Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
MIA
“ G irl, I’m going to need you to take more notes. This class is going way over my head,” Tara whispers, nudging her elbow into my arm as we sit in the second row from the back. “And what is it with you wanting to be way in the back here anyway?”
I shrug and shake my head slowly. “Got a headache coming. Wanted to be away from the screen.”
“No kidding.” Tara sits back in her seat, tapping her pencil on her empty notepad. “I need binoculars.”
The professor’s voice is nothing more than a murmur in the distance as he delivers the class that I was supposed to prep for, but instead spent all night on Saturday waiting for Jessie to come back to bed.
At around three a.m., I found him in the pitch-black, sitting on Zach and Luna’s couch, staring down into a whiskey glass.
He didn’t drink any, but even in the dark, I could see the anguish written all over his face. He wanted to. He was battling with himself, gripping the glass so tight in his hand that I was worried it would shatter at any second.
I wanted him to talk to me. He’d been downstairs for hours, sitting alone with his own thoughts, drowning in emotions that I knew were eating him alive.
When he finally looked up and saw me standing in the living room doorway, I watched the way his eyes glazed, shining in the moonlight.
He didn’t fight me when I approached him and took the glass from his hand, setting it down on the coffee table in front of him. He stayed silent as I led him back up the stairs and into bed, curling myself around him as we slowly drifted off to sleep.
And when he dropped me back at my dorm on Sunday morning, we didn’t make any plans to see each other.
I don’t know if he paid his dad that money. All I know is, Wayne Callaghan is the kind of dangerous you read about in books, never really believing or comprehending that kind of person is out there. A monster that would rather see their own child burn before any harm came to themselves.
All I did was share a two-minute conversation over the phone with him. My boyfriend has endured twenty-six years of his behavior.
I look down at the minimal words on my notepad.
The truth is, I can read every single textbook in the library, critique every journal and study of trauma survivors. But nothing could have prepared me for the look of pure terror reflected in his eyes.
The past couple of days have killed me to be apart from him, especially when I know he’s about to head to Dallas for an away series. But my gut tells me he needs this space to deal with the shitstorm.
On Saturday night, I got it. I got why he’d hidden Dallas Jessie from me.
And despite it all, I still want every part of him. The difference is that I’m not sure I know how to do that now.
Wayne’s words play over again in my ears, but Alice’s broken voice lives in my soul. Jessie’s right; she needs to get out. If not for herself, then for her son. She is the only reason Jessie goes back home, answers his phone, and puts his financial future at risk.
When he told me she’d made choices that destroyed him, he wasn’t just talking about his childhood. She’s still making them now. Choosing her husband over her son.
And the kicker? I think she’s so far gone that she can’t even see what she’s doing.
When the professor steps out of class to fetch some handouts, Tara nudges me in my side. “Let’s get out of here. I can download the slides for us later.”
I shake my head. “We can’t just leave class halfway through. We?—”
“Mia, look at me,” Tara interjects.
I continue to stare down at my pad, the first teardrop smearing the few notes I’ve made.
“It wasn’t a request,” she replies, grabbing my things and shoving them into my bag.
“You have a message,” she says, passing me my phone and taking my hand, leading us to the front of the hall and out into the main corridor, not stopping to say bye to Leo and Hugh, who deliberately sat at the front.
No doubt avoiding me.
Still being led by Tara, I unlock my cell with one hand and check who it’s from.
Kate
I don’t need to be a lawyer to work out something happened on Saturday night. Did you guys fight? If you need me to deal with a Callaghan, I’m ready and waiting. Here for you. We all are.
We turn a corner and stop next to a bench.
Tara points at it, her left brow raised in determination. “Sit there, please.”
Too exhausted to argue, I do as she demands and watch as she disappears into the dining hall before returning a second later with a glass of water.
Handing it over, she takes the seat next to me and draws in a deep breath. “I want you to know you can trust me, babe. There’s obviously been something going on since you’re barely home. I didn’t push you because you seemed happy, so I figured there was nothing to worry about. But that day with your dad got me thinking, and now you look anything but fine. So, I gotta ask, is it Pancake Boy?”
I sniffle out a laugh and shake my head. “No—well, sort of.” I look up at her, her regular sunny smile pressed together into a worried line. “I need to know I can trust you.”
She nods slowly. “Absolutely, you can. Shit, babe, did Leo do something? Is that why he’s ignored us all morning?”
I shake my head again, choosing to keep what happened at the bar with Leo just between us. Like I said to Jessie, a cocky college player is the least of our worries right now. “It’s not Leo.”
“Then what is it?”
“Jessie Callaghan,” I whisper.
She pulls back, her brows knitting together. “As in the starting forward for the Scorpions?”
Pressing my lips together, I look off to the side as people rush past us, heading to their next class. “Yes.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’ve been seeing him.”
A broad smile crosses her face. “Ha, that’s a good one.”
“No, really,” I say, looking her straight in the eye. “We’ve been sneaking around for the past month or so.”
“Holy crap!” she announces, then winces and ducks her head. “You aren’t fucking with me, are you?”
“That’s where I was when my dad came round that day. I’d stayed over at his place.”
Her hand comes to cover her mouth. “Jesus. And you’re upset about this? Wait, did he break up with you or something?” She shakes her head. “Asshole. Slept with you and then ghosted you, right? Clearly a stupid asshole to do that to a GM’s daughter.”
“It’s not like that. We’re still seeing each other, but … ugh, it’s really complicated. My dad doesn’t know about us. No one really does. That’s why I need to trust you. You can’t say anything.”
Pulling her thumb and forefinger across her lips, she throws away the key. “You’re looking at a sealed vault. But my initial reaction stands— holy crap , girl. Tell me he’s as good in bed as the books make out.”
I smirk, thinking about the collection of hockey romance books that line her bedroom wall. “I don’t kiss and tell, but I will say this: when it comes to my boyfriend, nothing about those books is fictional.”
Her eyes flare wide. “As in he …”
I hold up a hand. “That’s all you’re getting.”
I bend down and grab my phone from my bag, shooting a quick text to Kate, telling her I’m doing okay and not to worry.
Then I turn back to Tara. “It’s already past four, and I have back-to-back shifts tomorrow. I need to head to the library. Maybe we can download the slides and try and work out what we missed?”
Tara leans back in her seat. “Ugh. Do we have to?”
This time, I take her hand in mine and lead her down the hallway. “Come on. I’ll buy you a coffee. Caffeine can get us through.”
It’s past eight p.m. when we finally emerge from the library.
“I’ve never studied so much in my life.” Tara giggles, holding the door open for me. “Neither have I ever left the library in the dark.”
“Feels kind of good though, right?”
She quirks a brow. “I guess, but best believe I’m watching trash TV to cleanse my brain when I get back.”
I smile, continuing to wear a brave face. Today has been a total write-off. Approximately zero of the notes we downloaded have sunk in, as my mind is still whirling over Jessie.
We walk for another five minutes until we reach the place Tara works at, and she stops next to me. “I need to check my shifts. Meet you back on the couch?”
“Yeah, sure,” I say when my phone rings in my bag, and I fetch it out, showing her J written on the screen.
“Now I know what the J stands for.” She smiles before turning and waving over her shoulder. “Trash TV for one then. Have fun.”
“Hey,” I say after hitting Answer before voice mail can pick up.
“Hey, Sweetheart,” he replies, sending tingles to my toes.
“Where are you?” I ask, continuing to make my way home.
“About twenty yards away.”
Standing under the same streetlight he was that night he stayed at my dorm and slept on my floor, Jessie watches me approach. A smile growing on his lips, the closer I get.
When I’m within a couple of feet, he pulls me into him, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“You still haven’t cut your hair,” I say, reaching up and pushing his floppy hair out of his eyes as it peeks out beneath his black beanie. “But at least you’re wearing a jacket tonight.”
He looks tired but in control, and I push out a relieved breath into the space between us when I realize he hasn’t been drinking either.
Releasing me for a second, he drags the zip down on his dark gray winter jacket and steps back, holding it open. “I’m heading to Dallas tomorrow for an away series.”
“I know,” I say, bringing my arms around his warm body, and he wraps his jacket around us.
He blows out a long breath. “I needed to see you before I left.”
I look up at him. “Did you pay your dad?”
When his warm lips meet my forehead, my eyes flutter shut.
“Yeah.”
“Jessie, you can’t keep?—”
He cuts me off when his mouth presses against mine. “I know, Mia. I know I can’t. But I’m here tonight to say I’m sorry about what happened on Saturday.”
I shake my head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I get it. Everything.”
He nods in response. “Try telling that to Kate Jones. She said you looked upset before we left yesterday, and she was convinced it had to do with me.”
With another kiss to my lips, he lightly sweeps his tongue inside, massaging against mine. There’s no one around us when I bring my hand to the back of his neck, deepening our connection and drawing a whimper from his chest.
Jessie pulls back, his blue eyes sparkling beneath the streetlight. “No more secrets. I’m here to tell you everything I should’ve said on Saturday.”
“About Will?” I ask.
He wraps his little finger around mine, closing his eyes. “Yes. About my mom. I’ll give you every answer to every question you have. But I also don’t want you to worry. My dad doesn’t know who you are.”
“I know,” I whisper. “There’s no way he could’ve just from a photo of my hand and a stack of blueberry pancakes.”
He huffs out a weak laugh. “You mean everything to me, Mia. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”