Secret Pucking Unicorn

10. Miranda

I realize I’m defensive.But when you’re told you’re a liar most of your childhood, when you can’t trust your own memories…

I offer Stone a weak smile. “It’s all right. Sorry for being defensive.”

“No worries,” he replies, offering me a smile. Maybe not as friendly as it was before. Crap. Have I ruined our burgeoning friendship with my prickliness?

I know my parents aren’t perfect. They’re busy with their practice and are in demand all over the world because they are experts at what they do. What they do is important. They keep the beautiful horses they treat healthy and safe. It’s not like they were abusive or anything. Many kids have it worse than I did. Do I wish they had more time for me? Yeah, I did when I was younger. I want to have a closer relationship with them. That’s part of the reason I’m back in New Jersey. But going to different schools every year, sometimes every term, helped me to be independent and resourceful. Classmates of mine couldn’t handle the basics of life like booking an airline ticket or finding a job house-sitting for a professor at the local university over the holidays when the dorms would be closed at my boarding school. It worked out great. They got back the day before the dorms reopened. At most I would have to pay for one night at a hotel. If my parents had me spend the holidays with them every year, I wouldn’t have learned I could do that.

Note to self: don’t talk about your childhood. I know this and normally deflect questions, but I wasn’t thinking. Ironically, it’s probably because I need to sleep that I wasn’t more guarded. Is ironic the right word? Whatever.

The flight attendant who has her eye on Declan brought me a lovely cup of tea. I shouldn’t want to throat punch her. But who can blame me? Dec is gorgeous and kind. And not mine.

Everyone has earbuds in, their laptops out, or they’re kicked back and napping. Getting my tablet out of my bag, I call up the local real estate listings. I can’t live with Carter forever. I want my own home. I’ve been doing research and there are grants for first-time homebuyers I will apply for. I would be okay buying a fixer-upper with good bones but needs work. I need a functional kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom—everything else can be dealt with over time as long as the roof, plumbing, and electrical are good. I’m excited to have a project and something I can put my mark on and have control over. I haven’t had that before in my life and I’m ready to be in charge of my own future.

“You looking at real estate already?” Brick asks.

I flush. Brick is being friendly, but I don’t want my business out there.

Stone pops up over his seat again. I resist the urge to hug my tablet to my chest. I don’t want my dream to be laughed at.

“Mac is looking too. If you’re looking for a place together, I can swap seats with you to make it easier to compare.”

He is such a sweet man, but I wish he’d shut up and sit down.

“Wait, you’re both looking for places?” Carter asks, hurt in his voice. “What are you looking for? What’s wrong with the barn? Stone, switch with Randi.”

Suppressing a sigh, I get up and switch. Dealing with Carter in a mood is not on today’s agenda. Dec is standing to let Stone out and let me in. He grabs my tea for me and puts it on the table.

“So, what’s going on? Are you guys moving out? When did you plan this?”

Dec and I turn to each other. He raises a dark brow, and I shrug.

“We haven’t,” he says. “After hockey, I want a horse farm. I’m always looking to see if there are properties for sale.”

“In Ireland?” I ask. That was always the plan.

“Sometimes. I’m looking in New Jersey too. What are you looking for?”

He’s looking for a farm here? Would he be willing to stay here after he’s done playing? Would he be willing to stay here with me?

I show him my tablet.

“I’m looking at fixer-uppers with a good size yard. I want to plant flowers and maybe get a dog. I’ve always wanted a dog.”

“When are you planning on moving?” Carter asks.

I laugh. “Not anytime soon. I need to save up for a down payment and work for more than a week to qualify for a mortgage. This is a pipe dream. I’ve always looked at houses and saved pictures since I was a teenager. It’s my hobby.”

“Same,” Dec says, nodding. Our eyes connect and a zing of awareness runs through me. For a moment I fantasize about us being a couple and looking for homes together and planning for our future. But a fantasy is all it is. I need to remember that.

Stone pops up again. I swear the man has a spring in his ass like a jack in the box.

“You guys could pool your resources and buy a property together. It sounds like you want similar things.”

Bedard, bless his heart, changes the subject by talking about the team we’re playing tomorrow night. The rest of the flight is spent discussing the Sasquatch and their strengths and weaknesses.

After we land and get to the hotel, Daphne and I hand out the room keys. I am rooming with Brick. Dec and Stone are in the room next to ours.

Looking around our room after we hand out all the keys, I see there is a connecting door to the guys’ room. I startle when there is a knock on it. I open it to find a grinning Stone standing there.

“Hey neighbor, this feels like home, huh?” he asks.

“I don’t have to share a bathroom here,” I say as I step back to let him in.

“There’s no getting rid of you, is there?” Brick says with a sigh when she sees her brother.

“Nope. Mom wouldn’t let me leave you in the woods.”

My lips quirk. I wish I had something like this in my life. When I was a kid with the Mackenzies, I kind of had it, but with so many of them there were plenty of targets for their teasing and I usually faded into the background. By the time I thought of a zinger, the moment had passed.

Declan comes to the door and peeks his head in. “Their room is like ours and like the rooms we stay in whenever we stay at one of these hotels. They’re part of the Clardmore chain, and we get a deal.”

“Using your family connections to ingratiate you with the team?” I tease.

“Need to work with what I have.” He winks at me.

I saw him in the bathroom without his shirt on. He’s working with a lot.

Both of his black brows rise and a slow smile spreads across his full lips like he read my thoughts. My flaming cheeks are probably a dead giveaway.

“We’re going downstairs for dinner. Do you want to join us?” Dec asks.

I look at Brick. I don’t know what is normal for road trips. She’s the athlete and I don’t want to disturb her routine.

“Sounds good. It’s too cold to go somewhere outside.”

We lock our rooms and take the elevator downstairs. It’s the four of us in the elevator, but Declan is at my side. He’s so close enough I can feel his body heat. I wish I could snuggle into him and steal some of his warmth. Except for when I snuggled under the flannel sheets Dec loaned me, I’ve been cold ever since I arrived in New Jersey.

The elevator doors open, and Dec’s hand lightly touches my back as he motions for me to exit before him. His touch sizzles up my spine and to my scalp. I glance in the mirror as we pass to see if my hair is standing on end from the electricity. Amazingly, it’s not.

We cross the lobby to the steakhouse, and I worry about being underdressed. Then I realize I’m walking in with three professional athletes who are guests of the hotel, one whose family owns the whole chain. I guess I’m good in my slacks and sweater.

The hostess greets us warmly and asks if we want to be seated near the rest of the team. We agree and get a table near the dozen players and staff already here. Liam is with Logan, Daphne, and Bedard.

“What’s our per diem?” I whisper to Brick. I don’t know why I bothered. I’m around shifters who all have superior hearing.

“No per diem, get what you want, Randi,” Coach calls out. “Well, for food, get what you want. We cover one alcoholic drink. If you want more than that, it’s on you.”

“Thanks,” I say with a smile. My cheeks are flaming. Is everyone looking at me and thinking I’m a loser for worrying about the cost? It’s not that I can’t afford to eat. I don’t want to put a foot wrong and get in trouble.

“You’re fine,” Dec murmurs.

The guys get ribeye steaks, and Brick gets grilled salmon. I choose a turkey melt. None of us get alcohol.

“You don’t like steak?” Stone asks.

“I do. But I don’t want something too heavy. I want dessert.”

“Peanut butter pie or the brownie sundae?” Dec asks. Of course, he knows my favorites.

“Not sure.”

“You get the pie. I’ll get the brownie and have them hold the almonds. We’ll share,” Dec says.

It’s silly to get misty he remembers I don’t like almonds, but I’m touched. That’s why Declan is wonderful. He notices the little things and remembers them.

The conversation over dinner is about tomorrow night’s game against the Spokane Sasquatch and their wing, Oliver King. He’s a Bigfoot shifter, so of course he’s been tapped to be the face of the team. I watched some game highlights and he’s a skilled player, but isn’t comfortable in front of the camera, judging from the interviews I’ve seen.

Brick and Stone leave while Dec and I are sharing our desserts. The peanut butter pie is incredible.

“Do all the Clardmore hotels have this on their dessert menu?” I ask. If they do, I’ll be gaining a couple of pounds each road trip.

Dec shakes his head. “I don’t think so. Each hotel has its own special restaurant, and the menu is up to the chef.”

“Oh.” I try to mask my disappointment. It’s a pie, nothing important, but it would be nice to have something to look forward to in each town. Something to rely on. I’ve always lived such a nomadic life I always search for a person or a thing or even a food to be familiar with and be able to count on it. I never find it and I’ve learned to rely on myself, but it would be nice to have a tradition.

As if he reads my mind, Declan puts his hand on mine and gives it a gentle squeeze.

“Every time we play in Spokane, we will come here and get pie. Even if we aren’t staying here. Me and you. Okay?”

I try to swallow the lump forming in my throat. How can this man effortlessly know what I need and give it to me? My own parents are too busy to do that, but it comes naturally to Declan.

I nod and let out a croaky, “Yeah.”

He gives my hand another squeeze and then takes a small bite of my pie. He is the perfect person to share pie with because the end crust is my least favorite part, but he loves it. Ever since we were little kids, we shared pie like this. His siblings thought we were weird, but it worked for us and that’s what mattered. I reach over and get a bite of the brownie sundae. I’m glad we’re sharing.

“You’re the only person I’ve ever shared food with,” I say. Way to be random, Miranda.

Dec cocks his head. “What do you mean? You had breakfast with us this morning.”

“It’s been years, I think since graduation, I’ve shared food with someone. Of course, I’ve eaten meals with people, had pizza, but eating the same portion and sharing is something I never do. You’re it.”

I watch as he puts his bite of pie crust between his lips and drags the fork out of his mouth. There’s a bit of peanut butter filling on his upper lip and I’d give my left kidney to kiss it off. His blue eyes are contemplative as he chews.

“You’re the only person I share food with, too. I never thought about it. I guess it’s our thing.”

A warm glow spreads in my chest at the thought of having a “thing” with anyone, but especially with Declan. We finish our desserts and go back upstairs. Some of the team members bring gaming systems and players hang out in the rooms and have game nights. From the little I’ve seen, it seems like the Devil Birds are a cohesive unit. No wonder they have a winning record and are one of the top teams in the Paranormal Hockey League.

“You must be exhausted,” Dec says as we walk into my suite. The connecting door is still open and from the collection of players gathered in there, his suite must be one of the game rooms.

I shrug. “My body clock is all messed up. I slept well last night. I’ll probably get a few hours tonight, but most likely I’ll watch TV for hours before I doze off. I’m used to functioning on not much sleep while I’m traveling and then crashing when I get back to wherever I call home that month.”

“Would you mind some company?” Dec asks.

“That would be great. I’m going to change into something more comfortable. Be right back.”

I go into my room and change into a pair of knit shorts and my favorite t-shirt to sleep in. When I glance in the mirror as I’m putting my hair into a loose braid, I remember it’s one of Dec’s shirts from Cornell. The high school I graduated from and Cornell both share the “Big Red” slogan for athletics, so we swapped shirts on Christmas a few years ago as a joke. He probably never wore his. He’s much broader and more muscular now, it probably wouldn’t fit. But I wear the one he gave me all the time. It’s soft and faded with time and washing and the hem has come out in spots, but I love it. I debate if I should change, but decide to stay as I am. He’s probably not even going to notice.

Entering my room, I debate whether to leave the door open or close it. Leaving it open seems like the best choice. I don’t want anyone to think there’s something going on. What’s the saying? People with nothing to hide, hide nothing? Dec has grabbed the extra pillows and blanket from the closet and is sitting on the bed with his back against the headboard. Handing him a bottle of water and chips, I walk around to the other side and climb onto the mattress.

I pull the blanket over me and hold it up as an invitation for Dec to get under it, too. The few times I could visit him at Cornell, this is how we’d spend our time, snuggled under a blanket, looking at real estate listings for horse farms and daydreaming of the farm he’d have someday. Sometimes we’d watch superhero movies, and I’d call him Superman because of his resemblance to the actor playing the role. He’d blush and seem more like Clark Kent than the Man of Steel. But with all the muscles he’s packing now, it’s not a stretch to think he’s made of steel.

Since it’s the week between Christmas and New Year’s, the pickings are slim for programming. We end up watching some romantic Christmas movies. Well, Declan ends up watching them. Jet lag catches up to me and I drift off not long after the first one starts. I wake up a few hours later to the theme song for Murder, She Wrote. Dec is asleep, lying on his back with one hand resting on his chest. His long, black lashes kiss his cheeks, and he looks like the boy I remember from all those years ago. There’s a twinge around my heart. I slip out from under the blanket and use the bathroom. He’s still asleep when I reenter the room. I quietly shut the door to my bedroom and turn off the lights before sliding under the blanket and laying on my side with my back to Dec. I’m not sure I’ll be able to fall back asleep. I leave the TV on to watch a detective solve murders she probably committed and enjoy not being alone for once.

* * *

The sun is warm on my face as I sit here among the daisies and forget-me-nots. This is my favorite place in the world, a refuge when I need to get away. I love playing with the other kids, but sometimes it’s overwhelming. But I’m not a little kid any longer. I’m a woman. The black unicorn walking toward me across the field is not the colt I first met years ago. Now he’s a sleek stallion. Such a deep black he almost shines like a hematite stone. His silver horn gleams in the sun. I’ve missed him. I wish I could stay here with him forever, but I know I can’t. I try, but nothing ever works. He stops in front of me, as he always does. His brilliant blue eyes shine like sapphires. He’s like a living, breathing treasure chest, but he may as well be in a hole twenty feet deep because he’s always out of reach and I don’t have a map to get to him.

The annoyingly cheery chimes of the alarm I set on my phone go off and my unicorn is gone. Again. He’s always just out of reach. Groaning, I slap my hand around until I can grab my phone and hold it before my bleary eyes. Jabbing repeatedly, I finally hit stop and make it go quiet. I let my hand flop to the mattress as I try to gather the energy to get up and take a shower. I want to roll over and go back to sleep. Maybe I’ll dream of the unicorn again. It’s a dream I’ve had since childhood. Not every night, but at least a few times a year. I had it the first time as a ten-year-old girl in Ireland. The field of wildflowers was on the grounds of Declan’s home. There used to be a gazebo there, too. When Sophie insisted on playing wedding, her favorite game because she was the wedding planner and bossed everyone around, the gazebo is where Declan and I would stand as groom and bride while Sophie or one of their brothers performed the ceremony. I always had to be the bride since all the boys were Sophie’s brothers and Declan was always the groom because…I’m not sure why he was willing to pretend-marry me? He was the oldest? Whatever the reason, I’m glad he was the groom. He is the only person I ever wanted to marry. The sweet kiss he always gave me on the cheek made my heart flutter and my tummy flip. His brothers would have blown a raspberry or licked me or something else gross like that.

The ding of an incoming text has me holding my phone in front of my face. It’s a text from Dec. Not going to lie—it was much nicer waking in Declan’s arms yesterday morning in Spokane than waking to a text and a lonely bed in Colorado Springs, but it’s better than nothing.

Declan: Good morning. Were you going downstairs for breakfast or getting room service?

I have a stash of protein bars in my bag. I’ve learned to make sure I have stuff with me in case there isn’t other food available. I’m about to text him to tell him I’ll gobble up one of those, but my fingers hesitate above the screen. Rushing through breakfast feels like avoiding all those people downstairs, people I want to accept me, welcome me into their lives. It means I have to pretend to feel less for Declan than I do, but isn’t this why I’m here? To make friends, to make a life? Forgetting the granola bars, I type:

Me: Downstairs. See you soon.

The shower doesn’t wake me up as much as I need it to. Thank goodness we will be home for a bit after tomorrow. I am going to spend as much of it sleeping as I can. If I can clear up some of the sleep deficit I’m dealing with, it will be easier for me to hide my feelings for Declan.

Walking into the restaurant downstairs alone feels weird. It’s been a handful of days, but not having Declan by my side seems wrong. But Declan isn’t always going to be here. He’s going to go get his horse farm when he’s done playing hockey. My life is going to be here. Even when Declan is gone, I’m still going to have the friends I moved here to be near. New friends I’ve made. I can be without Declan and be fine. I have to be.

I take the seat next to Liam and say a general good morning to everyone at the table.

Liam gestures with his fork. “That carafe has hot water.”

In the middle of the table is a container with tea bags, I grab one and prepare a mug of tea.

“No shadow?” he asks.

“What?” I lower my tea bag into the hot water.

“Mac is usually trailing after you like a puppy dog. Or a guard dog. I’m surprised you’re alone.”

Shrugging, I pick up the menu. When the server comes to the table to deliver some plates, I order pancakes and ham.

“This is my fourth day with the team, and we are old friends. He’s being nice to me. Like Carter is. Like you are. I spend a lot of time with Daphne too.”

He lifts a brow. “Uh huh.”

I wonder if this is what it would be like to have an older brother? Dec was never a brother figure to me. His siblings were my playmates, but other than Sophie, I didn’t have much of a connection with them. They all had each other. I was quieter and more of a dreamer than they were and didn’t get involved in a lot of their adventures. I spent my time at the gazebo or in the stable with the horses and the barn cats. I’ve always had an easier time connecting with animals than with people. I don’t know if that transfers to shifters too or not. I didn’t know Dec and his siblings were wolf shifters when we were kids. Of course, Kendall is a cougar shifter like her brother, and we lived together during college, and Trevor is a wolf shifter and was my stunt partner for cheerleading, but neither of them ever shifted in front of me or talked about shifting. I’ve been isolated from it.

“Randi, have you been to Colorado Springs before?” Daphne asks from her seat at the end of the table.

“No, first time here,” I say.

“Then you’re coming with me and Logan this afternoon. We’re recording a mini tour at Garden of the Gods, and you have to see it.”

“Isn’t it too cold for flowers?” Lindy asks. He’s adorable.

“It’s not flowers,” Logan says. “It’s incredible red rock formations. Awe-inspiring. Like nothing I’ve ever seen.”

Daphne smiles brightly. “You must come with us if you aren’t napping before the game. It will be a few hours and back in plenty of time. Morgan Development has hired us a mini coach. We have eighteen seats.” She looks around the table. “You all are welcome. If there are over eighteen, I’ll upgrade to a regular coach.”

“That sounds wonderful, Daphne, thank you,” I say.

I was going to hang out and watch more game videos, but it’s not like anyone is going to ask my opinion on a play anyway. May as well see something awe-inspiring in person. I am on the verge of breathing a sigh of relief for having avoided Declan when suddenly he’s pulling out the chair next to mine.

“Good morning, Dec,” I say, smiling up at him. “I’m sorry to miss you. I recommend the pancakes, they were delicious.” I was this close to making my escape. I can’t resist him if I keep seeing him. I’m not strong enough. Rising from my chair, I say, “Daphne, I’ll meet you down here in an hour.”

Declan says a general good morning but follows me out of the restaurant without taking his seat. I stick with a group from the team and get on the elevator to take us to our floor. I’m in the corner with Dec beside me. Heat radiates off his body, and I want to snuggle in. I’m slowly getting used to being in the cold again and I know I’ll handle it better once I’m rested. But for today, I want to snuggle and be warm. We will be back in New Jersey tomorrow, and I will sleep all day. Under Declan’s flannel sheets.

Dec is at my side as we walk down the hallway. He lays a hand lightly on my arm.

“Miranda, are you upset with me about something?”

My steps falter as my head snaps his way. “No. Why?”

He shrugs and releases my arm. I miss the heat from his hand immediately.

“It feels like you’re avoiding me. You went to breakfast without me.” He runs his hand through his black hair and a lock falls over his brow. My fingers itch to push it back. “I sound like a petulant child. I’m sorry.”

It’s my turn to rest a hand on his arm. We can’t have this conversation in the middle of the hallway.

“Come on, let’s go to my room where we can talk.” I grab his hand and pull him along behind me. I swipe my card and push the door open when the light turns green and I hear the beep. We are alone in the suite, but I go into my bedroom and close the door anyway.

I pace and Dec leans against the dresser with his arms crossed over his broad chest.

“I’m not upset with you. You’re wonderful. That’s the problem.” I sneak a glance at him as I turn at the window and start back across the room. It’s not a big room. Five or six strides is all I can take. “I can’t monopolize your time. You need to focus on playing and being with your teammates, not on babysitting me.”

He scoffs and straightens but doesn’t uncross his arms. “I’m not babysitting you. I haven’t seen you in a year and a half. I’ve missed you. I want to spend time with you.”

My heart does a flip at his words. I’ve always wanted someone to want to spend time with me. But we must focus. I need to focus.

“I want to spend time with you too,” I admit. “But my focus needs to be on my job. I need this. I want to stay here. I can’t risk getting fired because we are hanging out too much. I want to be able to use my sports management degree and get a front office position with the team. And you need to focus on hockey to make money for your farm. That’s why you’re playing, right?”

“Yeah,” he says, crossing the room in two strides and stopping in front of me. “You’re not going anywhere. Even if you decide to leave this job, you don’t have to leave New Jersey.”

He doesn’t say, you don’t have to leave me. That’s what I long to hear, or he won’t leave me would be nice too. But no one ever tells me those things. Everyone leaves or sends me away. I want stability. I want to be with people I care about. I want to have a home of my own where no one can make me leave.

“Right,” I say. Not because I believe him, but because I want to change the subject.

His brows furrow and he sucks in his lips. It’s his thinking face. He did it as a boy, too.

“What?” I ask.

“Can I make a suggestion without you getting mad at me?”

My eyes narrow. “It depends.”

“Skip the tour today and get some sleep?”

Before I have the chance to say anything, Declan reaches out and grabs my hand, cradling it in his. “Miranda, you’re exhausted. You’ve been traveling across tons of time zones, working, and then not sleeping on the plane.”

He runs a calloused fingertip lightly along the top of my cheek.

“You have shadows under these beautiful eyes, and I worry you’re going to make yourself sick. Stay here. Grab a few more hours of sleep. We will be back here at least two more times this season and I promise to take you to Garden of the Gods or anywhere else you want on those trips.”

This man. I can’t remember the last time someone took care of me, told me to slow down. Blinking quickly so the tears springing to my eyes don’t fall, I nod.

“Are you going?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “No, my plan was to stay here, look at farm listings, rest.” A slight flush colors his cheeks. “Here in the hotel. I didn’t mean stay in your room.” His flush deepens. “Unless you want me to.”

I can’t suppress my smile. He’s too cute when he’s embarrassed. “I know what you meant. We can hang out together. Here or in your room. Whatever you want.”

“Let’s go to my room then. Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m good. I have my phone and my key. That’s all I need. I need to change before the game, but otherwise I’m done. Let me tell Daphne I’m staying here.”

I take a moment and shoot her a text. She responds with a thumbs up.

“If you’re all packed up, bring your bag with you. You can change there as easily as you can change here,” he says.

That sounds logical. I do a quick check of the bathroom and the drawers to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything and go to grab my bags, but Dec already has them over his shoulder.

“All set?”

I nod and follow him out of my suite and down to his.

Liam and Brick are there when we walk in. I didn’t think about his suite mates because I didn’t see mine. I know they are Annie and Carter, but it’s felt like I’ve had the place to myself the whole time.

“Hey Randi,” Liam says when we walk in. He jerks his head toward my bags Dec is carrying. “Moving in?”

Wishing the floor would open and let me fall through, I smile weakly. Before I can say anything, Dec interjects.

“We were going to hang out and rest before the game instead of going on the tour.”

“Good plan,” Liam says. “You’re sharing with Carter, right?”

I nod.

“He is the noisiest dude I know. I don’t know how you people live with him.”

Shrugging, I grin.

“Liam, I’ve known him longer than any of you have. I’ve shared hotel rooms with him. Heck, we’ve shared a bed sometimes when we traveled for games or competitions.” I ignore the way Dec’s head whips around to me. “I’m used to his noise. I can tune it out.”

Brick narrows her eyes. “Have you and Carter dated?”

Oh goodness, she thinks I’m working my way through her teammates.

“Nooooo. We know each other too well to date. He’s like a brother to me.” My ew face probably says it all.

“Like Mac?” she asks.

That brings me up short. I turn to Declan to find his blue eyes intent on me. I swear he is holding his breath, waiting for my response.

“No, nothing like Declan. I’ve never had brotherly feelings for Dec.” Turning back around, I close my eyes in humiliation. Why did I get all chatty now? I’ve spent years hiding my feelings and suddenly I’m an open book. Yeah, part of my plan is to share more, but there’s sharing and then there’s oversharing.

The breath he exhales tickles the hair on my neck and I shiver.

Brick’s eyes widen. “Right, well, okay. You guys have fun. Come on, Coach, let’s get downstairs for the tour.”

Coach’s head whips around to Brick. “What? I’m not going. I have work to do.”

Why can’t the floor open up and let me drop through?

“We’re hanging out,” Declan says. “I’m reading the new S.B. Hardin mystery. Or goofing on the internet.”

I wonder if this is what it would have been like dating as a teenager with parents around? Having to explain what we were doing and assuring them we weren’t doing anything fun. When Dec showed up to take me to my prom, the school had a whole red carpet live stream to enable friends and family to see us since it was a boarding school and most of us didn’t have family there to snap pictures and give curfews. My parents didn’t care. They had a big race happening in Baltimore the following week and their focus was completely on the horses under their care. Declan’s family stayed up late to watch since they were five hours ahead. His mother texted and gushed how beautiful I looked and hoped we had a wonderful time. The Muffys, Buffys, and Biffs who ignored me for the two years I lived with them took notice when I showed up with Declan. He was gorgeous in his tux with his swoon-worthy accent, Cornell education, and family connections. He was polite, but he made it known he was there for me. I was the focus of his attention. That’s when I knew I was falling in love with him. The six years since then haven’t changed my feelings, no matter how hopeless they are.

“It’s fine,” I say. “Was there anything you wanted to go over together before tonight’s game?”

“No, you look like you need rest, Randi,” Coach says. “All I’m doing is reading some of the scouting reports for our affiliate team, the Demon Geese. See if we have any right wingers who will work. That’s our weakest position.”

Coach sets up shop at the table in the common area of the suite, and I take a seat on the sofa. I fire up my laptop and navigate to house listings. Declan takes the seat next to me and opens his iPad to read his book. Glancing over, I gasp.

“You wear glasses? Since when?”

OMG. This brings the Superman fantasy to a whole other level. Now it’s like he’s cosplaying Clark Kent with the square jaw, bright blue eyes, black hair, and black-framed glasses. I’m here for it.

“Only when I’m reading on a screen. Cuts down on the glare. I don’t need them for magnification or anything like that. They are for comfort. I have perfect eyesight.”

Of course he does. Goes along with every other perfect thing about him. If his eyesight truly was perfect, he’d see me as a woman and how wonderful we could be together. But when I said I’d never seen him in a brotherly way, out loud to my mortification, he didn’t even respond. Not a word, not a blink. Clearly, he doesn’t feel the same way. I’ve been sister-zoned. We could live our childhood dream of having horses and a farm. I could have my dream of having him. But I’m old enough to know dreams don’t come true. I have to plan my life based on reality.