Ruckus (Dirty Soul MC: Long Beach #3)

Chapter 30

R onnie Wilkins is dead, but my best friend didn’t get what he came here for. I realize now, that deep down Wrath was holding on to the hope that his father was lying. I help him on to his feet, and turn to Raze. He’s looking every bit as shocked as everyone else, and still holding on to the kid who’s shaking like a shitting dog.

“What’s the plan, Prez?” I ask, we came her expecting a fight, what we got was a truce, and I know Wrath won’t be feeling all too happy about that right now, but I have to admit I’m a little relieved. Reapers have other charters scattered all over the country, they have decent numbers. Killing the men here would have only been the first battle.

‘Vike?” Raze looks to Saul’s best friend, who slowly steps past the others to get to us.

“On your knees.” He tells the man I had to pass over to Dev when Wrath lost it. The man who shot his best friend and our brother.

Dev helps him by pressing his foot into the back of his knees and I watch the man breathe heavily and fearfully through his nostrils as Vike takes out his knife. Sweat pours from his forehead as he presses the blade against his throat, and he makes the whiniest, most pathetic last sound I ever heard before Vike slices him open.

Blood spurts everywhere, and the boy in Raze’s grip wriggles to get free as Vike turns his attention to him.

“How old are you?” Vike asks him, sounding perfectly calm.

“Fiffff… fiftteen, sir.” A dark patch forms on the front of his jeans, that spreads wider as Vike gets closer.

“You gotta learner’s permit?” He looks down at the kids piss stained denim and laughs. Taking out a cigarette, lighting it up and inhaling deep. The kid nods his head and when Raze gestures for him to show us he puts his hand in his back pocket and shakily pulls out his wallet.

“Ethan Jeffries.” Vike reads the name on it out loud, before he hands it back to him.

“You know Ethan, this club has rules, no women…” He looks over his shoulder to Ronnie before his eyes fix back on Raze. “And no kids.” He gives our prez the confirmation he needs. “You're just a kid, but you sure look as if you're acting like a man to me.”

“Sir, I was… I was just doin’ what I was told. Ronn?—”

“Take the cut off.” Vike nods at the boy’s prospect cut, and he gets straight to work, shrugging it off his shoulders. “Now, throw it in the dirt.” He orders, and we all watch on, as he throws it down.

“Now when my president lets go of your arm, you're gonna run. You're gonna run fast, and far away from here. You’re gonna do that, because in three years’ time that club rule we got won’t protect you anymore. Rest assured that I’ma look you up, Ethan Jeffries, and if I don’t see that you’ve done something good with your life, I’ma come for ya and I’m gonna end it.” He nods his head to Raze, who releases him, and the boy takes off without looking back.

“Josh.” Raze looks to Freya’s friend, who's still standing in a state of shock like a fish outtafuckin’ water. “Load these into the cage, we’ll get ‘em disposed of.

Come on…let’s go home.” He taps Wrath hard on the back before saddling his bike and leading us back to Long Beach.

I look around the barroom for Freya as soon as we get back, but there's no sign of her. Wrath is a mess, there's no way I can break the news to him about me and her while he’s like this, and when I ask the girls where it is that Freya got to, none of them seem to know.

A lot of the brothers are leaving to head back to their charters, and I busy myself by slipping into Wrath’s role and assisting Raze in seeing’ ‘em off. I know Wrath will heal, I’ll make damn sure of it. He just needs time, he’s spent all the time since his sister’s been gone, focusing on getting revenge, he hasn’t grieved her yet. I know that it’s gonna hit him hard, because it’s how it hit me after Mom died, and I never did get my revenge.

I head up to Freya’s motel room and try her door, but there’s no answer, and I’m starting to get real fuckin’ sick of being ignored. We need to talk about last night and our future. I need her to know that nothing she could tell me would change how I feel about her, I just want to know what her problems are so I can fix ‘em.

I rush back down the stairs, back into the clubhouse, and when I see Freya coming out of our meeting room with Wrath and Cam, my mouth drops open when I see that he’s holding her hand in his.

Freya looks up at me guiltily, pleading me with her eyes not to start somethin’ and while Cam grins wide and kisses her on her cheek I wonder how the fuck she expects me not to react.

“What’s goin’ on here?” I frown at all three of them.

“Looks like you're relieved of your duties,” Cam tells me, looking as if he just won the lottery. “I’m taking this one home with me.” His arm wraps around my girl’s neck, tucking her tight against his chest and she looks at me and shakes her head, begging me not to say anything.

Is she fuckin’ crazy?

“You ain’t taking her nowhere.” I laugh, wondering if this is some kinda joke.

“Ruckus.” Freya says my name, looking more panicked by the second.

“No, you're mine.” My words silence the room, and when Wrath pulls himself out of his daze and looks at me in a state of confusion, I realize that I can’t do this to him now. “I mean, you’re my responsibility. I’m supposed to be takin’ care of you,” I correct myself.

“Well, I guess you owe this guy a drink.” Wrath grunts, looking dead inside as he heads back to Eden, and everyone else quickly goes back to their own business.

Freya excuses herself from Cam and steps toward me, pulling me over to a corner where it’s a little quieter.

“Wanna tell me what this bull shit is?” I whisper, peering over her shoulder and seeing Cam at the bar with Wrath and Raze. He’s watching us closely like I’m the one steppin’ outta fuckin’ line here.

“I need a new start,” she tells me softly.

“What? Freya, I was givin’ ya one. We just had a fight, it was nothin’.” I try as hard as I can not to draw attention to us, but it’s damn near impossible.

“Well, it was something to me. I don’t wanna be back here, Ruckus. I never did. I only came with you that night because you would have killed Drew if I didn’t.”

“So, you're going to Arizona with him?” I look over at Cam again. Sure, I get what the appeal is, he’s always been one of the good guys, but she can’t feel about him the way she does me. What we have has been there since the day we first met, it’s driven us crazy because we're powerless to it. She can’t have that with him.

“I’ve always liked Cam, he’s a good person and I know he can take care of me.” She sounds as if she’s trying to convince herself more than she is me.

“Freya, I can take care of you.” I lower my voice into a growl and grip her arm.

“Don’t.” She shakes her head, looking as if she’s gonna cry. “Just let me go.”

“Hell am I gonna let you fuckin’ go, Freya, I’m in love with you,” I say the words so quietly even I can barely hear ‘em.

“I don’t love you, Ruckus, I tried to. But I don’t want it enough.”

Her words knock everything outta me at once and suddenly I feel empty.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t hurt Aaron, or stay here for something that's not real.” I hear what she’s saying and feel like I’m drowning in it.

“You think you leavin’ isn’t gonna hurt Aaron? He just got you back.” I clutch at anything I can to make her see sense.

“We just spoke to him, and he’s fine with it. Figures I’m much safer in Arizona, anyway.” She smiles. She fuckin’ smiles at me and I swear I could grab her up and crush her in my hands.

“Please… don’t do this.” I hear myself begging her. “Or at least just stay a few more days to think about this. If you still wanna go, I’ll drive ya to Arizona myself.” I don’t even sound like myself anymore, I sound like a desperate man.

“You're not gonna change my mind, Ruckus. I… I wanna be with Cam.”

Her words shatter me, and all I can do is nod as I feel the shards cut through my skin.

“Don’t let me stand in your way.” I move to the side and stare at the wall as she walks past me and steps back over to the bar to be with Cam and her brother.

“There ya are.” Wrath finds me half an hour later, and when sits himself on the table bench beside me I wanna punch him for allowing this to happen.

“Why are you letting her go, Wrath?” I ask, unable to keep the hurt out of my voice.

“Because it’s what's best for her. She always had a thing for Cam, and you saw the way he used to run around after her. I don’t want to lose another sister, and I know he’ll take care of her.”

“ I was taking care of her.” I remind him, clenching my fists.

“Why the fuck are you actin’ so cut up about this Ruck? You never liked her, she was always pissin’ you off, and now you don’t have to look out for her anymore. She’s someone else's problem.” I hate hearing him talk about her like that, and I hate what he’s saying. I don’t want Freya to be someone else's problem. She’s my fuckin’ problem.

“Even if I didn't want her to leave, I could never make her stay. It’s selfish.” He grips his hands together between his knees. “Arizona ain’t that far away, me and Eden can keep in touch and she’ll be happy there.” Wrath sounds tired and defeated, it explains why he’s making such stupid decisions.

“You really think this is what she wants?” I check, because she sure didn’t look happy to me.

“It’s what she says she wants, and after all we’ve lost, I ain’t ever gonna stand in the way of her being happy.”

“Wrath, you're gonna be okay. Time heals and I know it won’t bring Willow back bu–”

“Guys, Cam and the boys are leaving, are you gonna come say goodbye to Freya?” Eden interrupts us, and Wrath nods back at her as he gets back up.

“You comin’?” He looks at me, almost as if he can sense how much I’m hurting. I should stay here, I don’t need to see her leave with him, I’m feeling enough pain as it is, but I stand up and follow him, because I ain’t gonna let her leave here without looking her in the eye and making sure she knows that for me, everything was fuckin’ real.

When we get to the parking lot and I see her on the back of his bike it takes every scrap of self control I have not to rip her right off it. Maybe I got it wrong, maybe she really does hate me and all this was one big game.

Wrath and Eden both hug her goodbye, while I hang back and watch, waiting for her eyes to make contact with mine. Cam starts his engine, looking so fuckin’ proud to have his pretty old lady on his saddle as he twists his neck to kiss her, and when he’s done her eyes come straight to me. I ain’t prepared for how bad it hurts to look inside ‘em and when she mouths the word, sorry, at me I watch those eyes fill with tears as the president of Arizona rides out of here with my girl.