Saving You (Words We Never Said #6)

9. Ridge

CHAPTER NINE

RIDGE

He wanted to say that he stayed over. That he pinned Oz to the couch and showed him exactly how good it could be with a man. Hell, he would have taken curling up together and making out with him for hours like he’d once done with his secret high school boyfriend.

But he could tell Oz needed time and space away from everything. Ridge had come over to talk to him about Grady. He hadn’t expected to overhear Oz grunting his name while he jerked off in the shower. And he hadn’t expected the ambush right before that.

He knew Oz hadn’t either.

They kissed once more, and then Ridge got up and cleared away their plates, packing up the leftovers and putting them into Oz’s tragically empty fridge. He almost said something about how the man needed to start taking better care of himself, but that was a lecture that could wait for a day when Oz wasn’t emotionally wrecked.

Instead, Ridge touched his jaw, then kissed him one final time before letting himself out. He waited on the doorstep until he heard the click of the lock and the slide of the chain, and then he did a quick up-and-down glance of the street to make sure his mom and sister weren’t hovering in a parking spot nearby.

Nothing looked suspicious, so he jumped in his car and headed for Lane’s street. He’d gotten a text a few hours before letting him know that they were all in the backyard. It had become the gathering place since Adele’s house had burnt down, and he and Kash were still renting while they designed their new place.

The remains of Adele’s house had been cleared away, and the lot was still empty as Kash and Adele decided if they wanted to rebuild there or start over somewhere different. Ridge understood what they were going through. He’d never been in a fire like that—he’d never lost everything—but he saw it far too often with his job.

He didn’t always get to see the emotional aftermath, but it didn’t take a strong imagination to figure out how it would feel to stand on the edge of what was and what would be. And it felt strange to see the grass-covered dirt mounds all over and know that a house had once stood there.

Not just that, but a home. A life. Gage’s childhood. And the place that Kash and Adele had finally come together.

His chest ached a little with secondary grief as he parked on the street and made his way to the side gate. He could hear chatter and music and the occasional screams of kids. He could easily pick Ina’s out—her own a little deeper and rougher than Briar’s.

He felt the sudden urge to lift her into his arms and squeeze her in an attempt to make sure nothing ever hurt her the way Oz had been hurt. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that Oz’s mom and sister treated him the way they did.

They had to know how much pain they were causing. He didn’t try to hide it, so how could they live with themselves knowing they were the cause of it? How could they sleep at night?

Christ .

“Yo!”

Ridge blinked. He’d made his way to the porch on autopilot, and Adele’s voice dragged him out of his thoughts. He managed a weak smile as he took the empty chair beside the love seat where Kash and Adele were cuddling.

There was still envy in his chest, but it was less now that he had something with Oz. Not that he was going to tell anyone that. But it was still hard to see Adele and Kash curled up together, Adele’s fingers gently toying with his husband’s hair. It was hard to see the rings on their fingers and the love in their eyes when they glanced at each other.

He wanted that with a ferocity that was hard to manage, even if he knew he wasn’t in the right place for it. And the fear he might never be was even worse than the envy.

Kicking his feet up, he attempted to look casual, but he could tell from the expression on Adele’s face he was failing miserably.

“You wanna talk about it, or is this some silent existential crisis?” Adele asked after a long beat.

Ridge rolled his eyes, then grunted loudly when Frey walked over and dropped into his lap. “Come on, baby. Spill your guts. Life has gotten boring.”

Ridge glanced across the yard, where Briar, Rex, and Ina were crouched over something in the grass. All three of them were signing with their tiny little hands, and it made his chest feel warm. And then it made him feel cold when he remembered Oz had been denied that for too long.

“There it is again,” Adele said.

Ridge rubbed a hand down his face and glanced over at Lane, who put his hands up in surrender. “Don’t look at me. They spent all evening grilling me for work drama. They’re desperate.”

Ridge took a breath, then said, “This stays between us. And I mean that. Trusted dad circle and no one else.”

“Should I call Dallas and Bronx?” Frey asked, shifting off Ridge’s lap and moving to the free chair beside him.

“It’s nothing to do with us. I just want to make sure this doesn’t get out.”

“Scout’s honor,” Adele said.

Ridge rolled his eyes because if anyone had been an actual scout, it would have been Adele. “So, you know how I went to that party at Oz’s parents’ house?”

Frey’s face fell. “Oh, shit. I almost forgot about that. How bad was it?”

“Bad. Really, really bad,” Ridge breathed out.

“Grady’s been way off his game,” Adele said. “I could tell something was up.”

Ridge bit his lip, and he felt bad about betraying his friend like that, but he couldn’t keep this to himself. Besides, he trusted his guys. “It went to hell in a handbasket about an hour after I got there.” He took his time relaying the story—not just how Oz’s mom still wanted him to be with his ex, who refused to use his language, but of the way that she and sister treated him. “I don’t understand how anyone can be so fucking cruel to their own child.”

All of the guys looked horrified and disgusted. Frey, of course, had the same look Ridge did. The look of a man who was helpless because he’d known about it for a while, but he was powerless to do anything about it.

“I would rather die than ever hurt Gage like that,” Kash said very softly.

“Yeah, pretty sure you tried to do exactly that, and it sucked,” Adele replied, holding Kash a little tighter. Ridge would never forget the anguish on Adele’s face when he realized his son and the love of his life were in a fire. “But also, exactly what he said. I don’t care how old my kid is or how much he’s pissed me off over the years. I would never make him feel like who he was is wrong.”

Ridge closed his eyes and took a breath. “So anyway, right as we were about to leave, his mom trots out the ex.”

“Wait, what?” Frey demanded, sitting forward in his chair. “Darcy?”

Ridge nodded. “His mom holds out this ring box and starts to tell the entire party that Oz is going to propose.”

“What the fuck? What did he do?” Frey asked.

Ridge swallowed heavily. “Well, uh…he kissed me.”

The entire room went dead silent, and then Frey slapped his hand over his mouth. “He kissed you?” he asked through his fingers. “You were okay with it?”

Ridge’s cheeks burned, and he felt Adele’s eyes on him. Shit. He knew. Ridge refused to make eye contact. “Well, he asked me first. He was panicking. What was I supposed to do? Embarrass him worse than he already was?”

“No, no. No,” Frey said, waving him off, still trying to control a laugh. “I get it. I would have done the same thing if I was there. I don’t even think Renato would be pissed at me about it.”

“Not if he saw what Oz’s mom did to him,” Ridge said. He didn’t know the doctor well, but he did know that Renato had almost gotten arrested trying to defend Oz at the hospital a few years back. “Anyway, we kissed. Now I’m kind of playing along as his boyfriend.”

“Holy fucking fuck ,” Frey said, laughing louder now. “Dallas and Bronx should be here for this. They’d be so proud of their protégé. Y’all are such a fucking trope.”

Lane gave Frey a flat look. “Like hate sex isn’t the theme of all your favorite books and movies.”

“Don’t forget manga, babe,” Frey said with an unapologetic grin. The expression didn’t last long. No one was really in the mood for laughter once they remembered why Ridge had to pretend in the first place. Frey turned back to him. “Is Oz okay?”

“He says he is. He seemed better when I saw him a couple days ago.” Ridge wasn’t about to tell them that a few days ago, he’d been in Oz’s house making plans to fool around. That was something that the guys didn’t need to know. “Also, promise me this stays between us. We didn’t really discuss who needed to know the truth, so if you see us holding hands around town, pretend like you don’t know anything.”

Frey gave a mock salute, and the other guys nodded. “I should text him,” Frey said after a beat. “Invite him to lunch or something. Or drinkies with us? I mean, he’s not a dad, but he spends enough time with our kids he might as well be, right?”

Ridge had no idea how that would go. “Couldn’t hurt.”

“How about Sunday?”

Ridge almost choked on his own tongue. “Can we pick a different day?” His ears were burning, and he had a feeling everyone was able to read him like an open book. But maybe he was being paranoid. “I’ve got stuff going on.”

“What stuff? I have your kid literally all day,” Frey told him.

“Exactly. We can’t do drinkies on Sunday if you’re not there,” Ridge said.

“Right. Okay. Uh…whatever, I’ll look at my calendar.” Frey settled back and grabbed his phone, so Ridge turned away from him and looked over at his boss.

Adele was still staring, and Ridge knew immediately he wasn’t going to get away with this. Shit . “Anyway, I should probably take off.”

“I’ll walk you to your car,” Adele said. “Frey, bring Ina out in like five?”

Frey gave another mock salute without looking up from his phone screen.

Ridge fought back a groan. He wished he didn’t know Adele as well as he did. “Fine. Thanks for listening,” he said to everyone as he reached over to hug Lane.

Lane squeezed hard. “I hope it all works out.”

“Mm,” Ridge said. He wasn’t going to say a word. All he wanted was to spill his guts and relieve himself of this burden, but he couldn’t. Oz deserved someone in his corner. Like all the way in his corner.

As he headed for the stairs, Adele caught up with him and threw an arm around his waist, keeping him close. Ridge had been around the guys for a while now, but he was still adjusting to how free they were with touch. It wasn’t something he’d grown up with, and it certainly wasn’t something he’d experienced with his last team.

But it was nice. It was just hard to remember the guys did this because they liked him and not because they wanted something from him.

“So. Oz,” Adele said when they passed the gate.

Ridge sighed. “It’s nothing.”

“It ain’t. I see the way your face gets when you talk about him. I’ve also seen your face when you’re looking at him and you don’t think anyone’s paying attention.”

Ridge swallowed heavily as they came to a stop by his car. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“You know I won’t say a word. I sat in my own pining silence for half my life. I have no room to judge.”

Ridge stared down at his feet. “Worked out for you, in the end.”

“Yeah, but Kash and I didn’t have to jump the being straight hurdle, did we?”

Ridge was glad the yellow streetlamps hid the color of his blush. “I guess. Anyway, I’m not delusional. I don’t think there’s a future with Oz. I mean, I’m not really great boyfriend material.”

“Who the fuck told you that shit?” Adele demanded, crossing his arms. “I want a name.”

“Ridge Hayley.”

Adele pulled back and rolled his eyes. “Don’t be a dipshit.”

“I’m not.” Ridge threw his hands up in the air. “I’ve got a crappy schedule, absolutely no dating history longer than a few weeks, I’m a single dad, and my kid always comes first?—”

“Anyone who doesn’t want to work with those reasonable conditions is not worth your time,” Adele said firmly.

“Well, it still narrows the pool, and it doesn’t change the fact that for most people, those things are deal breakers. I’ve already come to terms with it. Maybe I’ll find someone when Ina’s older and is living on her own. Or maybe I’ll open up a cat café and spend my empty-nester years taking care of strays.”

Adele groaned and took Ridge by the shoulders, giving him a gentle shake. “Look, if I thought you wanted that life, I’d invest now and get you started, but I know you. I know you want something more.”

Ridge glanced away, then let out a sigh of relief when Lane’s front door open and Frey appeared, carrying a tired Ina in his arms. “Talk later?”

Adele gave him a steady look that told him he wasn’t letting it go. “You drive safe, and I’ll see you on Monday.”

Ridge managed a smile as he took his daughter, who nestled into his arms. He held her tight, then leaned in and gave Frey a no-armed hug. “Thanks for taking care of her.”

“Mhm. You know I love my little princess. And I hope you know that I want all the deets for whatever bullshit you claim to have going on Sunday.”

Ridge choked on his own tongue. “I…it’s…”

“See you then, babe. Love you.” Frey turned, taking Adele with him, leaving Ridge to his sleeping daughter and the silence that spoke a novel about how absolutely and completely screwed he was.