Chapter Forty-Eight—CJ #2
“It isn’t your place to apologize,” Mom said.
“But you’re the head of your family. Tell Bunny you’ll build the stupid house.
” She held out her hand. “Give me the cashier’s check.
I’ll deposit it and transfer it back to you through the account you receive dividends from our investments.
I’ll talk to Christopher about extending the road, sewer, water, and power lines.
Bunny and Digger’s anniversary is coming up.
I’ll tell Christopher their anniversary present from us will be the infrastructure.
You build the house. But, Mortician, get Digger in line.
I don’t care how. I’m sick of his resentment and his name calling. ”
“I know. Although I don’t have a right to even say this, one of my worst fears is I’ll have to execute him because he’s a stupid motherfucker.”
“That’ll never happen,” Mom promised.
“I know you’ll talk to Prez and—”
“No, Mortician, you misunderstand me. I’d never have you kill your own brother. I won’t tell Christopher. I’ll talk to Diesel.”
Goddamn. Even Rebel’s eyes widened. Everyone else just stared at Mom in silence.
“Meggie–”
“Digger had absolutely no reason to call me a cunt to my daughter.” Her lips trembling, she lifted her chin.
“You want Outlaw back? Then he needs the respect of his members. If they are bold enough to treat me like dirt, then it shows how they feel about him. You will not tell me to fall back in line while still allowing your brother to undermine Christopher.”
“I understand, Meggie,” Uncle Mort said quietly.
“Johnnie has one more thing to do to me,” she added.
“And I’ll see that Diesel makes him disappear.
Most of your time is accounted for and you’re one of Kendall’s best friends.
Diesel isn’t an officer and can come and go without question.
I intend to talk to Kendall because I don’t think it’s fair to her that her husband might die because he’s a jackass.
But I’m tired of being targeted by him simply for loving my husband.
I’m sick of having a bull’s eye on my back because I’m Bunny’s friend.
Frankly, it’s getting old. Bailey, Kendall, Zoann, and Bunny have degrees and careers.
No one has ever respected my decision to focus on my family.
That’s on them. What’s on me is how I’ve overlooked it in the interest of peace.
I’m no one’s gatekeeper. If they want to die because they’re idiots, stick their stupid noses in my private life, and forget Christopher’s lifelong dedication to the club, well, I’ll gladly oblige them. Get. Digger. In. Line,” she growled.
Uncle Mort nodded.
She got to her feet. “Kaia, Bishop, start cleaning the poop. As soon as Ryder, Ransom, and Axel return, they’ll help. Rebel, CJ, come with me.”
“Uh, dinner?” Bishop swallowed, a little green around the gills. CJ wasn’t sure if it was because of the stench or Mom. “Ma’am?”
She lifted her brow at Bishop.
“Er, M-Mrs. Caldwell?”
“Have you ever called me anything other than Meggie?” Mom asked in exasperation.
“Uh, n-no…uh-uh,” he amended, shaking his head vigorously.
“There’s no reason for you to change,” she told him.
“Okay. Okay, Meggie. Okay.”
“I have a bunch of menus in that drawer.” She pointed to a drawer near Bishop.
“Use the card for the expense account to order our meal. If you don’t want to walk to the club, call there and have Huck, Torrin, or Potter bring it here.
They can get in the gate at the beginning of the trail but you still have to meet them at our gate. ”
Uncle Mortician hadn’t moved from his seat, so Mom halted, stood on tiptoe as he simultaneously bent his head, and kissed him on the cheek.
In the den, Mom nodded to two barstools at Dad’s bar, walked behind it and pulled out two beers from the mini refrigerator at the bottom. She slid one to Rebel and one to CJ and got bottled water for herself.
“Mom, you really should drink on more than special occasions,” Rebel said, then drank deeply from her bottle.
Mom wrinkled her nose. “My not drinking has a lot to do with my stepfather,” she admitted.
Rebel lifted a brow. “Why? You got in trouble with him for drinking?”
“It’s what happened when he drank,” Mom said.
“Then shouldn’t you not want Daddy to drink?”
“I’ve always had an almost unrealistic trust in your father, love.”
“Take the almost out of it,” Rebel grumbled.
Mom sipped her water. “I said exactly what I meant. It was almost unrealistic because I never demanded Christopher not drink. I had faith that he’d never harm me.”
Eyeing her, Rebel drank again. “And look how that turned out,” she scoffed as she set the bottle on the bar.
“Exactly as I expected, sweetheart.”
“Must be a pretty boring life,” Rebel sniped.
“Mom doesn’t mean that way,” CJ snapped. “She means Dad was never a mean drunk.”
Nodding, Mom smiled. “I was wondering when you’d enter the building. And, yeah, Reb, CJ’s right. Christopher has never been a mean drunk. He never attacked me.”
“I beg to differ,” Rebel said.
“Your father has never tried to force me into sex, Rebel,” Mom snapped. “You must stop interfering in my fights. No matter who it’s between. If I need your help, I will ask. I appreciate your loyalty and I need your tender, love, and care in the aftermath.”
“But Momma—”
Mom shook her head. “No, Reb. We’re at a critical stage right now. I don’t want either Digger or Johnnie to die, but I’m sick of them. Your interference just weakens me further in their eyes.”
“I thought you appreciated it,” Rebel said in a small voice. “You don’t call me down.”
“I have once or twice and you ignore me. And I do appreciate it. We all have roles to play. We’re all key players in a very complicated world.
Respect is everything. No one can earn it for you.
You have to stand on your own merits. You and I can plot in private.
In public, unless I ask for your assistance, allow me to fight my own battles, sweetheart.
When you undermine me, you undermine Christopher. ”
Rebel stiffened. “He shouldn’t factor into this—”
“I’ve spent my life being his old lady. He especially factors into this.
He will ruin his club to protect me. A weakened me means a weakened him.
My disrespect leads to his. His disrespect leads to mine.
It’s a chess match, Rebel. You cannot exist on brawn alone.
You’ve got to use your brain, too. And diplomacy. ”
Tears pooled in Rebel’s eyes and she clenched her jaw.
Mom sighed. “Go upstairs and take a hot bath. I’ll come and check on you in a little while so we can talk a little more.”
“Do you mind if I smoke, Mom?” CJ asked once his little sister ran out of the room.
“Not at all, son.”
Several minutes of silence passed while CJ enjoyed his beer and his cigarette.
Mom smiled and held up her phone. “Stretch wiped the serves of my confrontation with Digger. Disaster somewhat averted. Christopher will be quite suspicious about all this “lost” footage.”
CJ nodded.
“So…” Mom finished her water, sat the empty container aside, and leaned against the bar. “How do you feel about everything?”
“No way,” he admitted. “I was just watching.”
“I noticed. An outsider looking in, CJ.”
Guilt rushed through him.
“I almost understand Christopher’s stance.”
“Mom!”
“Except it’s unfair to pull the rug from under you at this late date.”
“But?”
“But my son is fiercely protective of me. He’s fiercely loyal to his Uncle Mort. That CJ would’ve been as angry as his sister. He would’ve had thoughts and opinions.”
CJ had merely watched the goings-on like an unwilling narrator in a crime novel. His brain processed the events; his thoughts shut down. As much as he tried to completely reenter life, he couldn’t re-engage.
“It’s okay to be angry. It isn’t okay to be reticent,” Mom scolded.
“I fought Dad today.”
“Ahh, that explains it.” Mom indicated his bruised face with a sweep of her hand. “Soooo…? When you say fought, I assume you threw the first punch?”
“Yeah, Mom?”
“You aren’t too injured, so he went easy on you.”
He couldn’t detect her mood, so he shrugged and glanced away.
“Did you fight your father or your club president?”
“Does it matter? I still lost.”
“As you should have,” Mom said evenly. “If Christopher was abusive, I would cheer you. He isn’t.
He’s a good father and a good man. Does he make you angry?
I’m sure he does. I love him with all my heart and he infuriates me.
If you lashed out at Outlaw, then you’re just as wrong.
That can get you severely punished. You know the club rules. ”
“What do you want me to say, Mom?” CJ demanded. Unlike her talk in the kitchen, she sounded angry. He already knew he couldn’t get himself together. She didn’t have to make him feel like shit and harp on that point. “Dad fought Big Joe.”
“Are you Christopher?”
“Of course not! Which you already told me, so why do you keep asking? Or pointing that out. I’m not Dad. I get it!”
“Now, you’re turning into Johnnie.”
CJ’s mouth fell open. Of all the motherfuckers to compare him to, it offended him she chose the worst of the fucking lot. What a grave fucking insult!
“The only person who has the problem with Johnnie not being Christopher is Johnnie. When I tell him I chose Christopher because he wasn’t Christopher, he took that meaning literally.
Even after I qualified it was because I was already in love with your daddy.
He’s an idiot and you’re turning into one as well.
You aren’t Christopher, CJ. Deal with it. ”
“Everyone else wants me to be Dad.”
“Fuck everyone else, son!” Mom yelled, her face reddening. “Tell you what. You want to be like Christopher? Stop caring what everyone else thinks, do what needs to be done, and you will be him to the ‘T’.”
CJ gave his mother a sullen glare. Folding her arms, she glowered at him.
“I think you need to see a counselor,” she finally announced.
“What? No! If the brothers ever found out, they’d think I was nothing but a weakling. I can’t be a club president in therapy.”
“Tony Soprano had a psychiatrist.”
CJ squinted. “Uh, the character from the TV show?”
“I had to spend my time some way over the course of my many pregnancies.”
“But that’s fiction. Family man by night and mob boss by day.”
“Mob boss whenever the need called for it, but family man all the time. He just set it aside when his job required.”
“You’re calling what he did a job?” CJ asked with a grin. “And I maintain that’s fiction. Not real life.”
“Biker by day. Family man always. Outlaw and Christopher.” She gave him a pointed look. “All fiction has kernels of truth, potato. Truth is stranger than fiction. You can’t make this up. All applicable. Use whatever metaphor that pleases you.”
“I don’t want a counselor, Mom.”
“Perhaps, but I think you need one. Who knows? Maybe we’ll all benefit. Ransom saw a woman die. The Triplets are obsessed with poop. Rebel is like a zombie. I’m overwhelmed and trying to hold it together. You’ve lost yourself. Christopher has gone insane.”
“Dad doesn’t seem any different.”
“Wanting me to lengthen me legs, son? That’s madness!”
“He wasn’t serious. Besides, you’d weaken them by compromising the bone, muscle, and sinew.”
“I doubt he’s aware of that. My point is, something has to be done to put our family back on track. I’ll talk to Jordan. For obvious reasons, we can’t pick up the phone and schedule appointments with just any civilian.”
CJ thought of Skye. He wasn’t sure why she crossed his mind, but he’d been quite mean to her. He owed her an apology. “Mattie introduced me to a transfer student today. Her name’s Skye. Mr. Billson is replacing Molly as my partner, which I thought was settled and I’d enter for both of us.”
Mom gave him a thoughtful look. “What’s her last name?”
“I didn’t get it.”
“Get her full name, CJ. If she checks out, work with her no matter how hard. Mr. Billson probably paired her with you because it’s late in the school year and she needs the grade. Ridge Moore has very rigid academic requirements.”
“You think she’s a plant?”
“Anything’s possible. Bash is outsmarting the entire club. He covered his tracks with the Byrd brothers quite well. It took forever to learn they were Barts.”
“Bash is a drug addict.”
“It makes no difference, son. Everyone’s underestimating him because of his addiction. He’s still a Caldwell. Cee Cee’s son. From what Christopher told me, Cee Cee raised Bash. He knows what to do. Remember the chess match? Christopher is also engaged in one with Bash.”
“What can I do to help?”
“As long as you can’t get your head straight, there’s nothing you can do.”
“I could always befriend Skye,” CJ decided.
Mom sighed. “Unfortunately, that would require you going to school. We both know you’re already checked out.”
“No…I mean…well, yeah, but school isn’t the same.
It’s different without Molly there and without me and Harley close.
I can get to know Skye and…” He flushed.
“I mean, I know it’s more like club business than actually for school.
But I promise I’ll focus on my lessons. Mattie said she’s on the cheer team and everything. I’ll get back into football.”
“I don’t know, son…” She glanced away. “It’s a lot to put on you.”
For the first time in days, CJ perked up. Originally, he’d returned to school to watch the Barts. Then, Willard fucked with Rebel, and they both went underground.
“Please, Mom?” Skye was gorgeous, so the assignment would be so much easier. And, maybe, Mr. Billson would still allow him to enter Molly’s name, too. “Dad will send me to school anyway. I might as well—”
“Fine!” she huffed. “If I think your mind isn’t in it, I’ll tell your daddy what we’re doing and let him make the final decision.”
“I’ll get myself into shape.” Football took discipline and focus. He’d probably benefit in returning to the team, which was what Dad wanted. And Skye was on the cheer team, so he’d see her more often. “I’ll speak to Coach Yancy.”
“Okay,” Mom said, sighing again.
CJ slid from the stool. “I’ll email him tonight so he’ll see it first thing in the morning and expect me.”
Mom gave him a skeptical look, but CJ knew she wouldn’t stop him. “I’ll walk up with you. I need to check on Rebel.”