Royally Benevolent (Resplendent Royals #4)

11. Real Talk

11

REAL TALK

ODETTE

“ I see you’re proud of your patronage. That’s good. Look at you integrating your favourite thing into work—your bike!”

I looked over at Grieg as he slept beside me. Elisa read my mind.

“Well, after Grieg, of course. Either way, that is a meaningful way to give back, right?”

I’d been so excited about my patronage that I’d sent Elisa a message. I’d done so while trying to avoid sending Wyatt the message I’d drafted half a dozen times already. It lived rent-free in my mind and always in my drafts folder.

“It feels good,” I said. “It’s a great opportunity.”

“See, your sister came around!”

I nodded. “She relaxed a little. And you’d be proud of me. I advocated for myself!”

“Good for you! Why do you look much less excited than I thought you would?”

“There’s more to it. I have a crush on a guy, and I’m pretty worried about it fucking everything up.”

“Why? ”

“Because it’s not gone well for me in the past. I just got myself into some rhythm.”

I played with the dog’s ears, distracting myself from opening up.

“If you are trying to get me to talk you out of having a crush, I won’t,” Elisa said. “I think having feelings—regardless of acting on them—is good for you. I’m not here to be your jailer, Odette. If you are using me as an out to deny yourself a step forward, I won’t give it to you.”

Your jailer . The words resonated so much that I picked Grieg up and held him on my lap. For the first fifteen years of my life, our grandmother served as our jailer. Until Rick married Alex and freed us, I’d never attended school with other children. Talking about it hurt, but I trusted Elisa.

“I don’t know what to do without a jailer,” I said.

“Do you worry that you will always need someone to tell you what to do?”

I shrugged. Grieg nuzzled my stomach and fell asleep again. Before I spoke, I listened to his quiet breathing to soothe me.

Elisa looked at the clock. I knew already our session was over.

“You have a lot to think about,” Elisa reminded. “Celebrate this win and stop getting in your own way.”

“Okay,” I agreed.

I cycled home, wishing things could be easy. I wanted some sign about what was right . I needed to talk to someone, but Ingrid wasn’t around. I couldn’t drop this on Alexandra. She was too sick and too busy to care.

Thankfully, I knew one person who wouldn’t judge me, and he looked to be in his office.

“Hey, Odie,” he said. “What’s up?”

“I want to send an email, but I’m scared.”

“About what? What is so frightening about an email? Better an email than a meeting that could have been an email.”

I sat down in front of his desk.

“Wyatt wants to strategise about improvements. He told me he’d talk me through the funding structure.”

“So, email him and say that. ”

“But what if I have a massive crush on him, and he finds out?”

“Then, he probably realises he has a cute princess chasing after him and gives it a go. Or he says, thanks, but no thanks.”

“And what if he does find out, and then we, like… I dunno. What if he was to ask me out? Like, what if I am actually vibing with him and reading it correctly?”

Rick furrowed his brow. “Then, you’d go on a date.”

“Okay, but I’m me.”

“Yes, being a princess sucks sometimes. It’s loads more fun to be a prince. However, kiddo, he’ll get over it.”

“Why?”

“Because you are you,” Rick said. “You’re an angel. He’s a nice guy. He’ll get over it.”

“But what about… you know?”

“What?”

“My bipolar disorder.”

“Thanks for spelling it out because that was the farthest thing from my mind. No. That is something you don’t say on a first date.”

“But what about when I don’t?—”

“What if I get mowed down by a stampede of wild horses tomorrow? Can we even prepare for what-ifs?”

“I hope you do not. I almost got hit by a car,” I said. “That’s how I met Wyatt.”

“Really?”

“It was okay. The driver didn’t see me. He wanted to see if we could fix the intersection. I didn’t expect to see him again. Don’t tell Alex, or she’ll take my bike away.”

“Wait, so that is how you actually met him?”

“The first time,” I winced. “He helped me save Grieg. Grieg ran off.”

“This is adorable,” Rick said. “The dog brought you together. Yes. I do hope it’s more than just an email. I hope it turns into a ridiculous rom-com like Astrid and Alex are obsessed with. It’s too adorable.”

I grimaced.

“I’d like to say I cared that he’s too old for you or whatever, but I think it’s cute. I’m happy for you. Don’t let your mental illness prevent you from being happy. If you like him, tell him! If it goes somewhere, you’ll know when you let him in the harder stuff. You’ll know.”