17. Beau
Chapter 17
Beau
D olly stared at me from the other side of the counter, her acrylic nails drumming on the wood dangerously.
“You gonna go after him?” she asked, a hint of irritation in her voice.
“He… he seemed like he wanted to be alone,” I replied, feeling more stupid by the moment.
Dolly let out a long sigh. “Darlin’, you can’t tell me you don’t know what’s goin’ on.”
I shook my head. I really didn’t understand. I knew I had some pretty intense feelings about Lucas, but I also knew they would never come to fruition. No matter how badly I wanted him to stay, it just wasn’t going to happen. So, I saw no point in getting myself worked up over something I couldn’t have.
“That boy is in love with you,” she said, pointing toward the door that Lucas had just stormed out of. “And he is strugglin’ with that. And you’ve got the nerve to sit over here and tell him you’re never gonna ask him to stay? You just broke that poor boy’s heart.”
My stomach twisted into a tight knot. “I… I did? ”
“Yes, you dummy!” she screeched. “Now get the lead out and go after him before I call Mabel and tell her what you did!”
I was on my feet in an instant. Dolly was scary enough, but Mabel, the woman who’d raised me, was downright terrifying when she was mad. I’d only seen it once or twice in my life and I never wanted to be on the receiving end of her ire.
However, before I could get far, I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Beau,” Dolly said, her voice firm. “I’m gonna give you some unsolicited advice.” She held up one red talon, pointing it directly in my face. “Don’t you dare let fear stop you from following your heart, you hear me? Love isn’t just something that comes along every couple of months. Don’t waste this opportunity because you’re scared of what people might say. Their words ain’t worth your happiness, ya hear?”
I nodded. “Yes ma’am.”
“Good,” she said, letting go of me. “Now get the hell out of here and don’t come back unless you have that boy on your arm!”
I didn’t need to be told twice. I burst out of the diner, my heart pounding in my chest. The sun had already set, casting the entire world in darkness. The moon and stars twinkled above, lending some light to the scene at least. I scanned the area, desperately searching for any sign of Lucas and his rental car.
But both were gone. All that was left was a cloud of dust heading north.
I didn't hesitate. I sprinted to my rusty old truck, fumbling with the keys as I climbed in. The engine roared to life, and I peeled out of the parking lot, gravel crunching under my tires. My hands gripped the steering wheel so tight my knuckles turned white as I sped down the road, following the trail of dust.
My mind raced faster than my truck. How could I have been so blind? All this time, I'd been pushing down my feelings, convinced they were one-sided. But now, knowing Lucas felt the same way... It was like a dam had burst inside me, and all those pent-up emotions came flooding out.
I spotted his rental car in the distance, its taillights glowing red in the darkness. My heart leaped into my throat. “Come on, come on,” I muttered, pressing down harder on the gas pedal.
The old truck groaned in protest as I pushed it to its limits, the speedometer creeping past eighty. The gap between us was closing, but not fast enough. I could see Lucas's rental car swerving slightly on the road ahead, and my heart clenched with worry. Was he crying? The thought of him upset because of me made my chest ache.
“Lucas!” I shouted, even though I knew he couldn't hear me. I honked my horn repeatedly, flashing my headlights in a desperate attempt to get his attention.
Finally, his brake lights flared red, and the rental car slowed, pulling over to the side of the road well outside of town. I stomped on my brakes, sending up a cloud of dust as I skidded to a stop behind him. My hands were shaking as I fumbled with the door handle, nearly falling out of the truck in my haste.
Lucas was already out of his car, standing in the beams of my headlights. His face was a mix of confusion and something else - hope, maybe? I flipped my lights off as my heart hammered in my chest. I approached him, my boots kicking up little puffs of dust with each step.
“Beau?” he called out, his voice rough with emotion. It sounded like he’d been crying. “What are you doing here?”
I stopped a few feet away from him, suddenly unsure of what to say. All the words I'd rehearsed in my head on the drive over seemed to evaporate. I swallowed hard, trying to find my voice.
“I... I couldn't let you leave like that,” I finally managed, my Texas drawl thicker than usual with nerves. “Not without telling you...”
Lucas took a step closer, his green eyes searching my face. “Telling me what?”
“I... I'm an idiot,” I blurted out. “Lucas, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize... I thought...”
He took a step closer, his green eyes searching my face. “Thought what, Beau? ”
I swallowed hard, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “I thought you couldn't possibly feel the same way about me as I did about you. That you’d never want anything to do with a backwater cowboy like me that’s got nothing to offer you…” I took a deep breath. “I’m nothing but dirt roads and rusty pickups,” I said, scuffing my boots on the ground. I looked up at Lucas, his sparkling green eyes catching mine. “And you’re clean, shiny, and your eyes… they look like they’re full of stardust. What could I ever offer you that would entice you to stay? To give up everything you love?”
Lucas's eyes softened, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He closed the distance between us, reaching out to take my calloused hand in his.
“Beau,” he said softly, his voice filled with warmth. “You're not just dirt roads and rusty pickups. You're... you're wide-open skies and endless possibilities. You're strength and kindness wrapped up in one gorgeous package.”
My breath caught in my throat as he continued, his thumb tracing circles on the back of my hand. I watched as something inside him gave way, his true feelings released at last as the tears continued down his cheeks.
“And those things I love back in New York? They're nothing compared to what I feel for you. The city lights can't hold a candle to the stars in your eyes.”
I felt my cheeks flush, unused to such open admiration. “But your life, your career...”
Lucas shook his head, cutting me off. “My life feels more real here than it ever has anywhere else.” Suddenly he was pressed up against me, his warmth seeping through my clothing. “I want you so bad cowboy… but I just… I can’t…”
I stared into those green eyes, my chest tight with anxiety. “What if…” I cleared my throat, giving me a moment to find my courage. “What if I asked you to stay? Would that help?”
Lucas let out a choked sob that turned into a laugh, his mouth never curling into a smile. “You don’t want me, Beau. I’m… I’m not the guy you think I am.”
I felt my heart clench at Lucas's words. “What do you mean?” I asked softly, my hand instinctively reaching out to cup his cheek. “Lucas, I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I want you. All of you. No matter what.”
He leaned into my touch, his eyes closing briefly before meeting mine again. “Beau, I... I've been hiding things. From you, from everyone. My life in New York, it's not what you think. I'm not some hotshot marketing executive. I'm... I’m not a good guy.”
I felt a flicker of uncertainty, but I pushed it aside. Whatever Lucas was running from, we could face it together. “Tell me,” I urged gently. “Whatever it is, we'll figure it out.”
Lucas took a shaky breath, his head shaking. “I wish I could. But I can’t… and I can’t stay here in Sagebrush with you either. Once you know the truth, you won’t want me anyway.”
“Nothing could make me not want you,” I replied, my tone firm as I wrapped my arms around him. I pulled him in close, pressing a passionate kiss to his lips. “Do you think I could kiss you like that if I didn’t want you?”
“Beau…” he whispered, pressing his forehead to mine. “I want you so bad…”
“Then have me,” I said, pulling him closer. “Take whatever you want from me.” I reached down tipping his chin up so we were eye to eye. “I’m yours, Lucas. Even if you decide you can’t stay, I want to be yours.” I kissed him once more. “Just because a dream will end doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it while it’s happenin’.”
Lucas lunged, crashing against me with an intensity that I didn’t expect. But I welcomed it wholeheartedly. His lips were against mine, our tongues doing an intricate dance around one another. Already he was pushing me back against my truck, my hands cupping his ass.
Lucas's hands roamed over my chest, fingers fumbling with the buttons of my shirt. I groaned into his mouth, my own hands sliding under his waistband to feel the warm skin of his ass beneath. The cool metal of the truck pressed against my back, a stark contrast to the heat building between us.
“Beau,” Lucas panted, breaking the kiss to trail his lips along my jaw. “Are you sure about this?”
“Stop askin’ me that,” I replied, my voice raspy with need. I tilted my head, giving him better access to my neck. “Want you so bad, Lucas.”
He nipped at my collarbone, eliciting a low moan from me. “We shouldn't do this here,” he murmured, even as his hips pressed against mine. “On the side of the road…”
I chuckled breathlessly. “Darlin', we're miles from anywhere. Ain’t nobody gonna see us.”
Lucas groaned, his resolve crumbling. “God, you're right. I can't resist you anyway.” His hands slid down to my belt, deftly unbuckling it. “I dream about this every night Beau…”
I captured his lips in another searing kiss, my fingers tangling in his dark hair. The cool night air nipped at our skin as we shed our clothes, but the heat between us was scorching. Lucas's hands roamed over my chest, tracing the lines of my muscles, as I pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses down his neck.
“Turn around,” I growled, my voice husky with desire. Lucas complied, bracing himself against the side of my truck. I pressed myself against his back, my hands exploring every inch of his body. “You're so beautiful,” I murmured, nipping at his earlobe.
Lucas moaned softly as I pressed against him, his body trembling with anticipation. I ran my hands down his sides, relishing the feel of his smooth skin under my calloused palms. My lips trailed kisses along his neck and shoulders as I pressed him gently against the truck.
“Beau,” he gasped, pushing back against me. “Please, I need you.”
I growled low in my throat, overcome with desire. “I've got you, darlin',” I murmured. “Don’t you worry about a thing. ”
With one swift motion I unbuttoned his jeans and dropped them around his ankles. My lips trailed down his back and then to his ass cheeks, leaving little nibbles along his skin. Thinking back to something I saw online, I grabbed his ass, spread him wide, and pressed my tongue to his hole.
Lucas gasped, his body tensing then melting against the truck. “Oh god, Beau,” he moaned, pushing back against my exploring tongue.
I took my time, savoring his taste and the little sounds of pleasure escaping his lips. My hands kneaded his firm cheeks as I licked and probed, feeling him relax and open up to me. When I finally pulled back, we were both panting heavily.
“You okay?” I asked, pressing a kiss to the small of his back.
Lucas nodded, his voice rough with need. “More than okay. Please, Beau, I need you inside me.”
I straightened up, my hands caressing his sides. “You sure? I didn’t bring any protection.”
He turned his head, green eyes glimmering in the starlight. “I'm sure. I want all of you, cowboy.” He reached back, kissing me once more. “I trust you.”
Groaning, I carefully prepared him, taking my time despite the urgency of our need. When I finally pushed into him, we both cried out in pleasure. I set a slow, deep rhythm, savoring every sensation as our bodies moved together under the starry Texas sky.
Lucas reached back, tangling his fingers in my hair as I thrust into him. I quickened my pace, knowing we were out in the open and didn’t have much time. Still, I was mostly driven by the intoxicating sounds Lucas was making. His fingers tightened in my hair as I hit a particularly sensitive spot, causing him to cry out.
“Right there, Beau,” he gasped. “Don't stop.”
I obliged, angling my hips to hit that same spot over and over. The cool metal of the truck creaked beneath us, our heavy breathing and moans the only other sounds in the still night air.
My hands roamed Lucas's body, tracing the lean muscles of his torso before wrapping around to stroke him in time with my thrusts. He shuddered against me, his back arching as he pushed back to meet each of my movements.
“Lucas,” I groaned, feeling my release building. “I'm close, darlin'.”
“Me too,” he panted in reply.
“Let go,” I whispered in his ear, my voice husky with desire. “I've got you.”
With a cry, Lucas tensed and shuddered against me, his release spilling over my hand. The feeling of him tightening around me pushed me over the edge, and I buried myself deep inside him as I came, gasping his name.
We stayed like that for a long moment, panting and trembling in the aftermath. I pressed soft kisses to his shoulder and neck, my arms wrapped tightly around him. Finally, I eased out of him, turning him gently to face me.
Lucas's eyes were bright, his cheeks flushed. He looked more beautiful than ever in the starlight. I cupped his face in my hands, kissing him tenderly.
“That was...” he started, then shook his head, smiling. “I don't even have words.”
“It’s always that way when I’m with you,” I replied, kissing him again.
Lucas stared at me, the smile on his face slowly fading away. “I wish…”
I nodded, pressing my forehead to his. “I know.”