Chapter 9
“Iam jealous you get to go,” Ingrid whinged. “And not me? And you get to eat dinner with the grown-ups?”
All three of my sisters sat on the bed while Marta, my dresser, worked on pinning my hair up for tonight’s dinner. I had on a full face of makeup and a proper dress in hopes that I wouldn’t completely frighten Rick off. He left our meeting a bit odd. I didn’t blame him.
“It is as if she is on offer for dinner,” Astrid said. “You don’t want that.”
“What do you mean?” Odette asked.
“Oh, run along will you?” Astrid swatted at them. “Shoo! Find something to do.”
The little girls left, annoyed they were being left out. Astrid was, as usual, glad to be left out of whatever this society nonsense was. She wanted to be free but not free to attend dinners solely for the interest of eligible men. I wasn’t much for this, either. I knew in some backward sort of way that this was a last-ditch effort—my lone shot. I was born into this hell, and I would have to dig myself out on my own, too.
“He’s not hard on the eyes,” Astrid said. “You could do far worse.”
“Do you know what his nickname is? Per him?” I asked.
I watched her shrug in the mirror.
“Rick the Prick.”
She burst out laughing. “Oh my God! That’s brilliant. Can we call him Prickard?”
I snickered. “He’s been up to some trouble. I dunno. I can suffer through it?—”
“Why not wear her down?” Astrid asked. “You find another man?—”
“Because she wants a man she thinks will control me as best as he can. The thing is, that man doesn’t have his life together. I am more organised than he is. And for that, I am grateful. Because I will be fine.”
“Don’t you want to fall in love, though?”
“I want to eat, swim, ride my horses, make friends, and play tennis. I don’t want to be sequestered here for the rest of my life! I can give up falling in love if I can make the rest of it work. We can coexist. We can make it work. If it was good enough for Mamma?—”
“I am not telling you not to do it, Alex. I am just telling you that you don’t need to settle on our behalf. We will all be okay. You being miserable isn’t the takeaway the little girls need.”
“I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”
“And you think some random man is going to be a better person to answer to?”
“You assume I would answer to any man?” I scoffed. “No. He’s not the brightest bulb, I can assure you. I’ve got this. I might puff up his ego a bit, but really, I will be in control.”
My sister quieted.
“Fine,” Astrid said. “Know that I love and support you, but that I also think a woman should stand on her own.”
“I agree with that. However, right now, we’re all stuck in this place. I will have my day but I would never be able to live with myself if I didn’t ensure you all were happy. The little girls still have a chance to have a few normal years before adulthood. I could give them that.”
I was frightened of what might be next. Without my sisters, I would be much more alone. When I looked at them, the choice was easy. I had been on the other side. I wanted them to be there, too. Of us four, I’d had the most time outside these walls.
“You look lovely, ma’am,” Marta said.
I did. Marta gleefully altered my dress, pulling it in at the waist and slightly bringing down the neckline. I finally looked youthful. She promised to continue making nips and tucks here and there to ensure I looked more age-appropriate. Her assessment of my wardrobe was not positive. She was also the nicest person, so she wasn’t about to say it was all rubbish even if she felt it.
“Thank you.” I stood, giving myself one last look in the mirror. “And I’m off.”
I teetered in heels down to the main dining room where I found my grandmother and Rick. Rick stood to greet me, bowing deeply, and waiting for me to sit. Grand-Mama didn’t bother to acknowledge me beyond a simple hello.
I took a seat and we all stared awkwardly at the first course as it arrived.
“Do you like Neandia, then?” I tried my hardest to make conversation.
“Oh, well, it is different than I recalled,” Rick replied. “The gardens here are lovely. I ran into your sisters.”
His voice was nervous. I wasn’t sure what to make of that.
“They said, yes. Ingrid thinks you are rather handsome.”
Rick snickered. “Tell her I appreciate the confidence boost. She’s the littlest one? She was playing in the stream?”
I nodded. “Yes. She rarely can be tied down.”
“She has few manners. Is part dog,” Celeste snarled.
Rick defended Ingrid. “She”s just a child. The girls were nice and full of questions. I can tell you have four bright granddaughters, Your Majesty.”
“Bright is relative. Ask anyone about Alexandra’s maths scores.”
I flushed bright red.
“Oh, I’m so bad at math. I am sure she could smoke me.”
Celeste glared. I shot an encouraging look Rick’s way.
“Alexandra, I was wondering. Do you ride horses at all?”
“I do,” I beamed.
There was nothing I loved more.
“She doesn’t ride anymore,” Celeste said.
“Oh? Why not?”
“It’s not necessary. Risky. There are more suitable sports.”
“Do you miss it?” Rick asked, ignoring Celeste.
“Very much,” I replied. “I love riding. Grand-Mama says it is a bad idea for me given that I am… well, I’m the queen and I shouldn’t ride.”
“Kings rode into battle. I think you could manage a lazy stroll,” Rick chuckled. “I do not mean to overstep but I, myself, ride.”
“What do you do?” I asked.
“Polo.”
“Predictable,” I snickered.
“Guilty as charged. Is it possible we could go out? For a hack?”
I looked at Celeste. She scowled.
“It would be a good way to get to know one another,” I pointed out.
“Yes, if you take protection officers with you.” Her tone was less-than-enthusiastic.
“I will remain on my best behaviour and not encourage her to do anything silly,” Rick said. “Promise.”
“Well, that’s good. Your father would not like to hear otherwise,” Celeste muttered.
I was overjoyed and excited. Rick was trying.
Throughout dinner, I sat quietly and played with my food. I had little interest in talking about anything and eating like I was hungry would provoke anger. Rick held the conversation almost on his own. I knew anything I said would upset Celeste at this point. I didn’t want to make matters worse. I had made my point. I had won my argument. That is all there was.
“Are you not a fan of sea bass?” Rick asked.
“Oh, just not very hungry.” I lowered my fork gently.
“Is there something else you would rather eat?”
“No, honestly, Your Royal Highness, I’m quite well.”
“She doesn’t need to pack on the pounds, Rikard. Look at her!” Celeste laughed.
“I think she has a lovely figure,” Rick said. “I don’t know what you mean. People shouldn’t starve themselves. I’d rather see her happy than picking at things. Alexandra, is there something you’d rather have.”
He looked at me differently. Was this his genuine interest showing through?
“Dessert?” I asked. “We will have dessert?”
Celeste glared. The answer was yes. There would be dessert, but I would be required to pick at that as well. A good girl and prospective wife has a poor appetite. She makes herself smaller to appear more attractive. That was all Celeste had taught us.
“Chocolate soufflé. But if you don’t eat your dinner?—”
“Is she not a grown woman, Your Majesty?” Rick cut her off.
I fought a snicker.
“Can she not choose?” He doubled down. “I say bring her two.”
Rick was overstepping but I liked this side of him. He was wilful and we were both about to get in trouble.
I was brought two chocolate soufflés, of which I ate both. They were heavenly. I loved chocolate more than life, something he now knew. My grandmother watched in dismay. If she said anything, she’d frighten the plant she’d brought me. If she said nothing, I would hear about it after cake.
After dinner, we took a walk around the garden, followed closely by a guard.
“You’re really never alone, are you?”
I shook my head no.
“I’m sorry, Alexandra. That’s shitty. You’re grown up and she treats you like a child.”
“She’s dreadful.”
“I’m sorry,” Rick said. “Look, I don’t want to lead you on. I don’t know what I will do. I’ll get back to you, alright?”
“Okay. I know I’m not what you’d choose. You shouldn’t feel obligated?—”
“Let me figure out how I can help.”
“You don’t have to?—”
He placed his hands on my shoulders and met my gaze. “You don’t deserve this. You girls have grown on me. I know you are responsible for them. I love my family, too. I get what it is like to make sacrifices to save the ones you love. I can only admire you for it.”
I wanted him to stay—like this—giving me this look. I wanted him to pull me closer— unsure where that impulse came from. Rick pulled away.
“Now, let me figure out on my end what I can do.” He began to walk off.
“Thanks,” I said. “Rick?”
“Yes?” Rick turned, running his fingers through his blonde curls.
“I promise you that if you choose to do it, I will treat you with respect and give you space.”
He nodded. “I appreciate that, Alexandra.”
He disappeared into the darkness, heading back to the palace. I wanted him to say yes unequivocally. I hoped he would, anyway. I wanted to know if I would be free soon. I longed to tell my sisters the good news, but it would have to wait. I had to trust that Rick wasn’t the big asshole I assumed he was in the beginning.