22. Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Two
Juliana
“R est. Take the pain medication…” The doctor continues to give me instructions. I should be paying attention, instead, I’m watching Heath pace. Fuck, he looks good.
“List her injuries,” Heath demands, and I bite my lip.
“She has extensive…” Heath takes off his coat, and I try not to drool in front of the doctor. Yes, I have abrasions from the chains, a nasty bump on my head, a rapidly bruising eye, claw marks on my stomach, and a cut on my cheek. It hurts. The doctor gave me pills, but the only thing I need is Heath. I don’t want to think about what Stanly put me through. I’m grateful he is gone, and I just want to forget. Being with Heath makes me forget everything. “This is a salve to put on her wrists and ankles. She should…” Damn, he’s rolling up his sleeves. He stops beside the doctor, studying the bottle intently.
I witnessed a man turn into a snake, grow abnormally big, wrap around Stanly, and melt him. I shouldn’t be distracted by his corded forearms. The fact is, I am. Being in a near-death experience will make you reevaluate your life. Why am I wasting time? Heath is my mate, and he wants me.
He unbuttons two buttons on his shirt. Maybe I’m delirious.
“Jules.”
“Huh?” I focus on the nice doctor's face.
“Do you have any questions?” His lips twitch.
“No.” Heath tilts his head and takes a breath. Crap. He’s on to me.
“None of the medications will work if you are turned into a snake,” Estes says, standing. “At that time, you won’t need them.”
“Thanks, Doc.” I smile. He gave me some strong stuff, but I opted for something basic to take the edge off the headache.
“I’ll walk you out,” Heath says, and Estes nods. “Don’t move.” He points at me.
“Yes, Sir.” His eyes narrow before leaving the room. I bury my face in the pillow. The doctor could have given me a pill with some kind of aphrodisiac in it. That would explain my need to be with Heath in every way possible right now. I should be crying or huddled in a corner after being chained, hurt, and witnessing Stanly die. All I want to do is jump my mate.
Heath announced that Rylee was awake and healing. I’m thankful she can heal herself, but I’m worried about how this will affect her. I know she has been through something horrible, and this may bring all of it to the surface. I wished for a sister who I could share secrets with. Share clothes and talk about boys with. Levi was great when he was younger, but we grew so far apart, and he always wanted to be with Stanly.
Nope. Not thinking about him.
I think Rylee will be a great sister. She could teach me how to fight. Once I’m a snake, no one will be able to kidnap me.
Shit. Not thinking about it. I sink deeper into the bed, thinking about licking Heath’s skin. Yes. All of those yummy tattoos.
“Everyone is gone.” Heath enters the room, shuts the door, and locks it.
“Rylee?” I look at him.
“Sally came to get her. They are going to binge eat and watch some vampire movie.” He stops beside me.
“Which one?” He lifts his eyebrows. “Right, you probably aren't a movie kind of guy.” I squeal as he lifts me from the bed and into his arms. He walks to the bathroom and puts me on the counter before turning on the shower. I greedily watch his body as he adjusts the water. My heart starts to race when he turns to me and unbuttons the remaining buttons on his shirt.
“Arms up,” he commands, throwing his shirt beside me.
“I’ve never had shower sex,” I state, lifting my arms.
“Noted.” He gently pulls my shirt off, and my bra follows. “Hold on to me. I won’t ever let you fall.” I’m eager as he lifts me and sets me on my feet. I stare at his head while he takes off my pants and underwear. When he wraps his arm around my waist and guides me into the shower, the ache in my stomach intensifies.
“Your pants,” I gasp as he follows me in but leaves his pants on.
“They stay on,” he says, and I frown. “This isn’t about me.”
“What?” My heart beats hard.
“You’re deflecting.” I swallow roughly. “We are going to wash it away.”
“Heath.” He picks up the soap, rotating it in his hand.
“My touch will replace his,” he whispers, and a sob climbs up my throat. “Where did he touch you?” I shake my head; the memories are fresh. “Tell me.”
“I just want to forget,” I whisper.
“I know. Point to the spots.” I hold out a shaking finger toward my stomach. “He left claw marks,” he hisses, gently pressing his soapy hand to the marks. “He doesn’t get to ruin what we have.” A tear rolls down my cheek. “I’m touching you. Not him.” He rubs in circles, widening them with each pass. “Where else?”
“Between my breasts,” I whimper, and his jaw ticks.
“You have beautiful breasts, and they are mine.” He adds soap and glides between them. “He didn’t have the right to touch you. He can’t touch anything anymore.” I shiver, and Heath’s tattoos glow. “Next spot.” I point to my neck. “I am the only man who can touch your neck.” He rubs his finger on my pulse. “He isn’t allowed to come between us. He wanted to destroy our bond, and no one can do that.”
“No one,” I whisper and close my eyes.
“Open them,” he demands, and I do. Our gazes collide, and I cry more. “I want you to see who is washing you. My hands. My body is in front of you. You are mine. I am yours.”
“Yes, Heath.”
He’s washing it away.
“Talk about it,” he says softly. I want to deny him, but I need to.
“I was blindfolded when I woke up.” He moves down my body and circles my ankles. “I was scared, but when I realized I couldn’t move, I was terrified. He didn’t come in when I woke up. I was left wondering who had me and what they were going to do. The pain was extreme, but I felt helpless. When he removed my blindfold, I was shocked to see him. I didn’t think he would do something like that. He loved me.” Heath stands and holds my wrists gently. “I swear I didn’t know. My mother encouraged him.” His hand tightens briefly. “He slept with her, and she was telling him to be patient with me. Stanly’s parents died several years ago, and he’s supposed to get their estate and a ton of money in a couple years. He promised to give her some of the money once he married me. I knew she hated me, but I didn’t think she could get any worse.” I sniffle. “I knew you would come. I tried to let him talk and sympathize, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t,” I sob.
“You did well,” he rasps, cupping my face. “I will always come for you. Let everything out. You are allowed to be sad. It’s okay to be scared. He used his power to bind you, and he paid for it.” He pulls me to his chest, and the sobs continue. I grasp his back, burying my face against his skin. “I’m here. I won’t let you go.”
“Why couldn’t my mom give me the love and devotion he wanted to?” It doesn’t make sense, but I almost feel sorry for Stanly. “I hate that I feel pity for him. I loved my mom, but the emotion was never reciprocated. Why do I feel that way?”
“Because you are a good person,” he rumbles.
“Do you pity him?” I lean back to look at him.
“No.” He tucks my hair behind my ear. “I’m not as good as you.”
“Don’t say that,” I hiss.
“You’re biased.”
“Heath, you are the best man I know.” I can’t stop the tears.
“Hmm…” He kisses one cheek and then the other. “I’m proud of you.”
“What?”
“You remained calm and didn’t let him sway you.”
“I wasn’t calm on the inside.” I soak up his words. Praise was never given to me growing up.
“But you didn’t show him. Men like him get off on women who beg. He liked the control he had.”
I slide my hands to his chest and trace his tattoos.
“How could I not see his love?” Maybe if I did, this wouldn’t have happened.
“Why didn’t he confess?” he asks, and I frown. “He knew you didn’t feel the same. You would have turned him down. He didn’t want to face that fact, so he made up a world in his head. What he did wasn’t love. If he loved you, he would never hurt you.” He rubs his hands down my arm. “Turn.” I reluctantly remove my hands and face away. He grabs the bottle of shampoo and pours some into his hand. My eyes fill again when he gathers my hair and glides his hands over the strands, careful of the lump on my skull.
“No one has taken care of me like you do,” I confess through trembling lips.
“You were meant to be mine. The universe knew I would have to kill whoever had.” A watery laugh escapes. “I will always take care of you.” My heart falls even more. “Turn.” I keep my eyes lowered as I do, but peek up. His concentration is on my head as he rinses my hair.
He repeats the process with the conditioner, and in the silence, I accept what happened.
Stanly used his strength and my heart against me. He knew I would race to save Rylee. He knew I didn’t love him, but he snapped and tried to force his love. My mom will never change, and I have to accept that. Heath allowed me to grieve when all I wanted to do was hide. So many women have to hide their emotions, their abuse, and their fears. I found a man who encourages me to feel all the emotions without ridicule or disgust.
“Don’t move,” he says and turns off the water. I blink and watch him step out. He gets the towel off of the sink and shakes it out. “Don’t slip.” He holds out his hand, and I step out. My love for him grows as I stand on the soft mat and let him dry my body and hair. “Again,” he says, pointing to the ground, and I nod. I don’t move an inch while he walks out of the room. He’s only gone a moment before coming back, holding his shirt and wearing dry pants. I smile slightly.
“It’s flannel,” I state. He removes the towel and holds it out.
“This will be more comfortable than my others.”
I slip my arms in, and he starts to button it. It’s black with blue squares and is soft against my skin. He drops to his heels, holding my underwear. I grab his shoulder and lift one leg and then the other.
“Thank you.” I haven’t cried this much for longer than I can remember.
“No need. It’s my pleasure.” I shake my head, and he stands. He pulls me to the sink and turns me to face the mirror. I lower my eyes but startle when the brush glides through my hair. “Eyes up. Your wounds are not your fault. They will heal, and he will still be dead. They are battle wounds. You survived, and I will never allow another bruise on your body.” He opens a drawer, pulls out a hair dryer, and continues guiding the brush through my strands as he uses it. When he’s satisfied that it’s dry, he unplugs it and puts it away.
“I must be dreaming,” I mumble, staring at my face. Is he real? Did I make him up? His touch feels real.
“No dream. Believe me, I asked myself the same question.” I look at him and realize he doesn’t understand how much his words mean.
He finishes with my hair and picks me up. I stare at him while he sets me gently on the bed and gets the salve. I watch him in wonder as he rubs it on my ankles and wrists. He encourages me to stand, and he eases down the blankets. He presses his hand to my back, and I get in. I start to pull my feet up, and he guides them on the mattress.
“Lay with me,” I say when he steps back.
“I’m just going to the kitchen. You need some water for the pills.”
I nod, and he runs his knuckles down my cheek before leaving the room.
Is this how a man treats you when it’s true love?
I must be dreaming.
I slowly open my eyes and cringe when I roll to my side. Heath isn’t in bed and I don’t have to look far to see him in the dark. He’s wearing black sleep pants, his feet bare, propped up on the bed as he lounges in a chair. His gaze is locked on me.
“How long have you been watching me sleep?” I fold my hands under my cheek.
“Hours, I think,” he whispers.
“You must be tired.”
“I don’t want to sleep,” he says.
“Why?”
“I’m afraid to close my eyes.” He grips the arms of the chair. “You might disappear.”
“Heath,” I rasp.
“I should have protected you. I was too wrapped up in revenge and should have stopped to think. Leaving you was the wrong decision. This could have been prevented, but I believed I was right. I’ve been alone for so many years, I forgot what it felt like to love,” he says. I swallow thickly. “I love Rylee as a sister and haven’t told her enough. With you, it’s different. I felt it for my family, but too many years have passed since, and I know it still doesn’t compare. When I found out you were gone, my life meant nothing. I would follow you in death because I wouldn’t go on without you. I cursed the universe for dangling love and happiness in front of me and then taking it away.” He crosses his arms. “I was arrogant. I thought I could handle anything. I’m powerful. How could I be wrong? I’ve seen many of my friends find their mate and know shit goes wrong. We aren’t immortal. We can be killed, even though it is much harder. I thought I could handle anything. Without you, nothing would matter. It’s uncomfortable, the fact that I love you. It means that you could bring me to my knees. If you were hurt, I would beg the universe. I don’t beg. I have avoided relationships and feared the bond because I knew I would do anything to keep her when I found the one meant for me.” He pulls his feet from the bed, leaning forward. “I will do anything to keep you. Even though I am at fault, and I’m an anti-social, private, dominant man, I won’t let you go. I will love you until death and beyond. I will mark you, turn you, and keep you at my side. I will endure the parties, family gatherings, BBQs, and invitations to the clubs, even though they always end in disaster. I will sit through family dinners with the wolf eating most of the food, and I will gladly let him. He helped find you and protected the family. Their loyalty is admirable, and I have resisted being among them. I didn’t want to depend on them, fearing they would disappoint me.
“You haven’t had anyone to depend on. Let me be the one you put your trust in. You can depend on me, on my love, and on my devotion. I will never look at or touch another woman. The thought of another’s touch repulses me. The universe gave me a gift I am not worthy of, but I will spend every day earning your love. You can be a nurse, go to college, or be anything. I’ll support whatever you decide. As much as I would love to keep you by my side at all times, I want you to have opportunities your family never allowed, and explore the things that make you happy.” My eyes fill once again. “I want to see you pregnant with my child. We can fill the house with kids if you want. I didn’t think I would ever have a family, but I want one with you. They will always feel loved, and I will protect them with my life. I will give you anything to make you happy. Can you accept me and my snake? Will you accept my love?”
“I already do,” I whisper and sit up. “I love you. More than I thought possible to love someone. I like your snake and want to build a family with you. Our children will be the luckiest in the world to have a father like you. Stanly wasn’t your fault. We both blame ourselves for his actions, but we have to let that go. He did this. My wish came true. I dreamed of a white knight coming to rescue me, and he did, although he’s a blue snake. From the beginning, you have made me feel loved. With every word and action, you have shown me what being the center of someone’s universe means. I will thank them every day for putting me on your path. You are worthy of love. Of friendship. You are loyal.” I take a deep breath. “I love the way you look at me as if your soul is connected to mine. You know everything I need without saying a word. My life has been filled with responsibility and little else, and the prospect of being able to find my purpose is exciting. I was alive but felt no joy or passion. Any relationship I’ve had was superficial. I couldn’t trust anyone, so I built a wall around my heart. All I knew was disappointment and lies. The second we met, I knew you wouldn’t lie. I felt the pull of the bond but didn’t know what it was or what it meant. You command attention. Of course, you are stunning, but it’s more than that; it’s your seriousness and the life you have lived. You, too, control every moment; for someone who has had to be in control, that’s alluring.
“You make me ache for you,” I whisper, and a low hiss emanates from him. “The things you do for me are natural, and you don’t expect some sort of emotional payment. It’s scary and exciting all at once. I’m used to repaying any word of praise or deed. I’m grateful to Stanly. He showed me his animal so many years ago; without knowing about your world, it might have taken me longer to get used to it. I don’t fear your snake or the world you live in. I’m anxious about the pain it will cause when you turn me, but you will be with me, and that’s all that matters. I love you.” I press my hand to my heart. “I feel like something is missing when we aren’t together. Being chained and listening to Stanly state his love was disturbing. The experience was scary, but thinking about losing you was terrifying.
“You were meant to be mine, too. I was waiting for you so I could start living. Your arrogance is attractive, and you have earned the right to be. I will protect you and your heart because you hold mine tenderly.” I close my eyes briefly. “I already feel you inside me, a comforting presence I have never felt.” When I focus on his face, his eyes are blazing. “We will fight together from now on. Once I am a snake, we will be a team and take care of each other. Your love for Rylee when she was lost, hurt, and alone is admirable. It made me fall further in love. Your love doesn’t scare me. I thrive because of it.”
“Darling—”
“I want you to tie me up,” I state, and his eyes glow brighter.
“What?” he growls, sliding to the edge of his seat.
“He can’t come between us. So, just like in the shower, replace his touch.” I push the covers away. “I’m ready. I want to complete the bond.”
“Juliana,” he grits out. “You’re hurt.”
“I want you. Our bond is waiting,” I whisper.
“Your wrists.” He looks at the marks. “And ankles.”
“I trust you. You will be careful.”
“You constantly misjudge my restraint,” he says but stands.
“You undervalue your love for me,” I retort, lifting my chin. He stares at me, his chest rising rapidly. “Take me. Bond with me.”
“What is your word?” he asks harshly.
“Money.” I hold his eyes, daring him. His jaw flexes, and he looks away. “Heath, Sir, please give me what I want.” His head snaps back.