CHAPTER 8
SCARLETT
To say I am exhausted is an understatement. It’s been almost a week since Aiden gave me the all-clear to move around a little. I didn’t realize how much it was going to take out of my body, but it was a lot.
The first night, I only woke up from a bad nightmare, but walking twice that day for five minutes each wore me out. My body has gotten used to it a little more, but I am still very tired.
I haven’t told Daddy, but I’m pretty sure he knows. I can’t get anything past him. He seems to know everything, sometimes even before I do.
I sigh and look at Juniper in my arms. She’s awake and looking directly at me.
“Such a good girl for Mommy,” I coo at her. “So pretty.”
She just blinks at me, and I know she probably doesn’t understand what I’m saying, but it doesn’t matter to me.
“We’re in such a better place,” I gently say. “Now we won’t have to worry about what he’ll do to us.”
I don’t dare speak his name, not wanting her to know who her real father is. His name isn’t on the birth certificate, and I’m glad. He doesn’t want any rights to her. He wanted to sell her.
“Thorin, Daddy, is so nice for letting us stay with him right now.” I kiss her face. “We’re going to be just fine. He’s going to protect us while we stay here.”
I don’t know how long he plans on allowing me to stay here.
Is he just letting me stay here until I heal, just being my Daddy until I can take care of myself and Juniper?
My heart breaks at the thought so I push it away.
I don’t need to be thinking about that at the moment.
Now, I need to focus on healing and when the time comes, then I’ll deal with it.
“He’s so big and strong,” I giggle, continuing to talk to Juniper. “You just love being in his arms. I think I would too, but I don’t know so count yourself lucky.”
Even after I invited him to sleep in the bed, he hasn’t. I don’t know what’s holding him back. Maybe he doesn’t want to get in bed with me since he knows I’m going to leave.
“I’ll always protect you two. Even as we grow old and gray,” Daddy says.
But then he says something like that, about us being together for years and years, and I think he wants me to stay. So why won’t he come sleep in bed with me?
“Yeah?” I reply, looking back at him.
I’ve gotten so comfortable around him that I’ve stopped flinching whenever he walks into the room and talks. The first couple of times, I jumped, and he always had this guilty look on his face.
“Yes, I mean it. I’m always going to protect you two. I’ll protect her from all the boys when she gets older.”
I roll my eyes. “You mean scare them all off so she can’t date anyone?”
“Exactly.” He smiles.
“Do you not want her to marry?” I ask.
“Never said that. I’ll just make sure he’s good for her first. I don’t want her heart to get broken.”
“Everyone gets their heart broken at some point. It’s like a rite of passage,” I say, remembering the times I was hurt.
He smiles at me and nods. “Yes, but if I can stop it happening, I’m going to.”
“I can’t believe we are actually talking about this,” I whisper. “I don’t even know how long I will be staying here.”
“Forever,” he replies. “Forever is how long you are going to stay here. Both of you.”
I blink several times, not believing he just said those words.
“I’m not letting you go. Never,” he declares. “When you came here, I just knew there was a connection. One I’m not willing to let go.”
“Oh,” I whisper.
“Oh?” He raises an eyebrow, amusement twinkling in his eyes. “Did I stun you into silence?”
“Maybe?” I say more like a question.
He has me all flustered by his words, but at the same time he makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Am I ever going to find someone like this again? I don’t know if I want to take a chance on finding someone like Thorin.
Someone who cares for me, loves me, spoils me, and wants what is best for me.
Daddy loves Juniper. He hasn’t said those words to either of us, but I can see it in his eyes even though he hasn’t known us for long.
“That’s okay,” he calmly says. “I’ll repeat those words as many times as you want me to. And if it gets too overwhelming, let me know and I’ll taper it down. My actions might show more.” He trails off at the end.
“So patient.” Tears well in my eyes. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying. It’s just that my hormones are all out of whack.”
Daddy cups my face and plants a kiss on my lips. “You’re okay. I’m not mad at you or want you to stop. If you want to cry, you can cry and I’ll be there to hold you and catch you. I’ll be there to wipe them away.”
That just makes the tears drip down my face with his sweet words. Daddy wraps his arms around me, pulling my face into his chest.
“I’m sorry,” I sob.
“Shhh, you’re okay. There is no need to be sorry for being upset. I’m here for you,” he whispers into my ear.
I don’t know how long we stay in this position as I cry into his chest. But Daddy holds me, never letting go as he says sweet nothings into my ear.
“You really want us both that much?” I whisper, pulling away from him.
“Yes, Scarlett I do. I want you and Juniper. I want to help her grow up. I want to grow old with you. If you want more kids, I want to fill you with my seed and get you pregnant.” His voice goes husky toward the end.
I whine and push my face back into his chest. “I can’t do anything at the moment.”
His hands run up and down my back. “I know you can’t, and I don’t expect you to even if you could. I just want you to know that I want both of you.”
I relax into his embrace, loving the feeling of his arms wrapped around me. I am never going to get tired of this feeling.
“Can we go for a walk?” I ask.
“I’m not sure you should,” he gently replies. “You are pretty exhausted.”
“But—”
“No buts.”
I sigh and don’t say anything. He has noticed how tired I have been. Maybe it’s because I’ve been waking up several times a night to feed Juniper as well as waking up with nightmares. It hasn’t been restful sleep.
That’s why Daddy has implemented naps. I have to have at least one nap a day, normally when Juniper just goes to sleep after being fed.
“Just a small walk on the wrap-around porch to get some fresh air?” I ask, practically begging him.
I wasn’t going to argue, but I want to go out and walk. I want to feel the breeze on my skin and enjoy the fresh air.
“Will you not complain and take a nap after the walk?” he asks.
“If I can walk on the wrap-around porch, I will gladly take a nap after,” I declare.
“If you are cranky, you’ll have lines and you won’t be able to go out until I see the bags under your eyes stop,” he threatens.
I nod, putting the information of no whining to the front of my mind. Who knows how long something like getting rid of the bags under my eyes will take? I don’t want to chance it.
“Promise,” I say.
Daddy helps me up and grabs Juniper, putting her in a baby carrier around his waist. She is snuggled into his chest, dozing off against his warm skin.
“Find an adult carrier, and I’ll let you carry me like that,” I blurt out without thinking.
My eyes go wide, my cheeks turning red as I realize what I just said.
Daddy full-on laughs and nods. “If I find one, will you actually?”
I shrug, looking away. I can’t believe I actually said that. But what I said was the truth. I would love to be against his chest like that, falling asleep with his warmth seeping into my skin.
What if we sat on the couch, him inside of me, as I dozed off to sleep? My face goes even redder.
“What was that thought?” Daddy asks.
I didn’t realize he had moved to the other side so he could clearly see my face.
“Nothing!” I quickly say. “It was nothing.”
“Tell Daddy,” he demands. “No secrets between us. I’m not going to judge you.”
“I just thought about us being naked on the couch, a blanket wrapped around us, you inside of me, as I dozed off to sleep. Feeling full, satisfied, and warm,” I mumble toward the end.
I would have never said something like that before, but Daddy makes me feel so comfortable. I feel like I can tell him everything without being judged. Just like he said.
“When you get the all-clear, we can do that as many times as you want. I won’t complain.” He smiles.
“Really?” I ask.
“Yes, really. If you have any other ideas you want to try out, let me know. I’ll remember them.”
I nod again, my shoulders sagging as I relax. I am so glad I decided to push myself and come here the day after giving birth to Juniper. I know it was dumb and dangerous, but I am so glad.
“I’ll find one. In the meantime, anytime you want to be held like this, you let me know.” Daddy kisses the top of my head. “Now, let’s go for the walk and put you down for a nap. Both of you.”
“Will you nap with me?” I ask softly, afraid he is going to say no.
I crave to feel his arms wrapped around me as I sleep. I want to feel protected.
“If that’s really what you want.” He opens the door for me.
I step outside and take a deep breath. This is what I have to look forward to every morning; every day, if I stay here.
“Yes, it really is what I want. I’m not just saying it to get you into bed. I want it.” I turn to him.
He smiles, grabbing my hand as we slowly make our way around the cabin. Every once in a while, we stop and look out. It’s so beautiful up here. All the trees, other cabins, and birds chirping as the day goes on.
Heaven.
Absolute heaven.
I hope that in several years or even months, I still want to come out here and will continue to be amazed by the beauty of it all.
“Do you ever get tired of the view?” I ask, curiosity piquing inside of me. “How long have you lived up here?”
“Almost twenty years,” he replies. “And no, I don’t. Every single day, I sit out and drink my coffee while looking around the house.”
“But you haven’t the past couple of days or however long I’ve been here?”
He shakes his head. “No, I haven’t, but that’s okay. I love being around you.”
“Maybe we can start doing it again? Together?” I suggest.
I hold my breath as we walk again, waiting for Thorin to say something, anything.
“Yeah, I would love that,” he says. “I have a baby monitor coming today so we can set it up in case Juniper needs us.”
“You are so thoughtful,” I whisper, leaning into his side. “I honestly forgot about things like that. You seem to have everything under control.”
“It’s my job,” is all he says.
“But it’s also my job. I mean, I did give birth to her. I am her mother.”
“Yes, and I’m not taking it away from you. I just know you’ve been a little overwhelmed, so I stepped in without you having to ask me.” He kisses my forehead.
“Thank you, Thorin, I really appreciate it.”