Chapter 12
12
Archie
Planning a date on short notice isn’t easy, especially since I can’t exactly take him out to a restaurant. I’m determined to make this good though, and I’ve got about an hour to do it.
We’ll definitely finish up on that sixty-nine he wants, but it’s the part between now and then that has me sweating.
“You good, Levine?” Steve asks, trying to see over my shoulder.
I shove him away, focusing back on my notepad and the complete lack of ideas on the paper. “Trying to plan a date.”
“Oooh, Lizzie is a lucky lady.”
I hmph , wishing it was easy enough to tell the truth. To say, “I’m gay, bro” and have the moment mean nothing to anyone. Instead, I’m too focused on the risk factor than finding a date idea that makes the guy I like feel sort of special. Dash … fuck, when I see him, it’s like everything else doesn’t exist. He tries to hide that vulnerability, that softness, behind snark and an uncaring attitude, but I see it.
Like he sees me.
We’ve only been fucking around for a couple of weeks, but I like him more than anyone I’ve ever met. I only wish it was easy enough to show him that, but I’m scared that no matter what I do, it will all fall flat.
“So, what are you thinking?” Steve asks, taking a seat at the dining table next to me. “Roses and dinner? Shopping? Any bands playing?”
“Bands?”
He shrugs. “Chicks like music, right?”
Everyone likes music. Including Dash, who always has something playing. I’m not up to date on bands or music styles, but I’ll bet he is, and I’ll bet he’s a picky bastard.
I call Jameson, our president and the man who knows everything about everything.
“Hey, man, I have a question for you,” I say as soon as he picks up. “Any chance you’ve heard about bands or events or anything on tonight?”
“Hold up, I’ll run over and check the message board. I saw some flyers the other day for something.”
I wait, glad I caught him while he was still on campus. Sitting across from Dash and getting a chance to chat would have been great, but hey, if it’s somewhere dark where everyone is focused on a band, maybe dancing together is something we could make happen. I rub at the ache behind my sternum, both loving and hating the feeling.
My suggestion to Dash tonight was a stupid one because I know all that’s coming for me is heartbreak, but I want to know what it’s like. Just once. And Dash, with his beautiful smiles and vulnerable eyes and snarky mouth, will be the one to do it.
“You there?” Jameson asks.
“Sure am.”
“There’s some kind of punk rock band playing tonight at Bally’s House. Nine p.m.”
“That’ll do. Thanks, brother.”
“See you around.”
He hangs up, and I immediately text Dash.
I’ll grab u at 9. I no I said to dress pretty but make that sexy instead.
Dash:
Suspenders & thong it is
I laugh and head upstairs to change. Bands in a downtown basement aren’t exactly my thing, but I’ll make it work. Surely, I’ve got some cutoffs and a tank top here somewhere.
Apparently not, and I end up having to raid Steve’s clothes, but by the time I leave to pick up Dash, I’m feeling good about things. My arms are out, the hundred push-ups I did before I left have them looking good, and the mix of nerves and excitement in my gut can’t even be settled by the image of what Father would say if he could see me.
The only thing that matters is Dash.
Except when he climbs into my car—wearing suspenders over his tank top and that bandana back in his hair—he eyes me, looking torn between horror and amusement.
“Slumming it, are we?”
I grin bashfully and back the car out of the drive. “Not impressed by my outfit choice?”
“Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever been more attracted to you in my life. Here I thought I was only after you for your money.”
Even though that’s been a concern of mine basically my entire life, there’s nothing about Dash that makes me believe it’s true. He doesn’t care about money or things. He’s working toward his own future, and he knows that won’t be with me.
My lack of response must worry him.
“That was a joke, by the way,” he says. “We both know you’re after me for my money.”
I snort. “Oh, yes. Expanding my wealth is top of my priorities.”
“Isn’t it always for rich, white dudes?”
I pinch his thigh, and he cries out, rubbing the spot, then retaliates by twisting my nipple.
“Ah! Driving!”
“Don’t start what you can’t finish, Levine.”
“I have no problems finishing, which you know well.”
“One of my favorite things about you.”
I drag my bottom lip through my teeth as I wonder whether to ask what I want to. Fuck it. “What else do you like?”
“Your dick.”
I should have seen that coming. “Okay, what about me do you like that doesn’t involve sex?”
A silence creeps in after my words.
“Wow. Ouch. ”
“Well, what do you like about me?” he fires back.
Even though I asked first, apparently, I’m not as afraid of my emotions as he is. “You’re trustworthy. You’re fun. You like to live in the moment. You love your family, and you know you need to work hard in life and actually want to earn everything you achieve.”
“Huh.” Dash swallows, and I glance over in time to see his Adam’s apple bob. “So that’s … things.”
“We talk a lot.”
“You remember a lot.”
“About you.”
He shifts in his seat. “I didn’t realize you were paying all that much attention. I mean, how do you focus after sex?”
He still hasn’t answered my question, and I try to ignore how shitty that makes me feel. The bitterness in my voice isn’t as easy to hide. “When you like someone, you sort of care about what they have to say.”
He still doesn’t answer, and we pull up at Bally’s House without talking again. I could linger on the thought that Dash is only here for the sex, or I could go back to the land of delusions and forget that reality exists.
So that’s what I do.
As soon as we park, I lean over the center console and pull him into a toe-curling kiss. “Hey.”
His expression is dopey when I pull back. “Now, that’s a greeting.” He glances out the windscreen. “Where are we?”
“There’s a band playing. Thought we could join the mosh pits and head banging.”
Dash bursts out laughing as we climb from the car. “Is it a metal band?”
“What’s metal?”
“Oh, sweet Jesus. Just follow me and try not to open your mouth.”
I duck my mouth by his ear. “Then how will I suck you off later?”
He groans and takes my hand to tug me through the door.
We let go almost instantly, and I follow him down the rickety metal stairs into the basement area of the club. It’s a smaller room, with a bar along one wall and a low stage up the back.
I don’t know what I was expecting, but the lighting is terrible, the crowd is thick, and I’m worried if I touch something, I’ll contract a disease.
Disappointment crashes through me.
“Fuck. I am so, so sorry.”
When Dash turns to me, his eyes have lit up. “About what?”
I gesture to the stuffy, humid room. “This wasn’t what I had in mind.”
“This is perfect!”
“It is?”
Dash is almost bouncing as he takes my hand again. His hair and eyes look dark against his pale skin in the dim lighting. “This band is good—not metal—and look around at the crowd. They skew older. No college people. No one to recognize us. You wanted boyfriends, let’s be boyfriends.”
I cast my eyes over the crowd, wondering if we can be open here. Out. There’s so, so much that can go wrong.
“What if … somebody doesn’t like it?”
“We’re not going to be humping on the dance floor. We’ll still be discreet.”
My hope is hesitant, but I can’t hold it back. “Okay.”
“Let’s go.”
The band is already partway through a number as we push our way into the crowd. Dash looks at home here, like he’s somewhere he belongs, and that fills me with the confidence to shadow him through the dancing bodies until we’re surrounded on all sides. The flashes of the colored stage lighting are all that’s brightening the space, and here, cocooned by bodies and sweat, music so loud it’s beating in my eardrums, I feel safe.
Safe enough to pull Dash in front of me and put my hands on his hips.
We’re not standing super close, we’re not touching anywhere else, but there’s so much chaos around us that no one is paying attention to two stray guys touching in the dark.
Dash dances like he was born into this madness, and I try to keep up. It doesn’t take long for me to get hot and sweaty, zoned out to everything but the music and the beautiful man in my grip.
His head falls back, messy hair brushing my bare shoulder, and gives me a smile that lights me up from my toes to my scalp. The smile is completely free, and in this moment, it’s created for me and me alone.
The crowd gets thicker as the night goes on, Dash and I pressed together no matter how much I try to fight it. His ass ends up in my crotch, and every movement brushes against me in a way that has me rock hard by the band’s final number.
I duck down to his ear and shout to be heard over the music. “Let’s go before everyone else does.”
“Okay, grandpa.”
I rub my hard dick against his ass cheek. “This is more of an impatience thing.”
Dash gets the message, grin wicked and hand in mine as he pushes his way back through the crowd again.
The whole time he’s leading us out, I follow.
The ache in my chest tells me I’d follow him anywhere.