19. Ridge
CHAPTER NINETEEN
RIDGE
He was still shaking pissed—and frankly, shaking scared—by the time they got back to his place. Halfway down the hospital driveway, Oz had grabbed his arm and said he didn’t want to go home.
“My place is too accessible to them.”
He didn’t need to ask who they were. He was still reeling a little from when he’d walked into Oz’s house to find his mom and sister there. And with Darcy running off, presumably to tell them what happened, he had a feeling Oz was going to be bombarded. Even if he chained his door shut, they’d find a way in.
So it was no hardship to U-turn and head toward his place. He had plenty of food, blankets, blackout curtains, and space for Oz to recover. He also had CI batteries, clothes, and a fresh pack of spare toothbrushes in his guest bathroom.
He would want for nothing, and that made Ridge feel at least useful.
Seeing Oz lying on the pavement, unmoving, covered in black scrapes and not making much sense had been enough to take Ridge to his knees. He’d seen the worst of the worst in his job. He’d seen gunshot wounds to the face and rollover accidents that left people unrecognizable. He’d seen violence in almost every form.
He thought he was desensitized—and maybe he was. But not when it came to the people he loved. He understood a little too much now how Adele felt the day the station had gotten the call that his house was on fire.
Pulling into his driveway, Ridge hopped out and ran around the side of the car before Oz could get the door all the way open. He quickly slung an arm around him, and Oz rolled his eyes, laughing.
“The drugs are pretty worn off. I can walk, you know.”
“This is mostly for me,” Ridge admitted. His voice was trembling, and he hated showing weakness like this.
Oz blinked at him. “Oh, I… oh .”
“What?”
“I didn’t realize that, uh…that this would bother you.”
Ridge felt those words almost like a punch to the gut. “Baby…”
“No, I get it. I would have lost my mind if it was you. I literally try not to think about you going to work because what if you get hurt? Like, if you got trapped in a fire…” Oz trailed off, shaking his head. “I forget I’m important too.”
Ridge leaned in and gently kissed the edge of his jaw. “You are so important.”
“I know. And I’m going to make sure I remember that. But, uh…can we go lie down?”
Ridge pulled away and guided his boyfriend to the front door, getting the code in and bustling him inside. Oz shook his head when Ridge offered the couch and the same when Ridge offered the guest room. He felt warm all over when Oz settled in his large bed, curling up against his too-many pillows.
He looked like he was still in pain, but his face was more content than it had been at the hospital.
Ridge sat on the edge of the bed and brushed a few locks of hair away from his forehead. “Can I get you anything?”
Oz hummed. “I want to take my processors off, but I want to know about Darcy first.”
Ridge stiffened, but he wasn’t going to lie. He’d marched her out of the hospital after she had the nerve to yell at Oz, and he was pretty sure she was crying by the time he was done with her.
“You know that I didn’t have her on my emergency contacts on purpose, right?” Oz said after a long beat. “I haven’t been to that hospital for treatment in years.”
Ridge chuckled softly. “I figured as much. I wasn’t bothered by that.”
Oz relaxed a bit more. “What did she say to you?”
“Oh, she yelled. Got a little homophobic—said that I was preying on you when you were in a vulnerable state. She was trying to get under my skin.”
It was true. Her voice had gone all high and tight, and she’d screamed at him. “You think you’re so cute with your sign language. He’s going to figure out you learned it to get into his fucking pants. That you want to send him on the path to hell all because you’re giving him what he thinks he needs.”
Ridge hadn’t been bothered. “He knows what he wants. He knows who he wants. And honey, even if it wasn’t me, it would never be you. All you’ve done is show him you’re a selfish monster who will only love him if he lives life your way. I feel sorry for whoever you con into marrying you if you don’t fix yourself.”
“He loves me.”
Ridge laughed. “If that’s what you need to tell yourself so you can sleep at night, by all means. But I hope when you think that, you take the time to remember that all you ever did was make him feel like being himself wasn’t enough.”
“Did…he say that?” she’d asked, her voice going quiet.
“He didn’t have to. The way y’all have got him hating himself is proof enough because I can tell you right now, none of his friends ever, ever make him feel that way. Now, if you have a single shred of decency, you’ll leave. And if the hospital ever calls again, don’t show up.”
“But—”
“Have the life you deserve.”
She’d started crying, and he turned, walking away to the sound of her sobs.
He told all that to Oz now, who listened with no expression at all.
Eventually, he took a breath, then reached up with his free arm and pulled his processors off. Ridge hadn’t expected him to want to talk about it, so he bent down and pressed a long, slow kiss to his forehead before leaning back.
‘I’ll be right here if you need me.’
‘You’ll stay?’ Oz asked with a tired hand.
Ridge stood up, shimmying out of his jeans and pulling his work shirt over his head. When he was sufficiently comfortable, he climbed up and slid behind Oz, wrapping an arm around him. He adjusted his body so he could sign in front of Oz where he could see. ‘If I have to get up, I won’t go far. Promise.’
And it was with those words that Oz let himself breathe deep, ease back into Ridge’s arms, and slow his breathing until he was asleep.
Ridge waited until he was certain Oz was completely asleep before he snuck out of the bed and headed for the kitchen. He started the coffee maker, then leaned on the counter as it began to percolate, and he pulled his phone out of his pocket.
He had more than a dozen messages on his phone from the guys, but he ignored them all and hit Adele’s name in his contacts. It only rang a couple of times before a voice picked up that was not Adele.
“He’s in the bathroom.” It was Kash. “Want to wait or call back?”
“I’ll wait. Unless he’s taking a monster shit,” Ridge said.
Kash burst into laughter. “God only knows. He did bring matches with him, so there’s not a lot of hope.” He went quiet for a beat. “How are you?”
“I’m assuming you got all the hot gossip?”
Kash sighed into the receiver. “You know how everyone is. Dallas and Bowen were already over here giving us all the details after they saw Frey.”
Ridge winced. “How is he? And Rex?”
“A mess, from what I can tell. Frey’s having a panic attack that Oz is going to quit and never speak to him again since this was the second time Oz has been fucked-up because of his kid.”
Ridge didn’t know any details the first time, but he knew Oz was too busy blaming himself to ever be mad at Frey. “I think those two need a long night of drinks together to work it out.”
Kash snorted. “Yeah. But that’s assuming the people we love will ever be rational. I—oh. Adele’s here. Let me put him on.”
“Thanks,” Ridge said. “But hey, I hope you’re doing okay.”
“Oh. Yeah, not too bad. Thanks.” Kash always sounded surprised when everyone around him gave a shit. Ridge knew the feeling a little too well. It was a nice comfort but hard to get used to.
“Hey, babe.” Adele’s voice came on a second later, a low, soothing rumble. “How is he?”
“Sleeping in my bed. He said the drugs wore off, but they gave him enough to knock out a horse. I think he hit his adrenaline crash.”
“And you?”
Ridge closed his eyes for a second, then stood up straight, grabbed a glass from the cabinet, and walked over to the fridge to fill it with ice and milk. “I don’t know yet. I don’t think the shock’s worn off. I feel like once the nightmares start, I’ll be ready to process everything.” He grabbed the coffeepot and slowly added the hot coffee over the ice. It crackled in a pleasing way, and he grabbed a spoon to stir it all up. “How did you get through it?”
“By being a clingy pain in the ass. Gage eventually threatened my life if I kept mothering him, so I took a step back and realized the sky wasn’t going to fall if I let go for a bit. Luckily, Kash likes it when I’m up his ass.”
“ Babe !” Ridge heard Kash groan in the background.
He smiled as he took a long sip of his iced coffee. He knew what Adele had been through was very different. By the time Ridge got onto the scene, he already knew that Oz was okay. They were looking for a possible spine injury and a concussion, but his life wasn’t in danger. And he’d known Rex was fine the whole time.
Adele had been forced to face a burning house with no idea if his fiancé and kid had gotten out. He hadn’t known anything until he ran up and found them on the neighbor’s lawn.
“So…shit got weird at the hospital,” Ridge eventually said. He told Adele about Darcy and then took a breath and told him what he’d been dying to tell everyone. “Oz and I are official now.”
Adele chuckled quietly under his breath. “Would it annoy you if I told you that I knew it?”
“Nah. I’m not a subtle man,” Ridge admitted. “Never have been, never will be. Part of my charm and all that.”
He could picture Adele grinning. “Neither is Oz. Besides all this, he’s…happy?”
“I want to think so. He’s struggling. He has a mountain of shit to unlearn from his family, and all of it revolves around hating himself because they taught him that was normal.”
“I get it. Kash and I had similar parents. Maybe not as bad, but they sure as shit didn’t show us examples of healthy relationships. Kash still struggles more than I do. If Oz needs someone to talk to?—”
“Yeah, no. I’ll let him know that,” Ridge said. He set his glass down, then shuffled down the hall to peek into the bedroom. Oz hadn’t moved except to roll over, arm out like he was searching for Ridge. His chest ached. “How’s my baby?”
“She’s gaming with Gage,” Adele said.
“Nothing bloody, right?”
“Lucas is here, and they’re trying out his new DnD map and figurines. She’s having the time of her life.”
Ridge had never been more grateful for this little village. He’d always hated that saying—especially when he first adopted Ina. He didn’t want to feel like he needed that help. He wanted to be able to do it on his own.
But she was so much happier this way. She was thriving. And no one was taking his place as her dad. Instead, they were giving her all the love she deserved to have in her life.
“You good?”
Ridge realized he’d been quiet for too long. He felt wiped suddenly, his limbs heavy, his throat a little tight. Shit. Everything was about to come crashing down. “I think today has been a lot.”
“Yeah. It has. Go get some rest, okay? FaceTime me later so I can put Ina on.”
“Sounds good.” Ridge hung up shortly after that and headed back to the bedroom. He slipped back between the covers, and as he curled into Oz, he felt the other man stir.
“Coffee,” Oz muttered aloud.
His eyes were still closed, so Ridge slipped his hand under Oz’s and spelled, ‘YES.’
Oz hummed and breathed in deep. After a short while, he pulled back, eyes heavy-lidded but focused. ‘Hi.’
Ridge smiled and lifted one hand. ‘Hi. Pain?’
Oz shook his head. ‘Surprised, but no.’ He stopped and grimaced. ‘Yes.’ Curling his last two fingers toward his palm, he hooked his first and middle fingers into a claw and tapped the side of his head. ‘CIs?’
‘You want them on?’
Oz nodded. ‘Hurts too much to sign.’
Ridge reached over and fetched them from the nightstand. When Oz tilted his head, Ridge realized he was asking for him to do it. He carefully attached the magnet, then nestled the receiver behind his ear until it felt secure. He did the same when Oz rolled over to his other side, and then he settled on his back, eyes closed.
“Remind me that it’s okay to use these when I need them.”
Ridge leaned in and smudged a kiss over his jaw. “You can use them whenever you want. They’re yours. That’s kind of the point, sweetheart.”
Oz shivered and looked over at him. “It’s nice when you call me that.”
He said it again in ASL, which made Oz’s smile widen.
“Have you talked to anyone?”
“Adele,” Ridge told him. He was fighting to keep his eyes open. He sank against the pillows and took a deep breath, which only made his fatigue worse. “Checked on Ina. And…everyone.”
“Frey and Rex?”
“All fine. He said they’re scared still, but recovering.”
“Scared of me?” Oz asked.
The vulnerability in his tone made Ridge open his eyes again. “No. No, sweetheart. Terrified that you’re never going to speak to them again. Frey told Adele something about the first time Rex hurt you?—”
“Oh God,” Oz said, slapping his hand over his face before wincing and dropping it back down. “That was so not his fault. That was the time Rex had vertigo and cracked his head open. Some asshole nurses thought I hurt him and called the cops on me. And the cops tried to arrest me because I wasn’t answering their questions. I wasn’t wearing my processors then, and there was no interpreter around.”
Ridge knew that story. At least, he knew parts of that story. He could only imagine what Oz had felt during all of that. “When Renato almost got arrested?”
Oz laughed. “Yeah. I guess that was before your time.” He stopped and sighed. “I think I should talk to Frey soon if he’s blaming himself for all this.”
Ridge yawned, unable to stop himself, and he rolled toward Oz. “You should. And I’m there for you. But I’m also kind of falling asleep.”
Oz leaned his head down and nosed along Ridge’s crown. “I might get up to piss, but I’m not ready to do any more emotional labor today. It can wait. And you can rest.”
Ridge took those words to heart, and in two blinks, he succumbed to the darkness that had been tugging at his edges.