Saving You (Words We Never Said #6)

7. Ridge

CHAPTER SEVEN

RIDGE

They were parked at the entrance to the street, the lights a soft yellow glow that illuminated the houses, but his car was in the shadows. Ridge could see far enough down to make out the outline of Oz’s car, which was still there.

Right before dinnertime, Oz started to panic that his parents were going to retaliate by having Oz’s car towed, so Ridge promised he’d fix it if that happened. He knew the owners of the two tow companies in town very well, and both of them owed him enough favors that he could comfortably make that promise.

Luckily, he didn’t need to.

“Okay,” Oz said aloud. He’d put his CIs back on an hour before they left, once Ridge got the okay from Ina that she was cool having a sleepover with Rex. Oz had gotten on a FaceTime with Frey and promised to tell him everything the next time they met up, and after that, everything calmed down.

Except Ridge could see that Oz’s hands were shaking, and he had a feeling that’s why he opted to put his processors back on. He’d spent the afternoon trying to hide how shaken up he was, and there was still a faint tremble in his fingers whenever he lifted them to sign.

“You want me to walk you?” Ridge asked, his fingers tight on the steering wheel.

Oz bit his lip, then shook his head. “What if they’re watching? I don’t want you stuck in the middle if my mom comes out to make another scene.”

At that, Ridge turned off the car and twisted to face Oz. “Yeah, no. I don’t give a fuck what your mom says to me. You’re not doing this alone. Let’s go.”

“Wait!” Oz said as Ridge started reaching for his door handle. “I already dragged you into this deep enough. Seriously, it’s fine. I can handle it.”

Ridge laughed softly. “I know you can, but I’m your boyfriend now, remember? What kind of boyfriend lets his partner face that kind of bullshit on his own?”

Oz’s ears reddened. “I really am sorry about that. I’m going to tell them the truth tonight.”

“Why?” Ridge asked, wide-eyed. “That’s not going to help this situation, Oz. They were literally trying to force you into an engagement with someone you broke up with…how long ago?”

‘Four years,’ Oz signed, his lips in a tight, thin line.

Ridge shook his head. “Four years. Christ. I’ve seen some bullshit in my day—and I mean some bullshit —but what happened today comes only second to having a baby abandoned at my station a couple weeks later that I had helped deliver a few weeks before.”

“Oh my God,” Oz whispered. “People really abandon babies at fire stations?”

“I mean, it’s better than the alternative. I’ve been lucky enough not to get one of the dumpster calls,” Ridge said, his voice going tight at the thought, “but they happen.”

“Dumpst—oh. Oh my God .” Oz looked horrified.

“And bathroom garbage cans. Public toilets. So yeah, the SafeHaven is better. But God, the feeling in my chest when I saw her in that little cot? I haven’t felt anything that heavy until this afternoon. Different reasons, obviously.”

Oz bowed head. “You ever figure out what happened to that baby?”

Ridge couldn’t help a small laugh, and he shrugged. “Actually, yeah. She’s four and a half, she loves Disney movies—especially the nature documentary ones. She can’t get enough of dinosaur chicken nuggets, and she has the coolest Deaf mentor I’ve ever met.”

Oz stared at him for a long beat. “You…I… that was her? Ina was that baby?”

Ridge shrugged and glanced away. The story was both wonderful and painful all at the same time. The big picture, it was the best thing that ever happened to him, but all the details in between had been hard, and he knew his daughter was going to be dealing with the trauma of her own abandonment for the rest of her life.

It didn’t matter how much he loved her or how much she was his. There would be pieces missing for her—an ache he couldn’t soothe. A void he couldn’t fill. He could only hope that she trusted him enough as she got older to be there for her when she started dealing with it on her own.

And that was only part of it. There were nights he still woke up after nightmares about a state agent taking her away. He still felt the echo of stress as he’d waited for the adoption to be approved. And every now and again—when it was very dark and very quiet—he wondered if one day her mother would come looking for her to ask for her back.

“Hey, sorry,” Oz said. He was clearly reading the look on Ridge’s face.

“No, no, it’s fine. It was…difficult back then. Her birth was traumatic, and her mom was just a kid. She did what she had to do, and Ina is more loved than I ever was when I was her age, so I guess that’s something, right?”

Oz swallowed thickly. “I had no idea. I mean, I knew she was adopted, but I didn’t realize?—”

“It’s fine,” Ridge insisted.

“Does she know?”

Ridge laughed. “Sort of. Her therapist and I came up with a story about her getting put into a basket at the fire house to wait for her adoptive dad to come and find her. A little hint of magic with some realism in it. She said it would help her process everything a little better until she’s older and able to comprehend what actually happened.”

“Does she understand? Verbally, I mean.”

“Oh,” Ridge snorted, “no. The story’s in ASL.” He lifted his hands and repeated the first part, ‘Once there was a man who found a very special little baby to take care of.’ He shrugged. “Her therapist is Deaf.”

Oz’s brows flew up. “ Really ?”

“Yeah. I mean, it didn’t make sense to send her to a hearing one, right?”

Oz’s face went on a whole journey that Ridge couldn’t quite follow, but it ended in him looking upset. “I never thought about it. And it’s my fault for never asking.”

“Hey, that’s okay. I mean, we weren’t close. And I get why you weren’t interested in being friends with me?—”

“No,” Oz interrupted loudly. He cleared his throat and shook his head. “It’s hard for me to open up. I tend to assume everyone’s like my parents. I figured since you had her implanted, you were doing the whole Deaf mentor thing for show. I mean, it’s obvious she signs at home. She’s not behind in her language acquisition, but…I don’t know. I guess I didn’t understand why you’d have the surgery if she was going to live a Deaf life.”

“Someone told me it was better. That she’d have the option to choose how she goes through life, and if we started when she was older, it would be harder for her,” Ridge said before Oz could speak. “I had no idea what to do back then. I thought, maybe she’ll resent me for waiting until she’s older. But she could just as easily resent me for having this done before she was old enough to choose for herself. In any other case, I would have waited. I don’t know why I was a dipshit about this one thing.”

Oz laughed and rolled his eyes. “You’re being a little hard on yourself. You had to go through the system to adopt her, I’m assuming?—”

‘Yes,’ Ridge signed.

“And during all that chaos—because I know it’s chaos—you learned she was Deaf. So you took the time to start learning her language for yourself. And I’m going to also assume you had no one to go to for advice.”

“Just her audiologist,” Ridge admitted.

Oz pulled a face and nodded. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think she’ll resent you for choosing to have her implanted as a baby. I resent my parents for these”—he tapped his processor on the right—“because they used it as a reason to never let me be Deaf. They never learned ASL, even when it took me a really long time to adapt to speech and hearing. Like, so long the doctors thought my case was a failure. But my parents were so embarrassed about using sign language that they refused to give up on speech therapy, and eventually, I just…adapted. If they’d given me access to both worlds—if they’d let me feel like a whole and complete person whether I was choosing to hear or not, I wouldn’t be so angry at them all the time.”

Ridge desperately wanted to hug him, but he wasn’t sure if that was welcome. His chest felt like it was cracking in two and he wanted to do something— anything —to help this man. Even if it meant risking his own heart.

“Let me be your boyfriend.”

“Uh…”

“I mean your fake boyfriend,” Ridge said quickly, afraid he’d given himself away. “I know you’re straight?—”

“I’m not.”

Ridge blinked. “Oh. Uh…”

Oz bit his lip, then raised his hands. ‘I really am bisexual. That wasn’t a lie. I’ve never told anyone before, but I’ve known that about myself for a while. I don’t know if a straight man would kiss another man the way I kissed you.’

Ridge felt his whole body heat. Shit. Everything he thought he knew about Oz had just turned upside down and inside out. He was bi. He was bi. He liked men. Which meant in the perfect world, Ridge had a chance.

He was too afraid to give himself hope, but he also couldn’t help a tiny spark flaring to life behind his ribs. Oz was right about the kiss. It had been chaste, full of chaos and anger, but it had also been very good. And God what he’d give to be allowed to do that again.

‘Cool. So I can be your fake boyfriend, and it won’t be too awkward if we have to use PDA then.’

Snorting, Oz shrugged. ‘That’s a lot for me to ask of you.’

‘You’re not asking. I’m offering,’ Ridge insisted. ‘And if you tell them the truth now, it’ll only make them try harder to do this thing with your ex. Right?’

The heartbreak on Oz’s face told Ridge everything he needed to know.

‘Anyway, it’s not that weird. I know two guys personally who pretended to date someone to get people off their backs,’ Ridge told him. He didn’t add that those two men had ended up with their faux-boyfriends, and they were currently living happily ever after. But their circumstances had been very different. ‘I don’t want you to hurt any more than you’re already hurting.’

Oz sat back and rubbed at his eyes before dropping his hands into his lap and answering him with his voice. “Okay, but only until I figure out how to get a spine when it comes to them. And just until I figure out how to get it through Darcy’s head that she and I are over. For good. That even if you and I break up, she’s not the person I’ll be coming home to.”

Ridge’s stomach twisted wildly, and he had to take a few breaths before he spoke. “I’m here for however long you need me. I’m not exactly dating right now anyway.”

Oz frowned. “Why is that?”

“Seriously? Single dad? Firefighter with the world’s most fucked schedule? Deaf kid who is amazing, but also it means I’d have to meet someone who either knows ASL or is actually willing to learn?”

“Is that really a deal breaker?”

“What? That my partner speaks our home language?” Ridge asked, then scoffed. “Uh, yeah. I’d never subject Ina to anything less than the person I choose to be with prioritizing her in her own home.”

Oz mouthed something Ridge couldn’t figure out, and then he shook his head.

“What?” Ridge pressed.

“It’s…nothing. Don’t worry about it. Let’s go get my car before I lose my nerve.” Before Ridge could press him further, Oz grabbed the door handle and let himself out. Ridge had no choice but to either throw the man to the wolves or follow.

And Ridge was definitely against letting someone like Oz be taken down by sharp claws and gnashing teeth.

“Yo!”

Ridge knew this was coming. He knew that the first chance Grady got to be on the schedule with him, he was going to get cornered. He’d actually knelt beside his bed and prayed before he left for work, but he also didn’t really believe in God, so he wasn’t expecting divine intervention.

Pasting on a smile, Ridge spun on his heels and turned all the way around, aborting his trip to the showers. He was still drenched in sweat from his hour on the treadmill, and he kind of hoped he smelled bad enough to send Grady running.

Then again, Grady was a dad, so he was probably immune to everything funky.

“So. That party,” Grady said, jerking his chin toward the locker room doors.

Ridge picked up his pace again with Grady at his heels. Were they really going to talk about this butt-ass naked? Apparently so, because when they got inside the empty room, Grady immediately began to strip.

“Look, Oz and I didn’t mean to create a scene or anything?—”

“Yes you did.” Grady laughed, interrupting his word-vomit excuse. “You forget I actually know a decent amount of ASL.”

Fuuuuuck. He had forgotten. He was pretty sure Oz had too. He was down to his boxers and collapsed to the bench, staring at his locker.

“Relax,” Grady said, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. Ridge pretended that Grady’s dick and balls weren’t hanging there right next to him. Christ, was that a tattoo on his…nope. He wasn’t looking. “I’m not going to sell you two out.”

Ridge looked up into his face. “Please get a towel.”

Grady burst into laughter as he opened his locker and pulled one out, wrapping it around his waist. “I thought you liked this shit.”

“Not the dick and balls of a married man, bro. I have standards. But, uh,” Ridge said when Grady was covered, “thanks, I guess. None of that was actually planned.”

Grady laughed again. “Yeah, that was pretty obvious.”

“Do you think Oz’s mom figured it out?”

“No. She and Alora have their heads so far up Darcy’s ass. They really thought their fuck-face plan was going to work.” Now, Grady sounded angry. “The look on Oz’s face, man…”

He trailed off as Ridge did his best not to think about it, but how could he forget? Oz had worn that shattered expression all evening.

“Alora and I aren’t talking right now,” Grady said quietly. “I’m in the guest room. She begged me not to tell anyone right before I left for work.”

Ridge’s brows flew up. “She’s more concerned with how your marriage looks than what she did to her brother?”

Grady nodded, giving Ridge a long, careful look, then headed for the showers. Part of Ridge wanted to wait until he was done so the conversation would be over. He was tired, damn it. He hadn’t heard from Oz since he left, and he’d spent all morning worried out of his mind.

But he was also standing in front of an ally, and Oz didn’t have many of those in his family. In the end, he got up off the bench, undressed, then followed his friend to the stall beside him. When the water began to run down his back, he was finally able to take a deep breath.

“How is he?” Grady asked after a long beat.

Ridge winced. “Better than I would be, I think. Pissed. Hurt. Sad.”

“Shit.” Grady was quiet again, and then Ridge heard the loud farting noise of his shampoo bottle. “You think he’d talk to me if I swung by his place?”

“I don’t think he’d turn you away, but I think he’ll be worried you’ll end up taking Alora’s side when things settle down.” Ridge didn’t know that for sure, but that’s how he was feeling. He liked Grady. He wanted the best for him. But Christ, he didn’t trust the man as far as he could throw him, and Grady was a big dude.

Grady was silent for a long moment, and Ridge felt kind of bad.

“Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to?—”

“Nah, I get it. Why don’t you pass along a message for me? Tell him that if he needs anything, I’m here.”

“I can do that,” Ridge said. He stuck his head under the water, then lathered up as quickly as he could while also getting properly clean. “Thanks for not being a dick about all this.”

“It’s the least I can do. Anyway, I know you like him, so?—”

“I don’t like him,” Ridge said, a little too fast to not be giving himself away. Shit .

Grady laughed, and then his water shut off, and Ridge could hear the flop flop flop of his shower sandals on the tile. “I’m not gonna sell you out either, man. I swear.”

Ridge groaned softly and shut off his shower, grabbing his towel before he made his way out. He gave Grady a look as they walked back to their lockers, and he sat down to dry his hair. “How obvious am I?”

Grady snorted, reaching for his boxers and jeans. “I’ve seen worse, but I think with you signing at home, your face gives you away more than it would have before.”

That figured. He wouldn’t trade it for the world, but it sucked constantly wearing his heart on his sleeve. “You think Oz knows?”

“I think Oz wouldn’t care either way. He might be a hard little nut in a tough shell, but he’s a good guy. He’d never make you feel like shit for your feelings. But I also don’t think he knows. I don’t think he’d take advantage of you like that if he did. Not even in the middle of a crisis.”

Well, that was something.

“And it probably helps that he’s straight, right?” Crap. Ridge forgot that Oz hadn’t come out before the party, and now Grady thought it was all part of the lie. “Those unattainable crushes on straight guys tend to blow over pretty quick,” Grady added.

“Wait, how would you know about crushes on straight guys?” Ridge demanded.

Grady’s ears turned pink. “I might have had a thing for the quarterback on my high school team. But he was straight as a goddamn steel arrow.”

“Oh, shit. I didn’t know you were bi,” Ridge murmured softly. Man, secrets were coming out all over the place and he wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that. Were his next?

Grady shrugged. “I’m not really in the closet or anything. I’ve just been with Alora for so long it’s hard to remember what those early days were like, you know? But yeah, I figured my shit out in high school and kissed a few guys my first semester of college.”

“Alora knows?”

Grady rolled his eyes as he rubbed his roller ball deodorant on his pits. “She used to try and convince me to make out with my friends when we went to parties together. It always gave me the ick, but I figured she was drunk.” He looked down and sat hard on the bench. “I think I’ve been excusing a lot of her red flags for a while now.”

“It happens.” Ridge reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “Maybe you and her can work this out though, you know? Something’s gotta wake her up to the way she’s been acting.”

He licked his lips, then took a breath and nodded. “Here’s hoping because divorce and child support do not get along well with my fuckin’ salary.”

Ridge winced. “Tell me about it. Neither does private tutoring and therapy. But here we are.”

“Here we are,” Grady echoed. Before he could say anything else, his phone buzzed, and he looked at the screen, grimacing. “Gotta take off. Lor needs me to pick up Sarah.”

“I’ll catch you later,” Ridge said as he watched Grady grab his stuff and head for the door.

“Don’t forget to tell Oz that I’m here if he needs me,” Grady called as he left.

Ridge didn’t have time to answer him before the door shut, but that didn’t matter. He wasn’t going to forget. If anyone deserved a little bit of good news after all the bullshit that rained down on him, it was Oz.