7. Beau
Chapter 7
Beau
M y hands were shaking as I stood in the shower, watching the last of the steer blood wash away. I’d left Lucas down in the kitchen with Mable who, I assumed, was grilling him for information as fast as she could. And that, for some reason, made me more nervous than anything else. Mabel was the kind of woman that had a sixth sense about everyone and everything. Up until now I’d fooled her into thinking I was still into women. But now that she’d seen how nervous I was around Lucas, I had no doubt she’d figured it out in no time. In fact, she probably already had. And then there was Lucas himself. He didn’t know I was trying to keep things a secret, so what if he just up and told her everything about my reactions to him at the diner? I’d be doomed then.
I tried to calm down by telling myself that I didn’t actually know if Lucas was gay or not. I had a pretty good idea considering some of his hints at the diner. Not to mention there was his slick way of dressing and his wandering eyes. Then again, didn’t all city people dress nice? And were his eyes wandering or had he just never seen a real live cowboy before? I had no idea. What I was sure of though was that I needed to get back downstairs as fast as possible, make good on my half-assed promise to Lucas, and get him out of my life before anyone found out what was truly going on in my head.
Needless to say, the shower was short. I dried off quickly, throwing on a clean pair of jeans and a fresh shirt. As I fastened the last button, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My cheeks were flushed, and my eyes looked wild with panic. I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself before heading downstairs.
The sound of laughter drifted up from the kitchen, making my stomach churn. I descended the stairs slowly, each step feeling like I was walking towards my doom. As I reached the bottom, I heard Mabel's voice, warm and teasing.
“Oh, honey, you city boys are something else. I bet you've never even seen a real cowboy up close before today, have you?”
Lucas's reply was muffled, but I could hear the amusement in his tone. I paused at the kitchen doorway, my heart hammering in my chest. Lucas was sat at the kitchen table, a steaming mug of coffee sat in front of him despite the heat outside. Mabel cradled her own mug, her eyes full of laughter as she hung onto his every word.
“We’ve got a cowboy back home in New York I bet you’d love,” he said, taking a sip from his cup. “He wears nothing but a sequin flag thong and cowboy boots! Plays his guitar all up and down Times Square.”
“My god,” she gasped, pulling a hand to her lips. “Hopefully he’s at least good lookin’.”
“He’s about seventy,” Lucas replied. He leaned close, a grin on his face. “Between you and me, he’s shaped like a bullfrog and his guitar playing is even worse.”
“Good lord!” she laughed, patting his arm. “Sounds like my Frank when he forgets to put his pants on in the mornin’!”
They both laughed until I cleared my throat. I wasn’t particularly fond of how well they were getting on. The last thing I wanted was Lucas becoming a permanent guest in the Turner household. I stepped up to the table, looking down at Lucas .
“Well, you ready for those lessons?” I asked, trying to act as aloof as I could.
Lucas looked up at me, his green eyes twinkling with mischief. “Sure thing, cowboy. I'm ready when you are.”
I felt my cheeks flush at his words, and I quickly turned away, hoping Mabel hadn't noticed. “Alright then, let's head out to the barn.”
As we walked out of the kitchen, I could feel Mabel's eyes on us. I didn't dare look back, afraid of what I might see in her expression. The sweltering Texas air hit us as we stepped outside, and I led Lucas towards the barn, my boots kicking up dust with each step. I caught sight of the half butchered steer still hanging there and decided to take him around back. I didn’t need some city boy losing his lunch over a little blood.
“So, what exactly are you going to teach me?” Lucas asked, falling into step beside me. His shoulder brushed against mine, sending a jolt through my body.
I cleared my throat, trying to keep my voice steady. “Well, I reckon we'll start with the basics. Getting on, getting off, a slow trot, stuff like that.”
“I’m already good at getting on and getting off, I can tell you that.”
My heart did a somersault in my chest and my cheeks burned as I kept my gaze down. I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the double meaning in Lucas's words. “Right, well... let's see how you do with a horse then,” I muttered, leading him towards the corral where we kept our gentlest mare.
As we approached, I could feel Lucas's eyes on me. I risked a glance his way and caught him openly admiring my form. My breath hitched, and I quickly looked away, focusing on the task at hand. Of course, that didn’t stop my jeans from getting tight again.
As we approached, I spotted my favorite mare, Daisy, already saddled up and waiting at the back entrance to the barn. Dad must have gotten her ready while I was in the shower. I silently thanked him for his foresight, even if it meant he was meddling again.
“This here's Daisy,” I said, gesturing to the dappled gray mare staring back at us. “She's about as gentle as they come. Perfect for beginners.”
Lucas stepped forward, his eyes wide with a mix of awe and trepidation. “She's beautiful,” he breathed, reaching out a hand to stroke her nose.
I watched as Daisy nuzzled into his palm, and felt a rush of something warm through my chest. The way he so gently stroked her nose and ran his fingers reverently through her mane, it was more respect than most showed toward animals. Much more than I expected from a city slicker.
I cleared my throat, trying to shake off the warm feeling that was making my jeans even tighter for some reason. “Alright, let's get you up there,” I said, moving closer to Lucas. “First thing's first, you gotta put your left foot in the stirrup.”
Lucas nodded, his brow furrowed in concentration as he lifted his foot. He wobbled a bit, and I instinctively reached out to steady him, my hand landing on his waist. The heat of his body seeped through his thin shirt, and I quickly pulled away, my heart racing.
“Now, grab the horn of the saddle with your left hand, and the back of the saddle with your right,” I instructed, my voice a little hoarse. “Then, push off with your right foot and swing your leg over.”
Lucas nodded, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he concentrated. He gripped the saddle horn tightly, his knuckles turning white. As he attempted to hoist himself up, his foot slipped from the stirrup, and he fell backward, his head rocketing toward the corner post of the barn.
Without thinking, I reached out and caught him, my arms wrapping around his waist. For a moment, we stood frozen, our bodies pressed together. I could feel the heat radiating off him, smell the faint scent of his cologne mingling with sweat. My heart pounded in my chest, and I was sure he could feel it against his back.
“Whoa there, city boy,” I said, placing him back on the ground.
But when I tried to let him go, I realized he was gripping my arm tightly still, his hand shaking.
“It’s alright,” I cooed, patting his side. “You’re okay. I gotcha.”
Lucas turned to face me, his green eyes wide with a mix of fear and gratitude. “Thanks,” he said softly, his breath warm against my cheek. We were still standing close, too close, and I could feel the heat radiating off his body.
I cleared my throat. “No problem. That's why I'm here, to make sure you don't hurt yourself.”
“I guess I'm not as good at getting on as I thought.”
I chuckled nervously, acutely aware of how close we were still standing. “Don't worry about it. Everyone falls their first time.”
His lips quirked into a smirk. “Is that so?”
I felt my cheeks flush again, realizing the double entendre in my words. “I meant... with horses,” I stammered.
Lucas's eyes twinkled with amusement. “Of course you did, cowboy.”
We stood there for a moment, neither of us moving away. I could feel the warmth of his breath on my face, see the flecks of gold in his green eyes. My heart was racing, and I knew I should step back, but for some reason, my feet refused to budge. I could feel the warmth of his breath on my face, and it took every ounce of willpower I had not to lean in closer.
“I’m not sure I’m cut out for this cowboy stuff after all,” he said at last.
“Nonsense,” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady. “Everyone falls their first time. You just gotta get back on the horse, so to speak.”
He chuckled nervously, his hand still gripping my arm. “I don't know if I can,” he admitted, his eyes darting between me and Daisy.
Something in his vulnerable expression made my heart twist. I found myself wanting to protect him, to show him that he could do this. “Sure you can,” I said softly. “Here, let me help you.”
I moved behind Lucas, placing my hands gently on his waist. “I'll give you a boost,” I said, my voice low. “Just like before, left foot in the stirrup, hands on the saddle.”
Lucas nodded, his body tense under my touch. He placed his foot in the stirrup, gripping the saddle tightly. I could feel the muscles in his back flex as he prepared to hoist himself up.
“On three,” I said, my breath tickling the back of his neck. “One... two... three!”
I lifted as Lucas pushed off the ground, my hands steadying him as he swung his leg over Daisy's back. For a moment, he wobbled precariously, and I tightened my grip on his hips to keep him from falling.
“Easy now,” I murmured, slowly releasing my hold as he found his balance. “You're doing great.”
This time, he managed to settle into the saddle, though his grip on the horn was still white-knuckled.
“There you go,” I said, unable to keep the pride out of my voice. “You did it!”
Lucas beamed down at me, his green eyes sparkling with excitement. “I did it!” he exclaimed, his smile wide and infectious. “I'm actually on a horse!”
I couldn't help but grin back, feeling a surge of warmth in my chest at his enthusiasm. “You sure are, city boy. Now, let's see if we can get you moving.”
I walked around to Daisy's head, gently taking hold of her bridle. “We're gonna start real slow, okay? Just a nice, easy walk.”
Lucas nodded, his expression a mix of determination and nervousness. I began to lead Daisy forward, keeping a close eye on Lucas. He swayed slightly in the saddle, his body tense and rigid.
“Relax,” I called out softly. “Try to move with her. Let your hips roll with her gait.”
I watched as Lucas attempted to follow my instructions. His movements were stiff and clunky to begin with, but by the time we’d made a full pass around the corral, he was starting to loosen up a bit. Another round and we were riding like he’d been doing it for years. And Daisy, bless her heart, was as patient as she could be, letting this newbie kick and squeeze her all the way around the yard.
As we made our third lap around the corral, I couldn't help but notice how natural Lucas looked up there. His initial nervousness had melted away, replaced by a look of pure joy. The sun caught his dark hair, highlighting the hints of auburn I hadn’t noticed before, and his green eyes sparkled with excitement. I found myself staring, mesmerized by the sight of him.
“How am I doing, cowboy?” Lucas called out, flashing me a grin that made my heart skip a beat.
I quickly averted my gaze, focusing on Daisy's hooves. “Not bad for a city slicker,” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady. “You're a natural.”
Lucas laughed, the sound warm and rich. “I think I'm starting to see the appeal of this cowboy life,” he said, patting Daisy's neck affectionately.
I glanced up at him, unable to keep my eyes averted for long. He looked so good in that saddle, the sun blazing behind him, his body rolling easily with the movements of the animal below him. I caught myself wondering if he could ever give up his life for a place like Sagebrush. If he could ever settle for someone like me.
I quickly shook those thoughts from my head. It was dangerous to let my mind wander down that path. Having a fantasy was one thing, but catching feelings… that was the real killer. Instead, I focused on the task at hand, guiding Daisy and Lucas around the corral once more.
“Alright, let's try something a little more challengin’,” I said, coming to a stop near the fence. “I'm gonna let go of the bridle, and you're gonna guide her yourself.”
Lucas's eyes widened slightly, a flicker of nervousness crossing his face. “You sure about that?”
I nodded, offering him a reassuring smile. “You've got this. Just remember what I told you about using the reins.”
Slowly, I released my hold on Daisy's bridle and stepped back. Lucas took a deep breath, his hands tightening on the reins.
“Okay, girl,” he murmured to Daisy. “Giddyup, I guess.”
And then, for some unknown reason, probably because of watching too many movies, he gave her a kick. Daisy, knowing what that meant, took off at a dead run.
“FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!” Lucas cried as Daisy tore across the corral, ducked through a gate, and went galloping through the pasture.
Without a moment’s hesitation, I bolted across the corral to Willow who’d been watching us for some time. Grabbing a handful of her mane, I swung myself up onto her back and gave her a kick.
“Hyah!” I cried, taking off across the pasture as fast as I could.
Thankfully, Daisy was old and slow, and Willow was not one to be outrun by an old nag. I urged Willow faster, my heart pounding as we gained on Daisy and Lucas. The wind whipped through my hair, and I could hear Lucas's panicked shouts growing louder as we closed the distance.
“Hold on tight!” I yelled, leaning forward in the saddle. “Pull back on the reins!”
Lucas was bouncing wildly in the saddle, his face a mask of terror. He managed to glance back at me, his eyes wide with fear. “I can't!” he cried. “She won't stop!”
I gritted my teeth, pushing Willow harder. We were almost alongside Daisy now, and I could see Lucas's white-knuckled grip on the saddle horn. In one fluid motion, I reached out and grabbed Daisy's bridle, pulling hard.
“Whoa, girl!” I shouted, my voice firm, but calm. “Whoa!”
Between Lucas pulling on the reins, my voice, and Willow beside Daisy, she seemed to finally get the hint. At last, I saw her slow and come to a stop. I slid off Willow’s back, rushing over to the other horse as her rider started to lean dangerously to one side. I caught Lucas as he fell, his weight knocking me back a step. His arms wrapped tightly around my neck, face buried against my chest as he trembled. I could feel his heart racing, matching the frantic beat of my own.
“It's alright,” I murmured, my hands gripping him tightly. “You're safe now. I've got you.”
Lucas didn’t try to get down. Instead, he clung to me, his breath coming in short, panicked gasps. I held him close, my own adrenaline still pumping from the chase. For a long moment, we just stood there, the only sounds were our ragged breathing and the gentle nickering of the horses.
Slowly, Lucas lifted his head, his green eyes meeting mine. There was a sensitivity there I hadn't seen before, a mix of fear and gratitude that made my heart clench.
“You… You saved me,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “You saved my life, cowboy.”
In that moment I felt something dangerous bloom in my chest, a feeling so deep that I didn’t know I was capable of. However, that was nothing compared to the elation I felt the next moment as Lucas’s lips pressed to my cheek, his arms tightening around my neck.
“Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you.”
All I could do was stand there in stunned silence, this man cradled in my arms in the middle of my family pasture. At that moment I could only be sure of one thing.
I was in big fucking trouble.