Meggie #3
“Not if he gave you, a flaming idiot with a God complex, that letter,” she yelled.
“No, it wasn’t even that he brought it to you.
It was not going to Christopher after you destroyed the letter, so shut your mouth.
When I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it.
If you can’t keep your comments to yourself, you will leave my house.
” She swung her gaze back to her son and drew herself up. “Answer me, CJ.”
“Rory did nothing to me, Mom,” he said in a tortured voice.
“Either you’re a club member or a civilian,” Meggie told him. “I’m only Christopher’s wife and I’m greatly offended by Rory’s decision. Every action requires a reaction. That letter might’ve held the key to getting our lives back to normal.”
“But–”
“No buts. During lockdown, are only the members there?”
CJ shook his head.
“Why?”
“Because…because…”
“Because what happens to the club members affects their families,” she said, taking a bit of mercy on him. “I raised you to be Christopher and Outlaw’s son.”
“What does that even mean, Mom?” CJ snapped. “You’re a girl. You don’t even understand about club business.”
“CJ–” Christopher started, but Meggie shook her head.
She glared at Johnnie. “How dare you put Rory in such a predicament, jerk? If you didn’t have the guts to do the right thing, you should’ve encouraged your son to speak up. Maybe, you’d still have your stupid fingers.”
“I don’t need my fucking fingers to use my goddamn brain.”
“Your fingers are more useful than your brain will ever be, so shut up.”
Johnnie glowered at her.
“Megan, baby, we gotta talk.”
Meggie nodded at Christopher. “We do,” she agreed, “but let me finish with CJ first?”
Seeking his permission afforded him the respect he deserved in front of his club members. She needed to remind herself of the younger members, who didn’t understand her relationship with Christopher. Bringing Outlaw back to glory meant observing the rigid rules of authority.
“CJ–”
“Mom, I punched Rory a little while ago. But I made him turn around. I couldn’t look him in the eyes. I know what I did to you on behalf of the club was wrong, but it wasn’t violent.”
“I understand, son.”
Digger shook his head in disapproval. “Little bruh, how the fuck you fucking a motherfucker up if you can’t look him in the eye?”
“Dead is dead.” Meggie glared from Digger to Johnnie. “Why can’t you shoot someone in the back of the head if that’s the only way to do the job, CJ?”
Christopher gasped, looking as if she’d just killed someone. “What the fuck you said?”
“I thought you would be happy, Mom. You don’t want me in the club…I don’t know anymore,” CJ said sadly.
“Now, CJ. I don’t want you to join the club now.
I’m not happy that you’re so unhappy. We had a plan…
Never mind.” They discussed those plans ad nauseum.
They’d changed. Life changed, so she needed to stop languishing over what was.
“You have rules in the club, CJ,” Meggie said. “You follow them or face punishment.”
“You’ve always taught me to respect the rights of others. You’ve taught me fairness.”
“I taught you what you needed to know until it was Christopher’s time to take you under his wing, son.”
“You have a No-Kill list.”
“Doesn’t prevent anyone’s beatings,” she reminded him. “Sometimes severely. If it makes you feel better, my rule for you are the same as Diesel and your daddy’s. You or them, it’s them. Always. Every time. Wear a blindfold or cover their eyes, but take them down and carry on.”
“You won’t be disappointed in me, Mom?”
“I want you to graduate high school, CJ. Knowing you won’t is the only thing that disappoints me. Other than that, I’m very proud of you.”
He studied her and she gave him a gentle smile.
“Choose your friends wisely, love. You don’t have to please everyone to show you’re one of the guys.
What Dementor and all those stupidly named men did to you altered your life view.
We’ll get you whatever you need to help you through this.
You did nothing wrong. It was all on them, son. ”
CJ darted his gaze to Christopher, then back to her and swallowed. “I want to be like Dad.”
“You aren’t Christopher. You’re you. Respect him.
Admire him. Take his advice but stand tall and become your own man.
That lesson is what I hoped you leaned most of all.
You have the best of me and Christopher.
Use that to your advantage. But, son, sometimes the worst of us will be required.
Do you understand me? Times when respect, fairness, and negotiations need to be tossed out.
When fists and knives are thrown and guns blaze.
If it takes bringing down a legion, I don’t care. Come home. Stay alive.”
CJ nodded.
“Learn how to strategize.” She thrust her chin toward Kaia and Bishop. “Build your support.”
“Okay, Mom.”
“Club life is hard. Your father is so good at what he does because he, despite everything, is fair. He uses cold logic until other means are required. Don’t be so impatient. You’re just learning the ropes. First rule is listen to your president and officers of the club.”
“Do you…do you agree with Dad that I’m not cut out for the club, Mom?”
Father and son winced at CJ’s question, pressed their lips together, and stared at her. Whatever she wanted, they’d do, and it was so tempting to say, yes, CJ, I agree.
“CJ, love, you convinced yourself what Rory did wasn’t about you because of me,” she said.
“You told yourself punching Rory for a letter you never saw would open you up to retribution. You see yourself as his protector not his punisher. I think you need a break to really heal. A month or two? Find CJ. Not my son or your daddy’s.
You. If you can’t do school, drop out. But no one will rush you.
You still have over a year until you’re eighteen, so to answer your question.
I think you’re more than cut out. I think you’re smart and brave and loyal.
You’re my son. More than that, you’re my husband’s son.
A Caldwell. A Foy. Christopher Joseph Foy Caldwell.
You need a little fine tuning, but, CJ, you were born ready. ”
“I love you so fuckin’ much, Megan.”
“I love you, too, Christopher.” Her stomach growled and she looked glumly at the mess of her kitchen and no food in sight. Just her cook and her cleaning guy hanging onto her every word. “We’ll order some pizzas,” she announced. “Digger, let’s go—”
“Mom!” Axel screamed, barreling through the crowd from the direction of the mudroom, although she smelled him before she saw him. “They want to give me a shit bath!”
Memories of PoopGate invaded her, and she recoiled at the slop covering Axel.
“We found the proper stabilizer, so we was gathering fresh manure to make our bombs to blow up Nardo and Uncle Cash and—”
Ryder and Ransom rushed in, buckets poised. If Christopher hadn’t planted himself in front of her, she would’ve been doused in poop again.
Luckily, he took the brunt of it.