Chapter 36
CHAPTER 36
ATOM
S o many emotions hit me at once. Ten years have passed since I last stared into those eyes, and yet it’s as if it happened yesterday.
Time melts away and we are those kids again. Hopeful, foolish and so deeply in love, we believed we had an eternity.
My anger consumes me because of what that bastard did to her. What he molded her into. A killer.
The bruising on her gorgeous face can’t disguise her beauty. Her eyes sparkle with unshed tears and a thousand apologies mixed with regrets.
Somewhere deep inside me, my heart stirs slightly, reminding me it’s been sleeping and is waking from a deep dream.
I shut it down through self-preservation because there is only one reason I’m here now.
Because she needs me.
I won’t allow anything to wound me again. Not this woman. Once was enough and I’m still not over that and as she stands before me, her lip trembles as she whispers, “I don’t blame you for hating me.”
I say nothing because what is the answer to that, anyway? Do I hate her? Hate is too weak a word for how I feel about her. I experience every emotion when I gaze into those betraying eyes, and bitterness replaces any other emotion that is jostling for position inside my damaged heart.
I point to the couch.
“What happened?”
“I–” Her voice breaks. “Killed him.”
“I heard, but that wasn’t the question. What was your reason?”
She tugs her bottom lip through her teeth.
“He was angry. He was always angry.”
Her eyes burn with pain. “I overheard him arguing with Emilio. He ordered him to fetch Dominic Riley and then he saw me.”
Her knuckles are white as she clenches the fabric of her dress.
“He was so angry, Atom. I was used to the beatings, but this was something else entirely.”
I hold up my hand. “Stop right there.”
I draw in a ragged breath, fast losing my shit. “Beatings?” I fix her with a hard glare and she nods miserably.
“It began shortly after our wedding.”
Fuck! I can’t believe what I’m hearing. He has been abusing her for all this time. Ten fucking years!
“Despite what you think, it wasn’t a love match.” She shakes her head sadly. “It was an arrangement that I wanted no part of.”
“But you agreed, darlin’ and nothing changes that. You had a choice, and you chose that life, so you have nobody to blame but yourself.”
I dismiss her words with the facts and she nods miserably.
“You’re right. I chose that life, but I had my reasons.”
“In the past, darlin’. Whatever they were, you had a choice. Nothing changes that and you chose him.”
I almost can’t speak. I’m so angry. If I thought time would cure me of my bitterness, I was wrong. It’s as if no time has passed at all as I’m brought back to the past, as if those years never happened.
Clara nods and sighs heavily. “You’re right to be angry. I chose him over you and, well, I can’t change that.”
“What happened today?”
I can’t dwell on the past, or her reasons. I already know I’m not strong enough, and the only way I can deal with this is to focus on the present.
“As I said, he was angry and blamed me for whatever problem he was dealing with. He told me everything was my fault. That I had a loose mouth and gave his enemies ammunition to bring him down.”
“Did you?” I say cruelly, and she shakes her head.
“If I had the chance, I would have given anything to bring him down. I hated him and I always have.”
“But you still married him.” I snap, hurt, pain and bitterness fully in charge of my tongue right now.
She glances down at her hands and tugs on the fabric as she whispers, “He was enraged. It was as if he had lost control of his mind as well as his body. He pushed me into his den and slapped me hard around the face, punching me and raining blows on me that came from nowhere, and I fell against the desk and onto the floor. I had no time to react before he was kicking me and all the time, he was shouting obscenities and threats. I truly believed he was going to kill me.”
She sobs into her hands and any normal man would be comforting her, but I watch with a steely determination to guard my heart because I will not allow her to destroy me for a second time.
“He beat me with the iron poker and told me he would use it to tear me up inside.”
My blood runs cold as I picture the scene, her injuries testament to her words.
“I saw the gun taped to the underside of his desk and I didn’t stop to think.”
Her voice holds a hint of pride as she whispers, “I shot him, Atom. Right between his manic eyes.His blood drenched me as he fell on top of me and it took all my strength to crawl out from under him. It hurt so much, I could hardly breathe and my legs weren’t doing a good job of supporting me. But I knew I had to get away. Call for help and I didn’t have long before his men returned. So, I came here. To Jet and Lucy, who were members of a select few who have shown me any kindness in the entire time I’ve been married to that monster.”
It hurts hearing her confession. Picturing the pain she endured and subsequently will live with for the rest of her life. If Michael was still alive, it would be my pleasure to inflict a slow and painful death on his wretched soul, but she had that right to be the one to slay the dragon.
For a while we allow silence to cleanse the air between us because despite my pity and the pain her words brought me, it doesn’t change a thing. I can’t allow it to and so my mind swings to the practicalities of her situation and I say with a deep sigh.
“Emilio.”
She physically trembles. “Will take over.”
We both know this will be fact, and I see her dilemma.
“He knows I am the beneficiary of Michael’s will. The businesses, the land on which the house once stood, and all of his money is mine.”
Clara leans back and visibly winces as the pain reminds her of what her body has been through.
“I don’t want to be a part of that world anymore, Atom. Emilio is worse than Michael. He will force me into something I want no part of and manipulate the situation to his advantage. He won’t be able to pick up where Michael left off if he doesn’t have me, and I can’t allow that to happen. I would rather die than be involved with him in any way, but all the time he knows where I am, where we are, we are no longer safe.”
It’s as if a lightbulb explodes in her head because she raises her stricken eyes to mine and gasps, “The girls. He will use them against me. What am I going to do, Atom? I can’t let that happen.”
At the mention of her daughters, fresh pain washes away any compassion I may have felt. His daughters. Michael’s blood. He took my life and made it his and the evidence lives and breathes in the innocent.
“Where are they?”
“Jared Washington’s house. They are having a sleepover tonight.”
“Call his wife and ask for an extension. Tell her about the fire. Tell her Michael is dead.”
“But.”
I say roughly, “You must play your part, Clara. You are homeless and just lost your husband. You can’t deal with two children at the same time. She will expect nothing else and be happy to help.”
“But Emilio. He will find them.”
“At Jared Washington’s house.” I laugh bitterly. “Even D’Angelo isn’t that much of a fool. That is the safest place for them until you have settled into The Darkside.”
I watch the blood drain from her face as she gasps, “We can stay here. Lucy offered me her apartment. I don’t want–”
“You don’t have a choice.”
My voice is hard and almost cracks as I say through gritted teeth. “This apartment is no match for D’Angelo. You will be easy pickings if you remain here. The Darkside is protected, and he knows that. You and your kids will have a home there until we sort this shit out. Just make certain you stay the fuck away from me.”
She visibly flinches as I say cruelly, “I don’t want to be in this position, but I am. I would do the same for any woman needing help in this situation. But that’s all it is. Compassion for a fellow human being. Don’t read anything else into it because where you are concerned, there is nothing but an empty space in my memory where you once stood.”
She says nothing, but the misery on her face speaks a thousand words and I jerk my head toward the bedroom.
“Do what you must. We need to leave as soon as possible. The sooner we are in the safety of my club, the sooner we can sort this shit out.”
To her credit, she doesn’t argue and merely stands and nods, accepting the offer of help for what it is. As she turns to leave, she whispers with a thousand apologies riding on her words. “I really appreciate this, Atom. It’s more than generous of you.”
As she moves past me, I pointedly look in the other direction because I will not allow this woman anywhere near my emotions again. I can’t. She would destroy me for a second time because one thing I already know about Clara Santobello is that she does things to suit her own agenda and nobody else’s.