Saving You Losing Me

Chapter 41

CHAPTER 41

CLARA

S ophia is the sweetest child and as she sits coloring at the table overlooking the yard, my heart swells with love for her. Maria is playing with her doll and stroller by the door, her soft voice chattering away in the land of make believe. I am preparing lunch for them as I do most days on the weekend. Our lives have changed immeasurably, and yet they have never questioned our circumstances.

The hardest thing in my life was telling them their daddy had passed. It was unbearable heartache as I whispered the words, knowing I was the one responsible for putting him there.

They cried for a short time and then accepted it with the pragmatism of youth. If anything, it hasn’t affected them at all and they appear to love it here.

Their smiles are wider, their laughter more often, and their excitement for our temporary new life contagious.

They adore Candy, who it appears feels the same and I am so grateful to her and Diesel for the happiness they give to the girls.

Most of the time, I remain in this apartment. I’m not a prisoner, but the place terrifies me if I’m honest. Atom lives here and I’m not strong enough to experience his indifference toward me and if I saw him with another woman, it would kill me inside.

A loud knock on the door has me wiping my hands on the towel and heading across, expecting to see Candy bearing even more gifts for the girls. Not a day goes by when she doesn’t bring them something, armed with goodies and a brilliant smile. Clothes, toys, candy and cookies. It could be anything. She has been so kind, and my stay here wouldn’t be as pleasurable without her.

As I swing the door open, my bright smile fades to astonishment as Atom fills the doorway, his dark presence inwardly bringing me to my knees.

Even now, I want him. He was always so devilishly attractive. His wicked smile and lustful eyes were always my undoing, and his battered leather jacket and tight t-shirt strained against a chest that brought me to my knees. He hasn’t changed a bit. Even his hair is still wild as it hangs longer than most, framing the most bewitching eyes.

“Atom.” I whisper, the word catching on my throat and he nods, no emotion on his expression at all as he glances past me at my girls who are staring at him in fascination.

I stutter, “Um, well, won’t you come in?”

I hold the door a little wider as he nods, inching past me into the room, filling the small space with his huge personality and lust-worthy body. My mouth dries as I lick my bottom lip, mildly aware I left the makeup off today. The bruises on my face are only slightly visible now and I explained them away to my girls as a fall when I ran to escape the fire.

It’s awkward as fuck as Atom nods to Sophia and smiles as Maria stands before him, her eyes wide and her mouth open.

“You’re big.” She gasps and before I can say anything, he drops to his knees, so he’s almost her height and says with a warm smile, “I’m Atom. What’s your name, angel?”

“No, I’m not angel, I’m Maria.” She lisps, and he chuckles softly.

“That’s a pretty name.”

“I like yours too.” She reaches out and touches his unshaven jaw and giggles. “You’re scratchy.”

Sophia joins in. “Are you a friend of Diesel?”

“Of course.”

“I like Diesel.” Maria adds, staring at Atom with curiosity.

Sophia grins. “And Candy. They are our friends.”

“Do you have room for more friends, or is membership closed?” Atom surprises me by saying and the girls share a look and then nod vigorously.

“You can be our friend.”

For some reason, their innocent faces smiling at Atom causes my heart to break. Tears fill my eyes as everything I love is in the same room, a sweet memory that I will cherish forever, whatever happens.

Atom remains kneeling and says softly, “Do you like it here?”

They nod their heads. “Yes!” Both answer at once and he laughs.

“Good answer.”

He stands and heads over to the window that overlooks the yard and points to the swing tire.

“You know, we could arrange for a slide if you like, possibly even a trampoline.”

“Yay!” Both girls jump on the spot and clap their hands and he catches my eye and the soft expression he directed toward the girls freezes on contact with mine.

He jerks his head toward the door and my heart sinks.

“Girls, your lunch is ready. Wash your hands and take your seats at the table. I won’t be long.”

I hastily place their sandwiches and chips on the wooden table and Sophia says loudly, “Can Atom stay and have lunch too, mommy?”

“Please mommy.” Maria’s sweet voice rings out and Atom replies gently.

“Another day, girls. I have equipment to buy, after all.”

Their hopeful smiles cause me happiness inside. It’s all I want. For them to be happy.

All of them.

As Atom makes toward the door, I follow, my heart banging as I wonder why he’s here.

The door closes softly behind me and my heart beats faster as he leans against the wall, his back hard against it and his boot pushing off against it. I swear every part of me is high on alert because I haven’t seen him since the ride over here. It’s as if he ghosted himself in his own home and as I stare with concern, I note the shadows under his eyes and the pain shrouding his gaze in misery.

“We have a problem.”

His voice is low and husky and it does something strange to me inside. It always did, and I swallow hard.

“I’m guessing I’m the problem.”

His face answers me more than his words as he nods, his expression set in stone.

“Emilio D’Angelo.”

I swear the blood freezes in my veins.

“I guessed as much.”

Since I killed Michael, I’ve remained inside these walls, dealing with the cops, the lawyers and the authorities who have been a steady stream of callers as we organize Michael’s funeral and my affairs.

The funeral is next week and I’m dreading every second of it and I’m in no doubt that Emilio and all of Michael’s men will be in attendance.

“He is tearing up the town and increasing intimidation. So far he has avoided us, but it’s only a matter of time.”

“You want me to leave?”

I disguise the hurt in my voice, fully understanding why he would.

“That’s not what I said, darlin’.”

His husky whisper stills my beating heart and I’m not sure if it’s because the corridor is narrow, but it’s as if the air between us boils.

“I’m preparing you for a fight. Because I’m guessing Emilio is after Michael’s businesses that you are the owner of now.”

“He can have them.” A sneer breaks my expression. “I want none of them.”

“It doesn’t work like that in this world, darlin’.”

Atom shakes his head, a deep sigh accompanying it.

“He won’t buy you out. He’ll insist on a similar arrangement you had with your late husband.”

His words hit me like machine gun fire, causing me to gasp. “NO!”

He shrugs. “You had a choice once, and now I’m giving you another one.”

“I won’t marry him.” My voice catches and as he turns, his piercing gaze spears me senseless as he says huskily, “You either marry him or me.”