24. Robert
twenty-four
Robert
I watched through the window as Jeremy approached the building. He had told me he was with family today. Bastard!
I glanced at Delia, who stood stiffly beside me. She was pretending to focus on something across the room, but the way her shoulders were drawn tight gave her away.
She’d seen him, too. My best friend.
And her ex.
“Is he here for you?” I asked quietly, stepping closer to her and farther away from my daughter, trying to keep my voice steady and low.
She didn’t answer right away, her eyes still fixed on nothing. Finally, she shook her head. “No. He must’ve come with my brother.”
I watched as Jeremy entered the auditorium. He knew just how to get here since I’d started letting him teach his own classes here. And now every step he took felt like a challenge, even though I knew he didn’t see it that way. He couldn’t see it that way. He had no idea what was going on between Delia and me.
“Robert!” Jeremy’s voice was warm, his hand raising to wave at me.
I forced a smile, my jaw tightening as I reached out to shake his hand.
“Didn’t expect to see you here,” he said, as his gaze flicked briefly to Delia.
“Same,” I replied. “I thought you said you were with family?”
“Well, sure, Delia’s family is like mine,” came Jeremy’s easy answer. I caught the way his eyes lingered on Delia, the faint smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth.
Delia was still avoiding eye contact, her arms crossed over her chest like she was trying to shrink into herself.
“Delia,” Jeremy said, his voice softening, “are you ready to go?”
She nodded, barely glancing at him. “Yep.”
“Okay, I’ll be out in the car.”
The tension was unbearable. I knew I should play it cool, keep things civil, but the way he looked at her—like he still had some kind of claim—made my blood boil. Such strong feelings… or responses, were new to me.
Keep it cool, Robert!
“Have a good one,” I said, my tone clipped.
Jeremy gave Delia one last glance before heading toward the exit. She started to follow without looking at me, but I grabbed her hand and pulled her back to me. “What the hell was that?” I hissed at her.
She blinked, startled. “What was what?”
“You couldn’t even look at him,” my voice was low but sharp. “Why? Feeling guilty?”
Her eyes narrowed, but she didn’t respond right away.
“You’re still seeing him, aren’t you?” I pressed.
Her face flushed, anger sparking in her eyes. “So what if I am?”
Her response felt like someone grabbed ahold of my stomach and squeezed it in their fist.
“So you are. I knew it. Was this all just a ploy to get back to him? Go on then! Go get your man! But just remember how easy it was to convince him to leave.”
Delia ran her tongue over her bottom teeth, turning her head away from me in anger before whipping it around to face me again. “Robert, I’m not with him.”
“Then what are you doing here with him?” I demanded.
“I’m not with him!” she snapped. “He’s here because of my brother, not because of me.”
I shook my head, frustration boiling over. “You expect me to believe that? You expect me to believe there’s nothing going on when you can’t even look him in the eye?”
She crossed her arms, her jaw tightening. “I’m not with him, Robert.”
“Then why does it feel like you’re playing both sides?” The words came out harsher than I intended, but I couldn’t stop myself. “If you want to fool around with him and me at the same time, that’s not happening. I’m not going to fight for you, Delia. I’ve got enough shit to deal with without adding that to the list.”
Her mouth fell open, hurt flashing across her face. For a moment, she just stared at me. “You made it perfectly clear you won’t be fighting for me,” she said finally, her voice shaking. “You did a great job of pushing me away all on your own. You don’t need another man to be in the picture for that.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. I knew what she was referring to, but anger flashed in my chest that she was referring to it as me pushing her away. I wasn’t pushing her away! I had been worried about her safety!
A small voice in my head told me to be honest with myself, but I ignored it, saying to her, “I didn’t push you away, Delia. You decided to interpret the events that transpired that way.”
“The ‘events that transpired’? Who are you? You think I don’t know why you told me to leave that night?” she snapped, her jaw tight and her eyes small in anger. “You’re scared, Robert. You’re scared of getting close to anyone because you think you’ll screw it up. But don’t you dare take that out on me.”
Her words hit like a punch to the gut. I wanted to argue, to tell her she was wrong, but I couldn’t. Because she wasn’t.
She stepped closer, her voice dropping to a whisper. “You want me to be honest with you? Fine. I didn’t look Jeremy in the eye because I knew what kind of jealous mess you were. And it kills me that everything that’s happened to you has made you this way. But I’m not with him. I don’t want to be with him.”
I swallowed hard, my chest tightening.
“I’m done here,” she said, her voice cold.
I reached out instinctively, grabbing her wrist. “Delia—”
“Don’t,” she said, pulling free, “touch me. If you’re going to keep pushing me away, then let me go. But don’t accuse me of something I didn’t do just because you’re too afraid to deal with your own shit.”
She turned and walked away, leaving me standing there, speechless.
I wanted to follow her, to say something—anything—to fix the mess I’d just made. But I couldn’t move.
Because she was right.