Ruckus (Dirty Soul MC: Long Beach #3)

Chapter 5

I ’m here again, standing at the back, watching, waiting, needing to see something. Anything, that tells me I’m right.

The second I get a hint that tells me she’s in trouble, I swear I’m gonna swoop in and fucking take her.

The music starts up the same way it did when I watched this performance last time, and I fidget with unease as the curtain pulls back and she steps out. Her arm raises high as the crowd cheers, but her other hand supports her side and her smile isn’t there like it was the time before. Her eyes scan around her like she’s paranoid about something and as she steps forward into better light, I see fuckin’ why.

“Holy shit,” I whisper to myself as I head down the steps to get a closer look. She may have make up on but it doesn’t mask the state her face is in. Me and Wrath should never have left her here, and when I hear the rev of that fucker’s bike drowning out the music, my feet start to move. I climb over the barrier into the ring and the music beats to the thudding of my heart as I march up behind him. I grip the asshole by his scruff as he slowly enters the sphere, ripping him off his saddle and dragging him to the floor. The music cuts, some gasps come from the crowd, and when I feel the weight of two bodies come at me from behind I spin around and unleash fucking hell so I can get back to what I came in here to do.

“Ruckus.” I hear Freya’s voice call out to me over the chaos, and after I’ve put all three of Drew’s buddies on their asses, I turn and look toward him. He’s back on his feet, standing in the middle of the ring with his helmet off and as I march closer, he backs him up so he’s wedged between me and the sphere. She races to stand beside me and takes hold of the arm I'm using to pin him up by his throat.

“Ruckus, think about this, there are hundreds of people here,” she whispers.

“He do that to your face?” I turn my attention away from him to ask her, and see that the damage is far worse than I thought.

“Ruckus, you need to leave… pleas?—”

“Did he do that to you?” I repeat, louder. There’s an uncontrollable wave of fury rushing through my blood and it’s gonna unleash. She doesn’t answer me, just closes her eyes and I slowly turn my head back to look at him.

“You son of bitch.” I lose my head and slam my fist into his face, over and over. The cage around the sphere rattles, his blood sprays over my face and drips over my knuckles and when his limp, useless body slumps to the floor, I grip the front of his overalls, lift him up, and continue to punch the shit out of him.

The crowd is silent now, no doubt horrified as they watch, but I keep on going, even when the ground beneath us starts to get sticky from his blood.

“Ruckus, stop, you’re going to kill him.” Freya’s screaming at me, gripping at me and trying to drag me away.

“That’s the fuckin’ plan.” I let him hit the ground and stomp on his ribs, making sure the air leaves his body.

“Ruckus, no… Please. You can’t. Ruckus. You're scaring me.” Her words make me stop and as I catch my breath I turn around to her.

“I’m scaring you?” I look at the mess he’s made of her face, then lower my eyes to him. He’s alive, barely, but his face is mashed the fuck up.

Freya looks around the ring, reminding me that I have an audience. “Ruckus, you need to leave,” she whispers. “Someone here will have already called the pol?—”

“Come with me,” I interrupt her, reaching out my bloody hand for her to take.

She stares at it in a trance.

“Freya, come with me,” I say it again, scared to what lengths I’d be prepared to go to if she refuses. This girl is a hazard to herself. She’s not safe here. At least at the club I can protect her and I need her to let me do that.

“I can’t.” She shakes her head, looking scared.

“Freya,” I reach out and grab the top of her arms. “If you don’t come with me, I’m gonna kill him. I don’t care about who watches. I don’t care about going to jail. I’ll end him,” I warn her, and it ain’t an empty threat.

“I can’t come back to the club, Ruckus. I’m too scared,” she admits.

“Scared? Scared of what?” I know time is running out, word will have gotten around by now, and if the police don’t get here, those men who were at the gate earlier sure will. Not that they will change anything, it just means more fighting.

“I can’t go back… Dad, he…”

“Your dad is dead, Freya. Wrath told you that. Raze is president now, your brother is VP. You don’t fucking belong here.” I leave bloody fingerprints on her skin as I shake her in frustration.

“I… I…” She shakes her head, looking unsure and so fuckin’ scared that my primal instinct takes over. I raise my hand and stroke it over her bruised cheek, focusing on her swollen, split lip. “I’m sorry, but I’m takin’ you with me,” I warn before I kiss her, right in the center of the ring for everyone to see. She remains static, and when I pull away, I give her no time to argue, heaving her up and over my shoulder. I carry her back out the way I came and as I make my way outside, two guys rush toward me.

“I’d head back in the direction you came from,” I tell them both, and when they see the blood on my hands they stand still and let me pass right by ‘em. The ticket seller does nothing, just leans his head out of his booth and watches me carry her to where my bike is.

“Ruckus, stop, just think about this.” I place her on her feet and hate that his blood is on her skin from where I’ve touched her.

“You need to be the one who thinks. You’ve been letting that prick beat you. That’s not the girl I knew,” I remind her.

“I can’t go back to the club, please don’t make me,” she begs, and I can see from how fast she’s breathing that she’s starting to freak out on me.

“Fine, I won’t take you back to the club. But you're still coming with me.”

“Going where?” she asks with a bewildered, scared, and slightly hopeful look in her eyes.

“Back to my place,” I tell her as I sit on my saddle.

“You want me to—you want me to ride on the back?” she whispers as if it’s some kinda sin.

“Well I sure as hell don’t want you riding in the front.” I snigger, looking past her shoulder and seeing an army of men is coming toward us.

“Just get the fuck on, Freya.” I start my engine and wait for her to clamber on the back, before pulling the throttle and heading toward home.

I have to ignore how good it feels to have her clinging to my waist. Instead, I focus on the fact I should have ended that prick in the middle of his circus. Freya was right, there would have been far too many witnesses there for me to get away with it, but the thought of him still breathing is making me want to go back and end what I started.

But first I need answers. I need to know why the sassiest, most stubborn girl I’ve ever known has put up with being treated this way. Freya Adams would never have let a man look at her disrespectfully, let alone hit her. When we get to the gym, I cut my engine and wait for her to climb off behind me.

“This is where you live?” She looks up at the warehouse the club has converted. “Of course it is.” She shakes her head and laughs when she sees the gym sign.

“Ruck, I’m so glad you're back.” Corey comes rushing out the door, and I guess you know a kid’s seen far too many females in his life when he pays no attention to the girl in the sequin leotard and fancy headdress standing beside me.

“Burlusconi’s sister’s here, she keeps asking me to help her with her stre — Jesus, what went down tonight?” He stops himself mid-sentence when he sees I’m covered in blood.

“Nothing for you to worry about, get back to Burlusconi’s sister.” I gesture my head to the door.

“I can’t. She’s…Well you know how she is.” He looks at Freya and smiles awkwardly.

“Just grow a fuckin’ pair and help her out.” I barge past him.

“Ruck—”

“Get back to work,” I shout out, opening the door and leading Freya straight up the stairs to my apartment. Once we’re inside, I pull the blinds down over the glass windows that look over the gym floor, and head for my chest of drawers.

“It’s spacious.” She looks around the large room that acts as a kitchen, living room, and a bedroom while I take out some sweatpants and a T-shirt for her.

“Put these on, that costume’s distracting. You can clean yourself off in the shower.” I open the bathroom door so she know where it is.

“You need a shower more than I do.” She looks me over and I shake my head.

“Just…” I point my head to the door and urge her to go through it.

Freya doesn’t argue like she would have before, she just smiles sadly and does as she’s told.

I sit on the edge of my bed once she closes the door, resting my elbows on my knees and exhaling with relief.

What are you doin’, Ruckus? What the fuck are you doin’?”

I could have taken her anywhere, to Wrath’s houseboat, to a hotel, but instead I brought her here… and put her in my clothes. Bad i-fuckin’-dea.

Freya ran away, she would have done it for a reason, dragging her back here ain’t gonna change that reason. Even if it did, what does it matter? She’s still Wrath’s sister. Our one night together should never have fuckin’ happened.

When the door eventually opens I quickly get back on my feet and as I shove my hands in my back pockets I realize that I’m fuckin’ nervous. She smiles at me as she steps back into the room, and seeing her in clothes that belong to me makes me wanna kiss her again.

“That’s better… you look…” I don’t finish my sentence, instead I shake my head and move past her. I need to wash that abusive cunt’s blood off my hands.

“I didn’t need you to do that tonight, you know.” She follows me and leans against the bathroom door frame. Infuriating me even more. “I had it handled.”

“Handled?” I look at her in shock. “ Handled?! ” I raise my voice as I drag her to stand in front of me. Forcing her to look in the mirror. “Does that look handled to you?” I slam my wet palm into the reflection in rage. “Fuck, Freya, for once in your stubborn life, be honest with yourself.” She closes her eyes as I yell at her, and I force myself away, sit my ass on the edge of the bathtub, and bury my head in my still soaked hands. The silence seems to go on forever, and the questions swirling around my head are making me dizzy.

“How long?” I tap my foot against the floor, trying to tamp down my rage.

“A few years,” she admits quietly.

“Years?” I feel the imaginary knife that's wedged inside my chest twist.

“How do you let something like that go on for years?” Standing up, I grab at her shoulders and force her to spin around and look at me.

“Don’t touch me.” She shoves me away, storming back through to the bedroom and wiping the tears from her eyes.

“I never asked you to come back tonight, Ruckus, I didn’t ask you to save me.” She pulls the sleeves of my sweater up her arms as she puts on a brave face and turns back to face me with it.

“Yes you did.” I scowl at her. “I saw that look you gave me through that window, you were begging me to fuckin’ save you. So that's what I did. I came back and I saved you.”

“So why didn’t you save me two years ago, in Palm Springs?” she asks cleverly, knocking me completely off guard.

“I… I don’t know what you're talking about.” I decide to deny all fuckin’ knowledge.

“That's horse shit and you know it. You were there, Ruckus, I found your coin the next day.”

I have no defense, so I just stay quiet, waiting for her to tell me why my being in Palm Springs is relevant to now.

“So why now, why not then?” She keeps going at me.

“Because you looked happy!” I yell at her in frustration. How could I have got it all so wrong?

“And what now? You expect me to just pick up where I left off here? What about us and what happ…”

“There ain’t an us, there never can be,” I snap at her, realizing just how stupid all this is. Yes, I have this undeniable urge to keep her safe. I’ve thought about her every fuckin’ day since we’ve been apart but that’s as far as I can ever let it go.

“So what about that kiss?” She folds her arms judgingly.

“The kiss was a mistake. It was in the moment, and I needed to do something to make you see sense.” I can feel the heat creeping up my neck and I have to scratch it.

“And that night in the motel room, was that a mistake too…” She steps closer to me and I look down at the floor.

“Yeah.” I lift my eyes up from the ground to hers and she greets me with a sting from her palm.

“You asshole.” She starts heading for the stairs.

“Well hello, Miss Freya fuckin’ Adams, good to see you again,” I call out after her, stroking the side of my face where she struck me. It makes her turn around and when I notice the smile she’s wearing, it draws one outta me too. I don’t know what happened to turn her so weak, but it didn’t take me long to trigger that spark inside her again.

“And if I remember right, you were the one that couldn’t wait to cut and run the next morning. You regretted what happened so bad you upped and fucking left to join the circus.”

“Is that what you think?” She starts coming back toward me. “Ruckus, that was me saving your ass.” She points her finger at me. “Do you know what my daddy would have done to you if he’d found out you defiled his precious little girl?” She’s dangerously close to me now, close enough to kiss again.

“Cliff was never gonna find out,” I assure her. I didn’t want it confirmed that she left because of me, it makes all that happened to her since, my fuckin’ fault.

“So you don’t think there would have been more mistakes if I’d have stayed…? Come on, Ruckus, I may not have had much experience back then, but I was there that night too and I felt what we had.”

Resisting the urge to take those lips is getting harder.

“Well if you were lookin’ to go round two, you went a real stupid assed way about it, Princess.” I laugh, refusing to back down.

“Laugh all you want, but we both know me leaving hurt you. What makes you think me being back here is going to make that any better?” She looks up at me, and I have to give it to the girl, she has a point, I just ain’t gonna admit it.

“You can’t hurt a man like me, Freya. I brought you back because Wrath needs you, and given the state we found you in, I’d say you need him too.” I feel like an asshole when that fiery girl who just came back to me shrinks back inside herself. “He’s blaming himself for what happened to Willow, and I won’t have him blame himself for what was happening to you.” I cop out because what I’m telling her may be the truth, but it ain’t the whole of it.

“What happened to me was no one’s fault but my own. I was twenty years old when I left with Drew. A woman, not a child.”

“A woman because I made you one.” I glance down my nose at her body, wondering if she ever liked the way he touched her. She sure as hell liked it when I did.

“Maybe so, but like you said, that was a mistake.”

One of us needs to take a step back, being this close is gonna result in something happening. I decide to be that person.

“Like I told you before, the club’s changed. Raze is a good leader, and we’re working to fix all the shit Cliff ruined.” I remember what she said about being scared to come back here and put her mind at ease as I make some space between us.

“And is that why you really came back for me? Am I just more of the shit that needs fixing?” I can’t decide if the laugh she makes is angry or sad but it makes me wonder what she’s fuckin’ afraid of.

“No, Freya, you're here because whether you wanna admit it or not, your life is a mess. I may have saved you tonight, but only you can fix that.” She looks hurt as I grab myself some clean clothes and head for the door. “You can take my bed, get yourself some sleep,” I tell her before I open it.

“Where are you going?” she asks, suddenly looking disappointed.

“To give you some space. I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” I head out and down the stairs toward the locker room before I do anything stupid… Like kiss her again.