for these past few days, I lay it all out on the line. Including the way she’s woken up something I thought dormant for so long. I willingly handed over all my power to her, and here she is, looking at me like I’m the world. And that’s all I ever wanted to be. I slide the chain out of my pocket, the key on its own smaller chain for me.

“I got you something as both an apology present and something to show I am with you even if we’re apart for a period of time,” I tell her as I place the chain around her neck, locking it in place. I hold the key up to show her. “I know this is going to sound cheesy, but this also symbolizes how you own my heart, and I hold the key to yours.” Rox looks at me with so much love. I know we’re here for the emotional talk, but I am ready for something else.

“There’s something else,” I tell her as I drop my voice. Her pupils dilate as she licks her lips.

“Oh, yeah?” Her words barely above a whisper, “What?”

I pull on the locked heart side of the necklace, causing the other heart to slide up and tighten around her throat. The heat in her eyes tells me she likes her gift. I pull on the chain, wrapping it around my hand until her lips meet mine in a heated, powerful kiss.

My hand grips the back of her head as I claim her lips. I pull tighter on the chain, causing her to gasp. “Fuck, the sounds you make are so delicious.” I loosen the grip on the chain, allowing her to throw her head back and take a breath. Her elongated neck calls to me. If I were a vampire, I’d latch onto her jugular and drain her until I got my fill. For now, I’ll settle for tasting her instead. I lick up her neck before I suck just below where her jaw meets under her ear. I stop before I can mark her, even though it takes everything I have to do so.

“Max.”

“I wasn’t sure how that would make me feel, but hearing you moan my name,” I let out a low moan as my eyes closed in ecstasy. “Say it again.”

“Max, fuck. I need you.”

“Have me, baby.”

“I’m not fucking you on the middle of the pier, Max.” She tries to hold onto the anger that isn’t there as she looks around. I know the second she finds her solution because her eyes light up. “Take me there,” she points off in the distance behind me. Turning, I see the little oceanside motel. I must take too long to decide because she grabs my hand, “Now, Max.”

It doesn’t take long before we have a key in our hand, the door open and closed, and I have her slammed against it with my tongue in her mouth. I swallow her moans as my hands claw at her body. She pushes my cut off my shoulders, and I allow it to fall to the floor.

Her hands make their way up under my shirt, and when she gets to my pecs, she claws her nails back down to the top of my jeans.

“Fuck,” I let out a moan. My little minx doesn’t know it yet, but I love a bit of pain. She can scratch me the fuck up all she wants.

I grip her shirt and rip it off over her body before I do the same to my own. Her bra is next, and once her tits are free, my hands are on them. I then play with one nipple as I suck the other into my mouth. Her head makes a soft thump against the door as I work my way down her body. I hit my knees and undo her jeans. I roughly pull those down her legs, including her panties, and once she’s out of them, I throw one leg over my shoulder and bury my face in her cunt.

Her hands grip and pull my hair as I feast on her. When I pull back, my fingers replace my tongue as I look up at her. Her head is thrown back as far as it can against the door, and seeing her so free to her pleasure has mine peaking.

Standing, her face meets mine as I pull my fingers free.

“What are you doing?”

I grip the chain and yank her toward me, “Get on the bed with your ass up in the air. I want your back arched so much you fucking hurt. Now, Rox.”

I release her chain, and she doesn’t hesitate. Her knees are apart, and with one last look back to me, she’s down on her forearms with her back arched so far I’m worried the wrong amount of pressure will break it.

She’s fucking stunning.

By the time my face is back in her cunt, and my hands gripping her ass cheeks, I’m naked. My cockhead is purple and angry. I’m more than ready to overtake her.

“Please, Max. I need you.”

I line myself up and start rubbing my cock up and down, making sure to play with her clit with my head. “Is this what you want, Rox? You want my cock?”

“Yes. Fuck—” she lets out a breathless moan, “—yes, please.”

I line up and push in just enough to fuck her with the tip. Short, shallow thrusts, enough to drive us both crazy. I’m gripping her ass harder in order to attempt to keep myself from slamming deep into her. I want to tease her for a little while longer.

“Max! Max.”

“I know, baby. You need more?”

“Yes! Fuck! Fuck me, please.”

I lean forward so I’m right next to her ear, “Only because you asked so nicely.” I lick her ear before I straighten myself up and slam into her as hard as I can. Her resulting scream is music to my ears. I don’t stop my assault on her. The sounds she’s making are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.

I’m grunting and moaning as much as she is. I’m ready to explode, but I’m not doing anything until she does. “Fucking come for me, Rox. I need it.”

I tilt my hips, and I know I’ve got her right where I want her when she smashes her face into the pillow to quiet the screams she lets out. I slam into her a good handful of times before I bury myself as deep as I can, releasing everything I have deep inside of her.

She collapses onto her stomach, and I follow, landing on top of her. I slide off enough so I can kiss her when she turns her head toward me. I love her.

“What?” she asks me with a smile.

I want to tell her the truth. I know I alluded to it when I was giving her everything I did earlier, but I didn’t come right out and say the words. As much as I feel them, I’m terrified of what it means for her when I do. Is it a step I’m ready to take? And because I can’t take the risk just yet, I tell her something else, but still very much the truth. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Rox.”