Chapter 10
10
Archie
I stay inside Dash for as long as humanly possible, but now that I’ve come, my cock can only do so much. I soften inside him, and no matter how I try to fight it, I slip out anyway.
He groans and breaks the kiss, leaning forward to press his forehead to the door. His ribs expand heavily as he tries to catch his breath. “Just gimme a moment to recover, and I’ll go.”
Go ? I step away, pulling the condom off and tossing it into my trash can. From this angle, I have a perfect view of Dash’s abused hole, and all I can think is how I want to be back inside there again. Now. Tomorrow. All weekend. My brain is all mushy after what happened. There’s no way to describe how sex with Dash has changed my whole life, and every time I try to find words to explain, they feel empty and meaningless.
I’ve always been powerful. Always had a powerful position in life. But for the first time ever, I felt it. Felt power beyond anything money or notoriety can give.
Dash giving me control over his body like that was the first time I actually felt in control of myself as well. The first time, ever, that I felt like me.
And so, despite the warnings going off in my head about Father and gossip and whatever the hell else, I say exactly what I want to say and fuck the consequences.
“I don’t want you to go.”
Dash whips around to look at me. “What?”
I cross back over to him, and with only the slightest hesitation, I turn him and reach for the buttons on his shirt. “I said I want you to stay. With me. In my bed. Where I can fill your greedy hole whenever I get hard and touch you in all the moments in between.”
His dark eyes study me, perfectly bowed lips stark red against his pale skin and slightly swollen from our kisses. I love looking at him and knowing I did that. Love that Dash’s usual bravado is dimmed by curiosity.
I open the first button, both of us watching the other. Then I move on to the next one.
“And what if someone sees?” he asks, voice low.
“I don’t owe anyone an explanation.”
“You’re a Levine.”
“I’m in college. Experimenting is an unspoken rule.”
Dash cocks his head, messy black hair shifting and a glimmer of that snark coming alive in his face. “Is that what this is? Experimenting?”
I shake my head because experimenting implies that I don’t already know what I want. “This is me taking what I want while I still have time to do it.”
“And I’m what you want,” he taunts.
He can joke all he likes, but he has no idea how true those words are. I finish unbuttoning his shirt and spread it open, taking in his gorgeous, masculine body. He’s skinnier than I am, lightly muscled, with deep depressions running either side of his hips down toward where his cock is hanging soft from a bed of dark pubes.
My breath punches in my lungs at the sight of him.
“Get rid of your pants.”
He kicks off his shoes and finishes shucking his pants while I shrug out of my jacket and undo my shirt. He watches me undress, shamelessly checking me out, and I can’t ever remember enjoying revealing each part of me for someone.
When we’re naked, I grab his hip, covered in red marks from my hands, and tug him toward my bed.
“Did I hurt you?” I ask as I climb in, then hold the covers up for him.
“Yep.” He sucks his bottom lip into his mouth before releasing it again. “Loved it though.”
“You loved when I hit your ass too.”
He rolls onto his side to face me. I stay lying on my back, trying to get my heart to settle over the fact that I’m lying in bed with another man. With Dash.
“Apparently, I like it when you get rough with me.”
“What? You’ve never liked it with other guys?”
“Ah, now who’s bringing them up?” His eyes shine with amusement. “But since you asked, no. There’s not a lot of guys I’ll let do whatever they want.”
I hate how much I love hearing that. “There you go making me feel special again.”
“I’m not sure special is the right word for it.”
I hook an eyebrow upward and roll up onto my side, and then I reach around to slip a finger into his used hole. “Clearly, not all of you agrees with that.”
He grins and runs a hand over my chest. “Fine. You won. Succeeded. Ruined me for all men.”
The nerves in my gut go wild, and that possessive streak finally settles. I leave his ass and run my hand up his smooth back instead, shocked by the notion that I’m, that we’re … what? Cuddling?
“What’s that look?” Dash asks.
I debate whether to be honest or not, but fuck it. What do I have to lose? “Am I allowed to admit this is really fucking nice?”
“What? Having a ready hole on hand?”
I scowl, pissed that he can’t be serious for a second. “Forget it.”
“Ooh, that made you mad.”
“What did you think it was going to do? I’m lying here thinking how great it feels to be here, talking and holding you like this, and you think I—whatever, Dash. I don’t give a shit.”
I flop onto my back, not liking the way my chest hurts.
Silence wraps around us. It stretches so thin the pressure in the room increases.
Dash shifts closer, pauses, then lies down, finding a place for his head on my shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“Right. Okay.”
“I guess I’ve never thought about snuggling before.”
I scowl. “We’re not snuggling.”
He wraps his arm around my waist. “Oh, yeah? How about now?”
Smart-ass. I can hear in his voice that he’s amused, but fuck him. This feels too good anyway. Instead of shoving him off, I wrap both arms around him and pull him tighter against me, skin to skin, feeling heated and so damn good.
“This is snuggling, asshole.”
He tries to stifle his laugh in my shoulder but fails. “As I was saying. I don’t really do this.”
“You don’t?”
“Nah, I mean, once sex is over, I don’t see much point in sticking around.”
“So why did you tonight?”
“Easy. You promised me more.”
I don’t like that answer, but what else was I expecting? “You’re saying that if I want this again, all I have to do is promise you sex?”
“Exactly.” His fingers trace patterns across my abs and up to my chest. “I was thinking I could ride you next time.”
“Yeah? Works for me because I was thinking I’d like to try sucking you off.”
“I’m so down for that.”
I almost roll my eyes. “Shocking. Really. What a surprise.”
“Sue me. I like sex.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t say this, but … I’ve never seen sex as something to like.”
“What do you mean?”
I don’t know what Dash and I are to each other, but I do know that I want to feel understood, and he’s the only person I can talk to about this. “It’s always been an obligation. Get hard, get it in, get it over with.”
His fingers pause.
“You …” I swallow, not wanting to get emotional over this. “I don’t think you’ll ever understand how different it is with you.”
“No, I get it.”
“Do you?”
“Not totally, but I know what you’re saying. Know what it was like the first time I had sex with a man after wanting it for so long. The way it’s not even completely about the sex and partially just about feeling like you know who you are now.”
“Yes. That’s … it’s exactly it.”
Dash lifts his head, and when he looks at me, there’s a softness to it I’m not expecting. “Kinda love I got to be the one to give you that.”
I kiss him because he’s here and I want to, and maybe because I don’t want to speak right now in case my voice does something stupid as I get the words out. “Thank you.”
“The thing is …”
“Yeah?”
“I’m thinking. And, well, it seems to me like you have to be super far into the closet, right?”
Some of my good mood shifts. “Yup.”
“Well, you know … I’m here.”
“Okay …”
“I mean, that if you want someone to keep letting off steam with … like, you officially ruined me for other men, so, it’s like, might as well keep going until the whole newness of you wears off, right? And it’s not like you can have sex with anyone else, so if you wanted?—”
My laugh is more relief than anything. “You wanna be my fuck buddy?”
“I’m just saying it’s on the table.”
It’s a struggle to stop from immediately accepting and giving away how eager I am for that. I push up his bandana, buying myself more time as I fling it across the room and try to flatten his wild hair. It’s long enough to tuck some behind his ear, and I do it slowly, loving how natural it feels with him.
“No one else.”
“What?”
I’m not sure if he doesn’t understand me or doesn’t like my question, but it’s a nonnegotiable for me.
I roll on top of Dash, flattening him into my mattress. “I don’t want anyone else touching you. I can’t have anyone else touching you. The thought that you were in the bushes with some other guy earlier is making me see red when?—”
Dash cuts me off. “Arch, I was making you jealous. He’s my roommate, and when you saw us, we were sneaking in, not hooking up.”
“What?”
The asshole looks way too amused. “I love how jealous you get. Want me to be all yours, huh? Your dick? Your hole?”
“My lips, my jaw, my throat, my nipples, my abs. Mine.” I grip him tighter. “I’ve never been good with sharing.”
“I’m not looking for a relationship.”
“Your choice.” Disappointment roars in my ears. “But knowing you were with some other man would eat at me. Every time I thought about you over the last weeks, all I could picture was you kissing that man in the hallway, and it made me want to punch something.”
“Anyone ever told you that you’re intense?”
“Never.” The way I’m behaving isn’t how I’ve ever been before. Lizzie could have been sleeping with all the guys on campus, and I wouldn’t have cared, but Dash? I need him to be mine. “Don’t walk away from me,” I whisper.
Dash smiles. “Oh, I have no plans to. I just wanted to push and see how serious you were.”
“I … I can’t come out,” I remind him.
“No, I know. That was my whole reason for the suggestion.” He leans up to kiss me, slowly, teasingly. My cock is already hard from this conversation, and that only makes the situation worse. “You can fuck me whenever you want to fuck me,” he says, reaching for my drawer and pulling out a condom. “And I can fuck you whenever I want to fuck you. We’ll be each other’s stress relief.” He tears the condom open with his teeth and reaches down to roll it over my cock. Then, he parts his legs and guides me to his hole, pressing my tip to it before I take over and sink in deep. It’s a blinding relief to be back inside him. “This is yours now,” he continues, voice a little deeper. “Whenever you need it. Take it. Just you. And when we’re done …” He kisses me again. “I’ll let you snuggle me all you like. No boyfriends. No obligations. I need you as much as you need me.”
I melt against him, hearing everything I need to hear. Our mouths fuse as we move together, no hurry this time, joined together with mutual need as I rock inside him until I come.
The party goes on until the early hours, and we’re awake even longer. Fast sex, lazy sex, using our hands and mouths and my cock in his ass.
When daybreak hits and Dash assures me it’s time for him to go, I have to hold back from begging him to stay. I could survive all day like this. All week, hell, maybe all month.
Just him and me. Talking and sex.
I’m exhausted, but my mind has never been more alive.
He slips out the door, and I can’t shake the feeling everything has changed. For good.