23. Elliot
ELLIOT
Isay a silent prayer as I take the last turn that will lead me into my parents’ driveway.
It’s the very last place on Earth that I want to be. But I also don’t have any other choice.
There is no longer a choice to make.
It’s Abigail.
Every single thing leads me back to her.
She deserves so much more than what I can offer her at the moment.
She should never be anyone’s dirty little secret, forced to hide in the shadows. She’s done enough of that in her life. She deserves to be in the limelight. She deserves for everyone else to know just how beautiful and incredible she is.
I want the world to see how she shines just like I do when we’re together. But until I deal with my father, there’s no way for that to happen.
If I’m being honest, there may never be a way for that to happen.
I won’t lie, the thought of just packing our bags and running has crossed my mind more than once.But I know that no matter where we went, he’d find us.
His reach is far and wide and I have no doubt that he’d find me and drag me back kicking and screaming to fulfil my duty and continue his legacy.
It’s one of the most depressing facts about all of this. Even if he does agree to my wishes, he’ll always be there, breathing over my shoulder.
He’s always fucking there. Pointing out my failings, my bad decisions. All the ways I’m not like him and Scott. All the ways I tarnish our family’s reputation.
The breath I didn’t realise I was holding comes rushing out of me when I find only my mother’s car sitting in the driveway. That relief is quickly followed by guilt.
I’m doing this for Abigail and I should be man enough to see it through for the chance of giving us a future, not relieved that I can put it off a little longer.
Maybe he’s right. Maybe I’m not man enough…
Shaking my head, I banish my father’s voice from my mind and I kill the engine and climb out of my car.
The house is in silence as I make my way down the hall towards the kitchen where someone is usually hanging out.But as I turn the corner, I find that empty as well.
“Mum?” I call as I pad back through the hallway and come to a stop at the foot of the stairs, listening for sounds of life.
A noise comes from down the hall, and I immediately take off in the direction of the snug.
“Mum?” I ask again as I get closer and the sound of what I can only describe as snuffles hit my ear.
The moment I step into the room, I discover I’m right because my mother is frantically wiping tears from her cheeks.
“Mum, what’s wrong?” I ask, rushing inside and dropping to my haunches before her.
I watch as her mask falls into place and she straightens her spine.
I can’t imagine what her life has been like being married to a man like Johnathon Eaton. They’ve been together all their adult lives. He is all she’s ever known. But she’s not stupid. She knows he’s not a good man.
Not that she’s ever said a bad word about him.
Through everything, she has stood by his side and supported him no matter what.I’m not sure if I’m impressed with her tenacity or horrified by her lack of desire for a better life.
Surely, this isn’t what she always imagined for herself.
Yes, she has the money, the house, the luxury holidays, the cars and the designer labels.But all of that is bullshit when it comes in exchange for spending your life with a cold, ruthless cunt like my father.
“What has he done this time?” I ask, trying a different tack.
We’ve never had an open conversation about him. I’ve never been brave enough to even attempt it for fear of what she might be hiding.
I know how he treats me, and I can’t only imagine how he’s treated her behind closed doors over the years. The thought turns my blood to ice.
“Oh, Elliot,” she soothes, attempting to brush over the cracks.
I study her, wondering just how many times she’s done that over the years.
On the face of it, the Eaton family are everything you’d expect them to be.
United. Happy. The portrait of perfection.
But the truth is very different.
We’re so far from perfect it’s laughable.
“I’m just being silly.”
“No,” I snap, a little harsher than intended, making her rear back.
I push to my feet unable to remain still and begin pacing back and forth in front of her.“If you’re crying over something then it’s not nothing,” I spit. “If it upsets you, no matter how little it may seem to someone else, then it is not nothing.”
She stares at me with wide, glassy eyes, her mouth opening and closing like a fish as she tries to find a response.“Th-thank you,” she finally settles on.
I frown, confused about what she’s thanking me for.
She shakes her head, brushing the comment under the carpet.“Come and sit down. You’re making me nervous.”
I pause, unable to deny her before dropping down in the armchair opposite her. Resting my elbows on my knees, I drop my head into my hands.
“What’s wrong, Elliot?” she asks, concern laced through her voice.
Glancing up, I hold her eyes.“Why do you stay?” I ask, making her frown.
“Stay?” she repeats.
“Here. With him?”
Her chin drops but no words spill free.
Eventually, after a second, she says, “He is my husband. This…” she says, lifting her arm from her lap and gesturing to the house. “It’s my home. It’s where I’ve built my life. Our lives.”
The fact she doesn’t even question me tells me a lot.
“Mum, come on,” I plead, desperate for the truth. “You deserve more than this.”
Sadness washes through her features. “I made my decision, Elliot. I knew what I was signing up to all those years ago.”
“Did you?” I blurt. I find it hard to believe that she could have fully known what kind of man he was back then. Hell, he possibly didn’t know either.
They were young. Kids. Not that much older than me.
I squeeze my eyes closed and think of Abigail. I can’t imagine there ever being a time when I’ll feel differently about her.
Is that why Mum is still here? Does she truly love him?
“Things aren’t always as simple as they seem,” she confesses cryptically.“No marriage is perfect, sweetheart. But your father has given us so much.”
A bitter laugh erupts from my throat.
Ain’t that the fucking truth.
“What’s on your mind?” she implores, sensing that something is wrong.
I suck in a deep breath, desperate to let the truth flow free but equally as terrified to do so.
“I… I’ve met someone,” I say, holding her eyes. They instantly light up with excitement in the way every parent should when a child says those words.
Warmth spreads through my body at the sight of her being happy for me.But without saying another word, her excitement peters out.
She knows.
She knows that whoever it is isn’t who it’s meant to be.
“You’re not talking about Lauren, are you?”
“No,” I confirm.
Her eyes bounce between mine as she patiently waits for me to tell all.
“He’s not going to accept her, Mum. He’s not going to accept any of it. But I can’t walk away from her because of him. I won’t.”
She sucks in a deep breath, considering her response.“Who is it, Elliot?”
Silence follows her question. Only the loud ticking on the great grandfather clock out in the hallway can be heard as I prepare to confess the truth.
“Abigail Bancroft.”
She doesn’t react for a few seconds. It makes me wonder if she already suspected. If she’s overheard something, maybe from the night at the pub with Scott. Or maybe it’s just some freaky kind of mother’s intuition.
“Abigail is a sweet girl,” she finally says. “But I must admit, she’s not the kind of girl I thought you’d go for.”
I can’t help but laugh. “We have a lot in common actually.”
“Ah, my sweet boy,” she teases, probably thinking of all the things I’ve done over the years that were anything but sweet.
“It’s her, Mum. She’s the one,” I admit, my heart pounding against my ribs. “I’m not giving her up. I don’t care what it costs me. I’ll walk away from everything if it means I get to be with her. Nothing else matters.”
“Oh, Elliot. You always were my soft, sweet boy.”
Yeah, and it made my father hate me.
She lays her hand on my cheek. “It’s not going to be that easy, you must know that, Son.”
Her warning makes my racing heart sink into my stomach.
It’s what I expected to hear, but the words still strike me like a physical blow.
A sympathetic smile pulls at her lips, and the sight of it makes everything worse.She doesn’t think this is going to be possible.
Seeing my own fears reflected back at me is worse than I could have expected.
“Please, Mum. You have to help me,” I implore. “I love her. I’m in love with her, and I can’t lose her.”
I won’t.
It’s late by the time I let myself into Abigail’s dorm room, but the lights are on and she’s waiting for me in the middle of her bed.
She’s wearing one of my Saints t-shirts. Her hair is hanging messily around her shoulders and her face is clear of make-up.
She’s unashamedly her and I love it.
“How did it go?” she asks nervously, wringing her hands together in her lap.
“He wasn’t there,” I confess on a heavy breath as I lock the door behind me and pull my hoodie over my head.
“Oh,” Abigail whispers, deflating as I toe my trainers off, push my jeans and boxers from my hips and stalk closer.
“My mum was there. I told her everything,” I confess as I crawl onto the bed.
She shrieks as I grab her ankles and drag her beneath me.My shirt rides up letting me see the white cotton knickers she’s wearing beneath.
“Told her that I was in love with you, Red.”
“Oh my God,” she gasps, trying to tug her hands from my grip to cover her face.
Refusing to allow her to hide, I pin her arms back against the bed.“Told her you’re the one.”
“Elliot,” she moans when I settle between her thighs, letting my growing cock tease her.
“Told her that I’d give everything up for you.”
“Y-you can’t. You—” I cut off her argument with my lips, kissing her so deeply it makes my head spin and my body ache for her.
“It’s the truth, and one way or another we’ll figure out a way to be together,” I whisper against her jaw.
“What did she say?” Abigail gasps, writhing beneath me.
“That she’d do whatever she can to support us.”
“She really said that? Oh, Elliot, that’s— Oh my God,” she moans when I suck on the sensitive patch of skin beneath her ear.
I don’t want to talk about it—I just want her.
“But what about Scott?”
“I told you, Red. Let me deal with all that. You just focus on enjoying yourself.”
Releasing her hands, I drag my shirt up her body, leaving her in nothing but her tiny pair of knickers.
“Missed you today,” I say as my mouth descends for her breast.
We haven’t had any classes together, and after our weekend, I need her something fierce.
The only time I’ve had with her was at lunch, and that was from the other side of the table.
Nowhere near fucking good enough.
I want her next to me.
I want her to be mine in every way she can.
But right now, she has to remain my secret and I hate it.
But is what I want possible, or are we on a one-way track to a collision neither of us are going to survive?