Chapter 37
Rick’s expression wasn’t one of excitement at the prospect of having a pure, virgin, unadulterated human. It was panicked. My entire life, I’d been told to prize purity above all else. Celeste ensured I remained white as the driven snow until my wedding day. No man in good standing wanted a woman who ran around. That was all I knew.
Rick looked concerned. We both went from 60 to 0 like an ancient Concorde on landing. Paranoia set in. Was he regretting his decision to marry me?
“I didn’t lie to you,” I said. “You never asked.”
“I expected it to come out sooner than this, Alexandra,” Rick said, astonished.
I tried to hide being upset, but I began to break down. My throat got that familiar itch. My lip quivered. Tears welled. I brought my legs to my chest. I wrapped my arms around them and buried my head in my knees, wanting to crawl into a hole and die.
“Oh, Lex, don’t cry, baby,” Rick inched closer. “I don’t want you to be upset with me.”
“You think I’m stupid. Ridiculous.”
“No, baby,” Rick said sweetly. “I’m… concerned because I don’t want the upper hand here. I don’t want some weird power dynamic.”
“Rick, I am telling you I want to have sex, but I need you to be patient with me—understanding.”
“I get that. And I would be. You can always tell me to stop. If it hurts, we stop. If something bothers you, we stop. That’s never in doubt. But I want you to feel some sort of agency.”
“Don’t men fantasise about this?”
“Some men. Not me,” Rick said. “It’s a kink I don’t get. I don’t prize virginity. I would much rather corrupt you as soon as possible because sex is fun. I’d love to fuck you, but I don’t want to feel like I am your everything.”
“What? Of course you are. You’re my bloody husband, Rick!”
He winced. “I just… you don’t feel like you’re going to miss out on something?”
“Do you?”
“I have experience, Lex. I do not doubt that we will have plenty of fun. I wouldn’t have committed to you if I had even a single doubt. Truth is, I’m a prick. I’m also a serial monogamist.”
I snickered. “You aren’t a prick.”
“I am, perhaps a reformed one?”
I looked up. He looked sweetly at me.
“I love you,” I said. “So much. And I want this. I’m also a bit frightened because… I have no idea what I am doing. And you might think I’m boring or disappointing?”
“Impossible! No. Right now, I am staring at you—mostly naked—and wishing I could devour you. You’re beautiful. I’ve been thinking that all day. And this? Fucking you? I’ve been thirsting for it since our engagement photos. Then behind the brook. Then in Lundhavn. And then last night? I couldn’t want you more!”
I blushed.
“What… you didn’t want it?”
“No, I did. I would have done it all with you before I found out your dirty little secret,” I grumbled. “I was going to do it. Then, I wanted to strangle you.”
Rick chuckled. “We had a lot of false starts.”
“Last night killed me. Yet another missed opportunity,” I groaned. “Even now.”
“It’s not. I was thoroughly enjoying you regardless of what happened,” Rick said. “Here’s an idea. Why don’t you get yourself off? I’ll watch.”
“What? Why would I do that?” I was bothered by his suggestion.
“Because I want you to show me so I can take care of you,” Rick said. “I want you to be comfortable. I want to please you.”
“But what good would that do? You won’t have fun.”
“I will have plenty of fun watching you,” Rick kissed my shoulder. “Trust me. I bet listening to you cum will make all the time I’ve spent in a tuxedo today worth it.”
Without my months of romance novel education, I wouldn”t have understood what he meant. The word “masturbation” was banished from my daily life. I’d been told it would send me to hell. I didn’t buy any of that.
“I don’t… know how.”
“Have you never had an orgasm?” Rick sat up tall, shaking his head in disbelief.
“No,” I winced. “Look, I don’t think this will work.”
I hopped out of bed, looking for my dressing gown. I was mortified. I didn’t want him to see me naked.
“No, no. Come back here, Lex. Please.” Rick patted the bed sweetly. “Come on. Just trust me. Do you?”
I shrugged and returned to bed. “What can you even do? I’m like beyond remedial.”
“It’s okay. You’re clever. You will catch up quickly. If my dance teaching skills are representative, I am an excellent educator.”
I blushed and lay down. “Fine.”
Rick leaned in and kissed me again. He cupped my breast, running his thumb over my nipple. It sent a tingle down my spine. I couldn’t control the involuntary movements my body made, nor could I stop the noises that came out of my mouth. It was primal. Mortification soon faded to pure bliss!
He ran his hand down my body again, playing with the sides of my knickers.
“Take these off,” he said.
I complied, nervous. What if he saw everything and ran away? I’d only recently discovered what my vulva looked like in any real way when I’d gone for a wax and had to confirm it all looked right. I’d lived twenty-two years in my body and felt disconnected from this part of myself.
Rick didn’t flinch. Instead, he ran his fingers between my wet folds. I’d been thinking about this since the night before. I gasped and pushed my head back into the pillows as he hit a spot that set me ablaze. It must have been my clitoris. Without the educational foundation laid by Astrid’s dirty books, I’d be out of my depth already. God, I wanted him to keep touching me!
Rick looked satisfied with himself. “You like that?”
I nodded, breathing shakily.
“You try,” Rick said.
“What?”
“Go ahead. I want to watch.”
The way he said it sent a chill down my spine in the best way. I found my way back to the core of my pleasure, rubbing gently first and picking up speed. I wasn’t sure where I was going. The more I did it, the wetter and wetter I became. I was high on this feeling!
“Here,” Rick pushed my hand aside for a moment.
He put two fingers inside me. I moaned as his fingers tickled me and shuddered in pleasure.
“Yeah?”
“Yes,” I answered. “God, what are you doing? It’s amazing!”
“It’s your g-spot. You can do the same,” he said.
Rick wanted me to try. By this point, we were both naked. I looked over to see he was touching himself at the same time. The hungry look he gave me—watching me watching him—made me even hornier. Having never seen an actual penis in the flesh before, I was relieved to see his was no disappointment. It was bizarre and spectacular.
I moved my fingers in and out, reaching that spot. My palm rubbed against my clit all the while. I panted now, feeling slightly sweaty. My face flushed as if on fire. I looked over at his dick, wondering what it would be like to have it inside me.
Thinking about it sent me on a journey. My body tensed as I got closer and closer. It was like I climbed the most glorious hill. With each stroke, I neared its peak. I felt tighter and tighter. Finally, the release washed over me as a whole-body experience. I twitched and fell back onto the bed, feeling like I had run a marathon. It was the most delicious thing I’d ever felt. I panted, waiting to come down. When I looked for Rick, he’d disappeared. Instead, I felt him part my legs. I looked to see him kissing my right thigh.
Rick played with my now-swollen clit. “You’re really wet.”
“Just… do it,” I pleaded. “I want you to have me.”
“I wish I could,” he chuckled. “But I’m spent. Watching you cum made me explode. You must wait a bit. Probably until tonight. Unlike you, I can’t get off back-to-back. That’s a superpower women possess that I don’t.”
I pouted.
“Oh, she wants to go again? Are you greedy now, Your Majesty?”
I giggled and playfully kicked my legs “I am a little greedy.”
“Good girl,” Rick kissed my thigh again.
He lowered his face until it was in between my legs, his tongue now on my clit.
I twitched. “Rick, is that even… good?”
He looked up. “It’s fucking beautiful, Lex. Do you not want me to do it?”
“No, it feels good. I don’t want to take advantage.”
“Why?” Rick asked. “I want to taste you. It’s my job to serve you, is it not? Am I not your very loyal husband?”
It was hot.
“Then do it,” I told him. “And don’t stop until you have succeeded in your mission.”
Rick chuckled. “Okay. She gets what she wants.”