Sanctuary (the Affliction Trilogy #2)

Chapter 17

Seventeen

H ours later, I meet Ryland in the park for dinner. He's seated on the blanket under our tree with the food he brought already laid out. I despise his green and brown fatigues and miss his jeans and T-shirts. They were an extension of his personality, unlike the drab military garb they force him to wear.

“How did it go with Spencer?” he asks as I take my place across from him.

“Fine. Things are as good as they're going to get between us for now.”

“I'm going to have to fight against the protective older brother now,” Ryland jokes and places a raw carrot slice into his mouth.

I situate myself, settling in for the discussion we need to have. So much hurt came from his decision to break up. I’ve never felt pain like that before, and it’s something I can’t sweep under the rug. “Speaking of Ridge, we have to talk about what happened the other day.”

“I know.” He bows his head and fidgets with the border of the blanket.

“You're not the sole decision-maker in this relationship, and you definitely don't get to make a call about what you think I need. I understand I've missed out on traditional life events, but it doesn't mean I feel like I'm missing out on something crucial. If I go dancing, I want to go with you. I want you to be the shoulder that supports me if I drink too much and need help home. And I have zero desire to be physical with someone else. I may not have gotten the chance to do what twenty-year-old girls did in the past, but I'm making my own memories with you. We've had our fair share of adventures together, and they more than make up for the worthless growing pains I would have gone through in college. What you did hurt me, Ryland.”

He shakes his head and lifts his glassy eyes to mine. “I thought what I was doing was selfless. All this talk about Spencer having a thing for you, and then I was jealous when he walked you home. I love you so much, and the last thing I want to do is hold you back from finding your happiness.”

It takes every ounce of willpower to keep my hands to myself. I hate seeing him fall apart. But I can’t take the risk of us getting lost in touching one another when this is so important.

“I want you to be selfish with me. I've promised you my heart, Ryland Shaw, and you should hold on to it tightly and protect it. Don't let anyone near who will break it, because it's your job to put it back together again when that happens. It's yours. I'm yours.”

“I'm sorry I hurt you, Quinn.”

“I'm sorry I didn't take into consideration how you felt seeing Ridge take me home.”

He nods as he removes the silver ring with a blue stone from his finger. Taking the piece of twine from the bread bag, he wraps it around the bottom of the ring. I raise my eyebrows as he holds it up to me. I zero in on the ring like a deer in headlights.

Ryland chuckles. “Calm down, Ellery. It's a promise ring.”

I release a long breath and ask, “What are you promising, Ry?”

“My heart in return for yours, and I promise to treat it as my own. I don't know what my future looks like, but I'll build it around us. You're all I need, Quinnten. Every ounce of happiness I have is because of you.”

“I promise the same thing,” I say, holding out my left hand.

He slides the chunky piece of jewelry onto my ring finger. It's a sharp contrast to the intricate ring River gave me that I wear on my other hand. I note the color of the stone that is supposed to read my emotions, and it's pink. Happiness. Ryland is my happiness.

He hooks his finger under my chin and pulls my attention to him. Brushing his lips over mine, he says, “I will love you until I draw my final breath, and even then, there's no force that could stop my love for you.”

With both of my hands on his cheeks, I guide him to my lips. I use my mouth to convey every emotion I feel for him; I don't know if my words could do justice toward the adoration I feel. I need him to understand I could never think of him, or the time we’ve had together, with regret. He's helped to make me a better and stronger person, and for that, he deserves my heart.

Never again will we go a day without knowing the other has our back. We are far from our happily ever after, but we will face the trials to get there together.

I enter the office and cringe at the sight of the President's door sitting ajar. The sound of shuffling papers inside puts me on edge. So as stealthily as possible, I slide into my chair behind my desk and press one key at a time on my keyboard.

“Quinnten, can I see you in my office, please?” William calls.

I drop my head into my hands. Couldn't he give me a moment to get settled in and let me believe I might get away with not having to deal with him? Of course not. He has to have me on pins and needles all damn day.

With shaking hands, I open the door and ask, “Do you need something?”

He waves his hand at the chair across from his desk. “Shut the door and take a seat.”

William is normally very put together, but today is an exception. His hair is without product, his suit is wrinkled, and there are dark bags under his eyes. If I hadn't witnessed what went down at his house the other night, I would think he's sick. The better guess is that his disheveled state has to do with his unpleasant wife. She clearly doesn't let go of grudges. He's probably living in a nonstop state of verbal assaults, and he deserves every second of it.

I sit in the chair across from him, with my back straight and legs crossed. I'm already concocting an excuse to get out of here; being alone with William is beyond uncomfortable.

“You didn't show up yesterday, and I did not receive a call stating you were not coming in.” He scowls, making the lines around his mouth deeper.

I don’t bother with playing the subservient employee. Nope. I’m the pissed-off girl who just learned who her father is. “I figured I had a pretty good excuse, and you were very aware of it.”

He purses his lips, and his eyes dart around the room. If he goes on the attack, I won't hesitate to retaliate full force. He keeps his wits though and says, “There are still rules and procedures you need to follow.”

I shrug my shoulders. “So, write me up or fire me. I'm not apologizing for taking a day off when you flipped my whole world upside down, William.” I'm doing my best to keep cool and not let him get to me, but my emotions are violent right now.

“You will show me some respect, young lady. You will not address me by my first name,” he growls.

I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and plead with my racing heart to steady. “My respect is earned, William. Just because you contributed a single sperm to my existence doesn't mean you automatically get my respect. When it's just you and me, I won't address you as my father, and when others are around, I'll call you President Spencer. I don't foresee myself having a change of heart on this anytime soon. So, if you have a problem with that, like I said, fire me.”

William leans back in his chair and presses the palms of his hands together in front of his face. “Please, Quinnten. There are people like the lab technician, Dr. Huffman, and others who know you are my daughter. It is only a matter of time before the entire Sanctuary is aware. It is a small community and word travels fast. I understand that I have upset you, but we must put some ground rules into play. I can't have you disrupting things while you are coming to terms with this.”

He's unbelievable. The man is still more concerned about his public image than the damage he's inflicted on his family and on me. I don't owe him anything, but I have more than myself to take into account. If I draw a firm line with him, the repercussions of it could fall back on my loved ones. I must be realistic and willing to negotiate as long as he's not asking me to compromise our safety.

“What is it you want from me?” I ask with a hardened expression.

He folds his hands upon his desk and leans forward. “I understand you don't like me, and I hope that changes one day. But right now, I need you to play the part of my supportive daughter. I have an obligation to the people here. They rely on me to make sound decisions. The Sanctuary cannot afford to have someone here who is blatantly disrespecting its authority figures, especially my own daughter. We have lived here for two years in peace, and one rogue citizen has the potential to upend that.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “You don't want me to talk shit about you, is that it?”

“Not just that. You are going to need to participate where my family is concerned.”

“I don't think your wife is going to like that very much.”

“She doesn't have a choice in the matter. Jacqueline has been playing this part for decades; she knows what she must do.”

It's controlling and a complete farce on his part. The people of this community believe their leader has the ideal life. He's spoon-fed them lies about his happy family, and they appear to swallow every bite. This goes to show that everything my family feared about the Stern government held some truth.

“So, pretend we're a happy family for the betterment of the Sanctuary?” I ask, rolling my eyes.

“I hope one day you will not have to pretend, Quinnten. I'm sorry for the mistakes I made, and for the pain it caused you and your mother. I will make it up to you, but you have to give me a chance for that to happen.”

“What if I don't want to do this?” I ask, needing to know all my options.

A part of me screams not to get further involved, and then there's a tiny voice urging me to give him the opportunity to make up for his past transgressions. The little girl who used to daydream about meeting her father and that everything was a misunderstanding cries out inside of me.

William releases a long, exasperated breath. “As I said, I have an obligation to this community. Our goal is to rebuild this continent, and it starts within this mountain. While the world beyond these walls is in turmoil, I owe it to every person here to give them my all. I think you of all people could understand that as the one your friends relied on. They can’t afford to have their leader pulled in two directions at once.”

I bite down hard on the inside of my cheek, and the coppery taste of blood seeps onto my tongue. My anger pulses through me. I can read between the lines and see what he’s saying for what it is—his job comes first. He won't tolerate me compromising everything he's built here. Although, part of me understands because I’ve felt the same way for two years. But I’m the family in his situation. I’m the one he should care about above his job. Just like I do with my true family. I can’t risk losing the safety they’ve found here by upsetting William. They deserve a shot at something better—at a normal life.

“Is that it?” I ask, not hiding my annoyance.

He presses his lips together in a tight smile that doesn't reach his eyes. “For now.”

With a nod, I rise from the chair.

“Quinnten, I mean it. I will do everything in my power to make it up to you. I have already lost one daughter, and I do not want to lose another.”

It's the same words Ridge said to me about his sister. This missing link in their family has affected all of them. I hope they're not looking for me to replace her. They will be sorely disappointed. With that final thought, I walk out of his office and back to my desk.

William and I have done nothing more than outlined our relationship with chalk. For now, the borders are clear and defined, but over time, they'll wear away and become blurred until they don't exist at all. The connection with my father isn't stable like it is with River or the boys.

I look at the ring Ryland placed on my finger. It's a token of his love and dedication to me, both of which are as tangible to me as the jewel embedded in silver wrapped around my finger. It’s real—a far cry from the family William wants to show the Sanctuary. But I’ll play his game for no other reason than keeping my real family safe.