forty-three
Delia
The flashing red and blue lights outside my window smeared across the walls like a chaotic watercolor. The muffled crackle of police radios echoed outside the front door, and the low murmur of voices felt like static in my ears.
“We’re in here!” I cried out, from the living room, trembling.
They filed in, and the next minutes were like a dream, something out of focus but sharp still, like handling a dull knife.
I tried to focus on the officer in front of me, but my mind felt like it was wading through molasses. “Miss Sturgess, can you repeat that? What time did Mr…?”
“Cross,” I said, blinking, surprised at myself.
“What time did Mr. Cross enter your home?”
I blinked, forcing myself to look up at the cop. “I…I don’t know exactly. Maybe ten minutes before Robert got here? I don’t know.” My voice sounded thin, shaky, like it belonged to someone else. “He was angry. He’s my practicum supervisor, and I used to work at his clinic. And… we used to date. He found out that I’d put in a request for a change of supervisor and that it was approved. He came to convince me to stay, and I…said no.”
Robert’s hand was on my back, making soothing circles. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jeremy slumped against the wall, his hands cuffed behind his back, his head hanging low. I couldn’t even look at him. I didn’t want to.
Robert’s face was hard, his jaw tight, and every muscle in his body looked coiled like a spring ready to snap. He hadn’t taken his eyes off me, not once, as if he were afraid I might disappear the second he looked away.
“And what time was that?” the officer prompted.
“I…” My words faltered, my heart suddenly pounding. I felt the warmth spreading between my legs, and when I looked down at my jeans, my stomach dropped.
Blood.
It wasn’t a lot yet, but it was there, dark, unmistakable, and seeping into the denim. My breath hitched, my vision blurring with panic as I looked up at Robert.
“What? What is it?” he asked me, his face alert suddenly.
“Robert,” I whispered, my voice shaking. “I’m bleeding.”
His expression shattered into something raw and feral. For a second, no one moved, the air thick and stifling. Then he barked, “She’s done answering questions. We’ll give a full statement later.”
He turned to me with a face of determination and held my cheeks. Tears wobbled in my eyes as a fear I’d never felt before, not even with Jeremy on top of me, entered my body. All this, and I might lose my baby. I was only three months pregnant. I hadn't even had my first ultrasound yet. I hadn't felt the baby kick yet. I might never get to experience the rest of this pregnancy. It was too much to take.
“I know, baby. I know,” Robert said, as if answering my thoughts, his voice softening just for me. “I’ve got you. I’m taking you to the hospital right now. Everything’s going to be okay.”
He started to scoop me into his arms, but one of the officers stepped in front of him. “We just need to finish taking her state—"
Robert shot him a glare so sharp it could’ve cut steel. “She’s pregnant, and she’s bleeding. I don’t care about the statement right now. I have to take care of her and my baby.”
The officer hesitated, clearly torn between protocol and the urgency of the situation, but then he nodded. “Okay. Hold on. Let me radio for an escort. You’ll get there faster that way.”
I clung to Robert, my head resting against his chest as he carried me outside. The cold night air hit me like a slap, but Robert’s warmth surrounded me. I could hear the steady thrum of his heartbeat, faster than normal but still steady. I focused on that sound, grounding myself in him.
“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered again, his voice rough as he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “You and the baby—you’re both going to be fine. I promise.”
The baby.
The words echoed in my mind like a lifeline and a curse all at once.
What if something happens to the baby? I didn’t let myself finish the thought.
A police officer pushed Jeremy roughly into the back of his cruiser and slapped the hood. “We’ll escort you straight there,” he said. “Lights and sirens the whole way.”
Robert helped me into our car, his hand immediately finding mine, and said, “Buckle up. We’re going fast.”
The car jolted forward, the wail of sirens ahead of us screaming through the quiet night. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block it all out—the lights, the noise, the fear clawing at my chest.
“Breathe, Delia,” Robert said softly, his voice steady in the chaos. “Just keep breathing. We’re almost there.”
“I’m so scared,” I choked out, my voice barely audible.
“I know,” he murmured, lifting my hand to his lips and pressing a kiss to my knuckles. “But you’re strong. Stronger than you know.”
His words wrapped around me like a shield, holding the fear at bay just enough for me to focus on the here and now. I opened my eyes, turning to look at him. In the dim glow of the cruiser’s interior lights, I could see the fear etched into his face, too, but he was holding it back, for me.
“Robert,” I whispered, my throat tight. “What if…”
“Don’t,” he said firmly, cutting me off before I could finish. “Don’t go there, Delia. You’re okay. The baby is okay. I’m not letting anything happen to you.”
I nodded weakly, tears still slipping down my face. He held my gaze, his green eyes fierce with determination.
I knew he had me, in a way no one had before – really, truly had me.