Royally Rebellious: An arranged royal romance (Resplendent Royals Book 1)

Epilogue

The day I held Linnea for the first time was undoubtedly the best day of my young life. I was terrified, stuck with a horrifying labour that lasted nearly two days. I hadn’t eaten and was worn ragged. At one point, I asked Rick to put me out of my misery. He looked frightened then and begged a nurse to do something. She assured him this happened all the time. I loved my husband, but being cool under pressure in times like those was not his strong suit.

Linnea, despite her long progression into this world, came quickly once she finally put her mind to it. I pushed for all of ten minutes. Then, we heard her little screams. I was grateful to have her, but still feared my fate. I tried to preoccupy myself with her perfect face—and Rick’s chin—to boot while trying also not to panic that I was about to die from blood loss.

It wasn’t until they gave us a moment alone as a family that I calmed. Then, I could lie there with her sweet face pressed against my chest. She was the only thing in the world either one of us cared about. Rick was in love. I never saw him stare at anyone or anything with as much adoration as he did our little bundle of joy.

A year before if you told me the scoundrel who wandered into our home out of obligation would sit in a hospital room with me stroking our newborn’s little bald head so sweetly, I would have laughed. We weren’t perfect. Sometimes, he wanted to run for the hills. Sometimes, I wished he would. Mostly, we were happy.

In contrast, Linnea was pure perfection, borne of the strangest love imaginable, and free of any blame. We named her Linnea Karolina after my late mother and my angelic mother-in-law. Settling back home for the first night with her, we relied on the care of our staff. Karolina also pitched in, arriving in the final weeks leading up to the birth to hold my nervous hand.

“I am glad she is a girl.” Rick burped the baby.

“Why is that?” I asked.

“I have become accustomed to being overrun by women and I find it less unnerving and more character-building,” Rick admitted.

The baby let out a loud belch.

“She’s powerful!” Karolina giggled.

“Why is she so gross?” Ingrid grumbled.

“Ingy! Don’t be mean!” Odette said.

“I am not. She made an inconceivably loud rude noise! All she’s done since arriving home is pass gas out both ends, vomit on Rick’s shoulder, and shit herself!”

I laughed. “Ingy, language. But you are correct. Babies are a bit grotesque. They cannot help it. They’re only babies.”

“She’s good to go. Who wants her?” Rick asked.

There were open arms all around. Everyone but Astrid fought to hold her. She was a bit nervy. Things with her had been hard lately. She’d been holding something back.

“Asti, I insist,” Rick said. “I will be personally offended if you do not hold my amazing child. She’s perfect. You cannot dispute it.”

The little girls giggled. Astrid rolled her eyes.

“No one needs me to hold this baby. You have a staff?—”

“She needs you, Asti,” I said. “She must know her aunt is there for her. Trust me, when she grows up, she will lean on you. At least, that is my hope. And I need you, too.”

Astrid looked at me, almost tearful. “Okay. Come here.”

Rick showed her how to support the baby’s head like he had been doing this his entire life. My heart swelled. Part of me already wanted another. The logical side of me said to wait a couple of years. Still, he was so lovely with her. My ovaries were working overtime now.

“Why don’t we go make some cocoa?” Karolina asked. “That would be nice, right, girls?”

“Yes, please!” Odette declared.

Ingrid hopped up to follow.

“I’m going to go make sure everything is ready for her in the nursery if we ever get her to bed.” Rick sensed Astrid and I could use some time.

Rick had become good at reading the room. He never wanted to insert himself or make things harder on Astrid and me, but things were forever changed. He was mine; I was his. No matter what Astrid and I had said to one another the day before my wedding, everything changed. The closer Rick and I grew, the more we relied on one another. The emotional support I needed from Astrid was now granted by Rick. In that, Astrid had probably lost my support. I felt guilty sometimes.

“She’s a nice baby,” Astrid said. “Well, as far as babies go. I am not sure what a not-nice baby is. The problem is she looks like Rick.”

I snickered. “Yeah, but he is devilishly handsome, so hopefully she will be a more feminine version of him. Oh, she’s so sweet, though. Isn’t she?”

“She is,” Astrid said.

“Asti, I don’t want you to think about this like it’s us versus you. I know you feel that way, but… it’s not. Rick and I love you. Rick cares for you very much. We both feel strongly that this baby will have a wonderful aunt in you. I’ve been waiting to see this.”

Astrid teared. “I don’t want to make you feel bad for choosing him. He’s your husband. And I don’t want you to think I don’t like him. I do. He may have begun as Prickard. You’re still too clever for him, but he has several redeeming qualities. He has been good to all of us.”

“He has been, yes.”

“And he’s doing a bang-up job here. He seems to know what he’s on about.”

“I think he does.”

“I thought he was making up all that stuff he was reading. Then, I found the stack of books in the sitting room.”

I giggled. “He put so much effort in.”

“What a fucking nerd!”

We laughed together. The baby startled and fell back to sleep. I reached over and put my finger in her hand. She grabbed it instinctively.

“You must do this,” I said. “It’s the sweetest reflex.”

Astrid tried, giggling. “That’s amazing.”

“Babies are wonderful creatures.”

“Not for me,” Astrid shook her head.

I cocked my head. “Not ever?”

“Maybe. I dunno. I must find a guy first. Or, at least, I must give one a chance.”

“Oh? Am I missing something?”

Astrid looked at Linnea and back at me. “Um, I’ve been talking to that Tim guy. I went to see Riot Elephant again.”

“Oh, did you?”

“I am thinking about moving to the UK—not for him. For school. I have a lead on a place to stay. Some other nepobabies like us have a house in Shalestone and… well, I’d be closer to London. It sounds amazing by all rights.”

“So I learned when I was there,” I admitted. “London is a lovely city.”

“I only feel bad leaving because… the baby.”

“Well, you wouldn’t be leaving immediately?—”

“In a couple months. I applied and got into Shalebrook,” Astrid said. “To their politics MSc. I… I don’t know. I’d be leaving you and the baby.”

Her words wounded me. I tried not to show it. Deep down, this is what I always suspected. She could leave. She should leave. I’d always said I wanted that for the girls. Now, it stared me in the face. As she held Linny, emotions rushed over me. Tears welled, then rolled, and I couldn’t hold back.

“Oh, Alex, no,” Astrid said. “Well, that sorts it. I won’t go?—”

I shook my head. “You must go! I didn’t do all of this for us for you to suffer here. I mean, don’t go chasing after the frontman of a mediocre band.”

She laughed. “Okay, they aren’t the best, but they’re alright.”

“Don’t do it. But go, get an education. You are the clever one. You should go to Shalebrook and debate and live your dreams, sister. Astrid, I love you. Yes, it hurts to think of a day when I won’t have you right here. Yes, I am sure we will miss you like mad. And yes you will miss some things with Linnea, but… she is going to need an aunt who is ready to take over the world someday. And without Celeste around, the sky’s the limit!”

Astrid was in tears. “I can’t promise that, Alex.”

“Well, you stand a better chance if you go, right?”

She shrugged and put her finger back in Linnea’s hand.

“She’s beautiful, Alex.”

“She is. You’ll have to soak up as much time with her as you can now. I will allow you to be the most selfish of all of them. But I want you to go.”

“Really?”

“Rick and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Okay. But… you are sure?—”

“I insist. It’s complicated, but you must!”

“It’s hard to remind myself I can go and do things. Impossible sometimes!”

I related. Celeste was gone for many months now. Things were better. Even her courtiers changed their tune to keep their jobs. They turned on her in the end. She hadn’t yet met the baby. I was still prickly about that. Even without her here, the shadow loomed large, but we had freedom.

“I get it,” I agreed. “Asti, you are the future. I am here. I must stay and be a mother. I must be queen and lead from here. But you? You were always meant to be brave and spread your wings. If you stay here, you’ll be bored and miserable. Go! I want you to be wild and set an example for the little girls. I want them to know they can be anything.”

“You sound like a mother,” Asti said.

I looked adoringly at Linnea. “I am.”

Rick returned. “Ah, she’s fine now.”

“I got the hang of it,” Astrid admitted. “Your spawn looks just like you.”

“Obviously,” Rick said. “Strong genes.”

“Well, here, strong man. Take her back. I’m going to go help them with whatever it is they are doing.”

Astrid handed the baby to Rick. He sat next to me. I lay my head on his shoulder, staring down at Linnea as she dreamt of whatever it was babies dreamt of. Probably comfy blankets and boobs? What else did they enjoy?

“Astrid is moving to the UK,” I murmured.

“What?”

“To go to Shalebrook,” I elaborated. “An MSc in politics.”

“Damn. Good for her!” Then, his tone changed. “How do you feel about that, Lex?”

“It’s bittersweet. I’m a ball of hormones, so I cried. I will miss her to bits, Rick.”

“I know, baby.”

“She must go. That’s what she needs, and I will adjust.”

“You always wanted them to be happy, my love.”

“I did,” I agreed. “I did. She needs this. If I keep her here, she will resent me—and you. She feels out of place. It’s time for her to make her own happiness as I did mine.”

“I thought we were forced into a loveless marriage?” Rick joked.

“Well, initially, but… that’s not what I feel today.”

“What do you feel?” Rick asked, wrapping his arm around me.

“Like I want half a dozen of these,” I said. “And that I never want her to grow up.”

Rick kissed my forehead. “I can promise you that neither one of those things will come to fruition, but I love you all the same, Alexandra.”

“At least two more?”

“One,” Rick laughed.

“Two,” I said. “Three is good. Could be four. Four girls?”

“I had four girls in a house. I don’t need eight.”

“Well, with Astrid gone, it will only be seven,” I pointed out.

Rick chuckled. “Three—eventually. Three is fine. No more. She is addictive.”

I sighed. “Yes. She’s the product of a well-matched pair of parents who are the most surprised of all.”

“Well, mission accomplished?” Rick asked.

“Mission to be continued,” I said. “Again, I’m not anywhere near done with my plotting. There is much more to be said about things here.”

Rick rubbed my arm. “Okay, well, as your henchman—your desperately tired henchman—I am begging for you to have mercy on me before we start on our next scheme, Alexandra. I am the old one.”

“Well, keep up,” I said. “If you know me, it will be a wild ride.”