Secrets in the Shadow (Midnight Falls #29)

Chapter One

I n visible to everyone but his son, Raziel stared down at the toddler, watching as Ethan played with his toys on the carpet, making small noises that sounded remarkably like an engine.

His child was beautiful, the spitting image of his mother, with her golden locks and both their emerald-green eyes.

If only he had known the human was pregnant with his child. But he hadn’t, because Raziel had been locked away in a cell, endlessly tortured for secrets he refused to reveal.

Ethan looked up at him, smiling as he held up a plastic truck. “Pay whiff me?”

The small truck was scuffed and worn, its bright colors dulled by countless adventures in tiny hands.

Raziel’s throat tightened. He was risking everything just being here, but since discovering he had a child, he couldn’t stay away. I would love to. He pushed the thoughts through his amoretto’s mind, the boy too young to do the same.

But before Raziel had a chance to even play with the car, the bear shifter stood from the couch and walked over, making Raziel take a step back to get out of his way.

“Sure, cub.”

Killian lowered himself to the carpet with ease, his movements fluid despite his imposing frame, and reached out to tickle Ethan’s belly. The toddler wiggled and squealed, the sound as angelic as the heavens Raziel had forsaken. Then his son pushed his uncle’s hand away.

“No you!”

Ethan held up his truck once more, his tiny arm stretched toward Raziel. “Pay whiff him.”

Father . Raziel longed to hear his son call him that, but he had discovered the babe’s existence only two days ago. Ethan had no idea who he was.

And never will so long as Bashar hunts you .

Fury roiled within Raziel, but it was a hollow, bitter thing. Half his abilities were gone, ripped away by Bashar’s cruel hand. Angels weren’t meant to take one another’s powers entirely.

It was against their divine nature, but Bashar had torn away as many as he could. Raziel also bore the scars of endless beatings, tortured for secrets he would never betray.

An angel couldn’t die—at least, none had died to confirm this—but there was worse than death. Twice Raziel had had his wings severed, and growing them back was the worst pain imaginable.

Bashar had threatened to cut off his head, and since Raziel didn’t want to find out how painful regrowth would feel, he’d escaped. Barely.

Now he was a hunted angel, ingesting disgusting concoctions to mask his whereabouts.

“Who, buddy?”

Killian glanced around the living room, scenting the air. “Do you see someone?”

He sees a father he has never known. A father who was unaware he had a precious son.

In the eyes of his pantheon, Ethan was an abomination. Half angel, half human. The zealots wouldn’t hesitate to smite the boy if his existence was discovered.

Angels couldn’t die, but a Nephilim could.

Yet another reason Raziel needed to walk away from Ethan and forget his child existed.

“Da man,”

his amoretto said as if it should have been obvious. Raziel smiled at how put out Ethan appeared.

Killian pushed to his feet, his muscles bulging, his gaze darting around. They were the same height, but Killian had a lot more body mass. “Show yourself,”

he snarled.

If only Raziel could.

He was sick and tired of being in hiding. And now that he knew he had a child, it was downright torture.

“I will end you to protect the cub.”

The promise of death flared in Killian’s eyes.

Which was why Raziel continued to leave his son with this family of bear shifters. With only half his powers, he couldn’t keep Ethan safe.

And that fact gutted him.

While Killian scanned the room, Raziel squatted and smiled at Ethan.

Soon, youngling. Soon you and I will play for endless hours. He pushed the thought into his son’s head, hoping the boy would speak to him telepathically, even though he knew Ethan was too young.

After glancing over his shoulder to make sure Killian wasn’t watching, Raziel reached out, wanting so badly to caress his son’s cheek, to pull Ethan into his arms.

Instead, he touched the stuffed animal lying next to his amoretto , a faint, blue glow emanating from his finger. The bear’s soft fabric warmed beneath his touch, and he imagined for a moment it might hold the same comfort for Ethan as it did for Raziel’s aching heart.

Keep your bear with you always— Raziel caught himself before he called him son. It will keep you safe and your whereabouts hidden from the bad men.

It was the best he could offer. To transfer a small portion of his remaining power to the toy.

He didn’t dare touch Ethan. Their bond would instantly resonate on earth and in heaven, alerting every angel that a Nephilim existed.

Then the hunt would begin.

Ethan grabbed the bear lying on the rug and clutched it to his chest, giving Raziel a single nod.

Good boy .

“Badass,”

Ethan whispered, smiling so brightly his dimples carved deeper into his cheeks.

Raziel suppressed a laugh. Yes, you are. More than you know.

As much as he wanted to stay, to simply sit there and watch his son, it was time to go.

He had been wrong. The worst pain imaginable was not being able to kiss his child’s forehead, not being able to touch him at all. It was a soul-crushing ache that tore at his heart and suffocated him with despair.

“No go!”

Ethan’s breath hitched, reaching for him, his tiny arm outstretched.

Raziel quickly backed away, the lump in his throat intensifying, causing him to blink back hot tears.

You will know me, son, Raziel vowed silently as he tore himself away . Even if it’s the last thing I do.

The sound of Ethan’s cries ripped through him like shrapnel. One moment he was there, and the next, he was gone, carrying with him a surge of emotions too tangled and foreign to fully grasp.

Stumbling, he gripped a tree to steady himself, pressing a hand against his chest. He couldn’t breathe. I can’t…breathe . Ethan belongs with me! A boy needed his father, regardless of whether he was considered blasphemy.

When he’d discovered Ethan, Raziel had wondered why he wasn’t with his mother. But as hard as he’d tried, he wasn’t able to detect Carol’s soul.

Which meant she was dead.

Raziel slid down to his ass and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, the onslaught of emotions hitting him from all sides. Bashar had taken so much from him. If he hadn’t thrown Raziel into a cell like some animal, he could have been there for the birth of his son.

He could have stopped whatever had taken Carol’s life.

He could have stopped Ethan from using his mind as a bridge between the shadows. That was how Raziel had felt him, how he’d known he had a son.

Ethan had taken Ryker into his mind to rescue a demon.

A demon for fuck’s sake.

Raziel lifted his head when he heard the crunch of snow and felt a presence growing closer. Jerking to his feet, he quickly pulled out his flask then drained the contents, the concoction instantly refilling.

Yuk! The stuff tasted like foul mop water, and not even the hella ton of bourbon he mixed in to try and dilute the nastiness helped. It was like putting deodorant on musty pits, but Raziel had to drink the shit to mask his location.

Because if Bashar caught up to him, the angel would make good on his promise to behead him.

Since Raziel didn’t feel the familiar electrical current in the air to indicate another angel was present, he relaxed.

A human drew closer, in full winter gear, a backpack strapped to his back. He was muttering under his breath, slapping his cellphone against his hand.

“How are you not working?”

Raziel faded into invisibility, watching intently as the human pivoted in slow, uncertain circles. The man squinted at the deepening shadows, visible puffs of warm air escaping his mouth.

“I don’t remember any of this.”

He must be lost.

The sun was already setting, and soon the woods would grow too dark for a human to properly navigate. The natural inhabitants would wander out, and not all of them would be docile creatures. But as Raziel watched the stranger, his gaze swept over the man’s handsome face, thinking to himself that he wouldn’t mind fucking the guy.

As far back as he could remember, Raziel had been drawn to humans. They were fascinating, with many complex emotions. Unlike angels, most of whom were as frigid as the air around him.

Raziel snorted. It wasn’t as if he would know since celestial beings weren’t supposed to have sex.

With anyone.

Not even by their own hand.

Which was why Nephilim were an affront. Their existence was proof an angel had defiled him or herself.

And Raziel defiled himself any chance he had. If he wasn’t meant to have sex, then why did he derive so much pleasure from it? Made no sense to him.

The human froze in place, his wide eyes scanning the surrounding woods. “Is someone there?”

he called, his voice steady but his hand tightening around his phone.

Raziel was stunned. How had the man detected him? That shouldn’t have been possible. There were only a few who could see or sense angels while invisible, like babies of any species or powerful beings.

The human was neither.

“I’m lost,”

he called out. “The compass on my phone isn’t working. I just need to be pointed in the right direction.”

I’ll point you right to my bed, gorgeous.

But if the man didn’t stop shouting, he would attract the wrong attention. Raziel could sense three wolves nearby, hungry and more than willing to eat a lost hiker.

Remaining invisible, he flashed from beside the tree he had been leaning against to directly behind the human male.

Carefully, he reached out, hesitated for a brief moment, and then touched the very ends of the stranger’s red hair. Raziel had always been a sucker for redheads. They had such fire and passion, especially when it came to sex.

With that single touch he knew who this man was. Cody McGillis, who was a mere twenty-nine years old and the new veterinary technician in Midnight Falls.

A noble profession.

Cody stilled. “Who’s there?”

Continue straight and I will guide you back to your car.

“I’m not taking directions from someone I can’t even see,”

Cody argued.

Once again Raziel was stunned. The human wasn’t frightened. Did that mean he knew about the preternatural world?

“I would advise you to follow my directions if you don’t want those wolves that are closing the distance to catch up with you.”

“Wolves?”

Cody’s breath came out a little faster. “But you could just be saying that to get me to follow you.”

It seemed Raziel wasn’t the only paranoid and mistrusting person. He’d just met this human and—

A gut-wrenching urge to grab Cody and never let him go struck Raziel.

No. He took a step back, his feet crunching in the snow. Cody spun around, his gaze darting.

In disbelief, Raziel stared at the man before him, the reality pressing down on him like an inescapable force. This human was his mate.

But… Angels didn’t have mates. How could they when they were supposed to remain pure? How could fate be so damn cruel? Raziel was being hunted by the most vicious angel to ever be created and couldn’t offer Cody shit.

First Ethan and now my mate. The list of people he had to deny was growing. And now Bashar had two people to possibly use against him to force him to comply.

Raziel would put Cody’s life in jeopardy if he claimed the human. He was a danger to his son and now his mate.

“Please, show yourself,”

Cody called again, his voice trembling.

Long shadows bled into the forest, and the pale glow of the moon barely softened the cold emptiness Raziel sensed around them.

For the second time in his existence—the first just days ago—he felt confusing emotions stir inside of him.

And he wasn’t sure how to handle them.

Hatred, rage, fear he knew all too well. They were constants in Raziel’s lonely, miserable life. Sadly, not even when he’d slept with Ethan’s mother had he truly felt anything other than mutual pleasure.

Raziel was filled with so much bitterness, so much anguish. He was broken, unlovable, and carried many scars from Bashar’s brutality. Friendship was a foreign concept to him, and so was vulnerability and tenderness.

The sound of howls made Cody spin in circles, his eyes wide. The rapid thrum of his heartbeat echoed in Raziel’s ears, and the sharp scent of fear hung suspended in the frigid air, distinct and undeniable.

“See, I wasn’t lying,”

Raziel said. “Now are you willing to take directions from me?”

“Whatever you are, you’re a complete jerk!”

Cody stomped away but glanced behind him a few times, like he was checking to see if the wolves were closing in on him.

Even though it was the worst idea, Raziel revealed himself. “Happy now?”

Cody stopped and spun around, the quick movement causing him to trip over an exposed root and fall toward the ground. Without thinking, Raziel flashed behind the human and steadied him, the weight of the man’s warmth startling against his skin. Slim and slight in his arms, Cody brought with him a rush of feelings Raziel had no idea how to handle.

Snatching his hands back, he flashed ten feet away, causing Cody to hit the ground with a grunt.

Oops.

“If that’s your idea of chivalry, you have a lot to learn.”

Cody grunted, trying to turn over, but all he managed to do was look like a flipped turtle. His large backpack was preventing him from doing anything other than flailing his arms and legs.

“Kitten, there isn’t a chivalrous bone in my body.”

Raziel manifested his flask, flicking his wrist at the same time to put the human on his feet.

What puzzled him was the fact Cody hadn’t said a word about Raziel flashing or helping him just now. For a second time, he wondered if his mate knew about preternatural beings. He had to, otherwise he would be shouting loud enough to draw the wolves to them.

Right now the creatures were sniffing around, on the hunt for deer. They had hungry pups in their den that needed to be fed.

Cody looked him over, his brows furrowed, causing a cute little pucker to appear between his eyes. “Why are you only wearing pants? Where’s the rest of your clothes? Aren’t you freezing?”

“You ask a lot of questions.”

Raziel leaned against a tree, shoving his hair out of his way to take another drink. Blah. He needed to go back to the unseelie who’d sold him the concealment potion and wring the little fucker’s neck. The guy could have at least made this crap taste halfway decent.

Then again, it had been an unseelie. For all Raziel knew, he was drinking poison. Not that it would kill him, but the taste was just so foul.

“Ah, I see.”

Cody folded his arms, his gaze assessing.

“And, pray tell, what do you see, human?”

Raziel forced himself to drink it down, though he’d rather have his tongue cut out.

“You have booze warming your veins.”

He shook his head, as if pitying Raziel. “It’s a false warmth, just so you know. As cold as it is out here, you’ll freeze to death without even realizing it,”

he finished in a haughty tone.

“Who are you to judge me?”

Raziel snarled, taking a menacing step toward him. “Your mind would explode if you knew a fraction of the shit I’ve endured.”

Cody averted his gaze, remorse in his eyes, and then he spun and started walking. The sun had set, and now all his mate had was the moon to guide him.

The guy was going to get eaten.

It wasn’t a prediction. Cody was stomping away so noisily that he might as well have a dinner bell around his neck.

Raziel just stood there and watched him moving farther and farther away. Why should he care if his mate hated him? It wasn’t as if Raziel had known a kind hand. Not even with Carol.

Their night together had been simply two people scratching an itch, but from their one-time encounter, a beautiful little boy had been born.

A boy he couldn’t tickle to hear those angelic sounds or… Stop thinking about it.

Grounding his teeth, Raziel flashed to Cody, who had started going in the wrong direction. “That road isn’t going to get you home, Dorothy.”

“What makes you think my name is Dorothy?”

He stared confusingly at Raziel. “It’s Cody.”

Really? “You’ve never heard of The Wizard of Oz ?”

“Have you ever heard of dirofilaria immitis?”

Cody shot back in a snarky tone, but there was embarrassment in his pale blue beauties.

Despite knowing his mate was referring to heart worms in dogs, Raziel knew the sting of embarrassment.

In his case, the lashes of humiliation. “Never heard of it. Point taken.”

“I’m just…”

Cody cast his eyes downward, his voice growing softer. It made him appear both vulnerable and frightened. “I just want to find my car.”

His mate was too much of a temptation. Raziel had to curl his fingers in so he wouldn’t tuck them under Cody’s chin to coax his mate to look at him. He needed to get away from the human. Raziel knew he wasn’t good for him, a danger in fact.

Just like he was a danger to his son.

Maybe Ethan was exactly where he should be, safe with others who could give him what Raziel could only dream of offering. What did he know of tenderness? Of love? Bitterness and pain had been his constant shadow, and he was sick of it clinging to him like a feral beast sinking its claws in deep.

After taking one last look at his mate, he sent the human, and his car, home.

The sudden absence left Raziel standing alone in the clearing, the wolves’ howls echoing faintly in his ears. He rolled his shoulders, the soft crack of tension snapping through his body as he tried to push down the surge of emotions threatening to surface.

It didn’t matter whether his mate was safe now or that he was better off far away from Raziel. Better off not knowing the fucked-up mess his so-called mate’s life had become.

Raziel tilted his head back, staring at the sky through the bare branches. Snowflakes fell softly, brushing against his face before melting away.

“For fuck’s sake,”

he muttered, running a hand through his tangled hair. “I don’t need this. I don’t need any of it.”

Cody didn’t need him, and neither did Ethan. Not really.

Turning sharply, he flashed out of the clearing, the cold void he left behind nothing compared to the emptiness he carried within him.