SAINT BAPTISTE 2: the soul ties series

Chapter 9

“Humph,” I grunted, with my eyes locked on his.

I was stuck... locked on the only set of eyes I could ever get stuck in. Against my will of course. Saint’s. I wanted nothing more than to look away. Just… couldn’t. I had been at Sienna’s house for three days and today I run into him. On today of all days. A good ass day. We had just come back from the spa. I was in a good mood. I had a fresh wax. Got a massage, a pedicure, and manicure. Felt like Kiki. Laughed more than I had in… shit, months. Just to walk in and find him. Just to walk in and get lost here. In a place I didn’t need to be. Just for him to take one look at me and see the lie I told about being okay. Just for him to look at me and tell me he’d been miserable when nothing in his actions told me he had been.

“Liar,” I said with a smirk before finally snatching away from that captivating ass gaze.

Saint hadn’t been miserable. Not once had he called me. Not once had he pulled up on me. How long had it been since Pandora’s? I didn’t know. I did. I couldn’t lie here. Couldn’t pretend I hadn’t been counting the days waiting for him to call. Today marked eight. Couldn’t lie like I didn’t take him off the block list to see if he’d even try to call me. I unblocked him the same day I blocked him. My phone hadn’t rung once with a call from him.

How did I feel about that? Useless, of course. How else was I supposed to feel? Did I fault him? No, of course I didn’t fault him. I was supposed to be used. That’s what men did. That’s what girls like me got from men like him. Used and lied to. It was my fault for giving a fuck. My fault for letting my walls down. My fault for falling. I knew I couldn’t fall here. I knew it wasn’t safe to fall but I did. I was stupid.

I turned to leave and as expected, he grabbed me by the arm to stop me from walking away. I snatched away from him and looked up at him like he was crazy. Not for too long, though. I couldn’t. Not because I was afraid of getting stuck there. But because the talk at the river walk had left me fragile as fuck. If he did that thing... if he looked into me the way only he could... I would crumble. It would take next to nothing for me to fucking crumble. And I couldn’t do that. Not now. Not in front of them. Not in front of anybody, but God... I really couldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing just how much I cared. And I cared so got damn much. I hated that I did. Hated to care more than he did.

“Ki,” Sienna called out. “You o?—“

“She’s good, sis. I got her,” Saint quickly interrupted before I could protest.

“—What?” I snapped. “Nigga?—“

“Please,” he pled. “Five minutes, Oki.”

With a frown, I looked at him. His eyes softened and for some stupid ass reason other than delusion… love delusion… mine did too. He put his hands together and said, “Tanpri.”

“Okay.”

He glanced over his shoulder at everyone before grabbing my hand. I tried again to snatch away but he didn’t let me. He interlocked his fingers with mine and led me out of the office. I followed. Let him lead me out like a fucking idiot. Once we made it out into the hallway, he closed the door behind us. We continued down the hallway in silence. His grip on my hand tightened. Reminded me if the night at Pandora’s. Held on to it in a way that said he never wanted to let go.

“You left.”

“Was I not supposed to?” I asked.

He looked down at me.

I looked up at him. “The sun was rising.”

“Rising. I made it back right before dawn. You left. Fucked me up. Really fucked me up.”

“What did? Being left in the middle of the night?” I questioned with a hint of sarcasm. Humph.

I didn’t leave in the middle of the night like that out of spite. I didn’t leave like that because he’d left me so many times. I honestly left because we had an agreement. I didn’t want to hurt Saint. Not after the night we shared. We were good. Pandora’s got crazy but we were equally at fault. The night was… beautiful. I left because I couldn’t stand to hurt myself anymore. Leaving was more about me than it was about him. But as I stared into his eyes, stealing pieces of him, I realized, me leaving had done what he did to me all of those nights, to him.

It was funny....

How life worked.

He stopped. And because he was holding my hand, I did too. He turned to face me, and we stood in the hallway, eye to eye in silence for what felt like… minutes but couldn’t be no more than a few seconds. Time was weird. Had never been weird like that with him before. It was his eyes. They were easy to get lost in. Today especially because I could see so much. More than I ever had before. I could see it. The misery. Maybe he had been miserable. Just… maybe a little. Could he had been? Miserable without me? How? He didn’t call. Didn’t text. Didn’t give a fuck about me.

Delusion.

That’s what it was. For me to believe it could be anything else would make me insane. Would make me… stupid. He couldn’t be miserable without me. I had to face the facts. Couldn’t believe the things I felt because love made shit hazy.

“I left you,” he stated.

“I didn’t—.”I stopped myself from giving him an explanation. Wondered if I should tell him that it wasn’t my intention to hurt him. Wondered if I should give him the courtesy he never gave me when I’d awake to an empty bed. At least when I left him, he wasn’t in the bed with me. At least he didn’t have to turn over to nothing.

I didn’t say anything. Just crossed my arms over my chest and looked away.

“Damn,” he breathed out.

“Damn what?” I asked, that sarcasm in my voice a little louder than before.

“I really fucked up,” he said. “I—damn.”

Why did I give a fuck?

Why did I have sympathy for him? He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve anything from me. But…. I felt like he deserved the truth.

“Saint,” I breathed out. “I didn’t leave you as pay back. I honestly left because we had an agreement.”

“The agreement was sunrise,” he pointed out for a second time. “But even that was too generous.”

I raised my eyebrows. Looked up at him and was a little speechless. Who in the fuck was this? I didn’t recognize him. Well. I did. He was familiar. I met him once. Didn’t think I’d ever see him again. Saint today was Saint from Pandora’s. Both faced with the same consequence. Losing me. Losing access to me. I didn’t see a man who was miserable because he missed me. There was a shift in perspective. I saw a man who was desperate. Desperate at holding on to me in any kind of way, just to get to the part of me he really missed.

What was his excuse for not calling me though? Hmm? I was… I was worthless to him. Saint didn’t give a fuck about me. Saint didn’t care about me. There was no remorse. What the fuck did he mean I was too generous?

Nigga.

Please.

“Miserable for eight days but didn’t call once. The math…ain’t adding up, cheri,” I joked with a quick twirl. Twirled to get out of his grip. Twirled to hide just how hurt I was. Twirled to hide the pain he already noticed. Saint just… he knew things. He saw things before I was even able to reveal them fully.

That was why I hated when he looked at me. Hated for him to stare for too long. He was a fucking thief. Stole pieces of me every chance he got. Even in fainting glances. Hated how good he could read me. Hated how he just knew me. What to say. How to say it. Where to touch. What to touch. For how long.

His magic had no bounds.

He grabbed me. “I did call. Once. That morning. I was blocked and?—”

I rolled my eyes in disbelief and again, tried to pull away. “Liar?—“

“For the first time with these feelings, I’m finally telling the truth, amou?—“

“Feelings? Saint, if you don’t get the fuck out of my face with that bullshit!” I yelled.

Thank God the kids were with their grandparents. Thank God Sienna and them were further down the hall. Thank God, he pulled me away. Because. I was crumbling. Against my will. Just… fucking crumbling. I hated him. Hated him for making me crumble. Hated Him for making me feel forbidden things. Hated Him for doing this to me, knowing I couldn’t have what I wanted.

Him as in God. I hated God. Tomorrow I would regret that. But today… I hated Him for doing this. The hold Saint had on me wasn’t just crazy... this... with him was gut-wrenching. It was voracious. It was... diabolical. Because why? Why put him in my path? Why make him a part of my story just for us to end like this? Just for me to experience that... magic and then nothing at all for the rest of my life? To make it beautiful, but ugly and toxic at the same time?

Hmm? Why make me feel this? Why make me endure so much pain? Why make me suffer so much? I didn’t do anything. I didn’t deserve this. Didn’t deserve to be tortured like this while that lady and her husband lived their happily ever after.

What about mine?

“Yea,” He stated, advancing toward me as if I hadn’t told him to get the fuck out of my face. “Feelings. I know that might sound like bullshit but?—”

“Might?” I interrupted with raised brows. “Definitely sounds like bullshit.”

I laughed. Felt like I was losing my mind. He needed to leave me the hell alone. I didn’t want it. Didn’t want to deal with it. Couldn’t. I wasn’t in the right mental space to deal with whatever it was Saint wanted. He had never shown me any emotion. The only time Saint was anything remotely close to me was when he was between my legs.

Now.

After eight days of nothing... he brings up feelings. After claiming to be miserable? I didn’t believe shit he said. Why would I? Men lied. They all did. He was a man. A man who only wanted one thing from me. A man who would never want anything more from me.

He didn’t say anything. Went silent. Just... stared at me. Bore into me with those fucking eyes. Just... stood there and looked at me with soul-snatching, misery filled brown eyes, in silence.

“It’s time you need,” he finally said.

I drew back. “Time? For what?”

He advanced toward me. again. Backed me up against the wall. Didn’t touch me. Didn’t press his body against mine. Stood insanely close to me, though. So close that I could feel his breath against my lips. But it wasn’t the lack of space that kept me against wall. It was those eyes. I could have easily pushed him away. I just... I didn’t.

I gave him pieces of me. I showed him all of me. Almost all of me. There were still several faces he had yet to see. But the ones he did see... The ones I tucked away from the world and only experienced with self... he saw them. And he didn’t run. He stayed. Felt like seeing them made him love me more.

“The timing is wrong,” he continued. “Either I waited too long or... I’m too early.”

This time, I went quiet. We stood there, practically chest to chest. In silence. Stealing from one another. I didn’t like it but... I couldn’t help it. The longer we stood in silence, emotions high, my mind a big ball of confusion, the lighter I began to feel. I... I couldn’t explain it. I lost time again. This time, when time slipped, I felt limitless Standing outside of time... It felt amazing. It was complete separation from reality. I knew what it felt like to sink. To sink so deep into my thoughts that I would separate from the present. But reality? I’d never separated from reality. It was... absolute fucking freedom.

He lifted his hand, caressed my cheek and said, “When I realized you blocked me, I didn’t push because it wasn’t force you needed. It was time. Time and space. So, I gave you that. The last eight days felt like eight years... but I took ‘em on the chin because I care more about you, than I do myself.”

I rolled my eyes and attempted to push away but he pinned his body against mine, stopping me. “Listen. You promised me five minutes. Give me my five minutes, amou.”

I took in a deep breath and let him talk as if there was anything else I could do.

“For eight days straight I thought about you. Thought about every little detail on you. From the moles on the bottom of your left foot, to every fuckin’ tiger stripe on your body. Thought about the way you smelled. The way your kisses taste. The way you sound right before you’re about to cum. Thought about your smile. Your laugh... every-fuckin-thing. Lost sleep thinking about you.

But you know what I thought about the most? Your eyes. The way you looked when I walked into that room. The way I almost broke you... the way I almost shattered you. Selfishly, I mishandled you. Mishandled you because I didn’t know how to deal with the fact that I...” he paused. “Didn’t know how to deal with the fact that I fell in love with you. I don’t have the right to push for a second chance. Not after the way I fucked up the first. So... I let you be.”

I didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know what to feel. Didn’t know if I should’ve believed him or not. I was... my mind was... I wasn’t wired to believe anything he said.. It just... it all sounded like bullshit to me. I would have loved to really, truly believe him. I was afraid to give into that delusion. Afraid that if I did... if I truly decided to believe him, that he would let me down. I couldn’t just... be free. I couldn’t fall ‘freely’ as Sienna said because I didn’t trust that if I did, I wouldn’t fall to my death.

“The timing is fucked up,” He said with a low chuckle. “I trust that the timing... that the timing is just fucked up.” Saint leaned in, pressed his face into the side of my neck and inhaled. “I pray to God I’m not too late.” He paused, wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in. “Tell me I’m not too late, Oki. Tell me I’m just... I’m just too early. Tell me all you need is more time.”

I just stood there. As stiff as a fucking board with tears pouring down my face, completely speechless. I just... I really couldn’t understand what life was anymore. I wanted love. Wanted love from him, more than anything else in the world, right? And there we were... there I was... wrapped in his embraced, being given what I wanted but I couldn’t receive it. I didn’t understand. I wanted to believe that the timing was wrong too, but because I knew how this went for me, I knew it wasn’t time that I needed. I just... I just never got what I wanted.

Instead of responding to him, I just stood there. I didn’t know how long it was before he finally pulled away, kissed me on the forehead, and walked off.

“Don’t forget;you can call me KiKi. I’m only staying for the walk through. I should be home around?—”

“I don’t need you to babysit me, SiSi,” I defensively interrupted, as I placed my hands between my thighs, cringing.

I hated every minute of this shit.

This—being treated like some sort of sad ass bitch—was the exact reason I masked and buried shit for so long. I didn’t need people to take care of me. Didn’t need my best friend, who had a life of her own, to worry about and pacify me, a grown ass woman. She needed to worry about taking care of business. She had enough on her plate already. Utopia, her mother center, was taking off. She had to be in Atlanta tomorrow for a walk through of a new center that was scheduled to open next month. The last thing I wanted was for her to be worried about me. I would figure it out. I always figured it out.

“I’m not trying to babysit you, Naoki. I just need you to know I’m here. I’m always?—”

“I know that, Sienna. You don’t have to remind me.” I paused and lifted my head away from the tinted window to look over at her. “You don’t need to tell me you’re always here because I see it. I live it. You’ve always been. I just—look... I’m good, boo.”

She nodded and I leaned my head back against the headrest.

I wasn’t good; I was the furthest thing from it. I was miserable, dangling over the edge, close to insanity, scrabbling, reaching for just a piece of good. She knew I was lying. I didn’t do anything to hide the lie. The evidence was right there, sitting on the rim of my bottom lids. All I had to do was blink, and that evidence would be rushing down my red cheeks.

Last night, I dug deep... reached to the depths of my being for strength I didn’t know I had. Just to do the exact opposite of everything I wanted to do. The urge to go with him. The urge to tell him everything I felt instead of nothing at all. It was hard. Extremely hard. Honestly, one of the hardest things I had to do.

“Who is that? Chase?” Sienna asked, snatching me out of my thoughts right before I would sink.

I turned to look out of the window. “Yeah, that’s his corny ass. What the fuck is he doing with my trashcan? Ugh.”

“Um. It looks like he’s taking it to the back, you mean ass bitch,” She joked. “He seems nice,” she playfully sang. “That was him you were in the car with that night right?—”

“Yeah, only because he saw me at the bar and didn’t want me to get an Uber?—”

“Okaaaay. I didn’t say I caught you in the middle of sucking his dick, KiKi damn. You’ve been defensive as hell since?—”

“Since what?”

She sighed. “Nothing, bitch.” Sienna shook her head as she pulled into my driveway.

Since seeing Saint last night. About—not about... exactly... I shifted my eyes over at the clock to check the time. Thirteen hours and twenty-three minutes ago. As a nurse, I was meticulous about time. Had to be for the sake of my patients. However, when it came to men, time never mattered. I didn’t give a fuck about it. Never paid much attention to it. But when it came to him? I paid attention to everything. I knew how long we’d been fucking. I knew on what day I knew it was love and nothing else. I kept track of things like that. Because it was him. Because he was special—Saint Baptiste. The man who made me wantto venture outside of my fucking box. I wondered if I’d ever stop. Wondered if one day I’d look up and I’d be seventy-something, still counting.

Anyway... That’s how long I had been defensive.

Last night we stood outside of time and heard ‘I love you’ for the first time.

I didn’t think that was possible for someone like me. Especially not with someone like him. But last night—last night it happened. And it felt amazing. It was complete separation from reality. I knew what it felt like to sink. To sink so deep into my thoughts that I would separate from the present. But reality? I’d never separated from reality. It was... absolute fucking freedom.

“Like I was saying,” Sienna continued with an exasperated sigh as she shifted the car into park. “He seems nice. You should at least thank him for taking care of your trash for you. Because it was definitely overflowing the other night.”

“I will,” I said, frowning, with my eyes on Chase who was coming from the side of my house. “Look at him. What type of nigga is that happy this early in the morning? And it’s cold.”

“Ain’t shit niggas,” she mumbled.

I turned to look at her and we both laughed. “Exactly.”

Sienna put her head down and shook it. “Nah, that’s that trauma talking. Honestly, Kiki... he might just be aight.”

“And he might just be another ain’t shit ass nigga,” I somberly retorted. “I’m over that shit, SiSi. I can’t.”

I was serious.

I couldn’t. I was tired. I decided to give up and accept the fact that I would just die alone.

She tossed her head back against the headrest. “I know. It’s okay to be over it. But what’s wrong with a little conversation? Just... it’s important to stay open, KiKi, remember that. Not for them; for you. Hurts you more than?—”

“I know,” I interrupted with a sigh. “I heard you.” I tossed my head back and looked over at her with a sad expression. “Sorry.”

She just nodded and gave me a soft smile. Because I knew her, I could feel what she wanted to say through the desolate expression on her face. She wanted to encourage me. She wanted to tell me I deserved all of the love in the world. But because she didn’t want to push my boundaries any more than she already had, she kept her lips tucked into her mouth.

I appreciated that. I didn’t need any more lectures. When I said I heard her, I heard her. Sitting through it the first time was painful enough. I wasn’t one of those women who liked to hear people talk about them, contrary to popular belief. I thought I was beautiful, of course. I was confident. I knew that when I put That shit on, I put that shit on. And even when I didn’t have it on, I bodied plenty bitches on a regular ‘bummy’ day. But did I want to hear people talk about how I deserved the world? And how I should have this, or have that? Or about how much of an amazing woman I was? About how special I was? That my smile lit up a room? No. Hell no. I didn’t. I hated it actually. It was painful to listen to. I didn’t like it because I didn’t believe those things about me.

“Plus,” she shrugged. “All the nigga did was take the trash to the curb. We sitting here having a moment like he about to ask you to marry him.”

We laughed. It was forced. But still... we laughed.

“Exactly. I’m going to thank his weird ass,” I said with an eyeroll before reaching over to hug her. “I love you boo. Call me before you board.”

“I love you too. You already know. Right before and right after,” she reassured me.

We pulled away from our embrace and I looked up at the house with a sigh. I was in no rush to go inside, but what else was I supposed to do? Run away from life because my house didn’t give me the same hug hers did? Maybe it was the size. I mean, it wasn’t the biggest but shit, it was too big for little ol’ me. To be honest, I didn’t even buy it for me. I bought it for them. For her. Valerie’s no-good ass.

I wanted her to see that I was doing good. Wanted to prove to her that I didn’t need her. Wanted to show her that despite throwing me away like I was nothing, I made something out of myself. And you know what? She didn’t even give a fuck. All she did was judge and say I should have waited until I had a husband and kids before I bought a house. Typical basic, desperate bitch shit! Like a woman needed a man and kids to buy a fucking house. The bitch depended on dick for everything. Put dick over every single thing in her life. I couldn’t, for the life of me, understand why I expected anything different from her. Well... it wasn’t that I expected anything from her. It was a want. Not from me per se. From her. The little girl inside of me that just wanted her mother to give a fuck about her.

“You know what? I’m about to see if I can find a last-minute ticket,” Sienna said, snapping me out of my thoughts before I could sink too deep.

Again. God, I was tired of sinking. Hadn’t sank in days but the minute I pull up at this bitch, I get to going under.

“Girl, no, I’m good. The house is a mess and I do not feel like cleaning up,” I lied.

She asked me if I wanted to go with her.

I told her no.

Felt like she only offered because she was worried about me,

As a matter of fact, I knew that was why she offered. Sienna had that trip lined up months ago. She didn’t ask me to go then, why ask now? Because I was a basket case. Because I was tripping. My moods were erratic, and she wanted to keep an eye on me. I knew better. No thank you. No fucking thank you.

After a couple of seconds, I finally got out of the car. Sienna rolled her window down and told me she loved me again. Loud enough to get Chase’s attention. I knew what she was doing. She gave me those ‘wide-eyes’ with the slight cock of her head as to say, ‘be nice, bitch’. I was going to thank the nigga, I didn’t need ‘momma’ to give me a nudge.

“Love you too, bitch. Goodbye. Text me when you make it please.”

We always texted when we made it. Telling her to text me when she made it was me telling her to get the hell out of my driveway. Her meddling, pushy ass.

She forced a smile and reversed out of the driveway really slow. I rolled my eyes and shook my head before turning to find Chase standing on the porch. He chucked his chin, greeting me with a bright smile. Happy go lucky ass. God he was weird. But shit he was fine. I did a quick scan to appreciate the very noticeable bulge in his gray sweatpants. I wasn’t surprised it was there. Most men with big hands had the big dick to match.

“Good morning,” I said, with a sweet but forced smile. “Thanks for putting my cans to the curb. I was going to get to them but I?—”

“No problem,” he interrupted on his way down the stairs. “You weren’t home, and I didn’t want you to miss another trash day.”

I nodded. “Thank you.”

“You already thanked me,” he said with a light laugh.

I laughed with him. “Right.”

Was I nervous? Or embarrassed? I was something. Whatever it was, I wasn’t myself. Chase was a lot taller than I could remember. He literally towered over me. I thought about asking his height but decided against it. I was sure a lot of bitches hit him with that line. I wasn’t a typical bitch, so... I wouldn’t ask typical bitch questions. Besides, I didn’t give a fuck about how tall her was.

“Well, that second thank you was for the ride home from?—”

Fuck! What the fuck was I doing? I didn’t want to bring that up. I wanted to forget that night ever happened, but it was too late. I’d already opened my big ass mouth. Yeah, a bitch was tripping.

“The bar?” he finished.

“Mmhmm,” I responded. Stuffing my hands into the pockets of my hoodie, I looked off up at the house.

It was the house. I was antsy because of the got damn house. The minute I looked over at it, there was a tightness in my chest. I needed to get rid of it. I had to move. That was the only solution. There was too much sadness behind that door. Though there were good memories, the recent memories were full of depression and I just... I didn’t like it. It just emitted negative energy. It was so fucking suffocating that it even spilled out onto the sidewalk.

“You good?” He asked with a tilt of his head.

“Hm? Yeah I’m fine. Have a?—

“I’m having a good day,” He interrupted with his eyes locked on mine. I let him stay there because he wasn’t a magician. “Now. However... it could be better.”

“Is that right?” I asked, with a smirk.

He was using my shit on me, but he wasn’t as bold. Chase was a man with chivalry. He wasn’t asking for pussy.

He lightly chuckled and brushed his hand over his cheek. “Yeah.”

Aw. He was nervous. How cute. I would fucking devour him. Not in a dick eating way neither. Chase could ‘stay’ for as long as he wanted because between the two of us, I was the one with the magic. I was the one that held all of the power. I couldn’t do shit with a man like him. I would walk all over him. But then again… maybe that was the problem. Maybe I needed not to fucking devour him. Maybe I needed to just.. chill?

I could do that. I had retired man-eating anyway. I mean… for now I had at least.

“Ok. Yeah what?” I challenged. Are you going to ask me out or leave a corny lil’ post-it note on my door when I go in the house?” I joked to loosen him up a little.

Did I really want to go out with him?

Of course not. I just... the house. I wasn’t ready to go inside just yet. I had to stall a little longer.

He laughed. “You gon’ let a nigga live that down?”

I giggled. “Mmm. Probably not.”

He stopped laughing and stepped a little closer to me. Something shifted. Maybe he wasn’t as timid and soft as I thought. Maybe I needed to take my ass in the house and stop playing games with him.

He extended his hand, and I looked down at it with furrowed brows.

“I’m Chase.” He stated, with added emphasis. “I think you know my grandparents, Mr. and Mrs. Sherman? I moved in a lil’ while ago to help them out for a couple of months.”

I lightly giggled. Still corny. But... not as corny. I took his hand and shook it. “I’m Naoki. Yep, I know them. Mrs. Sherman is my home girl. She love her stories. A couple months ago, she was talking about Victor Newman and shocked the hell out of me! That man been on the stories longer than I’ve been alive.”

He laughed. “Nice to meet you, Naoki.”

I nodded with a smile. “Nice to meet you, too.”

We stood there in silence for a good ten seconds before I asked if I could have my hand back. He laughed and finally pulled away. I found his coyness cute. I was curious about him. Interested? No. just... curious. Chase was very handsome. But he didn’t give me ‘confident’. There was something odd about it. Most men that looked like him—light skin, full beard, tall, light eyes, heavy dick—they carried themselves with a certain confidence that he did not.

“Can I call you?” He asked before that tongue swiped across his bottom lip again. Chase wanted to swipe it across me. He might’ve been a little shy, but the nigga was very into me. It was the titties. Mmhmm. It was always the titties. He probably thought about them every night. Shit, he thought about everything. He’d already seen me butt booty ass naked. That explained it all. The nerves, the coyness... everything.

I figured, fuck it. I’d already given him a hard enough time. The least I could do was give him my number. Probably wouldn’t answer but... he could have it.

“Sure,” I told him before rambling off my number to him.

“Aight, gotchu. Ay, I was thinking about going to grab something to eat and?—”

“I already ate,” I interrupted with a smile. He was eager as hell, wasn’t he?

As bad as I didn’t want to go into the house, I was in no mood to go out with him. Not yet. Probably not ever.

He smiled, stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked down at the ground. He took a deep breath and looked up at me. “Forgive me. I’m not normally like this. You’re just...”

I tilted my head over to the side. “I’m just what?”

He shook his head. “Intimidating.”

I locked eyes with him and stayed there a minute. “Intimidating?” I challenged, daring him to use the word he really wanted to use.

That tongue swiped across that lip again. There was a lot of sexual tension. I should have pulled back. But, I didn’t. It felt good to be the one with the magic for a change. I mean, I had it. But, it had been a while since I used it like this. Face-to-face. Eye-to-eye. I forgot what it felt like to watch a man crumble. To see him scramble to find the right words to mind fuck the mind fucker.

“Mesmerizing,” he corrected.

I drew back a little and glanced away to break the eye contact. “Have a good day, Chad,” I said ending the conversation before I turned and walked off.

He laughed. “You know... I think you do that on purpose.”

“Do what on purpose?” I tossed over my shoulder with a coy smile.

As soon as I turned, the smile fell.

At least I found a mask.