67. Alice
Chapter sixty-seven
Alice
T wenty-three different pamphlets on heart attacks or heart failure and diet and exercise and how to fucking stay alive when your body was trying to kill you. Alice read every damn one in the waiting room at the cardiac rehab center. Mother’s Olympics of appointments Monday had started straight after breakfast. Alice and Jay’s marathon of keeping Henry company in the waiting room lasted through the physical therapy and the therapy-therapy sessions.
When the staff called Mother back for the actual doctor meeting, Henry got to his feet and took her arm.
Alice thrust a flyer at him. “Here, this should help.”
He tipped his head. He was about due for a haircut, though he wouldn’t be competing with Jay for shaggiest style anytime soon. “I should inquire about water aerobics?”
“No, I mean, yes, you should, but—” She flipped the paper in his hand, revealing the list of questions she’d scrawled from meshing the info from various pamphlets with Mother’s day-to-day needs. “Ask about these, too.”
He scanned the list, glanced at the door the nurse was holding open for them, and bent toward Mother. “Perhaps Alice ought to accompany you today.”
Her? But Henry would be an anxious wreck waiting—
“She does have a solid head on her shoulders.” Mother laid assessing eyes on them both and gave a minute nod, maybe to herself. “Alice? Would you join me?”
She sprang to her feet. “Of course, if that’s what you want.” She tried to gauge Henry’s sincerity surreptitiously. He’d been keeping such a tight grip on his mom’s care. Going out for groceries yesterday had been a big step; not attending the meeting with the care team today might be asking too much. “If you’re sure.”
Henry tucked the sheet back into her hand, his fingers pressing hers in a kiss, a pledge, a plea. “I’m sure of you, dearest.”
He took her seat beside Jay, who immediately wrapped both hands around Henry’s and settled them on Henry’s knee. A faint smile lightened Henry’s shadowed eyes, and he murmured something too soft for her to hear. Beaming, Jay straightened his shoulders and shot her a confident stare that filled her heart to bursting. “If you’re both real good, you can have a slice of cake with tea later.”
They did have that mouth-watering Black Forest cake waiting in the fridge. They’d flirted with it half a dozen times at breakfast, the spectacular cherry-chocolate glinting in the light every time the door opened for eggs or berries or yogurt.
“Tease.” She stuck her tongue out at Jay, then clamped her mouth shut on a laugh when a kid in the next row over copied her.
“Aha, bribery! I shall endeavor to be on my very best behavior.” With a cheery chuckle, Mother leaned lightly into Alice as they crossed the room. “The two of you work miracles, darling girl,” she whispered. “He’s my thoughtful son again.”
A thoughtful husband again, too. Small steps, though. Henry needed to feel safe, the same way he so often made her and Jay feel safe. “I’m sorry we didn’t come up sooner.”
The nurse confirmed Mother’s name and ushered them down another vaguely antiseptic hallway.
Mother patted Alice’s arm. “And I wish I had convinced him to send for you sooner. But we mustn’t allow these heartaches to tie us irretrievably in the past. We have so much yet to anticipate and marvel at.” Her bright smile lifted years from her face. “Someday soon, these two weeks will be a mere pebble alongside the mountains of joy the three of you accumulate in your lives together. Regret will not serve you well; it poisons joy, drains the color from it so even the happiest thoughts bring only a bleak sorrow. Steer well away from it.”
“Sound advice.” If only her father had been willing to hear it. How Henry’s sweet mother could have ever attempted to take her own life when Dad couldn’t even do them the kindness—
Alice gagged. She jammed the back of her hand against her mouth. I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t.
“Alice?” Mother stopped beside her, running soothing fingers along Alice’s arm. “Are you ill?”
The bile receded, leaving a bitter sting in her throat. “Just—” Her voice rasped. “Just tasting some of those regrets.”