22. Emily
”What do you mean?” I asked, tears weighing down my gaze. “Don’t say you love me, Travis. Don’t. You don’t mean it, and you know that.”
He pulled me closer and kissed me softly on the lips. “I love you, Emily. I’ve known for a while now. I mean it.”
“You don’t!” I tried to pull away from him, but he held me firmly in his arms.
“I do, Emily. I do. I love you.” Travis drew me in for another kiss and I melted into his embrace.
Love. Love was fickle and unpredictable. I’d seen what happened to my parents. A person could change on a whim. I couldn’t trust such feelings. Even if they were working in my favor now, Travis’s feelings could change at any time. This wasn’t safe.
So why did it feel so safe? Why did it feel so wonderful?
I should have been on my way to prison. My house should have been surrounded by police and reporters. I should be made to pay for what I had done. Instead, I was getting kissed and hugged so tenderly, like I was the most precious thing in the world. My mind was at war with itself.
Worst of all, I wanted this. I had lived in denial for so long. Now that Travis had expressed his love for me, there was nothing to shield me from my love for him.
I remembered how jealous I had felt when I saw him with his ex. I had always known. But I hadn’t been able to admit it to myself.
Now that I had seen the whole truth of him, I couldn’t look away. He was blinding, dazzling. He pierced my frozen heart like a hot needle, melting me wherever he touched until my heart was alive and beating again. Until it beat for him. For the first time in my life, I felt like I could truly see.
I was done lying to myself. I was done pretending. I wanted Travis as much as he wanted me, and there was no better feeling in the world. Surrendering to the moment, I wrapped my arms around Travis” neck, deepening the kiss.
He seemed to notice the changes in my body language and he pulled me deeper into himself, as if to make us one.
“I love you, Emily,” Travis murmured again, with his lips pressed against mine. He palmed my butt softly, sending a thrill through me. I chuckled through my sobs, and he laughed as well.
He walked us backward toward the couch. I fumbled to unbutton Travis’ shirt as we went. His body felt so good against mine. The last time we’d made love, I had left feeling used and neglected. A small part of my mind remembered how painful the experience had been, but I pushed the thought out, choosing to focus on the moment.
Travis broke off the kiss to get my shirt over the top of my head, then locked his lips with mine again. I undid the last button on his shirt and tore it off of him, discarding it on the floor. He settled me carefully on the couch and got on top of me, leaning slightly so as not to put his whole weight on me.
His kiss was gentle and delicate. Unhurried, as if we had all the time in the world. In that moment, it looked to me like we did. His hand slid up my bare body, working its way from my stomach up to my breasts. He cupped one delicately, fondling the nipple gently.
I felt a rush of heat and pulled him closer into me. I loved the way he shuddered as we kissed.
“I love you,” Travis repeated, breaking the kiss. He couldn’t seem to stop saying it. It felt surreal to hear someone repeat those words to me. It was even scarier for me because I believed him. I believed him completely.
Travis kissed my forehead, my cheeks and my tears. When we kissed again, I tasted my tears on him. Mixed with the mint on his breath, it gave me a heady sensation as my tongue explored inside his mouth.
He was hard, and the pressure of his shaft against my thigh filled me with beautiful memories of our time together. Travis slid down the couch towards my legs, then looked up at me with an impish smile. He unbuttoned my pants, then pulled them off of me as gently as he could.
I caught a glimpse of his eyes in the light and felt terrified by the intensity there as he looked between my thighs. He parted my legs with one hand, then brought his face slowly to my wetness. He rubbed his nose along the entrance, teasing me.
I shuddered in anticipation as he probed me with his face, waiting for the sweetness of his touch. Pleasure shot through me as he finally ran his tongue up my slit, finishing right on my sensitive nub. I sighed deeply and relaxed on the couch.
Every time Travis and I were together, it felt like a new experience. He placed a hand on my inner thigh, pushing my leg further out of the way as he lapped at me slowly, my moans a perfect symphony.
I looked down at him with clouded eyes and saw him watching me intently as he ate me out. His dark eyes sent a jolt of electricity through me. He smiled and turned back to my wetness. His eyes took on a predatory look, and I felt in danger. The good sort.
My head rolled backwards as Travis picked up his pace. Helpless to resist, I pressed his face into me.
I jerked as he rested his lip on my sensitive nub, applying pressure to the spot without moving. My orgasm tore out of me with a scream, every muscle relaxing in its wake.
I caught one look at Travis’s face before I sagged on the couch. He had liquid dripping from his jaw, and his face was covered in perspiration. He also wore a look of pure self-satisfaction.
I felt drained after such a powerful orgasm, but I couldn’t leave Travis as he was. I needed his shaft in my mouth. My head swam as I sat up, steadying myself. Travis sat beside me, his head leaning back as his chest heaved up and down from his exertion.
I got on my knees with some effort and undid the buckle of his belt. Only then did he raise his head to look at me. He looked exhausted, and I felt impressed that he had worked that hard just to please me.
He grinned at me, then leaned back again, evidently pleased by my ministrations. He lifted his hips and I tugged down his pants and underwear in one quick motion.
His naked body was an unbelievable work of art, and no matter how many times I saw him like this, I always had the same reaction.
He was rock hard, a colorless liquid dripping from the tip of his shaft. I licked the tip slowly, then fastened my mouth on him. His grunt of satisfaction was music to my ears. I smiled and moved up and down his shaft slowly, lubricating him.
I cupped his sac and fondled it gently, smiling as his legs twitched in response. I ran my other hand up and down his slick hardness while sucking on the tip with my mouth. He moaned loudly and tried to push my head away, as though the sensations were too intense. I stayed in place, running my tongue across his tip.
I felt his entire body stiffen and tasted his salty cream as it hit the top of my throat. I fastened my mouth around his cock and massaged his shaft as he released with a shudder. He slumped back, spent..
I swallowed his cum without hesitation, my own lust growing again. Somehow, his cock was still hard. I got off my knees and climbed on top of him.
I slid his hard shaft into my wetness, embracing him effortlessly. I felt him spread me, my senses exploding with pleasure.
Travis gripped my hips tightly as another spasm tore through him. He groaned loudly and wrapped his arms around my hips as I started gyrating on top of him. He made guttural noises that sounded delicious to my ears, squeezing me in his grasp, reminding me of his strength.
I rocked back and forth, up and down, gyrating slowly and savoring the sensation of him inside me. I don’t know at what point I started to cry, but it felt good to let out years’ worth of pent-up emotions. I was finally happy.
“I love you, Emily,” Travis whispered raggedly, his face covered in sweat. He pulled me forward and kissed me deeply, thrusting deep inside me as he did so. He pinned me with his forearm, then drilled slowly into me from tip to hilt, over and over again.
I felt connected to him, as though we were one being. What we were sharing seemed to transcend anything physical. I saw constellations and bright lights as Travis pushed in and out of me with skilled efficiency.
I felt like I was flying, as though I could communicate with any gods who might exist. Travis became a god in my eyes, and me a goddess, our spirits joined in a plane beyond the physical.
Travis and I moved in synchrony, two pieces of the same body. I shut my eyes and let everything go. In that moment, there was only one truth I held on to. I loved Travis, and it was the most beautiful thing in the world.
“I love you, Travis,” the words tore themselves from my throat. “I always have,” I could feel Travis still throbbing inside me, his thrusts like a wild drumbeat.
He smiled down at me and kissed me on the forehead, and I felt complete.
He lifted me, wobbling slightly before steadying himself. The couch behind us was a complete mess. “Which way to your bedroom?” Travis asked softly and I pointed at my bedroom door. He nodded and walked towards the bedroom, with his throbbing cock still lodged inside me.