Chapter 38
Iyana
Who the fuck did Emmeric think he was?
It had already been three days since their fight during the run, but every time Iyana saw his stupid face, she was reminded how angry he made her. To insinuate she was jealous of him and Kaz was ludicrous. Never mind that she did feel jealous when she saw the two of them together. But it was just the bond. It had to be, because she loved Altair.
She loved Altair.
Didn’t she? Iyana looked forward to spending time with him, sleeping wrapped in his arms, and hearing him call her astalle or my star gave her a thrill. That was love, wasn’t it? Unfortunately, she had never experienced romantic love before and so she had nothing to compare this to. Loving him was a dangerous game, and she reminded herself this wouldn’t last forever. Even if he loved her back… He was immortal, and she was human. Eventually she would age, become bent and wrinkled, while Altair continued to appear the way he currently did. There was no way he would still desire her, still love her, when she was old. Aside from the age difference, once he had completed his task of defeating Uther, would he want to stay? Or would he return to the sky? These were all questions Iyana wanted answers to, and she had almost asked them a hundred times, but she feared the answers. So the thoughts stayed locked in her head, bouncing around during times of quiet, making her anxious and jittery.
Altair obviously recognized something was happening with her, but he only asked if she was alright. Iyana always said yes, of course, to have him drop the subject, and she hoped he couldn’t read her thoughts.
According to Zane and Altair, they would reach the ancient library by nightfall. Which was fantastic news because the snow consistently covered the ground now and only continued to deepen. It was snowy and windy more often than not, and Iyana was always cold, despite a warm cloak, her magic, and Altair’s magic. Plus, she was hopeful putting some proximity between herself and Emmeric would be helpful for them both. Reluctantly, she admitted she did actually need him around. Her magic was stronger when she pulled from him, but they hadn’t been training for the past few days because of their dumb fight, much to Altair’s chagrin. More than once, he lamented, ‘You’re acting like children.’ Iyana continued to hope Emmeric would realize he was in the wrong and apologize. She wasn’t going to hold her breath.
Their argument was affecting her psyche, causing strange things to happen. Every night she had dreams involving Emmeric, which were too realistic for her taste. She’d had the one dream before when they were lying on a hill watching the clouds go by, but these were of a completely different variety. They would start out innocently enough—the first night they were in a tavern laughing and drinking, the second they were riding on horseback, and then the third they were in the kitchen of a cute little cottage. They would quickly take a turn, either of them initiating a kiss that would turn into a frenzy. Clothes would be shed, and lips would move elsewhere. Before anything went too far, Emmeric would push her away and leave. They always left Iyana in a state of confusion, because during the dream, everything felt real. Normal, domestic, right. Until he left her standing there wanting. Then there was a soul-shattering, overwhelming sadness. When she awoke, she would roll over to Altair and drag him away from the others, needing to sear the dreams out of her brain. But the one on horseback…she wanted to try that one.
Iyana asked Altair to slow Pryn, to drop off the back from the others, saying she needed to ask him something. Waving the rest of the group forward, he did as she requested. Once the others were out of sight and earshot, Altair ran a hand down her arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake.
“What’s on your mind, my star?”
“Not much. I just wanted to try something.” Swinging her leg off to the side, she turned around in the saddle to face Altair. His arms held the reins on either side of her, keeping her steady in the strange new position.
“And what was it you wanted to try?” he asked, his voice low and golden eyes darkening.
Iyana smiled wickedly, gliding her hands up Altair’s chest to the back of his neck and played with his hair. He raised his brows. Closing the distance, Iyana kissed Altair gently, lips content to explore each other. Soon it was not enough, and she nipped his lower lip, eliciting a growl from the star. He pulled her flush to him with one arm, the other still steering Pryn. Iyana slung her legs on top of Altair’s, allowing her to sit fully in his lap. She ground her hips against the hardening length in his pants. Altair gripped her harder, trailing kisses to her ear and down her neck, sucking the sensitive flesh near her shoulder. Iyana moaned, tugging on Altair’s hair to bring him back to her mouth.
“Hold on tight, astalle.”
His arm found its way between them, Altair unlacing her trousers and dipping his hand down to where she wanted him the most. Iyana hissed at his icy fingers, while Altair groaned, finding her ready for him. He started with slow, lazy circles around her clit before dipping one finger into her. Pulling out, he inserted two fingers and continued the languorous strokes with his thumb. Iyana threw her head back in ecstasy, making sure her grip around his neck was tight enough that she wouldn’t fall off the horse. The methodical way he worked her body was her undoing, like he was a virtuoso playing his favored instrument. Warmth coiled within her, anticipating his next move. Altair curled his fingers at the exact right spot deep inside her while pushing on her most sensitive area, and pleasure exploded through her. Altair caught her cry with his mouth, ensuring the others wouldn’t overhear. With jerky movements, she reached towards his waistband, but he took a handful of her hair and yanked her head back. Gods, it was just the right amount of pain to feel amazing.
“Astalle, I would rather not need a new pair of pants for the rest of the journey today. And unless you want to bare your delicious ass to the cold to let me come in that tight pussy, then you need to stop.” Iyana pouted, torn between sex and the cold. In the end, the desire for warmth won out. But she still stroked his erection one last time, making him suck air in through his teeth. She smiled with smug satisfaction. Before she could swivel back around, Altair smacked her ass. Hard. She yelped at the sudden bite of pain, but he was already soothing it away.
“Rude,” she said.
He leaned into her ear. “That was for teasing me. Now be a good girl and turn around. You’re going to make this up to me later.”
Iyana bit her lower lip in anticipation, loving the way Altair’s gaze dipped to watch the motion. But she did as he commanded, turning back around. And to show she wouldn’t listen to everything he told her to do, she ground her ass into his still erect cock, laughing as she did so.
The closer they got to the mountains, the harder the wind blew, snow flurries flying into their faces, almost completely obscuring their vision. Iyana buried her nose in her cloak, trusting Altair to guide them. She understood why nobody ventured this way unless it was absolutely necessary. One of the nine hells was probably similar to a frozen wasteland tailored specifically to torment people, such as her, only accustomed to heat. The cold seeped down to her bones. True to their word, the group reached the library as the sun was setting. Darkness set in rapidly in this part of the world, especially with snow clouds blocking most of the sun’s rays.
“Look, astalle,” Altair said into her ear to be heard above the howling wind. There was awe laced through his voice. Iyana hadn’t realized anything could strike the star with awe.
Emerging from her temporary cocoon, Iyana’s first glimpse of the ancient library left her speechless. It was enormous. The impressive Aisa Mountains served as a backdrop to a single circular tower. She craned her neck up, up, up, and still was unable to see the top of the library hidden away in the clouds.
White stone blocks comprised the entire tower, with arched windows interspersed regularly throughout each level. As they encroached on the building, it was obvious it was in disrepair. The walls were crumbling, the glass windows were broken, and the external decorations and adornments had broken off, littering the entrance with various bits of stone—some flung out hundreds of yards away from the library itself. Briefly wondering what could cause such an extreme level of devastation, Iyana turned her attention to the stone fragments they wound through. Iyana picked out parts of statues depicting humans, animals, and mythical beasts of various sizes, a fair amount of the pieces measuring larger than the horses. One extremely large statue serpentined on the ground, covered in scales and ending in an open mouth full of sharp, wicked looking teeth—a dragon. For a moment, she wished they were real. Wouldn’t that be a sight—a giant, scaled serpent flying through the sky, breathing fire.
Stones littered the snowy floor, drifts piling on top until it was impossible to identify what they were depicting, up until the entryway steps. The doors to the library were plain wood, without ornaments, but they were at least fifteen feet tall and appeared to still be in good condition. As awe-inspiring as the actual library was, the two statues standing on either side of the doors were even more so. Identical women flanked the doors and were so large they made the grand doorway appear small. Sculpted from pure white marble, veils flowed over their serene faces. The craftsman who had carved these was masterful at capturing the waves and translucency of the fabric. On the left, the woman held an open book in her palms. On the right, the woman held a shallow bowl overflowing with flowers, plants, and herbs. Even in a carved stone form dozens of feet above her, it didn’t take long for Iyana to recognize many of them—yarrow, ginger, lavender, valerian, arnica. They were all medicinal.
Iyana swung her leg over the horse, lowering herself to the ground. The statue on the right lured her in.
“Iyana…” Altair warned. Ignoring him, she continued towards the base of the statue, boots crunching in the snow. The wind had died down this close to the library, the building acting as a shelter, but snowflakes continued to fall lazily around her, sticking in her hair and eyelashes.
She approached the square base, an unbroken chunk of marble smoothed down by an artist and time. It was easily taller than her. Snow and ice covered an inscription, rendering it unreadable. Using a spark of her magic, reveling in how easily it came to her now, Iyana melted away the frost. The inscription read Medicine Is A Shield.
“It’s Imera,” she whispered, stepping back to take in more of the statue. “It’s Imera,” she repeated, louder for the others to hear her.
“So who is that?” Talon asked, indicating the statue on the left.
Altair was already making his way to the base of the woman holding the book, and he melted away the snow compacted over the words. The inscription read Knowledge Is A Sword.
“The women look exactly the same, so are they both Imera?” Talon asked.
Zane shook his head. “Imera is only the goddess of healing, as far as I’m aware.”
“A twin then? Or sister?”
Altair frowned, studying the woman holding open the book. “Imera never had a sister.”
“I keep forgetting you were alive when the gods were awake,” Talon said. “Man, you’re old. It’s unsettling looking at your perfect, handsome face.” Zane glowered at him. Tal noticed, grinning and throwing a wink over to the prince.
Kaz, who had been in leopard form until now to keep warm, shifted and glared at them like they were all idiots. “You’re all idiots,” she said. “It’s Elena.”
“Who?” all five of them asked at the same time.
“Gana, grant me patience,” she said, rubbing between her eyes. “Elena is Imera’s twin. She’s the Goddess of Knowledge.”
“There’s no such goddess,” Zane said.
“Would you step back for one second,” Kaz snapped, “and acknowledge your fancy Athusan education may not have taught you everything?”
“But I’ve never heard of her either,” Altair said. “And as Talon so generously pointed out, I’m old.”
“Phaedros fucking take all of you,” Kaz said. “Can we please go inside so I can tell you how stupid you all are in there? I’m freezing my tits off.”
With nowhere else to put the horses, they walked them inside the library, tying them to a balustrade near the inner doors. A short series of stairs led down to the main floor. Iyana hadn’t known what to expect from the ancient library, but it was so much more than anything she could have imagined. They entered a vast chamber with an open ceiling. All the levels of the library were open in the middle, bridges crisscrossing across the large space. The roof of the library was glass—still intact—letting in light but keeping in the warmth. Bookshelves, railings, columns, and the flooring were all made of rich, dark wood, and books were squeezed into every nook and cranny. Unbound scrolls filled gaps the tomes couldn’t fit into. The smell of old paper and dust permeated the air, tickling Iyana’s nose.
The lower floor had podiums scattered throughout, with what appeared to be priceless artifacts under boxes made of glass. She did not know it was possible to make glass boxes. They were so delicate, like they would break if someone were to sneeze on them. Most of the artifacts were things Iyana wouldn’t have been able to even guess at what they were or their uses. There was a plain wooden box with a broken latch hung at a disturbing angle, eerily reminding Iyana of a fractured neck. It was labeled with Lurra: do not open. Another held a diadem, the jewel in the center glowing an unearthly amethyst, its placard in a language she couldn’t understand. Evil radiated from one in a dark corner—an orb the size of an apple hung suspended within the case. Made of pure black, it absorbed all the surrounding light. Khollo’s Downfall, it said. Iyana gave it a wide berth. Only one near the center of the room was empty, with broken glass scattered around the floor.
Iyana’s companions had wandered off and were all examining different aspects of the first floor; an unspoken agreement not to wander too far on their own.
Hearing the beating of wings, she peered into the upper corners of the room to find a pair of glowing eyes staring back at her. Iyana shrieked, stumbling back. Altair was at her side within less than a second, a stabilizing hand on her lower back. He followed her gaze and laughed deeply, the sound causing the owls hiding in the dark to take flight. Iyana heaved a sigh, releasing her magic at the same time; she hadn’t realized she’d tunneled into it during her brief panic. Feeling relieved, but stupid, she threw a glare at Altair, which only made him laugh louder. She stuck her tongue out at him, effectively shutting him up as heat filled his shining eyes. But she walked away from him, and if she put a little extra sway into her hips, then that was his own fault.
Kaz was standing before an altar on the opposite end of the large room. There was a smaller replica of Elena, the statue with the book that was outside. This one, however, held a book open in her right hand, her left raised in benediction. Little glass jars of various colors held fire, the light flickering and casting a dancing rainbow over the space. Iyana marveled at the magic required to keep those flames burning for an eternity.
“This is Elena,” Kaz said in a reverent tone, never looking away from the altar. “Even to those as old as the stars, she is mostly forgotten, because she disappeared early in history.”
“Disappeared?” Iyana asked, joining Kaz at the altar. Tears streaked down the shifter’s face. “How does a goddess disappear?”
“I don’t know the complete story. I think only the goddess herself can tell the true chain of events, but it is said that as the gods and goddesses were creating humankind, Elena wished to ensure they prized knowledge above all else—power, money, even love. She said it was for the greater good of their creation, and would help them avoid unnecessary conflicts. But, as is true for many bookish people—” she glanced at Zane, who blushed and turned away “—her voice was the gentlest of the pantheon, and she was often overlooked. Otho, God of Victory, and Thelena, Goddess of Triumph, were the loudest and so humans were endowed with a desire to always want more. Aaris, God of Marriage, insisted humans would be incomplete without love, and so their creations were given a large capacity for all emotions. Not only love, hope, joy, and sorrow, but also jealousy, anger, and hatred. The other gods and goddesses were allowed to contribute to their creation, and Elena managed to increase their brain size and instill a joy of learning.
“As the humans grew and multiplied, Elena quickly realized that winning, the thrill of victory, was more important to them than gaining a wealth of knowledge. She begged her family to reconsider the construction of these creatures, but they entertained the others and she was brushed off. Dismissed. Her twin, Imera, heard her pleas and gifted some humans with her magic. Those became the healer, in constant pursuit of novel ways to heal the human body. Elena touched a special few with her magic, but it never stuck to a large group as it did with Imera’s. However, she was placated for a time before human wars began in earnest. The amount of death and destruction humans brought about to their own kind appalled her. And so, telling no one—not even her twin—she disappeared. Nobody knows where she went, if she’s still alive, or if she plans on returning. Since she’s been gone, a devoted group of her followers dealt with the upkeep of this library, but as they placed knowledge above all else, their numbers soon dwindled and they died out. And so the world has been slowly forgetting her.”
Silent tears spilled over Kaz’s face. Iyana rubbed her back in a show of support.
“How is it you know all of this?” Iyana asked quietly.
Sniffling, Kaz wiped her face with her sleeves. “Like I said, this is only a story I was raised on in Nyr. I always felt bad for her, being forgotten in that manner, and so I made it a point to remember her. Elena’s library has been a place I’ve wanted to visit since I was young, but it was too hard to run away until recently. I hope that wherever she is, she knows someone is thinking of her.”
Iyana wrapped her friend into a hug, Kaz’s arms tight around her waist. They stayed that way for a few seconds, reveling in the comfort a friend could provide, before Kaz’s hands slowly slid down Iyana’s back and onto her ass.
“No,” Iyana said, laughing. They separated from the hug, Kaz now smiling.
She shrugged. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.”
“Fuck!” The shout came from the middle of the room. Iyana whirled around, magic ready at her fingertips, to find Altair standing before the podium with the broken glass. He didn’t appear to be in any danger, instead tugging his hair at the roots and staring at the empty space.
“What is it?” Iyana asked, crossing the room to stand next to him. The others followed her, creating a semi-circle around the podium.
The plaque was still intact and readable: The Astmina
“Do you know what that was?” Iyana asked Altair. He continued to tug at his hair until she placed a gentle hand on his arm. Iyana had never seen her star so spooked before.
He turned to Zane. “Does your father have something heart related, or has a heart on it somehow? Most likely golden?”
The blood drained from Iyana’s face, and she swayed on her feet. “The clasp,” she whispered. “For his cape.”
The hallucination of the heart in Uther’s clasp enlarging and beating threatened to overtake Iyana. The way the shadows undulated out before spearing into her chest. Fear and pain. She clamped a hand on Altair’s arm in a death grip to steady herself. He looked at her with concern, then tucked her into his side.
Zane turned his attention from the podium to Iyana, taking in her reaction. “Yes, how did you know?”
“I saw it…a couple times. Don’t really want to talk about it.” Zane nodded his understanding, and Altair gave her hip a small reassuring squeeze.
“Does your father wear it all the time?” Altair asked.
“Not all the time,” Zane said. “Only to important meetings or… Fuck.”
Altair’s brow furrowed, and he chewed on his lower lip.
“Anyone care to let the rest of the class in on this possibly life-changing news?” Talon asked.
“This clasp then,” Emmeric said, “is the astmina?” He connected with her gaze, his blue eyes worried, and then a flood of warmth and relief spread through her chest. That sealed it, then. Once was a fluke, but twice? Emmeric was helping calm her down through their bond. Iyana thought back to their argument in the woods, and the sudden hurt and anger filling her that she did not recognize as her own. Were these Emmeric’s emotions? Was the bond strengthening, or was this always something it was capable of? Regardless of their fight and current feelings towards each other, it was something she needed to be aware of, and so she made a note to ask him about it when they had a moment.
“I believe it is,” Altair said.
“What is an astmina?” Iyana asked.
“Astmina translates directly to ‘star core.’ It’s the heart of a star. An actual, literal heart wrenched out from one of my people and smelted down into jewelry.” Altair’s lips pulled into a sneer. “That bastard is using it to hide his movements from us.”
Air curled around Altair, swirling faster and faster, until, with an anguished yell towards the glass ceiling, the wind whipped outward with a gale force. Everyone stumbled several steps back, and they leaned forward against the squall, attempting to shield their faces from the broken pieces of glass and wood flying. The owls in their roosts hooted in alarm and flew to a more sheltered area of the library. Creaking and groaning of wood alerted Iyana that the bookcases were seconds away from toppling over, spilling all those precious tomes.
“Altair!” she yelled. His head was raised toward the ceiling, neck muscles straining, his arms stiff at his side, hands clenched into tight fists. He appeared to be in pain. And he couldn’t hear her. “Altair!”
Harnessing her own magic, she silently thanked the gods that air was one of her better elements. Iyana created a shield of her own wind and forged forward, determined to get to Altair before he destroyed the entire library. She had to force herself through a thick barrier surrounding the star where the winds were the strongest, but once she was past, she stumbled with the sudden lack of wind. She’d made it to the eye of the storm. It was eerily silent.
Iyana reached for Altair’s straining face, smoothing her thumbs over his cheeks. “Altair, my love,” she said. “Come back. Come back to me.”
His taut body relaxed ever so slightly, face slackening, urging Iyana forward. “Altair, I’m here. I’ll be here for you always. Your astalle.” The wind died down on the edges of Altair’s storm, and she saw her friends gaining their feet out of the corner of her vision. “Please, my love,” she whispered, closing her eyes.
Then Altair’s warm thumb traced her lower lip. As she glanced up at him, the first thing she saw were his eyes—the brightest gold they had ever appeared. The wind had stopped completely, but there was no physical way she could turn away to survey the damage. His brilliant, shining gaze full of adoration had entranced her, and she was his. Only his.
“Come,” he murmured, grabbing her hand and leading her to a secluded room where he closed the door behind them. The room appeared to be a sitting or meeting area with scattered chairs, tables, and even a couch covered with a drop cloth to protect it from dust. Without warning, Altair slammed Iyana against the wall and crowded into her space. She gasped and was about to admonish him for the amount of force he used, but then noticed the intensity with which he was looking at her.
“What?” she asked.
“You called me ‘my love.’”
Had she? Butterflies filled her stomach. Altair edged closer, wedging his knee between her legs—a hint of pressure at her core.
“I—I was trying to get your attention.”
Altair huffed a laugh. “Well, you have it. You not only named me as your love, you named yourself as my astalle.” His eyes dipped to her lips. “I understand it means nothing to you, but it is everything to me.”
Her breathing quickened as Altair rested his brow against hers. He took one of her hands and placed it on his chest. His heart was beating out of control.
“You make me crazy, astalle. Ever since I fell to the earth and saw your glee in looking towards the night sky. I see how fiercely you protect those you claim as yours, and how much compassion you hold for strangers. You are unafraid to reprimand me for some perceived slight, or throw me a rude gesture. You’ve never once judged me for my weaknesses, instead making me feel wanted despite and because of them. Ever since you let me kiss you that first time, you have been my astalle. My starheart. Iyana, I…”
She held her breath.
“Iyana, I love you. I think I’ve loved you since we lay on the desert floor together, watching the stars spin above us. The vast majesty of the night sky surrounded us, and all I could see was you.”
Her brain ceased to function, the extra energy being funneled to her heart beating faster, and her stomach tying itself in knots. Altair loved her. He loved her. A nobody from a little village hardly anyone knew existed. This gorgeous star who could have his pick of anyone he wanted loved her. It was outlandish. Unbelievable.
“Please say something,” he whispered, his forehead still resting on hers.
“I love you too,” she blurted. Her eyes widened. Iyana hadn’t meant to say that. Especially in such a blunt, unromantic way. But Altair didn’t seem to mind because he was looking at her like she was the center of his universe.
Then he was kissing her, showing her how much love he had to give.