Ruined Wolf: A Paranormal Why Choose Romance (Claimed by the Sea Wolves Series Book 2)

CHAPTER TWENTY

Imust have slept a while, because when I opened my eyes, it was pitch black in the cave. We were pretty sheltered in here, but outside, I could hear the wind howling, and I guessed the storm had finally hit. I was still wrapped around Lucas, but his knot had gone, and he could have moved me if he’d wanted to. Instead, we clung together, still linked as one, my head on his shoulder and my face pressed into his neck.

I assumed he was asleep, as he’d have hated sitting skin to skin, so I hardly dared move. I took a deep, quiet breath of his intoxicating scent, and I felt a low rumble in his chest as he gave a quiet laugh.

“You’re awake then?”

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, straightening up. “You should have moved me.”

“Not a chance. You feel so good, I wouldn’t move you for anything.”

I couldn’t see his face in the dark, but there was a strange note in his voice. “I thought you hated...”

“I did, but I think it might just be different with you, sunshine.” He stroked my hair, but I shivered anyway. The motion of straightening up had pulled me from the warmth of his skin, and the cold, damp air of the cave flowed between us, raising goosebumps on my skin. I shifted slightly, trying to wrap my jacket farther around me, and he groaned.

“Fuck, Nova, don’t do that. I’m still inside you, and if you keep wriggling like that, I’m going to have no choice but to fuck you all over again.”

“Sorry.” I blushed and pulled away, breaking the bond between us.

“That was a hint,” he said, sounding amused. “I could have gone another round.”

“I thought you were mad at me,” I muttered, feeling around the rocky ground for my trousers.

He sighed. “I was, I am, and honestly, Nova, I have no idea how we’re going to get past all the secrets. I do know one thing though. I know I want to get past it. I want you in my life, Nova. I need you there, no matter what happened in the past.”

I shook my head. “I lied to you all. I could have given you the closure you needed, and I kept it all secret.”

“To protect yourself. We all have secrets, Nova. Dark creatures that move within us, and shadows hiding just beyond our eyes.” He took my hand, squeezing my fingers gently. “You’ve seen me stripped bare, Nova. You’ve seen the monster that lurks inside, and you didn’t run away. You stayed and you loved me anyway. I think with your sunshine shining into my soul, there might be hope for me—hope for a real life, a family, and love. We’ve had a rocky start, and I can’t speak for the others, but wherever we go from here, I want us to go together.”

“Lucas,” I whispered, tears forming in my eyes. “I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve love, Nova, so much love. You’ve had to be strong and ruthless to survive. I know that. I’ve done it myself. Maybe I might need to accept that I deserve it too. Maybe together, we can be stronger... and softer.”

He pulled me back into his arms and held me, stroking my hair as I buried my face into his chest. For a few moments, we sat cuddled together, and I felt a glimmer of light, the tiniest spark of hope that maybe, just maybe, this could still work out. I sniffed and sat up, dashing cold tears from my face.

“We still need to get out of here,” I pointed out.

“We do. Anyone know you’re here?”

I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see it. “Nope. Obviously, I was trying to get here and then escape.”

“Good point. I’m fairly certain my phone won’t get signal under here,” he said. There was some rustling, and I realised he was looking for his phone in his pocket.

“I’ve got it,” I told him, reaching into my jacket pocket and feeling for his hand to slide it into his grip. “I found it after you passed out to see if I could call for help, but it’s smashed. I think from when you tripped. Oh, how’s your head?”

“I’m a bit fuzzy,” he admitted. “And I’ve got a cracker of a headache.”

Guilt filled me. “Oh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have...”

Lucas laughed. “Jumped me?”

“I wouldn’t put it that way!” I retorted.

“Neither would I,” he murmured softly then sighed. “I’m assuming someone’s told you about how our father died.”

“Maverick did,” I admitted. “He said you really struggled with it for years and never really got over it.”

“He’s right. I was a stupid kid. Treasure hunting, of all things. I got stuck in here, and my father came looking for me. He found me, but when he was trying to get down to me, he fell and broke his neck.” He shuddered. “I can still hear the crunch as his body hit the ground and his torch smashed.”

“Lucas, I’m so sorry,” I murmured.

“Me too. We were stuck down here. It was so very dark, and the only image in my mind was that of my father, his head twisted and eyes staring off into space, looking at nothing. I screamed for help, but no one came for so long, and he just got colder and colder. I thought if I kept him warm, he would be okay, so I tried.”

I snuggled into his chest, ignoring the chill on my bare legs, hoping the rest of me was warm enough that he could feel it.

“You were just a kid. You couldn’t have known he was already dead and that nothing you tried would have worked. You can’t blame yourself, Lucas.”

“I knew he was dead. I saw his face before the dark came back, but something in me couldn’t give up on him, and he wouldn’t have given up on me, so I used my own body heat to keep him warm. I rubbed his arms and legs, and cuddled into his chest, but he just got colder and colder.”

“And now, you can’t stand the feeling of cold skin,” I murmured, putting it all together. I felt him nod.

“Skin in general, to be honest. It’s the memory of the warmth fading from it, until it got cold and clammy, and I got colder too. I thought I was going to die from it, and I wanted to go with him. That feeling didn’t go away for so long, Nova.” He sighed, turning me sideways. His hand rested on my thigh, and I felt him tense.

I grabbed his hand and pulled it away. “My legs are cold,” I told him, “but the rest of me is fine.”

He took a shuddery breath. “Yes, I know. I know.” He pulled his hand out of mine and placed it back on my leg, stroking up and down to warm me.

I could feel the tension in him, but he seemed to need this, so I let him carry on.

“As I grew up, I avoided any kind of physical touch. The only touch I ever allowed was violence. That was easier. It was brief, painful, and almost hot. Then, when I became a man and had other... needs, it was all too easy to let that violence spill into that side of my life.”

I took a breath. “Maverick said there was an incident with a woman on the island.”

Lucas let out a huff of breath. “I’ve never talked about that, but yes. On the mainland, in the big cities, it was easy to find people who were all too happy to cater to my personal tastes, often for a price, but here... There’s nothing like that here. As the brother of the future alpha, I’m apparently a catch, despite how I look. Some of the girls thought they would take a shot at the bad boy of the pack, and they had some pretty extreme tactics.”

I laughed suddenly. “That’s what you meant the first night you found me in your bed! You thought I was there to seduce you and land me an alpha.”

“Pretty much. That girl Maverick spoke of... It didn’t go down the way she told everyone. I told her what I wanted, I gave her plenty of chances to back out, and she didn’t. She didn’t even use her safe word. If she had, I’d have stopped, but I thought she wanted it. Afterwards, she told me if I didn’t mate with her, she’d tell everyone how fucked up I was, and she was true to her word, I’ll give her that. It was investigated, but she dropped the charges after a while, and things eventually settled down. No one else knows what happened except the two of us, and now you. That night, when you were in my bed and I looked at you, you were so beautiful, and that scent...” He turned his face, pressing it against my hair and taking a deep breath. “Ahh, what it did to me, you have no idea. I couldn’t resist. For once, I didn’t want to hurt you, I wanted to give you pleasure, but I couldn’t bear to touch you, except... where I knew you would be warm. After seeing you come apart under my touch, I couldn’t get you out of my head after that.”

He kissed the top of my head. “I don’t think I’m ever going to be like Maverick. I still want that pain, and I want to be rough. I want to... force you... as long as you want that too, but that night I held you in my arms, the first time I knotted you, I realised there could be something more, something deeper, and I think that’s why it hurt so much when I found out you’d been lying.”

“Because you were being honest for the first time,” I said softly. “Lucas, I am so sorry.”

“Hush.” He slid his hand up, trailing one finger between my breasts to press his fingertip against my lips. I kissed it. “There’s something about the dark, isn’t there?” he asked. “Something concealing and secret. It feels safer talking here. I know I’m crazy.”

“No, that makes sense.” I shivered again, and he shifted under me.

“Saying that, you are freezing, and we need to find our clothes, just in case someone realises where we are and comes calling. I don’t want that coastal rescue lot seeing what belongs to me.” He ran his hand up my inner thigh, brushing his fingers against my folds, and I gasped.

“Lucas!”

He laughed. “I’m just teasing, though if we’re down here a while, at least we’ve got a good way of keeping warm.”

I shook my head in mock frustration, even though he couldn’t see it. “I was trying to find my trousers before, but it was too...”

I blinked as he flicked on the small flashlight I had brought with me. His face lit up, the shadows and tattoos giving him a demonic appearance.

“You had that the whole time? Why were we sitting in the dark? You could have...”

“I turned it off when I realised that with my own personal sunshine in my arms, I didn’t need any other light in the dark.”

I blushed, and he reached out, pulling me in for a kiss.

“You saved me, Nova. I don’t know how you did it, but even in this darkness, I can tell that many of my shadows have gone. I want to spend the rest of my life repaying you for that. Our mating was an unusual one, and I can’t speak for Maverick, since I don’t know where his head’s at, but after we get out of here, I want to have a proper mating ceremony in front of the whole pack. I want you to stay with me, Nova, and if Maverick can’t forgive you and it’s too uncomfortable here, then we’ll leave. Together. If you’ll have me.”

I pressed my lips against his as the gravity of what he said spiralled through my mind. This man, this incredible, dark, intelligent man, wanted me as his mate. Not because of a mate mark, and not because he desired my body, but because he wanted me. He loved me. The feeling was incredible, and I hardly dared believe it.

I pulled back slightly. “And the baby?”

He sighed, and my heart sank a little. “I can’t promise I can be a good father, Nova. Family life no longer comes easily to me. I can only do my best and hope I don’t let either of you down, but I’ll love him no matter what, as my nephew and as my son.”

My heart ached for him, and I reached out to brush my lips against his again. “Then my answer is yes.” A huge smile spread across his face, and I laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile like that.”

“This is the first time in a long time that I’ve felt like it,” he replied, pulling me in for another kiss and squeezing me tightly until I hit his arm.

“I need to breathe!”

“Sorry, yes, and you need clothes.” He reached out and deftly fastened up my jacket. “Sad as it is for me to lose sight of your gorgeous body.”

He helped me up and got slowly to his feet, pressing his hand against the wall behind us. He swung his torch over the pile of rocks, and I quickly located my boots and trousers as he fastened his clothes. When we were both dressed again, he pulled me in close under his arm. I was warmer now, but it was still chilly, and my clothes were damp.

“Hey, what’s that?” I asked, pointing. “Did you forget your belt?”

“No, I’ve got everything,” Lucas said, grabbing the strap I’d seen from between a couple of larger rocks. He dragged a tattered mess of heavy-duty straps out. It caught on something, and he kicked at the rocks until they gave it up, and then he lifted it, shining the torch over it.

“What is it?” I asked. “Some kind of fishing net?”

Lucas shook his head slowly. “No,” he murmured, his voice heavy. “It’s the harness my father was wearing when he came to rescue me. I took it off him and chucked it away. It’s been here all this time.”

I didn’t say anything as he stared at the harness, then he blinked and passed it to me. I turned it over in my hands, sad I would never meet the brave man who loved his children as much as their father had. My father had been horrific, and I’d had him my whole life. Lucas had been blessed with a loving one and had lost him too soon. There was no justice in the world. I gazed down at the harness again and turned it over.

“Lucas, I’m sorry... How exactly did they say your father died?”

“The abseiling rope, this part, frayed on a rock and snapped. When he fell, he landed wrong and broke his neck.”

I held up the end of the abseiling robe, still threaded through the carabiner on the harness. “Lucas, this rope isn’t frayed. It looks like it’s been cut.”

Lucas snatched the rope from me. “No, that’s... that’s not how... What the fuck?”

“I’m right, aren’t I? I don’t know much about ropes and climbing, but that isn’t frayed.”

It wasn’t. As Lucas swept the torch over the end, it was very clear the rope had been sliced with a knife or something sharp. There were no frayed edges at all. Lucas looked up and met my eyes, his face confused and haunted.

“You’re right, but that would mean...”

I reached out and put my hand on his arm. “Lucas, that means your father didn’t die in an accident. He was murdered.”