Ruin My Life (Mangled Masterpieces #1)

24. Remy

24

Remy

Six Years Ago

S ome nights, I wake to complete darkness in a cold sweat, fighting off imaginary monsters whose claws rake the inside of my skull until it’s tattered strips of brain matter. Other times, like tonight, my eyes won’t close as spiraling loops and laps of thoughts tangle and twist until they’re a knotted, writhing mass of twitching worms. Disjointed fears project across the ceiling like the morphing, colorful shapes of a kaleidoscope. My heartrate insists on keeping pace with the marathon race in my mind. Hours stretch and warp, dragging on forever while reeling by faster the more I toss and turn.

The agonizing ache of longing swells within me. What I would do to hold Win right now. Feel the soothing little puffs of his exhales on my chest, his silky hair tickling my nose. He’s probably passed out on his stomach with one leg hitched up the way he always does. I bet he’s got his face smushed in a pillow like last weekend when we holed up in his room, cuddling, gaming and napping .

2 a.m. comes and goes. I can’t stand the lonely void of my bedroom anymore.

Ugh. :( Can’t sleep. You awake?

Dropping the phone on my chest, I blow out a sigh.

It vibrates a second later.

Baby, I’m a vampire, of course I’m awake.

That message is a stone skipped across the lake of anxiety, disbursing little bursts of peace. My lips lift as another message immediately follows.

And I blame you for my insomnia.

Why? What did I do?

Exist.

I recoil in confusion.

… Sorry?

I gnaw on my thumbnail as the dancing dots beside his name go on and on and—

How dare you have a smile so beautiful that I crave the sight of it constantly. How dare your laugh sound better than every one of my favorite songs. How dare you breathe and make me wish I was your oxygen. How dare you hold me like you’ll never let me go. How dare you look at me like I’m worthy of your heart.

A lump forms in my throat.

If you think it ends there, it doesn't, because you take it one step further. You just HAVE to smell like winter mornings on the beach and taste like sweet sunshine, don’t you? My god, don’t even get me started on your body. The way you feel beneath me just HAS to light me up like a fucking forest fire, doesn’t it? Do you have any idea how impossible it is to sleep when I have YOU to think about?

My eyes sting and my cheeks ache from smiling. His words chase the tide of doubt away and replace it with dizzying affection. Being together, even if only in private, surpasses my wildest dreams. He’s everything . I can’t get enough of him and maybe it’s getting out of hand, but I can't stop myself from falling.

How dare YOU text me all of that and not expect me to run to your fucking house right now?

Stop. I’m getting terrible ideas.

My imagination goes rogue: Climbing through his window, devouring his mouth as I lay him back on the bed, undressing him andkissing his warm, naked skin.

I need to know these ideas… for research purposes of course. ;)

Are you writing a paper on bad decisions that I’m unaware of?

I snort and begin tapping out a response, but before hitting send, I pause. Since the night of my first track meet, I haven’t pushed for more physically, assuming when he’s ready, he'll initiate. But waiting hasn't tamed my fantasies. It’s expanded them, leading me to research every imaginable way to pleasure him. Two options stare me in the face: continue innocently flirting or test the waters?

Fuck it.

If I showed up right now, what would you do?

The typing bubbles start, then stop.

I chew my cuticle raw.

Start. Stop. Start. Stop.

Suddenly, my phone starts vibrating with Win's incoming call. I swipe to answer but before I can speak, he beats me to it.

“ Baby .” A delicious shiver works down my spine at his scolding rasp. “Are you seriously on your way?”

Deflating against my pillow, I sigh, “I wish.”

He huffs and I grin, picturing his conflicted frown. But then I think of his lips and a yawning pit of desire opens up to swallow me whole. My over eager dick stirs; the bastard can’t sleep either.

“You still haven’t answered me,” I whisper.

Rustling.

“I’d kiss you.”

The hushed admission feels illicit. Or maybe I’m just keyed up. Whether he’s aware of it or not, he’s feeding the ravenous lust in me. There’s no stopping me from pushing this conversation in a daring direction.

“Where?”

A catch in his breath.

My heart drums in my ears.

“First?” he whispers. Pauses. I’m hanging on the edge, straining for his next words. “Your mouth.”

This might be my best worst decision ever. Stifling a groan, I push the heel of my palm into my thickening cock to relieve the ache.

“Where next?”

A faint whimper. Precum gushes into my boxers.

“That spot where your neck meets your shoulder… but I wouldn’t be able to resist biting you.”

I shiver, trailing my fingers up and down my shaft teasingly. “Mmm, I like it when you bite.”

He whines, “Fuck, Remy,” and it’s a desperate sound that pours liquid heat into my groin.

“What’s the matter, love?”

The pet name is out before I can clamp my big mouth shut. But the delicious little noise he makes smothers my panic.

“I-I’m so fucking hard.”

Christ . As if I wasn’t already leaking.

“So am I.” My fingers sneak under the waistband of my boxers. “Are you touching yourself too?”

He mutters an unintelligible curse. “Yeah… since before you texted me.”

Now I'm cursing, cock in hand and thumb spreads slippery precum over the tip.

“How?”

He’s quiet. Something shifts. There’s a click.

“How you touched me… after the meet.”

My cock jumps. Images whip through my mind at breakneck speeds. Win with his back arched, writhing with his fingers buried—

Fuck all, I will NOT come yet.

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhm.”

A shaky sigh crackles over the line. I adjust my phone in the crook of my neck and begin leisurely stroking myself again.

“Have you… gone further?” My cheeks flush. “Then we did?”

Shuffling.

“Yeah.”

“ Fuck ,” I groan, hips lifting in search of more. “Right now?”

“Mhmm.”

“Jesus fuck, Win, that’s so hot.” My hand moves over my cock faster, twisting at the top of each stroke. “How’s it feel?”

Another whine from him and I have to pause so I don’t blow.

“It kinda burned at first… but…” His breath hitches. “It’s better now.”

I’m losing it, fucking into my fist and imagining. Imagining. Imagining.. .

“Close your eyes,” I murmur. My voice drips with lust. “I’m there, kissing your throat, licking down the center of your chest. To your nipple and bite it.” He gasps. I groan at the thought of him pinching the nub, pretending his nails are my teeth. “Then I suck a hickey on your hip bone before… taking you into my mouth.”

“ Rem .”

“I know, I know.” I’m lost to the picture I’m painting for us too.

Each of his breathy moans send shockwaves through my core. As sweet as his noises are, I can tell he needs more.

“Take your finger out.”

His moaned, “No,” almost shoves me over the edge.

“Trust me, love.”

Another whine.

I wet my lips. “Add lube to two fingers and get on your side.” That distinct click again. Shuddering pants mix with shuffling. The coil of pleasure at the base of my spine tightens. “Bring your top knee up. Imagine me behind you, sucking on your neck and shoulder, my fingers sliding up and down, real slow, over your tight little hole.” My balls draw up and I grit my teeth. “How’s that?”

A muffled moan. “So good.”

“You ready?”

“ Please .”

“Shh,” I hush, squeezing my cock to stave off the orgasm barreling at me. “Go on, push them in for me.”

He inhales sharply. “Oh shit , Rem.”

“Fuck, I’m not gonna last,” I hiss. “Can you find your spot? ”

“Mmm.” More staccato pants as an eternity passes. Then a sudden gasp, “I think—”

It’s clear the moment he hits it by the helpless moan he releases.

“Now stroke yourself, love. And don’t you dare stop on that spot.”

He’s a whimpering mess on the line, a chant of, “ Shit, fuck, god, baby, more ,” falling out until he releases a long moan.

And I erupt with him.

My mind blanks, ears ringing on the come down. Time blurs.

Win sighs, “Tired…”

A smile curves my lips.

“Bedtime.”

“Mhmm.”

My heavy lids shut.

And we fall asleep without hanging up.