Savage Vicious Heir: Part Two: A dark high school bully romance

8. Abigail

ABIGAIL

I’ve never minded being alone.

There’s something oddly comforting about being at one with yourself.

But being alone here, in the house where I grew up, the house where I lost my parents and my life fell apart, haunts me.

I barely slept last night. Pacing the big, empty house like a cat on the prowl.

Maybe it was Tally’s visit—her parting words. Or maybe it’s the fact that I know I can’t stay here, that I can’t hide forever.

Either way, sleep didn’t come easy.

Not until I found a small paring knife in one of the kitchen drawers and sliced it across my thigh.

Shame sits heavy in my chest as my fingers dance over the fresh dressing there. But the small measure of relief I felt was worth it.

I don’t want to die.

I don’t particularly want to live right now either. But I know deep down, I don’t want to die.

I just need… I need?—

A knock at the door echoes through the house, startling me.

I should have known Tally wouldn’t stay away. But I’m not sure I’m ready to go back to All Hallows’ yet either.

The fresh cut on my thigh stings as I hurry down the hall to the door and yank it open expecting to see?—

“You.”

“Can we talk?” Elliot runs a hand down the back of his neck, barely meeting my gaze.

It shouldn’t hurt, but it does.

“No, go away.” I go to slam the door in his face, but he presses his palm against it.

“Please, Abi. I… I’m worried about you.”

A bitter laugh leaves my lips. “I find that hard to believe. I’m fine. You’ve seen me. You can leave now.”

His stormy eyes narrow, dropping down my body, his nostrils flaring as his gaze lands on my thighs.

Lust and shame swirls inside me as I yank down my t-shirt over my pyjama shorts.

“You cut yourself again.” There’s a quiver in his voice that I’m sure I must be imagining.

“I’m fine,” I snap.

“Abi, you can’t?—”

“No, Elliot,” a weary sigh rolls through me, “You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to turn up here pretending you care when we both know it’s a lie. That I’m nothing more than a game?—”

His hand shoots out and he grabs me around the throat. My hand goes to his and we stand there, his fingers curled tenderly around my skin, locked in a stalemate.

“Why are you doing this?” I whisper, my heart ratcheting. “Why can’t you just let me go?”

“I… Fuck. Fuck.” He snatches his hand away and jams his fingers into his hair, pacing like a caged animal.

“Elliot, calm down. Just?—”

The crack of his fist driving into the wall stuns me and I clap a hand over my mouth, watching as blood trickles down his hand.

Pain contorts his features as he stares at me, pleads with me for something I don’t understand. “I shouldn’t have come,” he says with a defeated sigh.

“So why did you?”

“Because…”

The invisible thread between us twists and tightens.

There’s no escaping him. I realise that now.

So long as we’re both still in Saints Cross, attending All Hallows’, I’ll never be able to escape him.

But there’s only a few weeks left until exams. Then college is over, and they’ll all be moving on to university.

“Come on.” I tip my head. “I’ll clean you up.”

Elliot hesitates but I take his good hand and tug him further into the house.

“You should have slammed the door in my face,” he murmurs.

“Yeah, well, I’m not as cold and heartless as some people.”

He flinches behind me, but I ignore him.

If I don’t, I’ll crumble. And I can’t afford to let Elliot in again.

No matter how much my heart yearns for him.

Silence greets us as we enter the kitchen.

“Sit,” I say, motioning to one of the stools at the breakfast island.

It isn’t lost on me that this isn’t the first time I’ve cleaned him up. We have a habit of patching each other up—of attempting to fix each other.

But it’s only ever temporary.

Elliot drops onto the stool, blood still dripping down his wrist and arm.

“That was silly,” I state as I gather the first aid kit and a clean towel.

“Yeah, well, we can’t all be as perfect as you,” he bites back but there’s no venom in his words.

Another bitter laugh crawls up my throat as I meet his icy gaze. “I think we both know that’s not true,” I whisper.

“Abi, I?—”

“Don’t. What’s done is done.” My heart twists. “Nothing you say can undo that night, Elliot. Nothing you say will change the fact that I’m me and you’re… you.”

He drops his head, peeking up at me through his dark lashes. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Red.”

I ignore him, arranging the first aid supplies on the marble countertop and take his bleeding hand in mine. “You might have broken something,” I point out.

Elliot flexes his fingers, letting out a small huff. “I haven’t.”

“Very well.”

Methodically, I clean his hand, taking extra care over his busted knuckles. The air is thick and heavy between us, full of regrets and shame and hurt.

I hate him.

But I hate that I still want him more.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he says, breaking the tension, the awkward silence threatening to suffocate me.

“This probably requires medical attention.”

“I’m a quick healer.”

My eyes flick to his and I instantly regret it. He’s looking at me with such reverence. It confuses me.

It makes my heart beat faster.

Despite everything, it makes me wish things were different.

Makes me want things.

Things I know I can never have.

“Will you at least let me explain?” he asks quietly. Softly.

Too soft for a boy like Elliot Eaton.

“Will it change anything?” My brow arches and his expression drops.

I let out a small, defeated laugh.

Of course it won’t.

“I need you to do something for me,” I say.

“Anything.”

He means it. I know he does.

But those days are over.

“I need you to stop.”

“Stop?” He frowns.

“Acting like you care.”

“Abi, I do?—”

“Not enough.” I shake my head, digging deep to find the courage to say the words without falling apart.

“You don’t understand,” he grits out as I begin to bandage his hand. “My family?—”

“I get it. I do. But it doesn’t excuse what you did. How humiliated you made me feel.”

A shudder goes through me, but I force myself to look at him.

To really look at him.

“I trusted you, Elliot. I…” I stop myself.

Nothing good can come from confessing the depth of my feelings towards him.

Not now.

“I never wanted to hurt you.”

“But you did.” A sad smile tugs at my lips as tears burn the backs of my eyes. “There.” I tie off the bandage and lower his hand. “All better.”

“Thanks.”

A beat passes.

And another as neither of us speak.

Blood roars in my ears, the silence between us deafening.

Elliot reaches for me, tucking my hair behind my ear. “You need to come back to school.”

“I will. I mean, I am. Tomorrow.”

I’d already decided that before he showed up.

“Good. That’s… good.” He swallows hard, his thumb brushing my cheek.

It’s such a small, innocent touch. But it still makes my breath catch and my heart race.

“We’re not okay, Elliot. I need you to know that.” Something flashes in his eyes, but I ignore it. “There are only a few weeks left of school. I’m sure we can manage to stay out of each other’s way.”

“Is that what you really want?” He studies me, his expression so intense it makes it hard to breathe.

“Yes.” No.

Elliot drops his hand and stands. I back up, giving him space all while a sinking sensation spreads through me.

“Okay then. I’ll do my best to stay out of your way.”

“Good.”

My stomach churns at how awkward things have become.

Somewhere along the way, Elliot had become my safe haven. My sanctuary. The one place I didn’t have to hide.

But he ruined it.

He did that.

And now, I can’t trust him anymore.

This is what I want.

I want him to leave me alone. I want him to back off and give me space to get over him.

So why does the idea of him walking out of my house—out of my life—hurt so much?

Elliot doesn’t leave though.

He stands there, staring at me.

“Elliot, what?—”

He stalks towards me and slides his hand along the side of my neck. I gaze up at him, my heart crashing in my chest.

His lips brush my forehead, sending shivers zipping down my spine. “See you around, Red.”

Elliot walks away from me without a backward glance, and I realise that I was right all along.

I’m not the kind of girl worth fighting for.

“You can do this,” I chant to myself as I stare at my reflection in the mirror.

It’s early but if I want to make it to class on time, I need to leave soon since I didn’t go back to my dorm room last night.

I almost did.

I packed my things and everything. But something stopped me.

My phone vibrates and I grab it off the worktop.

Tally: How are you feeling?

Abigail: I’m okay.

Tally: Good. I’ll see you soon. xx

I might not have made it back to campus, but I did text Tally letting her know I’d be in this morning.

Something clicked into place last night after Elliot left. I might be shy little orphan girl Abigail Bancroft. But I’m also so much more than that.

I can do this.

I can.

I inhale a shaky breath.

It’s only a few weeks, and they’ll be gone. I know Mr Porter is probably going to suggest I resit my second year. But that’s okay.

It will give me more time to figure out what I want to do after.

I grab my bag and keys and head out to my car. The sun is shining, and I can’t help but think it’s a sign.

The universe’s way of letting me know that everything will be okay.

But as I get nearer to All Hallows’ my false bravado begins to crumble.

What if they all know?

What if Ethan told everyone? Or even worse, Scott did?

Anguish twists inside of me as I grip the steering wheel tighter. But I refuse to turn around.

I need to do this.

I have to.

All Hallows’ looms in the distance and I force myself to take a deep breath.

I have survived so much already.

I can survive losing my heart to Elliot Eaton.