Chapter 5
CHAPTER 5
SETH
I took my morning cup of coffee onto my rooftop patio. There was still more than a half-hour until sunrise and the dawn light filtered over the rooftops. I loved this time of day. The world was still and quiet as it waited for the sun to make its appearance. But that stillness was missing for me this morning.
The closer I got to Jon, the more guilt weighed on me. Intellectually, I knew it was ridiculous for me to feel guilty for being attracted to another man. David and I had talked about it ad nauseam before he died. He’d insisted I not wither away alone. He’d wanted me to find someone to love again. I honestly hadn’t thought I’d find anyone who could give me what I’d had with David.
Then Jon came along with his brilliant smile and sunny disposition and blindsided me. I thought about him all the time, even at work. The more I got to know him, the more time I wanted to spend with him. I’d alternated between congratulating myself and kicking myself for not taking Jon up on his offer to come to my place or take me to his. At least I’d gotten his number. It had only been a little more than two weeks since that first dinner and we’d gone out six times already.
This morning, we were meeting for breakfast at Toast, the restaurant right below his apartment. I thought it was funny that he rarely ate there. I hoped it wasn’t because he didn’t like their food. But then again, Jon wasn’t the type to keep quiet if he didn’t like something.
I was glad it was Saturday because that meant I might be able to entice Jon to spend the day with me. I honestly wished we’d spent last night together so the breakfast we’d be having would be in my kitchen after spending the night in my bed. Maybe it was time. I knew he wanted sex as much as I did. All I had to do was get past my guilt.
Jon had already gotten a table by the time I made it to the restaurant. The place was packed even though it was only a little after eight-thirty on a Saturday morning. The low murmur of conversation and the clatter of silverware against ceramic filled the space. I wove my way through many long tables and dodged busy servers in my effort to get to where Jon was sitting. A smile lit up his face when he saw me approach. He rose and gave me a hug. I returned the hug and kissed him lightly on the lips. “Good morning, gorgeous.”
A light blush bloomed on his cheeks. “Good morning to you too.”
I took the seat across from his. “How was dinner with your parents last night?”
“It was good,” he said with a shrug. “They’re trying to plan a fortieth birthday dinner for me. I told them not to make a big deal out of it, but they like throwing parties.”
I blinked in surprise. “You’re turning forty?”
He frowned. “Yes. Is that a problem?”
I shook my head quickly. “Not at all. I thought you were younger, that’s all.”
“Well, thank you,” he said with a wry grin. “My ex cheated on me because he thought I was getting too old. It’s a bit of a sensitive topic.”
I reached across the table and put my hand over his. “The man was obviously blind and an idiot. I’m sorry he did that to you.”
“Thank you.” He turned his hand over so he could clasp mine. “It turns out he did me a favor. I was a free man when I met you.”
I squeezed his hand. “Lucky me.”
We released our hold on each other when the server came to take our order and pour us each a cup of coffee. I picked up my cup and breathed deeply. “Mmm, nectar of the gods.”
Jon nodded. “There’s nothing like your first cup of coffee.”
“It’s my third,” I said before raising my mug to my lips.
Jon’s eyes widened. “How are you not vibrating?”
I laughed. “I may have a little addiction.” I took another sip. “To be fair. I don’t usually have this many in the morning, but I was up early watching the sunrise.”
“From your rooftop patio, no doubt,” he said.
“Of course,” I replied with a grin. “But I want to circle back to your birthday. When is it?”
“Oh. It’s August ninth.”
I felt a little hurt. “That’s just a little over a week away,” I said. “You never said anything.”
Jon bit his bottom lip. “I wasn’t sure if I should ask you to come. You wanted to take things slow. I didn’t want to push.”
Well, shit. Hello, guilt. Only now it was for making Jon feel uncertain about my feelings for him. I blew out a sigh. “I’m sorry. I never meant to make you feel like you couldn’t ask me to participate in important events in your life. I would love to come to your birthday dinner.”
“I’d love for you to be there,” he said.
The server brought our food, and I asked for orange juice. “All done with coffee?” Jon asked playfully.
“Yeah. I’m really not supposed to drink that much. I just wanted to be awake for our date.” I dug into my omelet. “Where is your birthday dinner being held?”
“At the restaurant in the Moonlight Inn,” he replied after swallowing his bite of French toast. “Have you been there?”
I nodded. “David and I went there a lot. The last time was a fundraiser held by the pianist, Jeremy Fitzgerald.”
“I heard about that,” Jon said. “It was a bit too rich for my blood.”
“Maybe you can get him to play for your birthday dinner. He is Liam’s brother-in-law, after all.”
Jon snorted a laugh. “No way am I asking a world-renowned concert pianist to play for my birthday party.”
I just smiled. He might not want to ask, but I certainly did. I’d met Jeremy Fitzgerald a few times since the fundraiser. He and his husband, Sean O’Neil, had even gone to David’s funeral. David had bequeathed a painting to Moonlight Inn as a thank-you for their support of the LGBTQIA+ community. I hadn’t been able to honor his intention because the whole estate had been tied up in litigation by David’s greedy relatives. Now, I could give it to them and sneak in a request for Jeremy to play for Jon’s birthday. Even if it was just one song, it would be amazing.
We chatted about lighter topics for the rest of the meal, but I had plans. I just hoped Jon would be on board with them. I was pretty sure he would be, but there was always a chance I was wrong.
After we paid the check, we walked outside into the humid summer air. I pulled him into my arms for our first real kiss of the morning. Our tongues tangled and our bodies melded together. When I finally lifted my head, he looked at me with a slightly dazed expression and said, “Well, hello to you too.”
I chuckled. “I’ve been dying to do that since I walked into the restaurant.”
“Happy to be of service,” he snarked.
I drew him close to me again. “I had an idea for something to do now that we’re finished with breakfast.”
“What’s that?” he asked breathlessly.
“Why don’t you show me your apartment?” I ran my nose up his jawline and pressed a kiss behind his ear. “Specifically, your bedroom,” I murmured.
Jon tilted his head back to look me in the eye. “Really?” he asked, his voice hoarse with need.
“Yes. Really,” I replied with certainty. I was done letting guilt hold me back. I wanted this man so badly that it hurt.
He stepped back and took my hand. “Okay then. My door is right here.” As we climbed the stairs to the second floor, he said, “Seth, I want you to be sure. I don’t want you to regret anything.”
I moved up to the step he was on and stopped. I cupped his face with my hands. “I could never regret anything with you.”