Ruckus (Dirty Soul MC: Long Beach #3)

Chapter 37

Five Years Ago

I wake up when I feel my mattress dip and when a hand slides around my waist, it feels as if a thousand spiders are crawling over my skin.

“Daddy’s home, princess,” he whispers in my ear and I keep my eyes closed, hoping that he’ll go away.

“Aren’t you gonna ask how the run went today?” His body is pressed tight behind mine and I can feel his cock prodding into my back. It makes me feel sick.

“H—How did it go?” I hear the fear in my voice because up to recently, I’ve convinced myself that he wouldn’t touch me like he touched them, but now I’m not so sure.

“It went as well as it could have, we sure coulda done without worryin’ about the damage control.”

“Damage control?” I turn my head to look at him.

“There was an accident on the road, Davy didn’t make it, baby.” He forces my head to turn away from him again, then delicately strokes my face. “I expect that makes ya sad, considerin’ how close the two of you got, lately.” My stomach turns ice cold when I realize what he’s saying.

“Dad, I…”

“Shhhh, it’s okay, it’s okay.” He leans over me and whispers into my ear. “Everyone makes mistakes, that's how we learn.” His soft touch turns rough as he grips my hair and forces me face first into my pillow. I struggle because I can’t breathe and the weight of his body pins me down as he climbs on top of me.

“If you ever speak to anyone about our private business again, I will give you to Verretti and let him sell you as a fuck toy,” he growls into the back of my head as I thrash and fight against the mattress and just when I feel myself start to go light-headed, he lifts my head so I can take a breath, then spins me around.

“Use that pretty, little mouth for the purpose it was intended.” Pinning my wrists to the mattress, he lingers over me. “Today…that pretty, little mouth got someone killed.” I gasp when he forces his tongue between my lips, rolling it inside me as I gag and try to get free from under him.

“Don’t try and fight me, Freya, you’re always gonna be the loser.” He laughs as he stands up from the bed and strides back out into the hall.

I jump when I feel something grab me, and I hear myself continuing to gag and choke. The mattress trembles beneath me as I fight against his strong hold, but this time I can breathe and I don’t feel his weight on top of me.

The grip on my arm gets tighter and more desperate, pinching and clawing at my skin. It’s making me sticky and when I open my eyes, what I see makes me panic.

“Cam!” Dark, red blood covers his hand as he clutches at me with it, and when I look up his arm, I see that the choking and gagging is coming from him. There's a deep cut in the side of his neck that's spilling blood out over his pillow, and his eyes are wild and desperate as more blood pours from his mouth.

“Cam.” I press my hand over the wound and feel it pulsing against my palm as his skin pales and his pupils get bigger.

“Cam, shit!” My hand slips off him as the sheets beneath me grow redder and I realise I can’t save him. There's too much blood, too much for him to possibly survive, and when his grip on me goes limp and his scared eyes turn empty, I don’t know why but I start to cry. This man doesn’t deserve my tears. I should be relieved that he’s dead. Maybe it’s shock… or maybe I’m still dreaming. I’ve thought a lot lately about how Ruckus would kill him but never has it been like this.

A low, gravelly laugh comes from the corner of the room behind me, and I realise that I’m not alone.

Cam’s killer is still in the room, and when I slowly turn around, I can’t believe who it is that I see.

“Josh!” I gasp when I see the knife in his hand, dripping with Cam’s blood.

“You really need to make up your mind about who you want to be with.” He shakes his head and stares at Cam’s body coldly.

“Josh, did you do this?” I look between them both, trying to make sense of what's happening.

“You’re such a pretty, little head fuck.” He laughs again as he steps closer to the bed. “All those pitiful looks you used to give me, and the cute little smiles.” I remain static as he climbs up onto the bed and kneels in front of me. I’m covered in Cam’s blood, his body is behind me, and when Josh takes the knife in his hand and teases the tip of the blade along my collar I hold on to my breath.

“I don’t wanna play games anymore, Freya, I’m done.” He shakes his head.

“Josh, I’ve never–.”

“Why do you think I left the show? Why do you think I ensured that Drew could never hurt you again?” He interrupts what I was going to say. “Those cute, little smiles and ‘help me, Josh’ looks gave me so much hope. Then you do such stupid things.” He looks disappointed in me.

“First Ruckus, then him. You’re not a whore, Freya, so why the fuck have you been acting like one?” I watch the blade of the knife, while he tilts his head and smiles

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. There's things you don’t understand.” I try not to cry when his free hand lifts up to cradle my face.

“You were so innocent before you went back to them, poor, broken, beat-up Freya. I was gonna be the person who saved you, I had a plan.”

“Josh?” I frown.

“I just needed you to cry off for one night. A few loose screws here and there, I could made him go away. We could have made that act ours.” I take in what he says and try not to react.

“I had to think of a new plan when you left. That's why I told you he was coming for you. I just needed the chance to show you.”

“Show me what?” I feel my tears drip over his fingers.

“That I can take care of you. Freya, I killed him. Drew can’t ever strike you again, I made sure he could never hurt you.”

“You killed Drew too?” Josh tried to be brave but he was always so scared of Drew.

“The show left town and Drew refused to go with them until he had you back. He was coming for you and I couldn’t let him hurt you, anymore. I stayed with him, told him I’d help him get you back and then…” He looks over my shoulder at Cam and shrugs.

“No, you wouldn’t do that. Drew was your brother.”

“See there you go, underestimating me, you always did that. You thought I was weak because I didn’t fight back at him. Nah…I was just cleverer than he was. I needed you to think you were in danger. I wanted you to run with me, we could have gone anywhere. I was thinking Florida, you loved it there.” He smiles and I try to steady my panic, because Josh has clearly gone fucking crazy.

“I get you wanted to stay close to your brother after what happened to your sister, and when you asked me to stay, you gave me more of that hope, Freya.” His eyes go a little crazy and his laughter sounds bitter. “I did what you wanted. I even put on this stupid fuckin’ kiddy cut because I wanted you to look at me the way you looked at Ruckus.”

I close my eyes and shake my head.

“No… don’t do that, you look at me.” Josh's hand goes firm as it grips around my jaw. “Open your eyes and look at what you did.” I do as he says and see his pupils flared like he’s possessed. “You made this crazy. It wasn’t there before you came. I would never have hurt Drew, or…” He looks at the blood on the knife he’s holding, like it suddenly repulses him.

“You told me Ruckus was just fun, I accepted that. But I watched you, Freya, and I saw...”

“Josh, if the people here know you killed Cam, they’re gonna kill you.” I try to make him realise how much trouble he’s in. “You need to get out of here before anyone wakes up.” It must still be early, the club is so quiet.

“You know I was gonna kill that bastard too. I hated him for all those nights he got to spend with you. But when you left I saw that you did it to him too. You made him a mess. Because that's what you do, you mess with a man, you give him hope, and then you…” His fingers tense. “You crush it.”

“Josh, you don’t understand. I had to leave with Cam, he made me.”

“Bull shit, Freya, he’s just another poor bastard who you fooled. I did him a favour.”

I shake my head against his hold, but I can see it’s pointless trying to make him see sense.

“So what's your plan, we leave here and go to Florida?” I try not to sound scared.

“You think I still want you?” He laughs at me hysterically. “Freya, it’s too late for that, you can only kick a man down so many times before he stops getting back up. I’m going back to the show, back to my real family. I just want to give you something to remember me by.” He holds the knife against my throat using it to force me onto my back, and when he starts to unbuckle his belt I don’t care if he slices me open…I scream.