Chapter 1
CHAPTER 1
SETH
The mausoleum was cold, even at the height of summer. I walked down the now familiar aisle and stopped in front of the small, engraved marble plaque that marked the final resting place of the man I loved.
David Harding
April 17, 1985 – May 10, 2024
Beloved Husband .
I put my hand on the smooth, cold stone and finally let my tears fall. “It’s over, sweetheart. After two years, the lawsuit is finally over. I’m so sorry your family tainted your memory like that. But it’s finally done, and you can rest easy.” My mind drifted back to a time before all this. A time when we were still discovering each other and learning what love meant for both of us.
But that was nearly two decades ago. And life was good. Until it wasn’t. And then we found out how utterly unfair life could be. How cruel and unyielding. Now, there I stood with all that remained of the life David and I had built in the inside pocket of my suit jacket. I patted the outside of my jacket. “Now we can start to pay back the people who helped you over the years.”
The twenty-minute drive from the cemetery to my condo in Asbury Park became a forty-minute drive because of summer Shore traffic. The Jersey Shore was a popular summer destination, especially for the residents of North Jersey and New York City—people we locals not-so-lovingly called Bennys . I was thankful my building had a parking garage, or I would have had to park in the next town over.
When I walked into the condo I used to share with David, I had just the briefest expectation that I would hear him calling me from the bedroom. I took a breath and shook off the deep sorrow that wrapped around me as I remembered he wasn’t there and never would be again.
I paused in the living room to gaze at the painting over the fireplace. It was a picture of Asbury Park’s Convention Hall, shown from a beach vantage point and framed by sunset pink clouds and a pale twilight sky. It was the place where we’d first met seventeen years before. We’d had our wedding on the beach right beside it. My finger lovingly traced over the signature on the bottom left corner. I felt that all-too-familiar tightness in my chest. “Oh, David, how I miss you.”
I went into my bedroom to change into something more casual and comfortable for the mid-July heat. I was looking forward to my next three appointments. I enjoyed giving people good news, and for them, this would be the best kind of news. I changed into dark-blue cotton shorts and a short-sleeved white linen shirt, slipped the documents I needed into a cross-body bag, grabbed my keys, wallet, and sunglasses, and headed back out into the summer sun.
It was a beautiful, sunny day, and the tourists were out in force. The sidewalks were crowded, and the traffic crawled along Cookman Avenue as people headed toward the beach and boardwalk. I’d decided to walk since my destinations were fairly close to my condo. My first stop was the Visiting Nurses Association’s LGBTQ+ clinic. I had an appointment with their clinical director, Tom Kincaid. I’d known the man for ten years and considered him a friend. I was glad I would be able to pay back some of the endless kindness he’d shown David and me. He was the one who’d gotten David into hospice care, which allowed me to keep him at home as he neared the end of his life. Tom had also referred me to a grief counselor after David’s death.
There were three patients in the clinic’s waiting room when I entered. Gloria, the receptionist, smiled broadly when I walked in. “Seth! How wonderful to see you again.”
I kissed her cheek. “Thank you, Gloria. You’re looking lovely as always.”
Her cheeks got rosy. “You’re such a charmer, Seth.”
A man dressed in purple scrubs entered the waiting room, and I swore I stopped breathing for a moment. He was gorgeous. Sandy-blond hair touched with sun-streaked highlights fell in soft waves around an angular face. He had cheekbones for days and the most beautiful sea-green eyes I’d ever seen. The laugh lines around his eyes and mouth indicated he was likely in his mid-thirties.
To my embarrassment, he caught me staring. He raised a slender eyebrow. “Can I help you?”
I blinked and cleared my throat. “I’m…uh…here to see Tom, I mean, Mr. Kincaid.” Jesus, what was wrong with me ?
“It’s okay, Jon,” Gloria said. “He’s an old friend of Tom’s.”
I gave her the side-eye. “Who you calling old?”
She gave me a saucy wink. “There’s a lot more salt than there used to be in those lovely locks.”
Jon snorted. “Now you’re just being mean.” He held out his hand to me and smiled brightly. “Jon Taylor. I’m covering for Liam.”
“Ah, okay,” I replied, taking the proffered hand. “Seth Morgan.”
Jon’s eyes skimmed up my body, and I didn’t miss his look of appreciation. “Nice to meet you, Seth.”
Before I had a chance to say anything else, Tom came into the waiting room. “There you are, Seth. Is Gloria giving you a hard time?”
“She called me old.” I fake-pouted.
Tom laughed. He ran a hand through his mostly gray hair. “You’re younger than me, for what it’s worth.” He indicated the hallway leading to his office. “Let’s go chat. You can tell me all about how today went.”
I gave Jon one more lingering glance. “Nice to meet you, Jon.”
Once inside Tom’s office, my friend chuckled. “I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you check out another man since David died.”
I felt my face heat. “I probably embarrassed myself too. I’ve gone out with a few guys over the past year.” I shrugged. “They’ve mostly ended in a one-and-done. Sometimes, there was a second date, but none of them were all that interesting.”
“Well, I have to say, Jon is an interesting man.” Tom tapped his temple. “Incredibly smart and amazingly compassionate. He has a private practice as a nurse practitioner, but he’ll move appointments around if Liam needs him to cover. He also volunteers at the Center.”
“Really? That’s good to know.”
Tom sat behind his desk. I took the seat in front of it. “How did it go this morning?”
I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face. “The judge ruled in my favor. They didn’t get a dime. In fact, they’ll have to pay a portion of my attorney fees.”
“Ha! Excellent news,” he crowed.
“It is indeed,” I replied.
“We should go out to dinner tonight to celebrate. Mark is off tomorrow, so we can even stay out late.”
“That sounds like a great idea,” I said.
“Pascal and Sabine?” he asked.
“You know me so well. It’s my favorite restaurant.”
“What’s next for you?” Tom asked.
I unzipped the cross-body and pulled out one of the three checks I’d written as soon as I’d left the courtroom. “I finally get to do what David asked of me before he died.” I slid the check across his desk. “This is the downpayment. I have two more checks. One will go to The Center and the other to Project R.E.A.L.”
Tom picked up the check and his brows rose to his hairline. “Seth, this is an incredibly generous donation. What about you? Don’t you need some of this now that he’s gone?”
I shook my head. “David and I talked about this a long time ago. We planned for the future with this in mind. I’ve made very good investments, and my condo is paid off.”
Tom’s eyes got shiny. “Well, bless both of you. This will mean a lot to the people we help.”
“It’s the least we could do. You and this organization were there for us throughout the whole ordeal. To the last, David never stopped expressing his gratitude for what you all did for him. For both of us.”
Tom got up and came around to where I was sitting. “Come on. Get up. This deserves a hug.”
I rose, and he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. Tears stung my eyes. It felt so good to have some real human contact. It brought home how touch-starved I was. “It’s my pleasure, really. I would have been lost without you and Mark.”
When Tom finally let me go, we were both a weepy mess. He handed me a tissue and took one for himself. “You said this is just a downpayment. What do you mean by that?” he asked.
“After David got his diagnosis, he went into a frenzy of creativity. I have twenty-three paintings in storage that he painted over the course of three years. I’m going to hold an art auction, and the proceeds will be split between the three organizations here in Asbury Park that help people with HIV and AIDS. It’s the least we can do.”
“You’re a good man, Seth,” Tom said. “So was David. He is missed.”
“Yes, he is,” I replied.