26. Samantha
26
SAMANTHA
Jake is leaving today.
I’m afraid to face him and I’m afraid not to.
I slam my office door behind me and listen as the sound echoes through the quiet restaurant. My heart pounds in my chest, but it isn’t from exhaustion—it’s frustration. I’m frustrated with myself, with Jake, and frankly—the entire situation. I’ve created this mess because I’m too scared to venture into the unknown. The possibility that perhaps he’s my destiny isn’t lost on me.
He is leaving. And I let him go. What the hell is wrong with me? He’s an incredible man. He’s got a heart of gold, he’s affectionate and he makes me a better person. We’re opposites. I’m too uptight and he’s well, he can be downright funny. And I love that about him. He softens the sharp edges of my personality.
And instead of fighting for him and what we have, my fears make me retreat. I convinced myself I wouldn’t fit into his world, and that he’ll wake up one day and realize I’m not perfect. Or maybe, he’ll decide we don’t have what it takes to make us work in the long run .
And the truth hit me hard. I’m pretending I’m fine when every part of me screams that I’m not. I’m broken—again.
“Ryan!” I snap, my voice sharper than I intended. The young server flinches, eyes wide as he turns toward me. “These tables aren’t clean enough. Customers notice these things. If you want to work here, you have to care about the details.”
Ryan swallows hard and nods, immediately reaching for the cloth to redo his work. Guilt claws at my chest, but I shove it down, focusing instead on something—anything—that I can control.
Maggie, my chef, and closest friend, appears beside me, arms crossed over her chest. “All right, what’s going on with you?” she quips.
I scowl, refusing to meet her gaze. “Nothing. Just trying to keep things running smoothly. Is that a crime now?”
She snorts. “Please. I’ve known you for years, Sam. You only go into perfectionist overdrive when you’re trying to ignore something. Or someone.”
I turn away, but Maggie isn’t letting me off the hook. She leans against the counter, her voice gentler now. "Look, I get it. You’re scared. But Jake didn’t invite you just to uproot your life for no reason. He invited you because he wants you with him. Because he sees a future with you."
I swallow hard, the lump in my throat growing. “Maggie, I can’t just drop everything. My career, the restaurant, everything I have is here—it’s my life.”
“And what about your life with him?” she counters. “You keep thinking that compromise means losing, but it doesn’t. It means being an adult and figuring out what’s important. Jake won’t play football forever. He’s got maybe ten years left. That’s time to build something together, to figure out the next step.”
Tears burn at the back of my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. Instead, I let out a breath and whispered, “What if we don’t work out?”
Maggie sighs, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Then you can say you tried, Sam. At least you didn’t let fear choose for you.”
I let her words sink in, the weight of them settling into my chest. Maybe she’s right. Maybe it’s time that I start running toward what I want.
Maybe it’s time to fight for Jake.
But I need more time to think this through because the consequences aren’t mine to shoulder alone, and I have Ellie to consider.