19. CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 19
ARI
I got here early so I could be seated when my date arrived and miss having to see me waddle in here on my crutches.
I could kill Sophie for convincing me to go on a stupid date in the first place. What was I thinking, letting her talk me into this? She even wrote my damn profile. I told her I had no interest in swiping whatever direction determined whether I thought some guy was hot or not. So, like an asshole, I let my bestie put whatever the hell she wanted into it. I don’t even know what photo she used. But she did say she didn’t mention my “disability.” Ugh, I hate that word.
Running my hands over my hair, I tuck some behind my ear, then make sure my crutches are securely tucked between the high stool and the window. My foot taps against the footrest as I wait anxiously. I was lucky enough to regain feeling throughout my legs and am working toward full control of them—and I use that control to fidget nervously every second of every freaking day.
Pulling my ChapStick out of my purse, I run it around my lips about fourteen times.
He’s late. He bailed. Hell, I thought about it, too. I should just go. This is stupid.
Male voices behind me get my attention. “Excuse me?”
“Yes, sir, would you like a seat?”
“Actually, I’m supposed to be meeting someone here.”
“Oh, yes. There is a lovely young lady waiting right over there.”
“Cool, thanks.”
Shit ! I jam the cap back on my ChapStick and slip it into my pocket, then raise my head to get a look at the man sliding into the high stool across the small table in front of me. He places a motorcycle helmet on the table without even looking up, his head cast down at his phone as he settles in.
“Sorry I’m late. I just got a message from work that I had to respond to and I’m just sending this PDF out right now … OK. Sorry, again.” He snaps his head up and we make eye contact and both freeze.
His mouth falls open and his eyes dart around my face.
Before I can get any words out, he breathes, “Red.”
Those eyes. Those warm, welcoming chocolate brown that I’ve thought about every day since I was ten years old are boring right into mine. The man before me is wearing a tight black T-shirt under a denim long-sleeved button up that’s open, with the sleeves rolled up, exposing big, solid forearms. He’s got a buzz cut and a full beard that’s cut close but covers his face from his sideburns and cheeks to his chin, and down the upper part of his neck. His upper lip is also covered.
He’s older, more mature, more manly. But it’s definitely him .
Just to be sure, I reach my hand out …
ETHAN
I was running late after trying to convince Fonz to message the chick he set me up with and tell her I couldn’t make it. I never should have let him set me up with an online dating profile like some schmuck, but he was adamant. I never even asked to see what this woman looked like. I didn’t care.
Anyway, he wouldn’t do it. So I came blowing into this trendy little restaurant, late, like a jerk, with every intention of spending thirty minutes having a drink and then making up an excuse to leave. When the waiter pointed me toward the table, I saw the red hair and thought , thanks a lot, Fonz, now I can spend the entire night thinking about her .
But then I saw her face.
And now here I am, staring at that creamy skin tone, piercing green eyes, freckles lightly blanketing the top of her nose and forehead. She’s the same girl—young woman—I’ve compared every other woman to for the several years. Except she’s not.
I know she’s as shocked as I am, because she’s just staring at me blankly, taking me in.
We are both speechless until one word escapes my mouth. “Red.”
She reaches a hand up toward my face, and I don’t move. Slowly, her pointer finger lands on my upper lip, and goosebumps dance across my skin. She slides it until it hits the familiar groove of my cleft lip scar, which is hidden under facial hair, and I can’t help but smirk.
Yeah, Ari, it’s me.
When she reaches it, she lingers for a split second, then quickly pulls her hand back, and I mourn the loss of her touch. She draws her hand away and rests it in her lap, then slowly, the corners of her lips turn up and a smile breaks across her face.
“Ethan.” It’s a complete sentence and after she says it we both let out the air we’ve been holding in. I bark out a laugh while a giggle escapes her lips and I almost fucking lose it on the spot. That giggle. How I’ve missed that sound.
Cupping the crown of my head then running my fingertips down the edge of my face, I stammer, “Ari, wh— what are you doing here? Why haven’t I run into you in the city? Why are you my date? Wait, are you my date? And when did you get your tooth fixed? What … that’s it. That’s all I got.”
Ari covers her laugh as she shakes her head. “Holy shit, it’s like you haven’t changed one bit.” Then she tilts her head, looking me up and down. “Although you have.”
We stare at each other another moment. “OK, seriously, though,” I look around, “I was supposed to meet someone and I’ll have to tell her I need to cancel. I just … I don’t see anyone.”
“Oh,” I hear the disappointment in Ari’s voice and look over to see her looking down at her hands. “Of course, you have a date. Sorry. Of course you do.”
“No. Well, yes. I was supposed to meet someone from some online dating site here. Fonz set it up. He was trying to get me to go out. I don’t even know what this chick looks like.” Craning my head around, I continue, “I don’t want to be an ass and just stand her up, so if I see someone sitting alone I’ll just go tell her I’ve had a change of plans.”
“Wait,” Ari says. “Fonz set you up on a date?”
“Yeah.”
She shakes her head. “I’m supposed to meet someone here, too. My friend Sophie set it up for me.” She starts looking around the restaurant, too. “But, I don’t see anyone that looks like him here.”
“Wait. Your friend sent you a picture of someone else when she was really setting you up with me? Let me see.”
She pulls out her phone and scrolls for a moment. “Here.” She turns the phone so I can see, and I try to swallow my laugh.
“Ari,” I begin, then pause for fear that my laugh is going to burst out.
“What?” She turns the phone back toward herself to look at the photo she brought up. “You don’t think he’s cute?”
“Ari, that’s Josh Allen, quarterback for the Buffalo Bills.” She pulls her brows together and brings the phone closer to her face, scrunching her nose. “You know, football?”
Ari rolls her eyes. “Yes, Ethan, I know who the Buffalo Bills are.” She studies the picture some more. “I just don’t really know any of the players.”
I finally give in and throw my head back and laugh. “Oh man,” I mumble, in tears. “That friend of yours, Sophie, is it? She must be a trip.”
Ari flips her hair over her shoulder as she puts her phone away. “She knows me pretty well, OK? She must have known I wouldn’t know who he was.” Another laugh bubbles up and I can’t hold it in. “Yeah, yeah.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself over there.”
My laughing dies off. “Man, I’ve missed you.” The words tumble out of my mouth, and we stare at each other a beat. “Wait, so are Fonz and Sophie close, if they engineered this?”
“Oh yeah. Thick as thieves, those two.”
I rest my elbow on the table and place my chin on my fist. “Next time I see Fonz I’m gonna punch him in the face and then kiss him on the lips.”
I’m rewarded with that giggle again.
“Hi there, folks. Can I get you some drinks?” We snap our heads up to the young waiter dressed in all black who just placed two cocktail napkins on our table and is now looking between the two of us. I gesture toward Ari, and he looks her way.
“I’ll just have a seltzer, please.”
“Sure thing,” the waiter replies, then looks back at me.
“You have Genny Light on tap?”
He nods. “I’ve got exactly that.”
“Great, thanks.” I shake my head to clear it as he walks away. “So, what the hell, Ari? How have you been?”
She blinks and licks her lips. “Good. Great, actually, I’ve been great.”
“Are you still working at that pub?”
“No. Not for a while now. I’m doing some work from home admin stuff. With my liberal arts degree, I’m able to pick up a lot of work as an independent contractor.” A quiet moment passes and her eyes dart around. “Ethan?”
“You got your college diploma.” It’s not a question. It’s an acknowledgement.
“I did.” She blushes, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. I ache to touch that hair, wondering if it’s as soft as it always was. If it smells the same. She jostles and pulls her phone from her purse, which is vibrating with a notification. “Oh, crap. I forgot someone was going to call me in case I need an extraction.”
“An extraction?”
“Yeah,” she replies while shooting off a text. “You know, like in case you were a serial killer.” Her fingers fly across the screen. “OK, I told her you are not a rapist.” Ari clears her throat and puts her phone back in her purse. “What about you? When did you get into town?”
“Let’s see, I bought the house about a year ago.”
Ari’s eyes widen and then she looks down. “Oh.”
“Seltzer and a Genny Light,” the server interrupts as he places our drinks on the table and we both nod in thanks.
“So, where is your house?” She lifts her glass and takes a sip, not looking at me.
I hesitate before I answer. “It’s west of the city.” I pick up my own glass and take a gulp. “It’s actually not all that far from the old stomping grounds.” I’m trying to make light of the fact that I bought a house only a town over from where we grew up. I’ve driven by our childhood homes many times, sometimes catching a glimpse of Axel. But it’s not like I wouldn’t have driven by on my way to see Fonz anyway. Well, at least until he moved in with me. “Oh! Fonz lives with me.”
Ari pulls her head back, eyes wide. “Wait, you’re the friend he moved in with last year?”
I laugh. “Yeah, that’s me. Damn, why would he be hanging out with both of us and not say anything to either you or me?”
“Well”—Ari wipes condensation off her glass—“I always knew he was still talking to you. I ask about you often.”
“You do?”
She grins. “Yeah, I knew when you left the Army. But he left out the little detail about you moving back here.”
I huff out a breath. “Well, seems like he had an agenda.”
She gives a sad smile and starts to tear little pieces out of her cocktail napkin. “So, why didn’t you reach out when you first got into town?”
I pick up my glass and take a slow drink to buy me some time. Because I could never protect you. Because you’re better off without me. I place my glass back down and still don’t answer her.
“It’s OK. I get it. We don’t have to do this.” Ari waves a finger between the two of us. “I mean, it’s been nice catching up with you. That’s why I asked. But I get it.” She shuffles around like she might get up, and I panic.
“No, Ari, it’s not that.” I reach out and grab her wrist, but she freezes so I immediately pull back my hand. “I’m just shocked. I’ve been wondering if I would run into you around the city. Hell, I’ve been hoping I would. But I guess I didn’t really think about what I would say to you.”
“Well,” she looks down at her hands and the napkin she’s still ripping apart. “You had over a year, right?”
“Wait, are you mad?”
She shakes her head, then nods, then lets out a fake laugh. “No, Ethan, I’m not mad. I guess I’m sad.”
I narrow my eyes. “I don’t understand.”
“You were my first real friend, Ethan. You were my best friend, and you just …” She trails off. “Sorry, never mind. I’m just shocked at seeing you, too.” She pulls out her phone and checks the time. “But, I didn’t intend on staying long anyway. I was also just going to have a drink to be polite. So, I should get going.” She looks up. “It was nice seeing you, Ethan. I’ll see you around, yeah?”
She’s dismissing me, I know she is, but she’s not making a move to get up and leave. “Do you want me to go?”
She rolls her eyes. “I’m giving you an out, Ethan. You clearly don’t want to be here with me. You can leave. It’s fine.”
“What the— No. If you don’t want to talk to me, you go.” I say louder than intended.
“What?” She crosses her arms over her chest and huffs.
“I have no idea what the hell is going on in your head, but if you’re done talking to me, you get the hell up and leave. I’m not done with my drink.” I pick up my glass and take a sip to make my point. “In fact, I may get another.”
“Ethan James, you are still as maddening as ever,” Ari says through gritted teeth. She takes a slow breath and stares at me. “I just thought, since you took off and ghosted me in the past, you would probably be better at making an exit than me.” My jaw drops and I see regret cross her face. “Shit, I’m sorry.”
“You were the one who went to foster care and never reached out,” I say softly, and she shakes her head. “Don’t shake your head at me! I left because you were never going to walk away from that house—”
“Stop!” she practically shouts. “I can’t … I’m sorry.” Her eyes find mine. “I’m sorry I said those things. I’m glad you left. I’m so glad you’re happy, and successful, and that’s all I ever wanted. Let’s just let the past lie, OK?”
Ari shuffles around awkwardly. With both hands, she wraps her fingers around one knee and hoists her leg off the stool, then shifts her weight until she’s standing on that leg, and braces one hand on the table while using the other to guide her other leg down. She slings her purse over her shoulder and reaches for something on the other side of the stool.
Ari pulls out one metal crutch with a round brace, in which she rests her forearm, and grabs hold of a short handle. She leans on that as she pulls another crutch over and situates her other arm in it.
“Ari, wh—”
She doesn’t look my way. “It was good seeing you, Ethan. Really good. Take care of yourself.”
My mouth is dry as she takes two unsteady steps and, instinctively, I stand up to help her, but the waiter comes rushing over and takes her by one elbow. “Thanks,” she mumbles as he helps her toward the exit, and I stand there, stunned.