17. Emily
Imoaned as Travis jerked inside of me, my toes curling in my shoes. I couldn’t believe that I was having sex with Travis again. But another part of me couldn’t believe I’d been able to stay away from him this long.
Every time I slept with him, I thought back on my hatred of his family and hoped that that time would be the last. Yet every time I was alone with him I crumpled instantly. Now here I was with my legs around his butt as he moved inside of me.
I could justify our rendezvous as being about my mission. After he had caught me at the server room, I feared the worst. And I beat myself up for not having taken enough precautions. I could still feel his suspicion even as he thrust into me, even though he did not utter a word of it.
I tried to tell myself that that was not exciting. That this whole thing was not exciting, this element of danger wrapped in something else.
Something else. A feeling of genuine warmth for the man. A feeling of warmth I very, very much did not want to be there.
Yet I couldn’t wish it away.
I had been hoping that he would simply let me walk out of the company and go on my way. Then I could have run instead of getting close to him again. But he’d offered me a ride. Everything in me had screamed at me to refuse his offer, but I worried that that would only make me seem more guilty so I had been forced to accept.
I had seduced him tonight for my own safety. For the safety of the investigation. For the greater good. I told myself that.
I didn’t believe it.
I sure as hell wasn’t acting now as I writhed and moaned in his back seat. The truth was, I had never faked it with him. Not since we met. I loved his attention. I loved his sex.
If only he was not the man he was… maybe we would have been able to make something work. But I knew that even now my purse held the evidence of his crimes on a tiny flash drive. And when I read those files, there would be no denying the truth. None of these feelings would matter.
I was surprised by how guilty I felt for my betrayal. As he kissed me earnestly, I hated the thought of hurting him.
I tried to shrug off this feeling, choosing to focus instead on his body wrapped around mine and the pleasure it elicited from me.
I unwrapped my hands from his back, moving them to his butt as I widened my legs to welcome him deeper inside me. I groaned when latched onto my neck, kissing and suckling at it, sending more pleasure wracking through my body as I struggled to keep my eyes open.
I looked at him in confusion when he pulled away from me, but he turned me to my side and laid beside me, entering me from behind. My eyes widened as his cock bulged inside me, massaging every corner of my core.
“Oh.”
I lifted my leg, wrapping it behind him to give him better range and movement as I enjoyed every part of his ministrations.
I moved with him, my hips grinding into him just as his fingers found my clit. Pleasure shot through me as he twirled his finger around the swollen nub and I felt the beginnings of my orgasm.
“Travis…” I moaned out as my eyes closed from the blinding pleasure that threatened to overtake me.
“Yes… take all you need,” he replied behind me, quickening his pace. My hand tightened around his thigh as he moved. He palmed my breasts, his hands fondling my nipples just as I released.
I tensed as the pleasure crashed over me like waves, submerging my mind and body. He continued to pound into my sensitive center. My body shook as unbridled tore through me and I heard him let out a loud groan. His hands tightened around me as he shot up into me.
We lay there for a moment as we struggled to catch our breath and then he let out a sigh as he slipped out of me before he sat up, running his hand down his face. He gave me a light peck on the lips before zipping up his pants and looking out the window.
I studied him from where I remained lying on the seat, watching him as reality came crashing back and panic filled me.
There was no way he wasn’t suspicious of me after tonight. No way.
His expression was stoic and I tried to catch his eye, but he stared stubbornly out of the window.
Was that all this was? Was he using me for sex before prosecuting me for breaking and entering, or worse?…had I wanted it to be more than that? Did I actually want my relationship with Travis Ross to mean something?
…relationship? We didn’t have a relationship. Did I want us to have a relationship?
So many feelings ran through me as I tried to analyze my reactions, and his. I felt strange and stupid.
I willed him to talk to me, smile like he usually did or speak and reassure me that he had at least fallen for my innocent act, but that didn’t happen. Instead, awkwardness descended upon us and I felt even worse. I was embarrassed. I felt na?ve and used.
I sat up as brusquely as I could, and buttoned my shirt back up before dragging my skirt down.
Suddenly it felt too embarrassing to put on my panties in front of him so I grabbed it and my discarded bra and folded them on my lap as I waited for the driver to arrive at my destination.
I wanted to regret this. I wanted to wish I had rejected his offer of a ride. But I couldn’t. And that was what worried me most of all.
He would find out what I’d done. There was no way he wouldn’t investigate further, and then he’d know. Maybe even know that our first one-night stand had been a ruse, that every time we’d been together, I was tricking him so I could ruin him.
Why did I hate that thought so much? Because I’d be prosecuted, of course. Probably imprisoned. Even in the name of journalistic integrity, what I had done was against the law. Or maybe I’d even disappear, like some of his father’s critics had.
Why was that not what bothered me? What I was feeling now wasn’t survival fear. It was a kind of regret I couldn’t name. Maybe I was not brave enough to name it.
I waited for Travis to say, but nothing came out of his mouth. It was as though he had gotten lodged in his own head and had forgotten that I even existed.
I squeezed my purse and felt for the flash drive. Its contents was the only thing that could make up for the feelings that were running through me. Maybe even my heart could be an acceptable casualty in the pursuit of truth and justice.
How in God’s name did that bastard get my heart?
This would be over soon. I had what I needed. The data was the last step for me, and soon the truth would be out.
The car rolled to a stop and I stared in confusion before realizing that Travis was looking at me. I looked outside to see that we were at the train station that led to my destination.
“You said this was where I should drop you off. Goodnight,” he said.
I raised my brows at him.
Really?! He was definitely onto me. I should have been afraid, but in a strange way I was relieved. This way it would hurt less when he learned the full truth.
I stared at him for longer than I should have, memorizing his face. I knew I should be relieved that instead of making known his suspicions, he had chosen to drop me off without any questions, but I wasn’t. With horror I realized that I wanted to talk it out with him. To talk about what was between us.
Nothing is between us. Nothing ever has been, except deception.
“What is wrong with you?” the words left my mouth before I realized it making my decision for me.
“What do you mean?” He raised his brows at me, his face still a stoic mask that refused to give me any insight into what I was heading into with my questioning.
I hadn’t felt so much turmoil over anyone in such a long time and it was crazy to me that Travis was the reason for it.
“Why are you talking to me like that after what just happened?” I asked, refusing to let it go.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Miss Skye. I think you should leave.”
It was everything I could do to stay my hands on my lap. My chest hurt from his words. It felt like there was a crack in my heart and it was spilling into every other organ in my body.
What was happening? How was this happening? His actions weren’t shocking. They were consistent with the image I’d had of him all my life. It was my own reactions that were shocking. Shouldn’t I be happy that I did not have to be the one to end the thing we had?
At least now I didn’t have to feel guilty about anything. If he was this much of a bastard, he didn’t deserve my guilt. So why was I trying to talk things through with him? I’d stolen from his company. I was in danger every moment I was with him.
So why the hell didn’t I just get out and leave?
I got out of the car angrily and slammed the door. I took a step back and waited for him to come after me but I was left in shock when the car zoomed off.
I won. I got what I wanted out of the situation. So why did I feel like the scum of the earth? Why was my heart hurting this way? Why did I feel like running after him to tell him the truth about everything? Why did it feel like I had lost?
Upset, I tossed my lingerie into the purse and went straight to Michael’s house. It was time to be done with this. I knocked on the door impatiently, glad when Michael opened the door almost immediately.
I took him in. He was in his sleepwear but it looked as if he had not gotten any sleep. His eyes were red and tired, but I was certain that he had planned to stay awake for as long as he could manage. Not that I was surprised. It was as if he never went to sleep.
“Whoa, hey! Do you know it’s 2am?” he asked, opening the door wider to let me in. I walked in without saying a word, still stung by what had happened with Travis. I tried to compose myself before saying anything so he would not detect anything from my tone.
“Yes. I wanted to make sure that you got this immediately,” I said finally.
“Okay… you could have done this tomorrow though?” he said, looking at me questioningly when I shook my head at him.
“No. I want to find out all the dirty secrets Travis Ross and his brothers are hiding right now,” I told him, my tone leaving no room for debate.
There was also the part left unsaid. I needed to find out what it was the Ross Brothers were up to and hiding so that I could put an end to my heartbreak.
When I found out what Travis had been doing with Ross Industries, I’d hate him again. I was sure of it.