Ruin My Life (Mangled Masterpieces #1)

46. Win

46

Win

A ny second now, I’m going to wake up from this fantasy I’ve concocted in my damaged mind where I’m in the arms of the only person in the world who sees me— the real me— and still wants me. But it feels so real that I want to believe that it’s really him softening inside me. His body beneath me. His eyes gazing into mine with adoration and affection and something infinitely heavier.

“What’s wrong, love?” Remy whispers, gently combing the sweaty hair off my forehead. “Did I hurt you?”

Heat trickles from the corner of my eye.

Tears.

The line between his brows deepens as I shake my head. He’s misunderstanding. He doesn’t know what he’s just shown me.

This is how it should’ve been.

How it should always be.

And I’m breaking because this was stolen from me.

From us .

It’s not until he hushes me and hugs me fully against his chest that I realize I’m trembling. Burying my face in his neck, I clench to keep his cock in me; I’m not ready for us to separate.

“Did… someone else hurt you like that?”

I squeeze my eyes shut.

And nod.

I’ve never admitted it before. Not in the mandated therapy sessions at Crestview. Not to my parents. Not even to myself.

Remy swallows audibly, his palms flattening on my waist. His jaw flexes. “Against your will?”

The ache in my throat triples.

Again, I nod.

A hand smooths up my spine, to grasp the base of my neck. His lips whisper against my temple, “Thank you for trusting me.”

Everything I want to say perches on my tongue, begging to be set free here in this bubble where the nightmares can’t touch me. Where I’m cared for and safe.

The invisible muzzle I’ve worn my entire life falls away.

“Thank you for saving my life.”

The fingers idly tracing the rose inked on my ribs pause.

“How so?”

This man isn’t the fragile boy I was desperate to shield from the world’s horrors. No, this compassionate, intelligent, empathetic soul is my haven and he’s waiting for me to accept the shelter he’s offering.

It’s about time I take it.

“The day my dad died, I was already fucked up. In my head, on booze and some other shit— I was a fucking trainwreck, and not because he wouldn’t let me take him to the hospital the night before, but because he didn’t notice . No one did. Ever. I've always been invisible. Mom and Richard gave up trying to contact me. Dad didn’t know I was failing out or that I was always drunk and high. He definitely didn’t know what I did to get those drugs or why I started using in the first place…” My voice cracks. Fuck, this is hard. Remy’s soothing fingers resume drawing lazy patterns between my shoulder blades, dulling the sharp edges of the agonizing truth. “He just had to die on that fucking day and remind me I was all alone. All alone and so done with everything that I… took a bunch of pills…”

His fingers still. Dig into my skin. My mouth is bone dry as I rasp, “But then I thought of you. Of how much I fucking missed you and how badly I wanted to be with you. You stopped me, Remy. I couldn’t— couldn’t leave without seeing you one more time.”

Soundless sobs drown out the rest. Remy cradles the back of my head, rocking us slowly. “Shh, you’re not alone anymore, love. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere,” he chokes. “I’m yours. Always have been, always will be.”

Over and over, he murmurs reassurances between soft kisses. First, on my neck. Then my jaw, my ear, my cheek, my wet eyes and my mouth. Each one draws out more of the toxin.

Because he’s never been a replacement addiction.

He’s my cure.

We kiss slow and sweet for ages, salty tears mixing on our lips. I’m not sure who they belong to— me or him— it doesn’t matter because we’re falling into each other, making out like teenagers again, tongues massaging and hands mapping every inch of skin. I’m drifting through the clouds when he rolls me under him—

And his cock slips out of me.

Gasping, I grasp his biceps.

Remy instantly props up, hazel eyes searching my face.

My lips part but I can't speak.

He frowns, tensing to move—

I shake my head.

The line between his brows deepens.

Cheeks burning, I whisper, “I just miss you inside me.”

His expression transforms before my eyes into pure sunshine, beaming out of him like the day we met.

“Oh yeah?” He grins and sits back on his haunches between my spread legs. I bite my lip as his gaze drops to my half-hard cock. I'm shocked too— I just came hard enough to time travel and I'm somehow already desperate for more. He palms the back of my thighs, pushing them toward my chest.

“So fucking sexy,” he breathes, swiping through the cum leaking out. I moan as two fingers enter me and pump lazily. “I get it now.”

“Get what?” I groan. Those torturous fingers curl. “ Godohmyfuck .”

“I’m obsessed with stuffing this pretty ass,” he purrs and descends. I make the most embarrassingly pathetic sound as his tongue traces my rim, explores my taint, my balls, my shaft, then—

Wet, warm heaven .

My hands fly to his hair. His devious gaze flicks up, lips stretched around my dick.

Whatever timeline I’ve landed in, I never want to leave.

“I don’t know if I can—”

His free hand massages my sack as he sneaks another finger in my ass.

“Fuck you,” I gasp.

He pops off, glistening lips red and smirking. “Be my good boy and come again.”

His good boy?

Fuck if that doesn’t turn me into putty.

Remy sucks my length into his mouth until it hits the back of his throat, constricting around my tip as his fingers thrust faster. I’m barely restraining pleas for his cock when another cataclysmic orgasm erupts through me.

“Mmm,” he hums, swallowing my load with closed eyes. The vibration has me pushing him off— I’m so sensitive, I can’t take it. He chuckles, pecking the tip of my spent dick and withdrawing his fingers. I’m a starfish on the mattress, dazed and sex-stoned as he licks and sucks his way up my body.

“You’re insatiable,” I sigh, exposing my neck. Teeth playfully pinch the delicate skin, a sloppy kiss following.

“You love it.”

I grin. “Yeah, yeah.”

A curious meow.

Both of our heads snap to the bedroom door. Cautiously peeking around the frame is Mitz.

“Yes, it’s safe, you little gremlin,” Remy mutters. His cat examines us— still very naked and tangled— and levels a skeptical glare. He rolls his eyes and returns his attention to me.

Lips on my ear. “Don’t move.” Lips on my cheek. “I’ll be right back.” Lips on mine. I’m too exhausted to ask where he’s going. My eyes won’t even stay open. My limbs are jelly and I’m cradled in the plush cocoon of oxytocin.

I’ve nearly dozed off when something tickles my nose. Then settles on my head… and starts rumbling like a mini locomotive.

“Hey!” Remy shouts.

I crack an eye open.

He storms out of the bathroom and points at me.

No. Above me.

“What did I say? No loafing on him! He’s mine .”

Mitz doesn’t move.

A laugh bubbles up. “Are you… jealous ?”

“You’re my boyfriend, not hers,” he snaps, throwing a scowl at his cat. “But she can’t seem to grasp that concept.”

“You’re fucking ridiculous,” I giggle. (Because this man turns me into a lovesick, giddy kid.) He flicks me off, eyes sparkling with mirth. The bed dips with his weight as he crawls between my legs again.

My brow arches. “Baby, there’s no way I can go another round right now.”

The look on his face reads, “ Obviously, dumbass ,” as he holds up a washcloth I hadn’t noticed in his hand. My stomach swoops.

“I can’t clean up my boyfriend after fucking him senseless?” he asks, gently wiping the cum drying on my skin.

My vision blurs.

He’s too good to be true.

“You can,” I blush. With an adoring smile, he resumes, intermittently kissing and sucking hickies as he goes. Once he’s satisfied, he tosses the rag off the bed, pulls my back to his front and drapes the blankets over us.

“You’re a much better little spoon when you’re naked,” Remy chuckles, lacing our fingers.

I can’t tell who’s purring more: me or the cat on my head.

The happy chemicals in my brain combined with the warmth of him all around me create the perfect cocktail for deep, undisturbed rest. My breathing evens out, my eyes closing…

“Hey love?”

“Mmm?”

“How did you get in my apartment?”

A sleepy smile curves my lips. “I made a copy of your key.”

His head pops up. “When?”

“I don’t know, like a month ago?” Sharp pain stings my ear. “Ow! Don’t bite me!”

“You bite me all the time, you hypocrite!”

“That’s different. It’s cute aggression. I can’t help it. ”

“Troublemaking menace,” he grumbles, snuggling into me again. Wiggling back, I mold myself against his hard body, lifting our joined hands to kiss each of his knuckles.

A minute passes.

“What about the theater?”

“Broke in with stolen keys.”

He shoots upright.

“Winston fucking Rhodes, you did not!”

I’m shaking with silent laughter as he goes off on a rant about how we could’ve been arrested for trespassing on private property and instead of spending the night fucking, we would’ve been trying to explain to our parents how we ended up with felonies. If I don’t stop him, he’ll lecture me all night, so I make the executive decision to twist in his embrace, grasp his beautiful head and shut him up with a kiss.

Which turns into another kiss.

And another.

We’re not sleeping tonight…