Chapter 25
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Matteo
The Houston city lights stretch endlessly below me, and cars blaze past, in a hurry to get to the next light. Everyone is living their life, and mine is empty, dark.
My office is quiet except for the faint hum of the air conditioning and the soft ticking of the clock on the far wall. It’s late, and everyone else has gone home. Everyone except me.
I lean back in my leather chair, phone in hand, staring at Bella’s name on the screen.
I hate this. Calling her, asking for help. But Alessia’s silence and the security she has around her has turned into a wall I can’t breach.
Standing, I pace, and I dial.
The line rings twice before she answers.
“Bella,” I say, keeping my tone even. “Thank you for picking up.”
There’s a pause on the line, long enough to tell me she’s questioning whether she should have or not. But she takes her responsibilities to the Morettis seriously, another reason I respect and appreciate her. “What can I do for you, Matteo?”
“I need your help.”
Another pause, this one longer. “Is this about business?”
If it is, I know she will be fully engaged, ready to handle whatever I throw at her. I’m sure she’s hoping this is related to the family. But it’s not. “No.”
Finally she sighs. “Alessia?”
“Who else?”
Once more, she sighs, and this time it’s deeper, but when she speaks, her voice has a small note of compassion. “I’m not sure I can help you.”
“You’re the only one who can.”
She’s still listening, and I take that as a positive sign. “I need to talk to her,” I say.
“Matteo—”
“Listen,” I interrupt. “Please.” This situation is difficult for me, and I feel as if I’m sinking in quicksand. The harder I struggle, the worse it’s getting.
“Go on.”
“I fucked up. Bad.”
She doesn’t say a word, telling me she knows and agrees.
To her credit, she doesn’t say anything to make me feel better. She’s letting me experience the full weight of my mistakes.
But also to her credit, she doesn’t pile on, adding insult to injury.
“I need to fix this,” I tell her.
“Yeah, Matteo,” she agrees. “You do. If she matters to you, if you don’t want to lose her forever.”
Her harsh words are like a knife to my heart.
I thought it had stopped beating when Clara issued her ultimatum, but I was wrong. It had only stopped temporarily.
Until Alessia brought it back to life.
The ache I’m feeling now is so much worse than anything I’ve experienced before.
I’m left breathless, unable to think, unable to function. To lead.
“I can’t lose her,” I confess, my voice cracking.
And I can’t.
Now that she’s gone, I see how empty my life is.
I miss her. The silence in the house is oppressive. Our empty bedroom mocks me. And her studio. The place should be filled with her creativity. Instead it is vacant, dark. As hollow as I feel.
“So what do you want to do about it?”
“There are things I need to say.”
“Matteo, this isn’t about you and what you?—”
“And I need to listen.”
She’s silent, and in the background, a splash reaches me, as if she’s filling a glass. Then slowly she asks, “You want to listen?”
“Yeah.” Even though she can’t see me, I nod. “I do.”
“Hang on a second.” The phone is jostled, and she laughs. Quietly she scolds, “Nico! Stop. I’m on the phone.”
I have no idea what’s happening, but Nico might be giving her a quick kiss. Then I hear, “ Get your ass upstairs to bed.”
“Shh,” she tells him.
Grinning, I know I’m eavesdropping, and I don’t care.
Nico fought hard for Bella’s love, and now he’s not ashamed to let her know how much he cares, how much she means to him.
Their love is strong, and it seems to grow deeper each day.
Love.
In the background, their antics continue.
There’s something else there too. Joy, maybe? They like being together, want to be together.
My earlier thought slams into my head again.
Love.
Then it hits my heart.
I love Alessia.
Even in such a short time, she’s gotten to me.
I yearn to have her in my arms, my bed, my life. I have to make love to her, to possess her.
Without her, my life is empty.
“I’m sorry, Matteo.” She clears her throat. “Are you still there? I had something I needed to take care of.”
“Five minutes,” I hear Nico say in the background, his words carrying a stern warning. “Or else.”
“Look,” I cut to the chase. I want what Nico and Bella share, what my parents had. “Just tell me how to get through to her.”
“I can’t,” she admits.
I pull the phone away from my ear and scowl at the device. What the fuck does she mean, she can’t?
“This needs to come from you, from your heart. You need to figure it out.”
She’s the damn communications specialist we’ve hired to craft the perfect message. “Bella?—”
“You’re the Don. You’re negotiating peace treaties, trying to avoid war.” She’s quiet before finishing with, “Give this the same consideration. Think it through. What does she want? What would make her happy? How can you give her what she needs?”
I’ve been accustomed to putting others’ needs before my own, but not with my wife.
“How can you be the right man for her? I’ll give you a hint. It has to do with getting real.”
Even though she hasn’t given me specifics, she’s given me the world.
“You can do this, Matteo.”
“Bella!” Nico calls in the background.
“I’m sorry,” she says to me breathlessly. “I need to go.”
With that, she’s gone.
I sit back down in my chair, staring at the phone in my hand, as if trying to conjure the words I need.
Maybe nothing in my life has been more important than this moment.
Thoughts collide, coming and going, but none of them are right. I’ve never been good at apologies. Not the kind that matter.
And since Clara, I’ve avoided emotions as well.
Finally, following Bella’s advice, I open my heart.
After all, I’ve already lost Alessia. What else do I have to lose?
I agonize over my message, changing the words and punctuation a dozen times, imagining how she will react when she looks at her screen.
What I have to say is inadequate, but it’s all I have.
Finally I hit send.
Then, my heart thumping like it never has before, I come to my feet.
And I wait…