Chapter 3
CHAPTER 3
Blair forgot all about the handsome stranger with the wounded eyes when the lunch rush hit. A rush that hadn’t let up until near closing time. He paused wiping tabletops to watch the sun set and noticed a figure sitting on a bench across the street. The same jacket, the same wind-blown hair, the same defeated roll to his shoulders. And the same tug in Blair’s chest to ease whatever pain Jake was suffering.
“Nice one tonight, eh, boss?” Traci said as she came up beside him, a tray of dirty coffee cups hugged to her side. They always paused for the sunset.
“Sure is,” he said, but he wasn’t looking at the sun anymore. He turned to Traci. “Do you mind closing up?”
She grinned. “Got a date?”
With Jake, if I’m lucky . “It’s Thursday,” he said instead.
“Right. I forgot,” Traci said. The doorbell jingled and a last-minute customer rushed in. She turned. “I got this. You go have a good night.”
Blair left Traci to finish up and start closing, while he prepared another iced cinnamon honey latte for Jake, a regular coffee in case he hadn’t liked the latte, and a cup of peach tea for himself. He put four rainbow cheese crisps in a bag. He pulled on his jacket from the back and, gathering the drinks and snacks, headed across the street.
“Hi,” Blair said as he sat down and put the drink tray on the bench between them.
Jake remained motionless, like a living statue. His gaze was distant and unfocused. Lost somewhere in his mind. The Bliss Beans to-go cup rested on the bench near Jake’s thigh, but when Blair picked it up to throw it into the recycle bin, it was still full. Either Jake hadn’t touched it, or he hadn’t liked it. Blair tossed it and when he sat back down, he took a moment to study Jake. His expression was drawn, the skin around his eyes and mouth tight. His shoulders were rigid, and his hands fisted in his lap.
The top corner of a pamphlet sticking out of Jakes’s coat pocket caught his attention. Blair didn’t need to see the whole thing to know what it was. He recognized the familiar artwork, considering he was the one who had designed it. The title on the front of that pamphlet read Living with HIV .
His heart ached for Jake, who, Blair knew from experience, must have just received a positive diagnosis. Blair cleared his throat and angled fully toward Jake.
“Hi, Jake,” he said louder.
Jake startled out of his fugue, turning wide, confused eyes on Blair.
“I’m Blair.” He smiled and pointed to the tray of drinks between them before hooking a thumb over his shoulder. “I own the coffee shop across the way and noticed you’ve been sitting here for hours.”
Frowning, Jake looked at his watch and cursed.
“I thought you might like a drink and a snack. I brought another iced cinnamon honey latte, and a coffee in case you didn’t like that. Or you could have the peach tea?” He opened the bag. “I brought some rainbow cheese crisps, too. You must be hungry.”
In response, Jake’s stomach growled loud enough to be heard down the street. He ran his hands through his hair and Blair’s stomach dropped as Jake stood up.
“Sorry I-I can’t,” Jake said, his broken voice as distant as his gaze.
The man had barely said two words since Blair had first met him, but Blair didn’t want him to go just yet. The pull toward Jake he’d felt earlier shifted into a mild panic. He couldn’t let Jake go now. Not after Blair knew what had put that haunted look in Jake’s eyes.
“Just a drink?” Blair pleaded, offering his softest smile and trying to be outwardly casual while inside begging, please , please , please .
“Okay. Yeah.” Jake dropped back down to the bench with a heavy sigh. Exhaustion rolling off him in waves. “That fancy latte sounds good. Sorry I didn’t try the last one.” A strained sounding huff-laugh burst from Jake’s mouth. “I don’t even remember getting it.”
“No worries,” Blair said as he handed the latte over. His fingers brushing Jake’s cool skin sent an electric charge up his arm.
“Thank you.” Jake took a sip and then lifted the cup in salute. “This is good.”
Blair grinned. He’d known Jake would like it. That was his superpower. Knowing which drink or snack was just the right one for his customers.
“Rainbow cheese crisps?” Jake’s brows furrowed. “What are those?”
“My special savory snack,” Blair preened. He loved coming up with new and healthy items to put on the menu. “Three kinds of cheese, grated zucchini and carrot, sprinkled with chia and flax seeds, and baked to perfection.”
“Okay, I’ll try one,” Jake said, but Blair didn’t miss the hesitancy in his voice.
Blair snorted. “One taste and you’ll be hooked. I promise.”
Jake flicked a skeptical glance at him, but he took the treat and carefully bit into it. His eyebrows shot up as he chewed. “This is amazing.”
Warmth spread through Blair. Nothing felt better than making someone happy with the food or drinks he’d made.
Jake didn’t speak again, as he ate his cheese crisp and sipped his latte, and Blair found he enjoyed the moment of solitude between them. While he’d only just met Jake, the silence felt comfortable in a way that surprised him as much as it didn’t.
The fiery sunset had given way to deepening indigo. As though the enveloping darkness created a safe space for talking about hard things, Blair pointed to the pamphlet sticking out of Jake’s pocket.
“I have one of those, too.”
Jake glanced down and fear slashed across his face like a dagger. He shoved the pamphlet deeper into his pocket and jumped from the bench. Blair knew this time Jake wouldn’t sit back down with a simple plea.
Without forethought, Blair reached out and put his hand on Jake’s biceps. Jake froze.
“No, please. Don’t go.” Blair swallowed. He didn’t want to invade Jake’s privacy, but he also knew from experience that newly diagnosed people needed to know they weren’t alone. “I didn’t mean to pry, but I recognize the pamphlet because I have one, too. I’ve been living with HIV for over a decade now.”
Jake’s eyebrows shot to his hairline. “Over a decade? But you’re—You’re just a kid.”
“I’m actually thirty-six.” Blair shrugged and offered a smile. “But thank you for the flattery. I’ll take it.”
Blair swore he could see every wheel in Jake’s head turning as Jake stared down at him. Jake exhaled so deep Blair was sure he had no breath left in his lungs. His shoulders dropped along with his head.
“Okay.”
Jake lowered himself to the bench and sighed. Silence stretched between them again. Not so much uncomfortable, but charged with an intangible energy. That gut-deep feeling that something was about to happen—good or bad remained to be seen, but a change was on the horizon.
“Go ahead,” Blair spoke softly, as though speaking too loudly might scare Jake off. “You can ask me anything.”
Jake turned fully toward him and studied his face in the low light of early evening. He pursed his lips.
“Over a decade?” Jake repeated.
“I was twenty-two when I was diagnosed,” Blair said, remembering that day and feeling much like he was sure Jake was right now. “I was a bit of a partier, let’s say. Thought I was invincible and nothing bad would ever happen to me. Turned out I wasn’t immortal after all.” Blair smiled, but he knew it was a weak attempt. “It took a while to get my viral load stabilized, but once I finally accepted this was my life now, I took my health more seriously. I’ve been undetectable for years now.”
“You look so young and healthy,” Jake said, and then winced, as though he’d said the wrong thing.
“Youthful comes from good genes and healthy comes from a good lifestyle.” Blair took a sip of his tea. “You can live a full and happy life with HIV, just like anyone else. But you do have to take care of yourself. Stick to your medication regime, get tested regularly, eat healthy, exercise. And luckily for you, these days you only need to take one pill a day. When I was first diagnosed, I had to take two. Treatments are always improving.”
Jake scraped his hands down his face. “I just never thought this would happen to me. Especially at forty-three.”
“It can happen to anyone anytime,” Blair said. “And you could have had it for years before showing any symptoms.”
Jake raised an eyebrow at that. His tone haughty when he said, “I’ve been married— was married—for sixteen years.”
“And yet, here you are.”
Jake stared at him and then slumped back on the bench. “And here I am.” His next words were a whisper. “I don’t know what to do now.”
“Now, you come with me.” Blair stood and held his hand out.
Jake frowned, gaze bouncing from Blair’s open palm to his face and back. “Where?”
“Somewhere that will be good for you,” Blair implored.
Jake stood and placed his hand in Blair’s. Even though they’d been sitting outside in the cooling evening with a chill breeze coasting off the water, his skin was warm and soft, and his hand fit perfectly in Blair’s. Blair gave him a squeeze of reassurance.
“Come on.” Blair gave a little tug. “I just have to stop in the coffee shop and grab my salad.”
Confusion etched across Jake’s face, but he didn’t say anything as he let himself be led by Blair.