Chapter 19
Rick was intent on finding any opportunity to kiss me. He couldn’t keep his hands to himself. While I was flattered and luxuriated in the way his lips met mine and how our tongues felt tangled together, I was clever enough to know this had something to do with the arrival of one new courtier.
Lord Jacques was a tall glass of water. He had hazel eyes, a brilliant smile, and dark brown hair. His eyes complimented his remarkable tan. I immediately thought of the man I had read about in one of Astrid’s tawdry novels. A man who was always shirtless and tanned but kept running into the heroine in the oddest ways. I wondered if he looked good with a shirt off. I suspected he would. Either way, he was far better than my previous Private Secretary who was nearly eighty. She was a sweet woman, but Lord Jacques was about the same age as Rick and much nicer to look at than Louise.
I was convinced Jacques wasn’t interested in me. We could keep it professional. Rick, meanwhile, was upset—even jealous. His ramped-up desire on full display was an act of claiming me. I hated it. I wasn’t a trophy to be won—even by the man who would marry me. Still, the kissing felt so good! I didn’t want it to end. The more we did, the more natural it was to wrap myself up in him and enjoy it.
As the pictures finished, we were assured that the best ones would be retouched and sent over by morning for our approval. The announcement would go out soon. I knew that Celeste would mastermind it all. She’d keep any of the beautiful ones of us kissing and lay it on thick far out of sight. Still, it was nice to know that somewhere they existed. We weren’t in love. We weren’t a real couple. We only played along well.
“You can calm down,” I said as Rick walked me to my side of the house. “He’s not going to edge into your territory. One man is enough, I can assure you.”
“You wouldn’t have two if you could do so no questions asked?”
I flushed.
“What, you wouldn’t want us both to cater to your every need?”
I was too flustered to answer. “Would you have two women?”
He grimaced.
I was appalled. “Don’t answer that, Rikard. Or as I should say, Prickard!”
“That’s great, actually,” he chuckled.
“Astrid came up with it.”
“Nice one. I will have you know I’m not jealous.”
“Uh-huh.”
We stopped at my door.
“Really, Alexandra. That’s not it!”
“Then explain it,” I said.
“I’m not. I just… I was overcome.”
“Uh-huh.” I wasn’t buying it.
As he turned, I sang the chorus of the Gin Blossoms “Hey Jealousy.”
Running his hand through his blonde curls, Rick asked, “What are you doing, Lex?”
I was surprised by his shortening of my name, though not opposed. I also wasn’t sure why this song wasn’t on his radar. Yes, it was a very old song, but it wasn’t completely unknown.
“The song. I’m giving you a hard time,” I said.
“How?”
“Hey, jealousy?”
“The words are ‘Hey, Chelsea!’ Aren’t they?”
I snickered. “God, no. Hey, Chelsea? Who is Chelsea?”
“How the fuck would I know, Alexandra?”
I shrugged. “You’re wrong. Look up the lyrics on your pocket oracle.”
He smiled and shook his head. “I should but I won’t.”
“You always want something but are never willing to do what you need to get it,” I said.
He moved closer in a way that made my body quake. I couldn’t explain why. I felt warmth in unmentionable places.
“I cannot help it if most things just come to me,” Rick said.
His hand grazed my cheek. He pulled my chin towards him.
“I usually get what I want. I am lucky to have people willing to do the work for me. And that includes women who are willing to do my bidding. Even if only to Google song lyrics.”
“Must be nice,” I said, pulling back a bit.
He put his other hand on the small of my back, drawing me in.
“What? What do you want, Alexandra, that you aren’t getting?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer. I wanted everything. I wanted him. I wanted this. It physically pained me now to be here, so close to my door, knowing I could not bring him in with me to do… well, I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do. But I knew it was something and I knew it involved the part of me that was presently tingly and warm. His hand made it further down the small of my back now onto my bum and I shuddered.
“What? Cat got your tongue?” Rick ran his thumb over the small cleft of my chin.
His finger was close to my mouth now. I had a sudden urge to bite his thumb. What was that about?
The closer we stood, the stronger the smell of his cologne and the harder his hand gripped my backside, I wanted more. I wanted all of him. That was what it was. I knew I shouldn’t want it. It was a terrible idea—and one that could end in bad consequences—but I wanted him to run me into the bedroom right now.
I had no words for what I wanted. So, I gave into the only sort of language that seemed to work for us both in these scenarios. I kissed him hard. He pressed me against the wall. I bit his lip. I don’t know what the impulse for biting was, but I was a woman unhinged. Rick responded by pushing me into the wall hard and running his hand down over my breast. It was the first time a man had ever even bothered to make mention of my breasts. I moaned. It was uncontrollable. Where were these impulses and noises coming from?
I didn’t know, but I wanted to do a lot more.