Ryder (Phoenix MC #1)

Epilogue One

W e spent the few days after the ‘ceremony’ in our room, as normal, although each day, Ryder made a point of taking me out on his bike, wanting me to feel the same rush of excitement that I’d felt that first time, and it didn’t fail.

Every time was amazing. Having to hold on tight to his firm body was part of the fun for me. Touching him, and holding him was becoming so much easier, even with him conscious. The trouble was that I still freaked out if he touched me .

Hugs were fine. Even kissing was fine. I’d discovered that kissing was fucking amazing, and I wanted him kissing me as often as possible. The trouble with that was that it made us both horny as hell, and then the most I could manage was some mutual masturbation to get us off.

He said it was fine. He said that it was enough, but I knew it wasn’t. It wasn’t enough for me, so how could it be enough for him?

And on the third night after our ‘biker marriage’, I was getting ready for bed, frustrated and horny, after a long kissing session, wishing I could be normal just for fucking once.

A knock on the door drew Ryder away for a few moments, and then he let Ice into the room. I hadn’t seen him since the day we got our tattoos, but he looked tired as always, and frustrated.

“Everything okay?” I asked, and he nodded, waving at me.

“Did you get it?” Ryder asked him, tossing aside the t-shirt that he’d removed, just before the knock on the door.

“You wanna stand back with those fucking man nipples?” Ice walked past him, sniggering to himself. I was just relieved that I was still dressed.

“Want something to drink?” I asked Ice, knowing that he didn’t touch alcohol, but I could make coffee. Ryder had been filling me in on his brothers, on the things I should know, and the things that made them the unique people they were. Finding out how Torch got his road name was something I wished I could forget.

Ice shook his head, looking more frustrated by the second. What the hell was going on with him?

“Look, man. Yes. I got it. Are you sure about this?”

He was staring urgently at Ryder, and I had no idea what they were talking about.

“What’s going on?”

I stepped closer to both men, as they faced off with each other.

“Yes, I’m sure. How much did you get?”

Ice cursed, clenching his jaw before he spoke again.

“Fuck’s sake, enough for a few times, I think. I might be able to get more later. I’m… uh… I have a connection there now.”

What the hell was going on?

“Any instructions on using it?”

Ice cursed again, dragging a hand through his hair.

“Dude, I have what they told me, but… this shit … I mean, with the other stuff, at least we all know what it is. I have no idea what this stuff is, or how risky it is.”

Ryder looked at me then, his words sending a chill down my spine.

“Did that asshole tell you about the drug he dosed you with?”

I blinked dumbly, my brain having difficulty catching up with his words.

“What?”

“When that bastard took you, he gave you something. It made you unable to move, but you were awake. Aware. You could feel.”

Jesus. My legs trembled, and I backed up to sit on the nearest chair.

“My god, why are you asking me about that now? I’m trying so hard to forget about it. About him.”

Ryder crouched in front of me.

“ Ice managed to get hold of some .”

My eyes went from Ryder to Ice, who looked even more freaked out.

“What? How?”

Ice groaned, one hand sliding into the pocket of his cut.

“Found details on everything that bastard owned, didn’t I? I know what lab he was forcing to work on this shit.” He withdrew his hand, and held up a syringe that looked terrifyingly familiar.

“Oh god. Oh GOD! Why do you have that?”

Had I completely misjudged Ryder? Was he just as bad as Dom? Was I wrong to trust him so completely, after so little time?

“Baby, calm down. It’s not going in you. It’s going in me .”

What? I started shaking my head, enough that it was making me feel lightheaded. He couldn’t mean that. He couldn’t be saying these things to me right now. How could he do this to me now?

“Yes. Look, we can’t keep pissing around with street drugs. Who knows what they’re dosing that shit with, or cutting it with, or whatever. This is lab made. This… this will let me experience it with you , baby. I’ll be aware. I’ll be able to feel you touching me, and fucking me.”

“Jesus. Do I have to be here for this?”

Ryder turned his head to glare at Ice.

“Yeah, you do actually. You’re our safety net.”

“What?” He looked furious all of a sudden. “You fucker. How exactly am I that?”

“In case something goes wrong. You’ll be able to tell them.”

“Tell who?”

He was still not looking at me, glaring instead at his brother.

“Ice, if this stuff fucks me up, you can make sure the rest of the club know that I did this willingly. That I chose it. In fact, it was my idea, and she… you can see how reluctant she is, right? You can make sure there’s no retribution.”

Oh god! “No! My god, I’m not doing this! It was bad enough the last time. It’s… Ryder… it could hurt you. It could kill you!”

“Fuck’s sake.” That was Ice. “They say even a tiny dose will have some effect, so we’ll start small. If you’re really stupid enough to try this, we’ll give you a fucking micro dose. See how little is actually needed, to make you all fucking helpless and kitteny, like you want to be.”

Ryder stood up, nodding.

“Yeah, let’s do that. Ice, you’re gonna hit me with it. I don’t want Tori even having to touch that stuff.”

Ice groaned, shaking his head.

“I’m not being a part of your fucked up sex games, man. This is too fucking depraved, even for me.”

I didn’t even want to know what constituted just depraved enough for someone like Ice.

“I’m not agreeing to this either, Ryder.”

He crouched in front of me again, his eyes wide and earnest, maybe even a little desperate.

“Baby, I want to be with you, but I’m a selfish fucker though. I don’t just want to relive it by watching videos, and jerking off beside each other.”

“ Jesus .”

“What I’m saying is that I want to watch as it happens. I want to feel you. Feel your body against mine. Feel your touch. Your lips. I want to feel that wet pussy as it slides down on my dick. I want to feel your pussy clenching around my dick when you come.”

“My god, I wish I’d fucking doped myself up, before I had to hear this.” Ice was pacing, and muttering, and oddly it helped.

“What if it makes you ill?” I whispered, and Ryder shrugged.

“So what? The other stuff did too, and I didn’t get to enjoy what happened before that. This way I can. It’s worth it.”

Ice was still muttering to himself, only it was low enough now that we couldn’t make out his words.

“Do we know what’s in it?”

Ice stepped up close again.

“We don’t have a fucking clue. All they told me is start small, and watch for fucking convulsions. Apparently that’s a possibility . Doc will fucking kill you, if this stuff sends you to the infirmary. You get that, right?”

“It’s too dangerous,” I said, trying to get Ryder to see sense.

He snatched the syringe from Ice’s hand, where he’d been holding it like it was poison, or like it might bite him.

“Hey!”

“You don’t help me, I’m gonna fuck this up.” He aimed the syringe at a vein in his arm, and Ice threw his hands up.

“Fine! Fuck’s sake. Give me that thing before you kill yourself.”

Ryder passed him the syringe, leaned down and kissed me on the lips, and then he walked over to the bed. He lay down, and crooked his finger at me.

“Baby, you have to be over here. I’m doing this for you.”

I didn’t want him to. I was afraid . I was turned on, but so afraid, and it was too weird. Having Ice here, at such an intimate moment, was just freaky.

Ice was checking the syringe, releasing a few drops of the contents, to ensure no air could get pushed into Ryder’s vein. I was glad he was so on the ball with this stuff, because I wouldn’t have had any idea what to do.

“Ryder, I’m scared.” He grabbed my hand, as I sat beside him.

“Baby, worst case scenario, it’s not enough to do a damn thing. Best case? We get to fuck.”

It was insanity, but despite my fear… I really wanted to try.

Ryder

S he was freaked out, but I didn’t care. Twice now we’d had sex, and both times I didn’t even fucking know about it until after. I managed to watch after the fact, and it was hot. It just wasn’t enough. I wanted to fucking feel it as it happened. I didn’t care if she had the control, I didn’t care if I was submitting to her, instead of taking her. I just fucking wanted to be with her. However we could make it happen.

Ice was pissed, and no doubt he’d kick my ass later, because I’d put him on the spot, and we both knew it. Threw him right under the fucking bus. He didn’t want to get this stuff for me. Didn’t want anything to do with it. He definitely didn’t want to bring this stuff to me, and now? Now I was forcing him to be a part of it. Truth be told, he should probably stay close, but there was no way I wanted him witnessing this.

“Tori, after he’s dosed me and we know I’m okay, if we’re doing this, Ice is gonna fuck off. But he’s gonna keep his phone close. We have any issues of the life threatening kind, you ring him, right?”

Ice groaned. “And you cover up his junk before you let me in, yeah?”

Tori frowned, still looking a little bemused at everything going on around her.

“Hang on… about that…”

I grinned at her. “Way ahead of you, babe. Already took a little blue pill, and it’s definitely starting to work.” I grabbed her hand and stuck it over the bulge in my jeans, and she gasped.

“Fuck’s sake, can we get this over with, so I can go and put something in my fucking body to help me forget this?” Ice grumbled.

I nodded, and then winced as he slid the needle into a vein in my neck.

“Really?”

He shrugged. “It’ll hit faster. I’ve only given you like the barest amount though. It might not even do anything.”

He wrapped the syringe in a cloth, and tucked it into the front pocket on his cut.

“Yeah, despite how much it creeps me out, I’m keeping this, so you don’t go rogue on me.” He smirked at me, but I wasn’t listening though. Something weird was happening already. I rolled my head back on the pillow, as a strange feeling settled inside me.

“Ryder?”

Ice leaned over me, and I could feel Tori squeezing my hand, but I couldn’t squeeze it back.

“ Jesus .”

“Is he… Are you okay?”

I tried to tilt my face to look at her, to reassure her, but it wouldn’t move.

“ Fucking hell .”

“Talk to me, brother.” Ice grabbed my face, slapping my cheek lightly.

“I can’t move,” I muttered, focusing on each arm and leg. It wasn’t strictly true. I could twitch them a little, but I couldn’t lift them, or even clench a fist. There was no strength there at all. It was the strangest feeling .

Tori leaned over me, stroking my cheek, after Ice backed off.

“Can you feel this?”

“Yeah.” It was amazing. She was touching me, and I could feel it.

“Ice?”

“Yeah, brother?”

“Can you fuck off now?”

He laughed, moving out of sight again.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Oh wait, you already are.” I heard the door close, and knew we were alone.

“Tori?”

“Yes?” Her fingers were still stroking my cheek.

“I need you to get us naked, baby. I don’t know how long this’ll last, and I need you.”

She nodded, moving out of sight.

“ Wait .”

She came back. “What’s up?”

“Can you move my head for me? I can’t just stare at the fucking ceiling right now.”

She giggled, and angled my head for me, moving the pillow to give me some more support.

“Good?”

“Yeah. Thanks, baby. Now get naked, and let me watch.”

She smiled, looking more confident as each second passed. She stood up, and lifted off her t-shirt, flashing me an instant view of her tits, and that tattoo. Property of Ryder . Right there, above her left one. Perfect.

She stepped out of the sweatpants she wore, and then slipped out of the tiny briefs she wore, and then she was fucking naked and glorious. And with me. In the room with me. While I could see her, and fucking enjoy it.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Tori. You’re gorgeous.” She smiled, and it lit up her face. She cupped her breasts, rubbing her thumbs over her nipples. Fuck. This was taking too long.

“Get me naked, baby, or at least get my fucking cock out so you can ride it. Please.”

“You think you’re the one in charge, Ryder? The whole point of this is that I’m in control.” She sashayed over to me and leaned over, pressing her lips against mine. I could move my lips and tongue to a degree, certainly enough to speak, so kissing her was something I could actually participate in.

She ran her hand down my chest, dragging her nails over my bare skin. Fuck . It felt amazing. I’d taken my t-shirt off before we started this, but I still wore my fucking jeans.

“Baby, please. I don’t want this to wear off, before I get to feel you.” The small dose had been effective, but my fear was that it wouldn’t last long enough for us to be together.

Tori moved her hands to the fastenings on my jeans, and made short work of them, struggling to drag them down over my hips, taking my boxers with them. It had been a mistake to wear these. Next time I’d just wear sweatpants too, or just boxers.

“You look so helpless,” Tori whispered, sliding her hands back up my legs, as she crawled onto the bed over me. I fucking felt it too, but seeing the change in her, it was absolutely worth it.

Tori moved up to straddle me, sitting over my cock, so it was trapped between us. Fuck, just the heat of her damn pussy against me was enough to take me closer than I’d ever want to admit.

She took my hands, and moved them away from my sides, so she could get her knees either side of me without kneeling on them.

“Please, baby.”

Tori smiled, as she leaned down and kissed me. Her confidence, now that she felt in control, was fucking beautiful. It was like I was seeing the real her at last. There was no fear, no shame, no sign of any inhibitions. She was a fucking goddess.

“I love the begging, Ryder. Keep begging me, and maybe I’ll give you everything you want. Everything you need. Tell me what you want me to do to you.”

I groaned. Confident, sexual Tori was everything I knew she’d be.

“Baby, I want that sweet wet pussy on my fucking cock.”

She tutted at me, reaching down to claw my chest lightly, as she rocked her hips, sliding her pussy along the length of my dick.

“That doesn’t sound like begging. That sounds like a demand, Ryder. Beg .”

Fucking hell. “Please, baby. Please fuck me. I need your pussy on my dick, baby.”

She moved back, sitting further back on my thighs, and wrapped her hand around my cock. If I could have moved, my hips would have jerked up off the bed. It was the weirdest thing, because I could feel everything. I could feel her touch, her body, her heat, everything, but I couldn’t move. Even those involuntary movements we all make, at key moments when something feels so fucking good that it just happens? They just didn’t. There was nothing at all, and it was oddly thrilling.

“I need you, baby, please,” I was definitely, absolutely begging. I’d beg her until I got what I needed. I had no shame. I had no fucking problem with begging her.

“You want me to ride your dick, Ryder? What would my road name be for riding you so good, huh?”

Fuck me. I literally wished I could move, because I’d grab her, and roll over her and fuck her until she couldn’t taunt me any longer.

“Anything you want, baby. Please.”

“Okay. We’ll go with Baby Please . That’s my road name, for when I’m riding my Ryder.”

Dammit. “Please.”

She laughed, sliding further away, so she could lower her mouth over my dick, sucking me down her damn throat.

“Jesus fuck!”

She was so much better at that than I’d expected, and I’d apparently experienced her mouth twice before, without knowing just how amazing it felt. Until now .

“I don’t want to come down your throat, baby. Please. You’re getting me too close.”

She giggled while my dick was still in her mouth, and it rumbled along my shaft, nearly breaking the last ounce of control I had over myself.

“Jesus… Please .”

“Use my road name, Ryder, and I’ll give you what you want.”

“Fuck! Baby Please . Please fuck me. Please.”

Tori released my dick from her mouth at last, stroking it lightly as she positioned herself. God yes. Please. Get that wet pussy on my goddamn dick!

“Is this what you want, Ryder?” She pressed the head of my cock at her entrance, and lowered herself just enough that it was all that was inside her, and that alone felt like fucking heaven.

“ Baby Please . It’s… I need you . I need to be so deep inside you, that I can feel every twitch and clench of that sweet pussy of yours.”

She grinned, lowering herself a little more, letting out a soft moan. It was torture, and yet it was heaven. Having no power was agonising, and it was also fucking amazing. This little vixen was milking the opportunity, dragging things out, so that I was so desperate, I was begging her constantly. When it wasn’t out loud, it was in my head, over and over. I needed her fucking me .

“More, baby, please…”

She slid further onto me, my dick being enveloped by a tight grip that I thought I’d never get to feel. Whoever made this drug was a fucking genius. An evil genius, but genius, nonetheless .

“Come on, baby. Take me deep inside you, please.”

She dropped suddenly, taking me to the hilt.

“Fuck!”

She was motionless for a moment, a pained look on her face.

“I forgot.”

I wished that I could grab her face, and pull her close for a kiss, to wipe that look from her face.

“You okay?”

She chewed her lip. “I forgot that I need to move carefully, because you’re so fucking big. That hurt.”

Music to my ears . Not the fact that it hurt, but that I felt so big inside her. I needed more though, so it was time for that begging thing again.

“Please fuck me, baby. Ride my dick, and show me who’s the boss. I know it’s you, but show me why.”

She giggled, reaching out to drag her nails down my chest. She kept doing that, but unlike that first night, she wasn’t doing it hard enough to break the skin. It was more of a caress. For my enjoyment .

She rested her hands on my stomach, using her legs to start riding me, like I’d desperately needed her to, since… well … since I first fucking met her while I was still conscious. It wasn’t going to take long to push me over the edge, but it was everything. It was fucking epic. Her pussy was hot and wet, and squeezing my dick with every rise and fall.

“Jesus… yes, baby, please, keep doing that…”

I couldn’t grip her hips, and hold her as she rode me. I couldn’t even jerk my hips up to meet her as she came down on me. Not being able to move was so alien to me, but it allowed me to finally get to be with her.

“I’m getting close,” she whispered, her face heating up, her pink skin flushing to a deep red. There was a fine sheen of sweat on her face, and chest, and her nipples were so fucking pointed and hard that I wanted to suck them.

I felt my hand twitch in her direction with that thought, and it threw me. My dick was about ready to blow, and suddenly I was starting to get movement back. It took every damn iota of self-control, and discipline that I never knew I had, to stay still while I felt sensation returning. It brought with it a tingling sensation, and that was adding to the huge fucking orgasm I was about to lose myself to. Jesus fuck.

She clenched down on my dick as she suddenly came, and that was the last straw, sending me over the edge too, my dick spurting and filling her with my cum, as pleasure burned right through my body. I felt like I’d gone blind. Every inch of me felt like it was tingling and on fire, and my heart was in overdrive. Holy shit .

Tori slumped over me, and pressed her face into my neck, her lips teasing at my skin, as she breathed in heavy gasps. Her pussy was still ripping around my dick, as it started to soften.

“Thank you, Ryder, thank you,” she kept whispering the same words, over and over again. And I knew I’d do this again. I’d do it every fucking day for the rest of my life, if that was what she needed. If I could keep getting more of that shit we’d used.

I lifted a heavier than normal hand, ignoring the tingling numbness, and wrapped it around her, holding her tightly. She flinched, and then sighed, relaxing against me again. I managed to lift the other one, and then I was holding her. We were naked. I was still inside her, barely, but we’d just fucked, and I was holding her. It was exactly how it was meant to be.

“You okay, baby?”

She nodded, nuzzling my neck.

“So okay. Are you?”

I did a mental check of my body, noticing that sensation was returning rapidly, albeit with a lot more tingling.

“Fuck, yeah. Baby, you’re amazing. We need to keep doing that. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. That was fucking epic.”

She giggled softly. “It didn’t last very long.”

I mock-gasped at her. “ Not something any man wants to hear, baby . I think I did pretty well considering.”

She giggled again, lifting her head to look at me.

“You know that’s not what I mean. If we’re going to play for longer than that, you may need a larger dose.”

I stroked her cheek, my hand shaking a touch.

“I’m game, baby, and fucking hell… he’s game again too.” My dick was hardening again. Fucking Viagra .

She giggled. “I can’t take it again right now, and you’d have to call Ice back in here, while you’re naked. And while I’m naked.”

“Fuck that. He’s not seeing you naked.”

I grabbed my phone with a slightly shaky hand, ringing him so he’d know he could stand down.

“Shit… is he okay?”

“It’s me, brother. Just letting you know it’s all good. I’m moving again, but it worked.”

He snorted. “No details, please.”

I felt the phone twitch in my hand, my grasp not perfect yet.

“Make sure you remember how much you gave me, because I’ll need more next time.”

“Shit. You’re gonna make me do this again, aren’t you?”

“Damn right I am, so you better keep fucking your contact at that lab.”

“Screw you, asshole.” He hung up on me, and the phone dropped from my hand when it twitched again. And then I felt another twitch. My stomach. Oh hell.

“Baby, help me up. Quick .”

She got with the program fast, although my legs could barely hold my weight. We were halfway to the bathroom when I dropped to my knees, and threw up everywhere. This part was definitely less fun.

Someone started banging a fist against my door, with the worst timing ever, and I tried moving, but my body wasn’t strong enough to move me. I was practically laying in a puddle of my own vomit.

Tori grabbed her robe and wrapped up in it, as she ran for the door, maybe hoping that whoever stood there could help. But it was my fucking Club President.

“What the hell?” He strode across the room, and crouched beside me.

“Brother, what’s up? Food poisoning?” I opened my mouth to lie to him, and threw up again. He grabbed me around the chest and tried to haul me up, but I had no strength left at all. I was practically dead weight.

“Jesus. Call the doc,” he barked at Tori, who grabbed my phone immediately and dialled.

Fuck. We were in so much trouble.

Tori

I t was terrifying and so embarrassing. The doc came into Ryder’s room, and by then he was sitting up, mostly bearing his own weight, and had stopped throwing up. The doc took one look at the two of us, and jerked his head at Reacher.

“Out. I need to talk to my patient.”

Reacher nodded, and left the room, closing the door. Wow, he ordered the Club President out, and he didn’t even argue.

“Ryder, look at me, you stupid bastard. What did you take?”

Ryder grimaced. “It’s okay, I’m fine now.”

Doc glanced at me, then the mess on the floor, which was really starting to stink the place out.

“Yeah, calling bullshit on that one, brother. I thought you were the one I could rely on to stay clean, and never, ever be my late night callout for this kind of shit.”

I hovered nearby, wondering if I should say anything.

Ryder groaned, slowly pushing himself up from the floor.

“I’m fine, doc. Something disagreed with me, but I’m fine, yeah?”

Doc grabbed his medical bag, and fixed me with a glare, before returning his angry face back on Ryder.

“My guess is that you guys are up to some epically depraved shit, like how you first met. Let me tell you now that this is your only freebie. I get called out again for something like this, and I’m telling the Pres exactly what I think you’re up to. This doesn’t happen again. Got it?”

Ryder shrugged. “Whatever, Doc. I need to get this cleaned up though, so we good?”

Doc shook his head. “Not even close, Ryder. Now you, missy, as his old lady, keep an eye on him overnight. Make him drink water as often as you can, so he doesn’t end up dehydrated too, and if he gets worse in the night, you call me. Don’t hold off, just because I said I’ll tell on your asses.”

“I won’t.” He nodded, and then he left, and we stood there staring at each other.

“I’m sorry.”

Ryder cursed. “We’re not going there. This was my idea, and I now know that this shit makes me ill too. It’s a bit of a mood killer, I’ll admit, but we’ll be better prepared next time. I’ll just call a prospect to clean this up.”

I felt bad for the poor guy who showed up, turned a little green, and morosely cleaned up the mess. We were tucked up in our bed the whole time, and had several windows wide open to clear the smell.

All things considered, it wasn’t quite the night we’d planned, but I had a feeling we’d do it again. Ryder had proved that he’d do anything for me, anything to be with me, and I knew that I’d do the same for him. I’d make it my life’s work to make him happy, and I’d try every day to show him how much I loved him.

THE END

See Epilogue Two for a taste of Reacher’s story…