25. Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Five
Juliana
M y scream cuts off. I’m afraid to open my eyes. Dropping my hands from my head, I place them on the floor and peek through my eyelashes. The ground is blue, and I blink. I’m on all fours, my throat raw. I’m still wearing Heath’s shirt and I see the tattoos through it. I want to be in his arms instead of this weird room.
Sitting back on my heels, I feel my eyes widen. The room is blue. The ceiling and walls. I can’t tell how big the room is as it seems endless. I’m on guard, expecting a snake to slither into focus. Ava’s explanation of her experience helps ease the fear, but hearing it and living it are very different. My time with Heath was mind-blowing, but I know he can’t help me now.
“Sweetheart,” a voice hisses. I twist, trying to locate where it is coming from. “Are you ready?”
“For?” I slowly stand, turning in circles. My heart pounds, echoing around the room.
“To be a snake's mate.”
“That is the point of this.”
“You have a fire inside your soul.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Shit, I can’t see anything but blue.
“Are you ready to face your fears?”
“I’m not afraid of snakes.” Bugs are different. I’m glad Heath isn’t one.
“I’m not talking about snakes.” I gasp as a figure appears suddenly twenty feet in front of me.
“Fuck.” My mom. “This isn’t real,” I whisper.
“This is your fear.”
“I don’t like this.” I inch backward.
“She made you doubt yourself. You did everything you could to not be like her. You wished for her love even though you hate her.” She takes a step toward me, eliminating the space I created.
“Of course. She was my mom. She was supposed to love me.” My breath increases.
“She doesn’t know how to love.”
“Perfect. That question is answered. Can you go away now?”
“No. You have to realize it’s nothing you did.”
“I know that,” I snap.
“Do you?”
“Are you my snake?”
“You are nothing like her,” she persists.
“If you are, I’m pissed at you. I don’t appreciate what you are doing.” I cross my arms. Panic climbs up my throat. She looks exactly like her. Her clothes are tight; the skirt is a favorite of hers and shows my mom’s body.
“Was there a time you felt loved?” She slips closer and I have to plant my feet. This is all in my head.
“What is the point of this?” I grit out.
“Did she do anything nice for you? Something any mother would do?” I wish I had my powers. I would blast her into space.
“Fuck, we have to do this.” I look away.
“Are you worthy of love?”
My head snaps back.
“Of course I am,” I growl, glaring at her. “I remember one time my mother told me she loved me. I was ten. She stood in the doorway of my room while I was picking out an outfit for the first day of school. I didn’t have much to choose from, but I had to make do. She didn’t want to spend the money on new things. She criticized everything I held up. Finally, she said a skirt and a tank would work. I didn’t feel comfortable in the skirt since I had grown out of it, and the shirt had a hole. She offered to brush my hair before bed and I lit up.” I press my hand to my chest. “I stared in the mirror at her face the whole time. She stared back and listed all the flaws on my face. She liked my hair, though. It was long, almost to my waist. She wanted me to use it because boys liked it long and the girls would be jealous. She commented that it was a shame about my face, but she loved me anyway.” I brush the tears from my cheeks. “A week later, I chopped my hair to my shoulders.” I hold my arms out. “Is this what you wanted to hear? She always hated me, and she showed me every day how much. I did the opposite of everything she did, refusing to be like that bitch. She used me, and everyone she met. The dollar signs would flash in her eyes when she started dating another man. I gave up hoping he would be my savior and new dad.”
“You don’t hate your dad.”
“I barely remember him,” I snarl. “How can I blame him for getting the fuck out?”
“He left you.”
“Yeah, yeah, he did. He’s a shit person, but I understood.”
“Do you want to meet him?”
“Fuck that.” I pace away. My father left, and he has stayed in my past. He didn’t care to find me, so I left him where he belongs. “You ask as if you know him, but I don’t care. He doesn’t deserve to know me or see me. I gave up on believing he would come back to rescue me, too.”
“Do you forgive him?”
“Do I have to? Are we going through this because I have to forgive them? Heath says I’m a good person, but not that good.” I wipe my sweating palms on my shirt.
“Would you do it? If that’s what it takes to have Heath?”
“I would fucking do anything to have him,” I hiss, leaning toward her.
“Your love is deep,” she whispers.
“He’s mine. I’m here because I want him.”
“Do you doubt his love like your mom’s?”
“Of course not,” I sneer, crossing my arms. “He shows me his love every day. Every minute. He values me.”
“Can you be his safe place? With all the pain of your past, can you truly love every part of him?”
“You’re really starting to piss me off.” I stomp closer, pointing a finger in her face. “Yes, I hated my mother and was desperate for love. My dad is worthless, and doesn’t deserve my time. Heath is the best man I have ever known. Yes, he has his demons, but I understand him. I will love him every second, no matter what. He isn’t a replacement for what I didn’t have. He is everything.” I ball my fists. “Fine, if I have to forgive them, I will, but I won’t mean it. All I need is Heath. Do you think it was easy growing up like I did? No. But I survived, so did Heath. We were made to be mates. We had to go through all the shit to get our reward. Do you know what my mom taught me? How to be strong. How to love with my whole heart. Her life is sad, trying to find happiness in money and greed instead of a healthy relationship. Heath has been there for me in my weak moments, and I will be there for him in his.” My breath comes in short bursts. “This is bullshit. Ava said I would get to meet my animal, not this weird imitation of my mom.” I jerk back when she fades and my image replaces my mom.
“We are perfect for him,” she says softly, or I do.
“Jesus,” I whisper. She looks just like me and is wearing Heath’s shirt. “I do look really good in his shirt.”
“We don’t have to forgive our parents. We have to forgive ourselves for putting them in the past.”
“Wait. What?” I stumble back. “You mean, I do.”
“We do.” She’s talking in my head.
“I’m ready to go home.” I look around as if a door will appear.
“We are worthy of love. We shouldn’t feel guilty for giving up on them.”
“What guilt?” I cringe at the lie and she looks sad. I look sad. “I just thought if I held on, she would love me. Really love me. Maybe my dad would feel regret and come back for us. After he left, I packed a bag. I hid it in the back of my closet, just in case he was busy getting a new place and would come back to get us. I knew it was a fantasy, but I wanted to believe. To believe in them. Maybe, one of the times Mom called, she would mean it when she asked how I was. Logically, I knew she was buttering me up to ask for money, but what if?” I hold my hand over my mouth. “I have to let them go. They won’t change and I can’t keep hoping for something that isn’t going to happen.” I nod slowly. “She didn’t care what Stanly would do to me, and she helped him anyway. All she wants is money. I can’t do it anymore. For me. I have to move on.”
“We will. She doesn't deserve our wishes.”
“This is so bizarre.” I rub my hands over my face, and when I drop my arms, a snake is curled in front of me. “Holy shit.” I slowly sit before my knees give out. “I’m not naming you.”
“Why would you? I am you.”
“Right.” The snake is green with streaks of blue. It meets my eyes, and they are the same as mine. I stare, fascinated by what I see in them.
“We are the same. I am you. You are me.”
“Can I touch you?” The panic is gone and all I feel is wonder.
“You can touch yourself.” I swear she smirks and I roll my eyes. My skin is cool and pulses as I touch it. “We are powerful. We are the perfect match for Heath.”
“I have his tattoos.” I lay down, staring at the designs.
“He gave us some of his power. He won’t lose his but he needed to transfer them to help with the transition. Snakes are rare and the magic needed to change from human is great.” The snake curls around my arm.
“I am a snake,” I whisper.
“Yes. We are one.”
“Can I go to Heath now?” I close my eyes.
“Almost. The transition is not complete.”
“How much longer?”
“A little more pain.”
“Lovely.” The snake sinks into my body and I scream.
“Holy shit,” I gasp, lurching up. I’m in bed, and the pain is gone. Heath’s hand is clasped in mine, and I turn sharply. “Heath.” I’ve never seen him in anything less than pristine. His face is tense, and he watches me carefully. “I didn’t like that. All I wanted to do is get back to you.”
“Juliana,” he whispers, and I tilt my head.
“What’s wrong?” I look down expecting to be half snake or something, but my body seems the same.
“Come here,” he orders, and I climb onto his lap. He slides his arm under my ass and stands. Twining my arms around his neck, I allow him to carry me wherever he wants, grateful to be in his arms. “Look.” He puts me on my feet and urges me to turn.
“Fuck, my eyes.” I lean closer to the mirror and blink. “Why are they glowing?” They are bright green and my pupils are elongated. “Wait.” I place my palm on the mirror and it cracks. Crap. My strength is magnified. I was intent on dwelling on my eyes, but how could I miss two long, very sharp teeth curving toward my bottom lip? My tattoos pulse and my mouth parts.
“Stunning, Darling,” he says, his hands cupping my hips.
“I—” I close my eyes and my senses expand. Heath’s heart is beating loud, and I can feel it syncing with mine. He smells delicious. A mix of spices, all the yummy kinds combined. The warmth of his hands burns through the shirt to my skin and I want more. Tingles travel over me, and awareness that wasn’t there when I was human. “I can feel you,” I whisper, and his grip tightens. “Your love is beautiful.” It oozes through the bond. His complete devotion fills my heart. The water in the pipes slowly drips, and I can hear movement upstairs. “Who is here?” I turn and tangle my hands in his open shirt.
“Our family,” he says and steps closer. “Are you in any pain?”
“No.” I lick my lips and don’t care when I cut my tongue. His eyes flare and I crave him. “I love you.” My body feels strong and all the pain is gone.
“I love you, too.” He tilts his head. “Do you need something, darling?” I nod, looking at his pulse. “Take what you need.” I climb him and latch onto his neck. “Yes,” he hisses, palming the back of my neck as I wrap my legs around his waist. I have to mark him. He is mine and my mark will be visible to every shifter.
My back hits the wall and I keep sucking. His blood fills my mouth and trickles down my throat. It’s rich and filled with power, binding him to me. I feel every emotion he felt while I was changing. His worry and determination are clear. I never want him to feel so powerless again. The bond snaps into place. The ground shakes, and the light breaks. I feel like I am floating in euphoria. Clawing Heath’s back, I try to get closer.
“Everything alright in there?” someone asks. I jerk back, hissing toward the door, his blood dripping down my chin.
“It’s fine, Quinn, ” Heath calls out, and I snarl. “You should go back upstairs. Juliana is awake and not happy with the disruption.” I hear a chuckle and then receding footsteps. My concentration returns to his neck and the marks I left. I lean forward and lick them.
“Mine,” I say gutturally.
“I am,” he says, moving his hand to the front of my neck and pushing me against the wall. “Who do you belong to?”
“You. Heath. Sir,” I groan, leaning into his hand.
“Good, darling.” He licks my neck. “My mark. My mate.”
“Please.” I squeeze my legs, needing him to take the ache away. “Fuck me.”
“My greedy little snake,” he rasps.
“Yes, now, please,” I beg, rubbing against him.
“Take my cock out. Put me inside,” he growls, and I push my hand between us. He yanks my underwear off and tosses them to the side. I don’t care if they are listening. Ripping his pants in my rush, I grip his cock, lift my hips, and slide down.
“Fuck, yes,” I moan. Sex with Heath while I was human was fantastic, but this is another level. He was holding back. As he takes over, I lean further against the wall, and hold on. I feel every inch, every slide, and his pleasure. I come. Everything is magnified. The orgasm goes on and on, and my vision goes blurry.
“Jesus, darling,” he groans, his hand tightening on my neck, and I smile. His hips never stop, gaining speed, and grinding. “You take your Sir so well. Pull me deeper.” I relax and take everything he is. “Perfect.”
“Sir,” I whimper, staring into his eyes. We connect in every way possible. My snake is hissing in my head, reveling in our new body and Heath’s claim. The wall creaks with the force of our bodies, and the magic swirls around us.
“I want another,” he snarls, licking my lips. “Give me another before I fill you up,” he demands and his words release me. “Fuck, yeah.” He speeds up and I fall over the edge. “Beautiful.”
“Sir,” I cry, as he comes, his warmth covering me.
“Juliana,” he roars, his head falling back. His thrusts slow, becoming short and deep.
“Heath,” I sigh, savoring his love. He slides his hand from my neck, down my body, and slides it behind my back. I sink into him, laying my head on his shoulder. He walks out of the bathroom and sits on the bed, and I curl further against him. “Don’t leave me,” I say as he starts to pull out.
“Never,” he grumbles, stopping his movement. He caresses my back, and I close my eyes, exhausted. “How do you feel?” he asks.
“Can’t you tell?” I know he is happy and satisfied.
“Yes, but I want you to tell me.”
“I feel wonderful, but more. There isn’t a word to describe my emotions. I can feel everything at once. All the pain is a distant memory, and I never want to leave you again. There is a river of power coursing through me and I don’t know how to direct it. I feel like I should know what to do with it, but right now, I don’t care. I’m where I want to be.” I sit up and gasp as his cock enters me fully. He’s hard, and the heat is rising within me. “I am supposed to be your mate. My snake is fierce and is at home inside me.” I press my hand to my chest. “You are flowing through my veins. I’m strong, like nothing can touch me. I can feel your soul.” I cup his neck and kiss him. “You claim to be a bad person, but your soul is pure. You love deeply, and the love you have for me is beautiful. I will always love you, protect you and the bond. I was waiting for someone to rescue me, wishing for love and acceptance. You gave me all of that, and I realized we rescued each other. We are a family now.”
“Darling,” he whispers, grabbing my hands and kissing them. He cups them together, pressing them to his chest. “I stopped hoping for someone to love a long time ago. I knew whoever the universe chose for me had to be special. Someone who accepted all the dark places in my soul, and all the things I have done to survive. I pretended to be okay with being alone and pushed everyone who wanted to get close away.” He slides one hand between my breasts and to my neck. “You were unexpected, and I didn’t think I could control myself or my snake. I didn’t know how to be a mate, I hardly knew how to be a boyfriend. I knew I could protect you and convince you to be with me. I don’t have a lot of practice with restraint, but I tried. Thankfully, you have a weakness for grumpy snake shifters.” He grins wickedly. “And a love for your Sir. You are everything I wished for and more than I could have hoped for.” He pulls, urging me forward. He bites my lip and licks the sting. “You fell in love with a beast. Luckily, this beast is yours and will do anything for your happiness. My magic, my heart, and my snake belong to you. I am at your command. I will kill anyone to keep you safe and by my side.”
“I love you,” I breathe as I kiss his lips lightly. My stomach rolls and I frown.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“I don’t feel well.” I jump from his lap.
“She wants out.” He stands and holds his hand out. “Your snake.”
“Shit, okay. It’s just like her to ruin a tender moment. I haven’t told you what she put me through yet.” The magic is spreading.
“She didn’t ruin it, darling. This is natural.”
“What do I do?” I ask.
“Don’t resist.” He cups my shoulders. “Look at me,” he demands and I stare at him. “Let her take over. She will show you how to shift.”
“How do I shift back?”
“Do you want my cock again?”
“Ummm…yeah.” He lifts a shoulder. “Right.”
“I’ll be with you. You will understand me while in your animal form. I’ll guide you through the shift back.”
“Will I be as big as you?” I ask as the swirling inside me increases.
“Not at first. You should be able to choose your size as you practice.”
“Fuck,” I gasp. The room is spinning, and my body transforms. I relax and let the power control the shift. The pain stops as I give in, and suddenly, I am curled on the floor. I see with my snake's eyes, and everything is brighter.
“You’re gorgeous,” Heath says, and I can feel his voice vibrate through my animal. He crouches and glides his hand down my body and I shiver. “The poison can’t hurt me. It will take time to control it.” I concentrate on my body and the magic.
“Stop.” I say the words in my head, and I can feel the poison pulling back.
“Fuck,” Heath rasps, sitting beside me. “I can hear you in my head.” He holds his palm under my head. “Climb on.” I slither onto his hand, and up his arm. “When we are both shifted, we can communicate, but I wasn’t sure if we could this way.”
“I’m oddly comfortable.” My world is completely different, but it feels natural to be in this form and climbing up my mate's arm. Even months ago, imagining a life as a snake would have been incredibly weird.
“You were born to be mine,” he says, and I slide across his shoulder. “Every day we will discover your powers.”
“I want to shift with you.”
“Not yet.” He twirls my tail around his fist. “You have to get used to your body, and it will be easier to talk you through the shift back.”
“Fine,” I huff. “I can smell the air.” I flick out my tongue. I smell the lingering scents of our friends and the scent of our bond.
“Yes,” he laughs. “Other shifters have mistaken our size as a weakness. We can move extremely fast and grow in a blink. Our venom works as we command and our teeth are razor sharp. With enough power, we can fly through the air at an enemy. The more you practice, the more you can perfect your skills.”
“This is nice.” I rest my head on his shoulder. I can imagine taking a nap in this form and being perfectly happy with Heath.
“I’m glad you are enjoying it,” he says, playfully yanking me. “I’m ready to celebrate with my mate’s human form.” I don’t respond. “Darling, you want your Sir’s cock, don’t you?”
“Yes, please,” I hiss, reluctant and eager at the same time. Moving down his arm, I curl in front of him. The change comes over me quickly as I think about Heath and being in his arms.
I like my snake, but I want my mate more.