Chapter Nine
Tripp braced himself for a blow out of habit even though he didn’t really fear Graham, or expect violence from him. His words were horrid, though, so he couldn’t blame the beta if he extracted some kind of punishment. He simply didn’t care. Losing Blake, knowing what awaited his brother, was a hurt so bone-deep that he wondered if he would ever stop crying. It was all he could do to keep from curling up and willing himself to die. It was the pup who gave him any hope that his life was worth living.
Graham stepped inside the room and shut the door. He didn’t come any closer to the bed, however. He closed his eyes briefly before speaking. “I’m sorry.”
Tripp wiped his nose with the back of his hand, making his fury known through his gaze. “Saying that doesn’t make everything better. I know you didn’t want to give Blake back but it doesn’t change the fact that you did. You and the alpha and everyone else in this pack lied to us. We wouldn’t have stayed if we’d known what would happen. I can’t forgive you for that.”
On a sigh, his mate leaned against the door, hands shoved into his front pockets. “None of that is true. Blake made the decision to stay even though Alpha Elijah was up front with him about how things might go down if your old pack found you here. It was his decision to make, although once he’d brought you here, he relinquished his control over your fate. Elijah was never going to let an omega remain outside of a protective pack. It’s just simply not acceptable and your brother understood that. Blake’s future was the only matter in question.”
The beta straightened and took a few steps closer to the bed. “Blake was given the choice to run again before they arrived, and he chose not to. He would rather face whatever is to come from your sire than live among the humans alone. And Elijah did everything he could to at least make his return more palatable. That SUV was costly and will give an alpha from any pack status, as will the goods he sent along. We can hope that the man will accept the offer to trade even more for Blake. Plus, Elijah sent Draco as an escort for Blake’s benefit.”
Tripp understood his mate was trying to make him feel some hope, but he knew better. “It won’t matter to him. Our sire will take your alpha’s gifts and still torture Blake for so long as it amuses him.” The mere thought of what was going to happen to his brother made his stomach cramp and caused a fresh bout of tears to gush out. He had to clamp his hand over his lips to keep from wailing. His wolf whined and took no comfort in the encouraging yip from Graham’s wolf.
“I’m not going to try to encourage you to hope otherwise. You know your sire better than I. I can only say that I’m hopeful. Draco can be persuasive when he tries to be, and he’ll keep the other gammas from hurting Blake on the journey, at least.
“And, one more thing.” Graham came over to lean against the bed and peered down at him. “Elijah is our alpha, not mine. We all understand how upset you are so you’re open fury out there is to be overlooked. But you must guard your tongue with the man in the future. He did what was best for the pack, as his duty requires. It’s not for any of us to challenge him on it. No disrespect will be tolerated.” His tone was mild, almost apologetic, yet also resolute.
Tripp didn’t care. For the second time in his life, and the first time with deliberate intent, he went against his nature and how he was raised. “Then you better keep me locked up in here because I will never forgive any of you and I’m done with being the meek omega who does what he’s told without complaint.”
He couldn’t believe the words tumbling out of his mouth. Not even at the worst of times had he dared challenge any dominant, let alone his mate. He wanted to be a good, obedient omega. Losing Blake after all that they’d suffered had broken something inside him. He couldn’t get a handle on himself, couldn’t control his emotions, or his words. Everything about him was scattering and he feared he’d never be able to collect the pieces and put himself back together the way he was meant to be. Only the small movements of his pup kept him grounded. He wrapped his arms around the mound of his belly and held on for dear life.
Graham sighed again as he moved back over to the door. “Stay here, then. I’m not locking you in so come out whenever you feel up to behaving. I’m not going to tell you to stop being upset. I’m only requiring you to be respectful with it. Take a nap, and if I don’t see you in the dining room, I’ll bring your meals to you.”
With that, the beta left him alone with his misery. Tripp threw his head back and screamed. All the fear and even hatred that had brewed within him for his entire life filled the room. He didn’t stop vomiting it out until he collapsed with unbearable fatigue and fell asleep.
****
When next he woke, the lamp had been turned on and a plate of food and a pitcher of cider sat on the small table next to the bed. He hadn’t heard his mate come in but obviously Graham had and had chosen to let him sleep. No surprise there.
Tripp sat up, scrubbing tried tears from his cheeks. He felt horrible, hollowed out and achy. A fresh wave of agony washed over him as he remembered that Blake was gone. He would never see his brother again and images of the sigma’s fate would plague him for the rest of his life. How was he supposed to live with that?
With purpose.
The answer hit like a sledgehammer. That’s what Blake had wanted for him. It didn’t matter what awaited either of them as long as the pup was safe and living a good life. Blake had said that to him the very night they’d fled, leaving Victor’s body growing cold on the floor. Worry for the pup had propelled him to leave with Blake despite the terror of what might happen. It was what had sustained both of them any time being on the run had overwhelmed them. He had to hold onto that truth.
A stab of fear shot through him because the pup was still. Had his histrionics—however justified—hurt her? He straightened in a near panic, pressing his fingers around his belly, then whooshed out a relieved breath when she started poking him back and squirming.
“Thank the Gods.” His pup was the one bright spot in his life, always. He didn’t think of her as being part of Victor. She was his and his alone, someone to cherish, someone who would rely on him as no one else ever had.
He eyed the food, knowing he should eat.
Although his stomach remained tied in knots, he forced himself to first drink some cider, then start in on the thick sandwich of ham and cheese some sigma had probably made especially to tempt his appetite. Graham would have seen to that because in this way, the man was a good mate. There were heaps of potato salad and coleslaw, as well as a fat sugar cookie waiting for him, too. The more food he shoved into his mouth, the hungrier he felt. Soon he was down to his treat. He plumped up his pillows and leaned against the headboard as he nibbled the cookie.
This was what Blake had wanted.
There was no doubt about it. His brother had sacrificed everything to see that he and his pup got settled in a safe home. Here there was no fear, no hunger, no want of any kind. Graham hadn’t beat him for his insolence and wasn’t punishing him by withholding food. But he wasn’t going to be allowed the freedom to walk around with obvious resentment toward his mate and the alpha. There was no surprise there. The good of the pack was paramount and that meant everyone sticking to their place in the pack and complying with the hierarchy laid down by the Gods from the beginning.
He was an omega. He didn’t have the right to question dominants or show his anger. The rest of the pack members would be upset with the obvious fight against the natural order. And he didn’t want to cause the innocent others any distress. None of this was their fault. To be honest, it wasn’t the alpha’s or Graham’s, either.
“It’s mine.” Saying the words out loud made them all the more painful.
Shoving the last of the cookie into his mouth, he let out a whimper. He was furious at himself more than anyone else. That was the honest truth. To soothe both himself and the pup, he ran his fingers over his belly in slow circles, trying to imagine what part of the pup he felt. She played along by squirming away from his touch. Whether it was a deliberate game or not, he smiled at the pure joy of it. He needed to concentrate on the good in his life, although even as he thought it, he couldn’t imagine facing anyone for a while. He might have to stay in this little room until it was time to whelp. Would his mate allow him to indulge in such pique for long?
It was too hard to dwell on, so he snuggled down and closed his eyes.
Tripp knew the moment he wasn’t alone anymore even though he heard no noise. He opened his eyes slightly and looked around. Some long amount of time must have passed even though he hadn’t realized he’d slept because new food was on the table. And Graham sat on a stool that hadn’t been in the room before, by the foot of the bed, his elbows on his knees and his gaze fixed on Tripp. The beta’s expression was unreadable.
Tripp couldn’t look at his mate as he pushed himself upright. He stared at his own lap, waiting for the beta to say something. Another rebuke of some sort was obviously on its way. But his mate surprised him, yet again.
“How are you feeling?”
Tripp flicked his gaze up at the man before shrugging.
“I was glad to see you ate. Have the stew before it grows cold.” Graham’s tone was matter-of-fact, neither sharp nor cajoling.
Because he knew an order when he heard one, and he was hungry, Tripp gathered the bowl and a spoon and started eating. It was delicious, so he had no trouble eating with more enthusiasm than he felt about anything else.
Graham remained silent until Tripp was about halfway through his meal.
“You slept, too, I was glad to see that after the tantrum you threw.” He scratched his ear. “Your screaming really upset the sigmas, and the pups were taken on a walk so that they couldn’t hear it.”
Guilt stabbed him. “I’m sorry about that. They’ve only ever been kind to me. I couldn’t stop myself.”
“I understand. Everyone does, but if you keep it up, I’ll have to take you away from the longhouse until you can control yourself.”
The sight of his uneaten stew made him queasy, so he put the bowl aside. “It won’t happen again.” He hung his head with shame.
“Good. Such upset isn’t good for you or the pup, either.”
“She’s fine,” he bit out before he could think better of it.
“I know. I’ve been watching your belly ripple for a few minutes now. If I thought there was a problem, I would take you to the healer.”
“Whether I wanted you to or not.”
Graham didn’t show any anger. “That’s right. I’m always going to do what I know to be best for you. I would prefer if you’d agree with me, but I can’t rely on that.”
Determined to show his mate that he could be counted on to take care of himself and the pup, Tripp grabbed the bowl and scraped the last of his stew from its bottom. He forced it down his throat, feeling a little resentment after being made to feel like his preferences would be heard by his mate. “Because I’m just a dumb omega and don’t know anything.”
Now Graham did show some irritation. “You’re putting words in my mouth. I understand how upset and angry you are, but I don’t want to have to rebuild the trust I thought I’d established with you since our mating.” He stood abruptly.
Tripp tried not to flinch at the sharp movement and tongue. His hands gave him away, shaking a little as he tried to put the bowl back on the table and pour himself some cider.
With a grunt, Graham came over to do it for him. “And I don’t like how you’re afraid of me.” He poured some cider into a cup and handed it to him.
Tripp drank deeply before saying anything. “I’m not afraid of you. Not really.” He finished the cider before asking, “If you’re not going to beat me, what are you going to do?”
Taking the empty cup from Tripp’s hand, Graham sat on the side of the bed. “That’s up to you, actually. As I said, I can’t have you running around sowing discord no matter how legitimate your anger is. You’ll have to stay in here, only going out with me until you can accept what’s happened and act civilly.”
“I don’t know if I can ever do that.” He shuddered at the effort to keep himself from screaming and crying again, despite his recent promise.
“With time you will. Grief doesn’t go away but it gets easier to manage. At least that’s what my parents told me.” He paused as he put the cup down. “They’re worried about you. Everyone is.”
Tripp had nothing to say to that, so he kept silent.
Graham got up and stripped off his clothing. “It’s time for bed.” His hard cock sprang out as soon as his pants were undone. Tripp wasn’t surprised. This was the core of a dominant’s being. No matter the lack of a beating, his mate would demand his due with a mounting. Tripp couldn’t even muster up resentment as he took his own clothing off and turned over to his hands and knees to present his ass to his mate.
The artificial light went out and the mattress depressed with the heavy weight of the beta.
Graham put a hand lightly on Tripp’s hip. “No, we’re not doing that. Lie on your side to be more comfortable for sleep.”
Perverse as it was, Tripp felt a bit of disappointment. “Why not? You want me and it’s my duty.”
His mate muttered what sounded like a few curses before removing his hand. “Because I don’t want you to submit out of duty. It’s no good unless we both enjoy it.”
The answer didn’t surprise him. Not really. He’d come to know how different Graham was from Victor. And he was a good man. Of that, there was no real question.
I’m the one going about this the wrong way.
Tripp swallowed past the lump clogging his throat. “Maybe I do want it. Maybe it will help chase away all these awful feelings inside me.”
Graham’s hand returned, sliding over Tripp’s ass. “Do you mean that?”
“Yes.” His voice was low and cluttered with unshed tears, but he spoke the truth and slick coated his hole to prove it.
His mate inhaled noisily, then moved to position himself between Tripp’s legs. The large beta had to nudge them farther apart to make room. He spread Tripp’s ass cheeks with a firm grip before brushing the blunt head of his cock against the wet puckered ring. He slid his cock in with one long thrust.
Tripp arched his back against the sudden invasion, reveling in the burn of being breached. The physical pain overwhelmed the emotional one and allowed him to simply concentrate on the intense pleasure of being filled and claimed.
Graham didn’t speak, didn’t ask him if he was okay, and Tripp appreciated that. He didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to be treated as if he were going to break apart. All that mattered was the physical arousal of their bodies being joined. And his mate didn’t waste any time, pounding into him with increasing speed, his cock going as deep inside Tripp’s ass as possible. Every thrust in and dragging out rubbed the sensitive spot within him with amazing ferociousness. His focus concentrated on the sharp pleasure it sent to his dick and balls.
The orgasm built with dizzying speed, as usual without any direct attention required for his cock. His balls tightened and his shaft jerked as the first climax hit him. All thoughts shattered for a good reason this time, as warm cum coated his channel. He didn’t need to think or worry about anything. His breath caught but before he could sigh it out, another orgasm started an abrupt climb because his mate didn’t stop drilling his ass. He gripped the sheets as he weathered the ongoing assault.
Far from resenting the continued claiming, he wanted more, pushing his ass back to meet each thrust. He moaned and panted and even pleaded for more—harder and faster. Nothing mattered except chasing the next climax and catching it with an iron fist. It roared through him and he let out a cry…and the tears that had been hovering behind his eyes. Cum splashed his belly and the inside of his ass at the same time. He let his misery come out, too, sobbing as he collapsed as much as his body would permit.
Within seconds, he was on his side, cocooned within Graham’s embrace. The storm of misery wailed out of him as he clung to his mate. The horrible guilt buried within him had to be set free. He couldn’t contain it anymore.
“It’s not fair! Blake doesn’t deserve punishment.”
Graham clutched him tighter. “I know, baby. I know.”
Tripp found the strength to push away. “But you don’t. That’s the thing. No one does, except me and Blake.”
Graham frowned. “What do you mean? Your brother killed your mate protecting you from him. What else is there to know?”
Taking a deep breath, Tripp let the poison out. “He didn’t. Blake didn’t kill Victor. I did.”