Scorched King (Outlaw Justice #5)

Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Sasha

“Hey, babe.”

I jolted at the deep voice at the door of my room as a smile crept slowly across my face. When I turned to look, my joy deepened at the sight of Bear filling the doorway. Big, cuddly and fearsome.

“Hey yourself,” I returned. “I hear you’re going home today. That’s awesome.”

A small, tight smirk tightened his lips. In these last weeks at the hospital, I’d gotten to know this club brother a lot, and I’d learned he never smiled. Although I had caught his eyes sparkling with what looked like humor at least once or ten times.

“Yep. They’ve deemed me healed enough to escape this popsicle stand. How about you?”

I shrugged. I wasn’t about to admit that I was on the verge of being kicked out against my will. Only my stubborn refusal to leave had bought me some extra time. Well, that and my claim of emotional damage. Although those were not my words. The fancy psychologist they sent in here every day to talk to me, batted them around so much they seemed meaningless at this point. But if they worked…

“Maybe soon,” I said noncommittally.

Bear stepped into my room and approached the bed, his giant body taking up all the visual space in front of me. Honestly, before getting to know him in the hospital, every time I’d seem him I’d been afraid to talk to him for more than a second. Whether it was his size, or the constant scowl he wore on his face, he intimidated me.

But with his room next to mine in the burn unit, and with days on end of nothing to do but watch television, we’d gravitated towards each other and were now close friends. I was so happy to see him healed enough to go home, but a piece of me was sad too. I was going to miss his company—and his comfort.

“I could stay here today until the doctor comes in, and find out what the deal is. You look a hell of a lot better than I do, so I don’t understand why they haven’t released you.”

Alarm shot through me. Bear took life quite literally and if he said he was going to wait and talk to my doctor for me, he meant it.

“No way. I’m not letting you waste your first day of freedom in weeks, babysitting me. I’m sure my time is coming soon.”

His scowl deepened. “Maybe you aren’t asking the right questions. And if your doctor isn’t giving you any answers then I’ll lean on him for you. We should go home together.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m sure he’ll have news about my release soon. I’ve been told I’ve made good progress. The last skin grafts supposedly made things a lot better.” It was difficult to keep the bitterness from my voice. Though I couldn’t see most of my scars without effort, I knew they were there, and they were disgusting.

“You know you’re beautiful no matter what,” he said, leaning down to kiss the top of my head, before he settled down on the bed next to me after I scooted over to give him the room he needed.

I hated to admit it, but I lapped up his praise like a greedy fool. There weren’t a lot of people in my life who had much to say about me. Yes, I had friends at the club, and their friendships meant the world to me. But it wasn’t quite the same.

Thoughts of JD filled my mind, as I fought against the sharp sting of tears at the backs of my eyes. I wouldn’t cry as long as Bear remained in my room, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to. Part of my pain came at my own insistence by refusing to see the man, but I didn’t know what else to do. I’d made him stay away, partially because I didn’t want him to see me like this, but also didn’t trust myself not to say something stupid. Like admit I had feelings for him—again.

He’d made it very clear time and time again, that we were nothing but friends. What had happened between us before would never happen again. It wasn’t the first time he’d said those words, but there’d been something so final in his tone the last time that I’d finally taken it to heart.

JD Monroe did not want me around.

I was his employee and nothing else. And now that was gone too.

Gah! I inwardly groaned. If only I could keep him out of my head too.

So maybe the whole emotional damage thing I was using to stay here, wasn’t a total lie. I had issues I needed to face that I kept putting off, but I didn’t need some stranger to actually dig inside my head and pull those out. Those were my private companions. I liked them just as they were. Taking them away now would be too much. One day, when I was good and ready, I’d deal with them.

“I bet the club is planning a big party for your return,” I said, cringing at the wistful tone in my voice.

“Nah. I told them I didn’t want any fanfare. All I need is for life to get back to normal. Besides, I need to work. They can save the party for you, babe.”

The way he called me babe melted my heart. For such a big, scary looking man, he had a softness that had a way of making me feel comfortable with him. It was pretty awesome and I was going to miss him around here.

“I don’t need a party either,” I said quietly, laying my head on his shoulder and taking the comfort he so often offered.

“I don’t know about that. You and the girls sure made time for your margarita nights. Don’t you miss those?”

I sure as hell did. And if Patty or Meg thought they could get away with sneaking a blender and all the fixings into the hospital, we’d have been living it up this whole time.

Speaking of… I needed to give Patty a call. If anyone could help me find a place to go it would be her. Although I wasn’t sure I could trust her not to trick me back onto club property. That woman was like a dog with a bone. When she had an idea in her head, she would not leave it alone.

And she stood at the front of the line of those who thought JD needed an old lady.

Rather than say all that and encourage Bear, I simply gave him a small nod instead. “Sure. But things aren’t the same. I’m not the same.”

“Not true,” he insisted, grabbing my hand and threading my fingers between his. “Well, maybe not exactly the same,” he quipped. “But I’d dare say better.” He rubbed his hand across the thin red scar on my cheek. “You’re still beautiful enough to stop traffic. But now you seem approachable.”

I laughed. “And I wasn’t before?”

“To some people, I guess. For me, you seemed untouchable. So far out of the realm that to spin in your orbit would be impossible.”

I sucked in a quiet breath. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? I almost cracked a joke about it but stopped myself. There was no way on earth I would hurt this man. He’d been my rock these last few weeks and for that I owed him everything.

There were whole days in my recent memories where I could remember nothing but the pain and Bear holding my hand through it all. Even though he must have been in as much pain as I was, having lost two fingers on his left hand, and suffered burns that mangled the rest of the arm with permanent scars.

“And you always seemed too scary to talk to,” I finally said, after an almost uncomfortably long silence. “But as it turns out, you aren’t scary at all.”

He barked a laugh. “I don’t know whether to thank you or admonish you. I’m supposed to be the scariest mother fucker in the MC. It’s my job.”

“Oh I’m sure you still are. But I know now there’s another side of you.”

He shook his head. “At least you didn’t call me a teddy bear. That would have been offensive.”

I snorted. He had no idea how close I’d been to saying that very thing. Although he didn’t look soft like a teddy, he definitely had some soft spots and for that I was damned grateful. “Well, now I know what to say if I ever want to piss you off. Although that seems unlikely.” I nuzzled closer, letting his body warmth seep into my always too cold skin.

“Call me a teddy bear and I’ll have you across my knee so fast you won’t know what hit you.”

His voice rumbled across my skin and I swallowed thickly at the image that conjured in my mind, but instead of Bear doing the paddling, it was JD and before I could stop it a slight whimper slid from my lips.

Bear looked at me sharply, but I refused to turn and meet his eyes. I could feel my face had turned some shade of red, and that was more than telling enough. That was a conversation he and I were not going to have.

“So what time are you leaving?” I asked, hoping to steer us onto safer ground. If he was getting the wrong idea I would have to straighten things out. Soon. When I had just a little more energy.

“Someone should be here any minute to pick me up. But I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye—for now. I’m worried about you.”

God dammit those tears were pricking pretty darn hard at my eyes and I could feel the sheen of wetness covering the front of them. His kindness never failed to amaze me. The club was about the closest thing I’d had to a family, and with Bear here I still felt connected to them. Without them, well, I could barely breathe if I thought too hard on that.

“You don’t have to worry about me,” I said as soon as I thought I could without my voice breaking. “Things are looking up for us both.” I wasn’t one hundred percent sure if that was true in my case, but I’d had some time to think about it and I’d made the decision that it was time for me to figure out what exactly I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

As much as I’d loved hosting at the poker club, and been darn good at it, working in an illegal club wasn’t a long-term plan. Especially in light of what had happened.

“Do you think JD is going to reopen the poker club?” I asked in a low voice even though there was no one else in the room to overhear.

“I know he is. Axel’s already let me know that construction is well underway, and my first task when I get back and settled is to start finding more security. Not only will there never be a repeat of what happened, but we’re going to let the world know that you can’t fuck with Wrath. We bite back.”

I shuddered against the vehemence of his words. The passion in which he spoke about the club was part of the reason I liked them so much. They were as committed to each other as much, if not more, than any blood family I’d seen. If women could become full-fledged members, I’d have been at the front of the line. It was high time these men moved into the current century.

“I still think it’s unfair that an MC has to be a boys club.” I pouted.

He snorted. “You think the women we employ aren’t as important as anyone else?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe,” I said hesitantly, not really believing it. I’d seen them rally behind anyone associated with the club, but I wasn’t convinced that meant the same thing. Those men were loyal to each other in ways I couldn’t comprehend. They had no real connection to make it happen, and yet, it just was.

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

But did I? Instead of voicing that doubt out loud I settled my head on Bear’s shoulder once again and soaked up what comfort I could. As long as he was here, by my side, holding my hand, I felt safe. But when he went back to his room every day, and now when he left the hospital, I didn’t know what to think. I could already feel the loneliness trying to suck me into a black hole.

I always had more questions in my head than answers. Most of which I was afraid to ask because I was pretty sure I wouldn’t like the answers.

“Bear!” A loud voice boomed from my door. “What the actual fuck?”