Running Back (Sporting Pride #1)

Chapter Five

Truth be told, Jakk had expected the rest of the weekend to be awkward after an unexpected drunken encounter. It wasn’t. Just as he had confessed—much to his horror—Rocky felt like he had been his friend forever. While they didn’t feel uncomfortable to him, they also didn’t talk about what was obviously happening between them. They also fully enjoyed sharing a bed for the entire weekend. Still, they hadn’t had access to condoms. He was dying to ride Rocky’s dick. Jakk wasn’t sure it would happen. Soon enough, they would head their separate ways.

“Where are you headed next?”

Rocky glanced his way at the question. They were only thirty minutes out from landing in Minneapolis. Soon Jakk would be home, and he would only see Rocky when he signed his contract. He would be Rocky’s client and Rocky wouldn’t likely touch him again.

“Back home to New York. I have to meet with my attorney to get your contract sorted and I have a meeting scheduled with Oakley Wilkes to go over his convention deals.”

“Oakley Wilkes? The retired baseball player?”

Rocky nodded. “He was the first player to take a chance on me. So now I do everything possible to keep the money flowing his way, even with his retirement.”

“That’s nice of you.”

Rocky’s gaze moved over Jakk’s face. He looked serious. Jakk had a bad feeling he was about to get the talk. In a way, he was right. “You know I travel nonstop.”

Jakk nodded. Things weren’t exactly cut and dry with him either. “You know, I just left a long-term relationship.”

Rocky nodded. “I don’t have to leave for New York until tomorrow.”

Jakk bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling like an idiot. “You should stay at my place.”

A bright smile lit Rocky’s face. “I’d like that.”

“Me too.” It was wrong how happy he felt. Jakk had been with Eric for six years. They had met on the first day of college and had been together through everything. Then the resentment had set in on both sides and the love died on Jakk’s end. He had been going through the motions for a long time, trying hard to hang on to what he thought they would be. Plus, Eric had uprooted his life and gave up college to come with Jakk. Eric had risked everything on him. Jakk hated himself every time he thought about it. He didn’t deserve to be happy with someone else. But then there was the rage. Throughout everything, Jakk hadn’t once strayed or betrayed him. Eric couldn’t say the same. Goddamn it. Jakk wouldn’t let the past ruin the future. Plus, what the fuck? It wasn’t like he had a future with Rocky. This was just a mutual attraction. Nothing more.

“If you’ve changed your mind, I’ll understand.”

Rocky’s quietly spoken words dragged Jakk from the edge. He focused on Rocky. His intensity didn’t let up, no matter how hard he fought it. “No. That thought never crossed my mind.” He hated to lie, but he couldn’t let Rocky think the sudden dip in mood was his fault in any way. “I guess it just hit me. I’ll be back to the stress of it all soon. It was nice to pretend all this bullshit didn’t wait for me.”

“I might not be present, but I’ll always be around. Just pick up the phone. Don’t let this beat you, and—for fuck’s sake—remember what I said. Don’t let this interfere with your game. If you do, they win.”

Jakk smiled. “Don’t worry. I’m a different person on the field.”

Rocky leaned his way and held his stare. “Don’t be so sure. I’ve seen that intensity and passion off the field.”

Goddamn. Rocky made Jakk hot in every way. He couldn’t wait to show him exactly how passionate he could be.

By the time the plane landed, and they were loaded in Jakk’s car, Jakk was ready to do twice the speed limit to get home. He forced himself to drive at a safe speed. His pride refused to allow him to expose his desperation. Judging by the way Rocky had made him shake and beg without penetration, Jakk needed to know what it would be like to have the man inside him.

A groan rose and caught in his throat as he pulled into his driveway. Eric sat on the porch, waiting. Jakk wondered how long he had been sitting there. There was no way he knew where Jakk had been or when he would be home.

“Fuck. This is about to get awkward.”

Rocky flashed him a sympathetic smile. “I can call a cab and find a hotel. It’s no big deal.”

It was, and it pissed Jakk off that Rocky could say it wasn’t. He wanted to be with Rocky. They only had tonight before Rocky had to go home. He would be goddamned if Eric stole another fucking thing from him. “You’re the one I want here.” Jakk couldn’t hold back the passion.

Rocky nodded at his obvious seriousness. “Okay. Do you want me to wait in the car and let you two talk?”

Jakk felt the incredulous expression overtake his face. “No. I’ve said everything I need to say to him.”

“Okay.” Rocky sounded unsure.

That had his anger skyrocketing. How dare Eric endanger anything else in Jakk’s life? Hadn’t he destroyed enough?

Together, they climbed from the car. Jakk handed Rocky his keys. “Go ahead and get settled. This won’t take long.”

Eric’s gaze moved from Jakk to Rocky as they approached. Hatred flashed in his dark blue eyes. Rocky nodded as he passed, as if he had no reason to worry. It was odd and uncomfortable. Rocky used Jakk’s keys and headed inside.

“I guess I know the real reason you dumped me.”

Jakk’s brow furrowed. “What in the fuck are you talking about? First off, you know exactly why we’re over. Secondly, that’s my new agent. You know, one I needed since your bullshit got me dropped by my old one.”

Guilt touched Eric’s features. He shifted from foot to foot. Jakk’s chest hurt. He still knew what he saw in Eric. Eric was big and cuddly. Jakk used to think he was the sweetest man alive. Once upon a time, Jakk would have done anything for him. Now he had stepped over that line between love and hate. There was no going back.

“I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

Jakk knew that, but it didn’t matter now.

At his silence, Eric shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’d hoped I could take you to dinner and try to talk about things.”

Jakk held his silence and simply stared at Eric. There was no way Eric didn’t see his fury.

Eric ran his hand through his dark hair—like he thought to tear it out. “I uprooted my whole goddamn life for you. The least you can do is have one fucking dinner with me. What am I supposed to do now? I built my entire life around you.”

For a second, Jakk fought the guilt, but he hadn’t been the one to destroy them. “You should’ve thought about that before taking a sledgehammer to everything we had.”

“Everything we had? It’s everything you have. Always has been.” He motioned toward the house. “None of this has ever been mine, and I knew it every day. I knew I had no hope of ever being anything but your secret shame if I didn’t do something.”

“You agreed to everything. I told you how it would be. You knew staying quiet was temporary. As soon as I retired and had us set for life—”

“Bullshit!” The yell cut through the air, startling Jakk into silence. Eric looked more enraged than Jakk had ever seen him, and that said a lot. “You never once thought about me. You weren’t pining for the day you didn’t have to hide me. I was nothing but a convenient fuck, keeping you safe while keeping you fed. Fuck you for that.”

Jakk flinched with every word. He knew he wasn’t faultless. They had equally destroyed each other. That was exactly why it was well past the time for them to move on. He tried tempering his voice. “You’re better off without me. I told you I’ll get you set up in a place to live back home. Start over. Find someone worthy of you and who treats you the way you deserve. To my soul, I know it would’ve been me one day. But I asked too much and we’re too broken now. I’m sorry I wasted your time.”

Tears welled in Eric’s eyes. He paced away. His shoulders expanded on a deep breath. He didn’t look at Jakk. “You can tell yourself whatever it takes to sleep at night, but you never loved me. Every time you said it, it was a lie. Love doesn’t look like this.” He headed toward the driveway where his car sat. “Keep your fucking money. That’s the only thing you love.”

The bitterness and coldness rolling off Eric in waves made Jakk’s chest hurt. Every day, he swung wildly between who was most at fault. Eric was right on one thing, though. Jakk did tell himself a lot of lies and performed a ton of mental gymnastics to validate his decisions with Eric. No matter how they had ended up here, they were over and there was no going back. Jakk just wished he didn’t feel like such a bastard.

Rocky didn’t move past the living room or take off his shoes. He shouldn’t have gotten involved with someone this fresh out of a relationship. Love didn’t die that fast. There was a real possibility he should just leave. He should let Jakk’s ex come inside and work things out. Rocky hated this feeling. He loathed knowing he made a stupid decision—again. Every time Rocky swore he would be smarter, he lied to himself.

Jakk came back inside, looking defeated. Despite all his alarm bells clanging, Rocky’s heart squeezed. It was more than obvious Jakk blamed himself for this entire mess. Rocky understood. He, too, had lived with that guilty conscience before. Sometimes, there were no good choices. Jakk had killed himself to become the best, and it shouldn’t matter he was gay, but it did. He had been put in an impossible position between the career he loved and the man he intended to spend his life with. What was he supposed to do?

It was on the tip of Rocky’s tongue to suggest going to a hotel again. He couldn’t leave Jakk like this.

Jakk looked his way. “I’m so sorry about all this.”

“You have no reason to apologize.”

Jakk’s defeated expression somehow got worse. “I completely understand if you want to bail. I’m sure I look like a complete ass right now.”

“What kind of friend would I be if I walked away on your bad days?”

A sweet smile touched Jakk’s lips. “Probably a smart one.”

The weight lifted from Rocky’s chest. He was where he was supposed to be. Rocky patted the couch next to him. “Come, tell me how to make it better.”

Rather than sitting where Rocky indicated, Jakk crossed the room and straddled Rocky. His mouth found Rocky’s lips. Rocky’s hands automatically slipped beneath the back of Jakk’s shirt as he opened for Jakk. Every earlier doubt fled. Nothing mattered except the now. They were together.

“I need you inside me.”

Rocky’s stomach muscles clenched. His body responded like his dick was already in Jakk’s hand. “Lead the way.”

Jakk stood and pulled Rocky to his feet. Rocky held Jakk’s hand on the way to his bedroom. The moment they crossed the threshold, Jakk whipped his shirt over his head and tossed it aside. Rocky followed his lead. He toed off his shoes and continued stripping while Jakk found condoms and lube. Rocky didn’t even notice a single detail about the bedroom. All he saw was Jakk.

Once nude, Rocky crowded Jakk’s space. He molded against Jakk’s back and followed the waistband of his jeans with his hands until he reached the button. Rocky listened to Jakk’s breathing turn ragged as he slid his zipper down. He swore he still felt Jakk’s black mood lingering. That wasn’t happening on his watch. Rocky shoved Jakk’s pants down his hips, taking his underwear with them. With the slightest push, he had Jakk bent over the edge of the bed. Jakk completely surrendered. Rocky let his hunger grow as he lubed Jakk’s hole and suited up. Jakk’s body was so beautiful. Rocky never got tired of admiring it. But Rocky didn’t think that was what caught him with Jakk. As angry as it made Rocky with himself, considering the bullshit from just five minutes ago, he wanted more with Jakk than sex. There was no chance this would end well.

Even the knowledge that this could only end in heartache didn’t stop Rocky from lovingly stroking Jakk’s back and ass as he led his cock to Jakk’s hole. He took his time, teasing Jakk and stretching him.

“Please?”

The whispered plea nearly broke Rocky’s brain. He thrust. His eyes fell closed as the heat engulfed him and Jakk’s moan caressed his ears. He rocked inside him, savoring the sensations. It had been so long. Rocky had forgotten how good it felt to fuck. He couldn’t lie to himself, though. Rocky had bent Jakk over this bed as punishment and to steal the intimacy from the moment. He wanted to remove his heart. Jakk intended to break it, and Rocky couldn’t handle it.

Jakk pushed backward like he loved every second. “Yes. Fuck. Just like that.”

A wave of sadness unexpectedly washed over Rocky. He wanted to be special. He was never special. Eric still owned Jakk’s heart. He wasn’t ready for Rocky. This was just… nothing. Rocky didn’t know if he spaced out or froze or both. He also didn’t know how long he stood there—paralyzed with terror for his mental health. This would break him. He couldn’t do this again. Rocky didn’t know if he could survive this.

Rocky blinked, and he was on his back on the mattress with Jakk hovering over him.

“It’s fine. Shhh. It’s okay. We don’t have to do this. I never meant to make you feel bad or used. I’m so fucking sorry.”

Fuck. Rocky had checked out. He hadn’t done that in ages. Then again, he hadn’t had sex in ages either. He blinked. “I’m good.”

Jakk looked defeated. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “You’re right to be upset. I don’t deserve to have you here.”

Goddamn it. Rocky was the one fucked in the head. Not Jakk. He didn’t know how to say that, so an even worse confession escaped. “I like you way more than I should.” Under any other circumstances, Rocky would have bitten off his tongue, but his mind was still hazy from the silent panic attack. “Nothing will come of this except me getting hurt.” Fuck. Why couldn’t he stop?

To his surprise, he found himself beneath a very pissed-off-looking Jakk. “What do you think is happening here? Do you think I’m the kind of guy who doesn’t call the next day? Do you really believe I thought, ‘I’ll just fuck my new agent and we’ll never speak on it again and everything will be good?’ Is that really what you think?”

He couldn’t believe they were having this argument nude, with Rocky still ready to go. Oddly, every angry word brought him back to life. “I think I’m a rebound and you’ll realize it soon enough. When you do, the hurt will be my fault, because I knew I wasn’t special, and I still couldn’t wait to get hurt.”

Jakk visibly deflated. “How can you think you’re not special? Don’t answer that. I know it’s my fault.” He kissed the corner of Rocky’s mouth, lingering for a moment before pulling away again. “God, I don’t want to have this discussion with you underneath me like this, but I can’t let you leave this bed.” He kissed the other corner of Rocky’s mouth. “Eric started sleeping with someone else over a year ago. He said if I couldn’t publicly claim him, then I shouldn’t care if someone else did. I knew it was a way to try to force my hand, but it only made me realize I didn’t love him anymore. We were still together, for my guilt’s sake. Still, I didn’t stray, and I didn’t let him go. I don’t know if that was pride or penitence. Either way, I’d watch him get ready to go out with someone else and I only felt relief.”

Rocky’s stomach was in knots. His gaze wouldn’t waver from Jakk’s expression. He told the truth. Whatever he had with Eric had died a long time ago. Still, Rocky didn’t know how to feel. This wasn’t how he pictured making love to Jakk would go.

“When sleeping with someone else didn’t break me, you know what happened next. That’s what I needed to finally let go of whatever kept me hanging on, but don’t mistake that for love. He killed that a long time ago.” His expression shifted. Light and life came back to his eyes. Rocky watched him transform from recalling a bleak existence to finding a spark. “Then you walked into my life.” Rocky’s breath caught. He was the reason Jakk looked happy again. “You can’t know how much I want this. Not the sex, even though—goddamn.” Yeah. Rocky got it. They were pretty fucking explosive together. Jakk smiled. It was so sweet and warmed Rocky’s chest, carrying away the last of his doubts. “I want you. This isn’t me looking for an escape or a healing balm to soothe my hurt and pride. I want you,” he repeated with more intensity behind each word. “If I look angry at life or out of sorts, it’s because I know this feels and looks like I can’t possibly be serious. I’m enraged that I let Eric steal so much from me and now he gets to play the victim. It pisses me off that I met you right when everyone will think I’m hitting my whoring stage to deal with an ugly breakup. He left a long time ago. Since then, I’ve just been waiting for you.”

Maybe it was bullshit. Rocky wasn’t sure he cared. Every word Jakk spoke was what he needed to hear. He wasn’t built to fuck and run. That was why he never bothered. He understood being with him was hard work, but he understood even more that no one wanted anything real any longer. Damned if Jakk didn’t sound just like him—like anything less than real wasn’t good enough.

Rocky rolled, pinning Jakk beneath him. He moved slowly, lowering his head. If Jakk wanted him to stop now, he would. Jakk lifted his head, meeting him halfway. Their tongues fought for control. It wasn’t a sweet kiss. It was desperate. He scooped Jakk’s leg from the bed, tucking his arm beneath it so he could control him. In an instant, he was back to root-deep in Jakk’s ass. He kept Jakk held at the exact angle he wanted him and pumped inside him. Rocky knew what he was doing. Maybe it had been a long time, but he knew the exact angle to hit Jakk where it would drive him insane. The sounds vibrating around their entwined tongues proved his theory. Jakk swapped between scratching at the covers and tearing at Rocky’s skin. Rocky didn’t let up. He knew how to make Jakk fly, and he would. But Rocky hoped he got there quickly because Jakk’s body felt too good. It had been too long. Rocky desperately wanted to pump cum into his ass, even if a condom would catch every drop. He needed to blow with his dick buried inside Jakk. It felt a lot like claiming him.

Jakk tore his mouth away and visibly fought for air. “Oh, God. I have to—” A loud cry tore from Jakk.

Rocky never looked away. He savored every second. Jakk’s body convulsed, and Rocky lost his breath. He locked his back teeth and slammed himself inside Jakk over and over, driving himself to the edge. Then the world stopped as pleasure coursed through his veins. He was exactly where he should be.

A smile kept pulling at Jakk’s lips as he watched their fingers play. No one knew how fucking ecstatic he was. It was more than a post sex glow. They’d had a real adult conversation and there hadn’t been anyone screaming. He had spoken his heart and Rocky had listened. They felt like they were headed somewhere. Even though Jakk hadn’t seen this coming, he wanted them more than he dreamed possible. Rocky might have come from left field to sideswipe his life, but Jakk had never wanted anything more. He felt like he walked on clouds.

“I’ll miss you when you leave tomorrow.”

He felt Rocky smile against his temple. “I won’t let that happen. Over the years, I’ve gotten pretty fucking adept at being everywhere all at once. I’ll figure things out.”

Jakk couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot. “You won’t be the only one. I’m used to constant travel too. There’s no way I’ll let you sleep alone any longer than absolutely necessary.”

For a moment, silence grew between them before Rocky finally broke it. “We’re really doing this.”

Jakk was every bit as shocked as Rocky sounded. He never expected to meet Rocky and get swept off his feet. Hell, he never expected to get swept off his feet, period. Yet here they were. He didn’t regret a thing. “Damn right.”

Rocky’s arms tightened around him and—for once in a very long time—everything felt right. Tomorrow would bring a different set of problems. He still had a team and the entire world set against him right now. Somehow, Rocky made all that feel manageable. Tomorrow would bring what it brought. Right now, he was exactly where he wanted to be.