Chapter 23
CHAPTER 23
CLARA
I am a broken woman. As I walk away, I’m amazed I can remain standing. If Atom pulled me back to face him, he would see the pain I can no longer contain. Tears stream down my face that I let fall. I don’t attempt to brush them away because he can’t see how affected I am by my speech.
I had to do it that way. He has to hate me because if he suspected a thing, he would go after Michael. It would start a war and he would be a casualty of that. I know that as a fact because Michael and his family don’t play by the rules.
I had to break Atom to save him and now I must live with my decision.
Somehow, I stumble back to the house and as I enter through the side door, mom is waiting for me.
I hold up my hand. “Don’t say a fucking word.”
Her horrified expression is inconsequential. I have no respect for my parents anymore and they may as well be dead to me. To sacrifice my happiness for theirs is a huge price to demand for giving a person life and right in this moment, if I never saw them again, I would consider it a win.
I move past her stricken face and head to my room, where I lock the door behind me and slide down to the floor. I am empty, hollow inside, and it hurts so much. It’s a physical pain inside my entire soul and I sob angry, desperate tears, for the happiness I once had. It was brief but must last me a lifetime because I’ve made an enemy of the only man I have ever—or will ever—love.
I clutch my knees to my chest and sob my heart out, my tears a waterfall of grief that has no ending. In saving Atom, I have sacrificed my soul to the devil and I must learn to navigate a path through hell just to survive.
I’m not sure how long I sit in a heap on the floor, but a gentle knock at the door is followed by a soft, “Clara. I’m so sorry. Please open the door.”
“GO AWAY!” I yell, fury replacing grief and mom says quickly, “We must leave in an hour. The party - Michael, they are waiting.”
“Let them fucking wait.”
I thump the door in frustration and kick it several times, all the time wishing it was her betraying face.
“Clara, please. You’ve come so far. We can make this work. It doesn’t have to be this way.”
Her pleading falls on deaf ears and as the flame grows inside me, I feel the hatred burning me from within.
I hate them all and if they want the perfect fiancé, wife and daughter, they will have to live with they created. Be careful what you wish for because sometimes reality is an entirely different nightmare from the dream you thought you were getting.
With venom in my heart, I shut down. Emotion is fast giving way to anger and as I crawl to my feet, I take in a deep ragged breath. I will make them all pay, but will bide my time. One day I will be free and it will be on my terms. It’s too late for Atom and me, but I will not be my mother and I will not live the rest of my life chained to a man like Michael Santobello.
Somehow, I dress for a party. My chosen color is black and my mood is dark. Be careful what you wish for because Michael is about to discover some wishes taint your soul and destroy your life and if he wants a wife, he will get the one he deserves.
My parents escort me into the room like a sacrifice. One on either side of me, silent, guilty and unapologetic now their plan has worked. They believe I’ll come around to the situation. Make the best of a bad situation and make it work. I will never give any of them that satisfaction. I am dead inside.
Two men step forward to greet us and I maintain my indifference.
“Clara.” Charles Santobello regards me with a cruel smile, but Michael’s is warm and welcoming and slightly apologetic.
“Clara, you are beautiful.” He whispers as he kisses me on both cheeks, a flicker of despair on his face as I visibly recoil.
His father says abruptly, “Michael, take Clara and find her a drink. We have a toast to make.”
It’s as if I’m an automaton as I allow him to guide me to the set of French doors at the end of the room and I follow him through them, wondering how long I’m expected to remain here.
“Clara.”
He sounds hesitant, ashamed even.
“This wasn’t my idea, I swear.”
I shrug. “But you’re going along with it. Why?”
“You’ve met my father.” Bitterness laces his words.
“He isn’t a man you say no to.”
“But you can’t want this, Michael.” My voice raises an octave. “Surely who you marry is up to you.”
“It is.” He smiles softly. “I chose you, Clara. From every woman I’ve met so far in my life, you intrigue me the most. You are beautiful, poised, and you have an edge of steel my future wife will need as standard.”
“But I don’t want you, Michael. I am in love with Atom.” I face him with a cold expression and he nods.
“I know.”
“Then I’ll ask you again. Why?”
“Because you will come to realize that I’m the best man for you, Clara. I am willing to wait. To prove you made the right decision and to accept it won’t happen overnight.”
He leans against the balustrade that offers views of the floodlit garden, stretching endlessly into the darkness.
“We will be engaged to be married after tonight, after which you’ll head to college to study for your degree. I have agreed to your education because it’s important.”
“You’ve agreed!” I scoff, rolling my eyes. “How generous of you.”
He ignores my anger. “At weekends, a car will collect you and bring you home where we will attend social gatherings as an engaged couple. I’ll treat you well and you’ll play your part and then the same car will return you to college.”
His eyes flash as he says roughly, “At college, you will study. There will be no parties, no friendship groups, and no clubs.”
“Fuck you, Michael.”
He shrugs. “That will happen on our wedding night. Your duty will be to provide me with an heir.”
“I will not.” I hiss and he shrugs.
“Listen, Clara. We must make the best of a bad situation. I will be a generous husband and a good one all the time you carry out your part of the deal. I can be attentive, loving even and make this work. If you resist, well, things won’t be so easy for you, or the people you love. It’s your choice.”
“You speak of choices, Michael.” I glance at the dark landscape and shiver inside. “What if I choose no? What if I turn away and never look back? Move away to another state perhaps, or take a bus to the edge of the world and start again. What happens then, Michael?”
He says nothing and turns to face the garden, his knuckles clenched on the stone balustrade, his breathing heavy.
It feels like an eternity before he turns and the dark gleam in his eye strikes fear in my soul.
“You will never escape me, Clara. You may think you have, celebrate it even, but one day when you least expect it, I will find you and then all bets are off. Don’t make an enemy of me. Make it work and your life will be a meaningful one. I am a good friend but a dangerous enemy and when I find you, I will make you watch every second while I systematically destroy everything you value and hold dear. Your family, your friends and your associates. Most of all, your boyfriend. You will watch me ruin him before I cut him apart inch by inch and hand you his eyes in a glass jar so he can stare at you for the rest of your life, knowing that you killed him.”
“You’re a monster.” I gasp, sickened by the entire conversation. Sickened by him and he laughs, a cruel eerie sound that carries on the night air.
“Perhaps I am, but you don’t ever need to see that side of me, my darling, all the time you do as I ask.”
He pushes off from the railing and heads my way, gripping my wrist and pulling me close to his despicable body.
I make to break away but his fist is an iron one, and he grips my face hard and hisses, “Now be a good girl, we have guests waiting. Welcome to my world, my little spitfire. I will enjoy showing you exactly what it involves.”
His mouth lands on mine in a brutal onslaught, his teeth biting my lip and his fingers pulling my hair in a painful grip. The pain is intense as he applies pressure on my scalp and blood trickles into my mouth as he bites the soft flesh inside. However, that pain is nothing to the one in my heart. I have lost everything, and this is the moment I accept my situation, knowing that I will bide my time and one day, no matter how many others pass by in front of it, I will kill Michael Santobello or die trying.